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Ramblings of a Nymphet
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I want to be submissive

Posted 08-26-2018 at 10:51 AM by lilith_

I was about to write an ad about finding a Dom, but I had to erase it 4 times because it didn't feel right. I have tried this before and it never worked, so I decided to rant about it in a blog (where less horny clueless "Masters" will read it). THIS IS NOT AN AD.

I miss being submissive so much. I really crave being controlled, having to ask permission even for the simplest thing like using furniture, I miss having rules and having structure. I miss being bratty and then getting spanked for it. I really really really want to feel submissive again, it is such a big part of who I am but I cannot do anything about it.

But it is so difficult finding a Dom. It seems like everyone wants to jump right into the relationship from the first week but I cannot do that. I cannot send pictures and go on skype or start playing right away. I can't do these things with a stranger and it takes me a very very very long time until I am able to trust someone. I'm pretty sure if I actually find someone to try this with, he will get bored of waiting for me to trust him enough to submit and eventually he will leave after a month or two.

I get so jealous when I see others being happy in their D/s relationships and I get angry at myself because I shouldn't be jealous of other people's happiness. However I can't help but be sad and angry at myself because if I wasn't such a difficult person then it would be easier finding a Dom.

Life is way too boring and messy without submission.
Posted in Kinky me
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Unidentified's Avatar
    You should be allowed to take all the time you need to trust someone. Don't let the opinions of others rush you, because someone that is not willing to wait for your trust, doesn't deserve it.

    I hope you will find someone soon! Best of luck!
    Posted 08-26-2018 at 11:11 AM by Unidentified Unidentified is offline
  2. Old Comment
    suballyzon's Avatar
    Quote:
    But it is so difficult finding a Dom. It seems like everyone wants to jump right into the relationship from the first week but I cannot do that. I cannot send pictures and go on skype or start playing right away. I can't do these things with a stranger and it takes me a very very very long time until I am able to trust someone.
    It is indeed hard but I think you'll find one. And I hope you don't stop searching It'll be tough but the result will be beautiful. I know what it feels like to be so "boring and messy without submission", so if you need it that much, don't settle and don't stop searching.

    Quote:
    I'm pretty sure if I actually find someone to try this with, he will get bored of waiting for me to trust him enough to submit and eventually he will leave after a month or two.
    While it's true that most Doms want to jump into the "submission" part way too quickly before building the "companionship" first, it's still possible. It depends on where and what you're looking for. If you're looking for someone to be friends, and to have some kinky fun with.. then of course they won't be that patient. "Being friends" to them is just a requirement, and just a anonymous friendship with very little interest.

    But, if you look for someone (that's kinky) and companionship plays a big/main role in this D/s relationship to them. Then I'm sure they won't rush. It is quite hard to find someone like that, but I think it is possible. Since I'm also like you, I cannot submit to a stranger, or just a friend. I need somewhat a best friend to truly, naturally submit. So don't lose your hope You'll find one someday. And keep in mind that your preferences are not weird at all! There are people like you and like me, we just need to find them.

    Anyway, good luck And please don't lose hope.
    Posted 08-26-2018 at 06:56 PM by suballyzon suballyzon is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Masterwants's Avatar
    Well don’t you just love the irony of life?

    What I’ve been finding recently is a bunch of submissives that have no interest in letting me find anything about them as a person. They appeared to have too much attention elsewhere and were much too busy just playing and fulfilling their kinks to need companionship or friendship.

    Someone suggested to me that maybe it’s about being controlled but not owned..

    I guess we’re all different and you can’t click with everyone, but sometimes this seems like hard work and not much fun.
    Posted 08-26-2018 at 08:03 PM by Masterwants Masterwants is online now
    Updated 08-26-2018 at 09:28 PM by Masterwants
  4. Old Comment
    SlutTrainer's Avatar
    Personally I think you shouldn't be angry at yourself for being "such a difficult person" because "then it would be easier finding a Dom" because your goal isn't to "easily find a Dom", the goal is to find the right Dom for you.

    I agree it takes a bit of time to get to know someone and it can be really frustrating sometimes, especially when you find out you aren't right for each-other. D/s relationships are a lot like most other relationships, they take trust and effort on both parts and if your Dom doesn't think you're worth the effort then probably he's not the right one for you.

    It can be hard for subs who can't feel like themselves for a long time like that, I hope you find someone that makes you feel submissive and happy again !
    Posted 08-26-2018 at 10:40 PM by SlutTrainer SlutTrainer is offline
  5. Old Comment
    jeff10145's Avatar
    I have been on both sides of this as a sub and a dom, wanting to find that special someone but no one seems to fit the bill or the person wants to rush right into it.

    The one thing I keep telling myself when I see others in a relationship and having so much fun is that they went through the same thing I did. The relationships that you see lasting the longest and the strongest are the ones that took their time to get to know each other. I know it will all be worth it in the end when I find that special someone.

    Just remember to keep your head held high and do not be afraid to wait, if the person becomes impatient they simply are not the one.
    Posted 08-27-2018 at 03:46 PM by jeff10145 jeff10145 is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Joan Sky's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jeff10145 View Comment
    I have been on both sides of this as a sub and a dom, wanting to find that special someone but no one seems to fit the bill or the person wants to rush right into it.

    The one thing I keep telling myself when I see others in a relationship and having so much fun is that they went through the same thing I did. The relationships that you see lasting the longest and the strongest are the ones that took their time to get to know each other. I know it will all be worth it in the end when I find that special someone.

    Just remember to keep your head held high and do not be afraid to wait, if the person becomes impatient they simply are not the one.
    There some great comments on here along with this one. Great words
    Posted 08-27-2018 at 03:54 PM by Joan Sky Joan Sky is offline
  7. Old Comment
    lilith_'s Avatar
    Thank you all ❤️ it's impossible for me to rush right into a relationship, as it is impossible to follow a stranger's rules. I need at least 2 months to first build some sort of friendship, otherwise I simply don't have any interest in pleasing a stranger.
    Posted 08-28-2018 at 02:21 AM by lilith_ lilith_ is offline
 

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