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Learning to Roar

Posted 12-14-2018 at 11:31 PM by Cassandra

Inspired by Butterfly's blog entry Hear me ROAR

Around 3 years ago, I had a pretty rough year with three serious visits to the emergency room. Since then, I learned these vital lessons I want to share with you now:

1. We are all broken.

Everyone. At least a little bit. And I don't mean just a little spleen or so. Everyone of us picked up bad habits and unhealthy attitudes from several past generations and human culture. Plus traumatas.
Usually, we function as it is needed to survive. But since that troublesome year I became quite aware of the spectrum of misery we carry around. And how we suffer from them nearly every day.

2. We are all innocent and lovely.

I didn't choose my past, and so didn't you. When we were children, we intuitively adapted to survive, to whatever harm to our personal needs and true self.
Regrets, shame, or feeling guilty about the past which is part of being broken. And still today, there are so many things out of our control. Fate leaves very little left to us.

3. As adults, we are capable to fix our broken parts.

But now, we are grown up. So I am responsible if I want to change. It's a lot of effort though, real personal work. Nerve-breaking. Exhausting. And my power for such progress is limited.
If I don't do it, I probably can't. Because I am missing the willpower, the strength, the awareness ... whatever. I am just missing something. And that is alright. The sooner I accept how it is now, and don't blaim myself, the sooner I gather the strength to proceed.
In the end, I do decide if I want to remain little, silent, powerless, or if I am sick of so much suffering and become responsible for my actions and attitudes, leaving the past dead behind me.
It's not just said and made. It's a way and long journey instead, one full of strain and treasures.

4. There are thousand ways, but only hundred are for you.

Though I am confident I experienced serious periods of depression, I never went to a therapist. It just doesn't seem to suit my lifestyle and needs. But, it works for plenty other people.
I am glad I discovered family stem therapy for myself. It feels working wonders, including some esoteric books I read over the decades.
The most vital learning for me here is, that it's rarely the very first person you go to that fits best for you. Trying different coaches, therapists, or whomever you go to, seems part of the process. And the right persons guiding you seem to be more significant than the method.

5. You always need other people to help you get fixed.

Because you need others to help you. It starts with the perspective. I need somebody else to even point out my broken parts first, and then offer me a fresh view.
Often enough, according professionals come with rituals and practices enabling me to honestly look at myself and change. The sheer objective logic won't do it. We humans are irrational, social beings.

So I am quite happy whenever I read about someone else finding their own way, making little steps of progress, or keeping up their efforts when struggling with daily setbacks.
I even think, kinky play and sessions may be a kind or part of self-cure if healthily performed, with a good partner, including after-care, lots of communication, care, love.

In the end, I wish everyone to learn to roar as much as we need it. And we need it a lot. It's a healthy mark of our personal territory, of our needs, and an expression of our true self.

But that's all just my personal opinion. What is yours?
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  1. Old Comment
    lilith_'s Avatar
    This was a great read, thank you for writing it <3
    Posted 12-15-2018 at 04:59 AM by lilith_ lilith_ is offline

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