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Gaming for a dare

Posted 04-17-2019 at 08:14 AM by PrincessJessica
Updated 04-19-2019 at 06:53 AM by PrincessJessica
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Gaming for a dare

Domming isnít something that comes naturally to me, I find most of the time is filled with uncertainty (am I pushing too hard or worse just being boring?) particularly when giving dares to random people on GetDare. In some ways sticking to PM dares and adding threads rather negates any worries I have as thereís 100% certainty that the dares will be what the recipient is looking for (just occasionally rather more than they originally thought in the case of adding threads ) I thought Iíd try to explain my thought pattern in the cases where I try to be a little more inventive...

The Written Level

The first port of call is a personís likes & limits, the more detailed the better as that gives plenty of options plus a bit more certainty as to whatís doable and what isnít. I think this ďresearch phaseĒ might be one of my favourites as thereís often a real opportunity to dive down into a personís blog to discover other interests as well as the kind of level to be setting the dare (if they blog about trying anal for the first time thereís very little point concocting a detailed anal session for example) as well as giving me a opportunity to research kinks I might not be familiar with (like wedgies is something I only became interested in as a sub from reading about it while trying to make a dare for someone else).

Itís also the stage where I try to let my creativity wander (which often moves more slowly than Iíd like) to link a few likes & dislikes up into a sensible & cohesive dare. I try to make most of my dares into a mini-game of trying to do a like timed/with some other difficulty to avoid having to do a dislike or risk missing out on a reward (usually an orgasm). Itís the kind of dare I often like receiving even if they are quite difficult to write as it always involves some guesswork to formulate how long someone may take doing a task. Dares of this style do feel more creative, add some kind of element of risk/consequence and a synthetic ďlivenessĒ to the dare that I often enjoy as a submissive.

Of course, as many dare givers will attest, the most frustrating part after delving into all this detail is that you often receive nothing back (and if you are lucky enough to receive something ďIíve done itĒ might well be the extent of the detail). This doesnít tickle any of my sadistic bones, although part of it may well be that the dare isnít suitable or the person simply has less time than they originally expected (in which case a little note/attempt to negotiate would be helpful). Indeed I think Iím realising that just pictures or even videos donít tickle my fancy either. I like reading detail about how the dare went but particularly how people felt doing the dare. Maybe itís as a submissive wanting to step into the victim's shoes to some extent but knowing how the submissive felt while doing the dare adds greatly to the report for me.

That doesnít mean Iím the perfect dare giver. I think sometimes I do try a little too hard to give dares online. Armed with the entire catalogue of a person's likes & limits Iím a bit like an amateur artist suddenly with a whole new medium to work, so eager to show off my creativity that I want to use a bit of everything. Of course, I could just be over-thinking though...which does sound like me

The Live/cam level

Cam/live sessions provide a whole new challenge. Rather than fiddling with likes & limits to carefully craft a fun dare the biggest pressure becomes time. Trying to keep the flow of the session going while also making sure the submissive doesnít feel overly pressured and instead can enjoy themselves (to some degree anyway )

Although the main benefit is the ability for the session to grow organically and alter things on the fly, I find the best sessions usually involve some forward planning. Forfeit games provide a decent basis to practice for me as you get a solid basis of what both parties want out of the session. Thereís no time for researching so sticking to ideas Iíve enjoyed as a submissive is my usual go-to approach.

The biggest thing that gets me going as a dominant in these situations is getting some kind of emotional feedback. Edging sessions (basically along the lines of green light/red light) can be really fun as the strain & struggle is immediately obvious and pain sessions are also often fun as long as thereís some additional indicator (face, sound to hear them moans etc) for how the person is doing without them needing to resort to typing too much.

Although, as a submissive, live sessions are often the most fun sessions to be involved in as a dom they can often get quite stressy (at least for me) as I sometimes struggle to know where to take it next. Spontaneity isnít one of my strong suits and Iím acutely aware that the unexpected really is the spice of life with things like this (that pit of the stomach worry/excitement as a submissive is truly yummy). Unlike online dares where people often have profiles filled with information to work with playing with new/irregular partners is a bit of struggle to stumble into what works for the submissive too as youíre just armed with a person and your imagination.

The Next Level

Although domming/task giving isnít something I find easy itís a muscle I do enjoy flexing. I think it has made me a better submissive as Iím more aware of the work that goes into the other side as well as what makes me tick when reading reports in particular. When getting feedback (either live or written) the biggest turn-on for me is hearing about their arousal and/or struggles with the dare. Knowing that Iíve induced some kind of response and that theyíve done their best to please me is a great feeling.

Compared to some Iím not the most experienced so thereís not a huge array of knowledge to dive into, while I can sometimes use the power of Google that just isnít possible with live sessions potentially limiting sessions. However handing out tasks is something I feel Iím getting better at as I learn what works and what doesnít for me. I used to primarily flex my dom muscles with random people on cams but found that often it wasnít doing it for me as I just didnít get the feedback to really excite me. Male bodies (as most cam subs are) just donít excite me sexually and so Iím left feeding off emotional responses (which stereotypically males arenít known for). However, a well-written report can more than tickle my sadistic bones and I often find it easier to take my time to craft a proper dare this way too. Of course, there are bits I still struggle with and Iíd be really stretching it to say Iím a ďproperĒ dominant but hopefully the more practice & useful feedback I get the more comfortable I can get with this role.

Posted in Random Musings
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  1. Old Comment
    LitDarkness's Avatar
    This is a good blog. And unfortantly giving a dare can often give a done or no response at all.

    As much as I am like you and want to use everything in a dare or at least all likes, it often isn't possible. So I settle for most and this is hard to do in its own right.

    If it helps, I really do like the customs pm dares you gave me. (And I noticed others do too.) I never had a dare from you so I can't give you feedback there.

    And coming up with dares/tasks on the spot can be extremely hard too. And can be exhausting if done for a long period of time.

    As for being the perfect dare giver, no one is. You could be the most focused and caring person on earth and still give something that needs negoated etc.
    Posted 04-17-2019 at 03:20 PM by LitDarkness LitDarkness is offline
  2. Old Comment
    onemoretime83's Avatar
    Time to rewrite my likes/dislikes. Fun read
    Posted 04-17-2019 at 04:30 PM by onemoretime83 onemoretime83 is offline
  3. Old Comment
    PrincessJessica's Avatar
    If it helps, I really do like the customs pm dares you gave me. (And I noticed others do too.) I never had a dare from you so I can't give you feedback there.
    Thanks, glad you like them. When I do get feedback or reports people usually enjoy the dares I give so I should probably worry less. I won't ever be perfect of course as that's impossible but I'm still definitely learning (which is exciting) and do really enjoy the reports/live sessions I do.
    Posted 04-18-2019 at 06:54 AM by PrincessJessica PrincessJessica is offline

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