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Kink/BDSM Pet Peeves

Posted 07-24-2018 at 11:45 AM by lola.fox
Updated 07-24-2018 at 12:05 PM by lola.fox

This blog was inspired by a writing prompt and is not targeting a specific person or singular experience. If youíd like to receive the site where I receive my prompts from, please let me know and Iíll pass it along!

Kink/BDSM Pet Peeves

- Being referred to as Miss, Mistress, Pet, Little Girl, Girl or the like by anyone who has not been granted permission to call me a specific title. Whether itís to show authority of your Dominant status or show respect as a submissive - itís irrelevant to me. These titles mean something to me (and to others) and I find it presumptuous for people to assume theyíre entitled to refer to me by anything other than my name/username without discussion unless itís stated in my profile that Iím into that sort of thing.

- Being called a nickname/petname by strangers. Iíve had far too many people message me on kik deciding to give me a random nickname when theyíve barely spoken more than a sentence to me and then get offended when I react negatively. I donít like to feign intimacy - weíre strangers. Have some common decency and refer to me by by name just as you would if you were speaking to me for the first time in person. Donít be surprised when I firmly correct you - and know that the conversation will be discontinued permanently if you ignore my clarifications.

- Being expected to bend to every whim or make you feel important. Iím not interested in answering every invasive personal question thatís popped into your brain just because Iím verifiably female or submissive. I wonít stroke your ego and wonít apologize for it. Itís not my job as a submissive to make you feel superior. I am not your submissive.

- Finding my photos being posted by anyone other than myself. I donít care if Iíve posted them in various places - thatís my prerogative. It doesnít give you permission to repost on my behalf. Even my boyfriend requests my permission to use my photos on his social media whether theyíre kinky OR vanilla photos. I also donít appreciate my photos being saved. That sincerely makes me want to remove my photos from the public eye and to cease posting in general.

- Being told Iím not Ďkinkingí properly. Everyone practices BDSM differently. Your opinion is not relevant to me and my personal relationship. You donít know what goes on behind closed doors nor do I plan to write a tell all informing you. I prefer to keep some semblance of privacy regarding play and my relationship. I donít believe in the concept of Ďrealí submissives and Ďtrueí dominants. I believe in doing what I feel is right for me and James and thatís a very fluid process. I get a lot of say in my bdsm relationship and that seems to be misconstrued as a negative thing by many people here. If weíre not inviting you into our relationship, you donít get a say in it.

- Receiving tasks that donít take the female anatomy/individual into account. When I rarely participate in a TORD thread Iím put off by receiving tasks that presume I can cum from flicking my clit 27 times. Or that I can shove an 8 inch wide dildo into my vagina with my right hand, while doing a backbend and caning myself with my left hand.

- Excessive speech rules and restrictions in the getDare chat. It really interrupts the flow of the chat and make people less receptive to including you in their conversations.

[DISCLAIMER: There is nothing wrong with any of the above topics if you are okay with including them in your play, this is just personal opinion and it is in no way a reflection on how you should live your life.]
Posted in Rants
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  1. Old Comment
    Butterfly's Avatar
    Love this and I agree with everything single one of them!
    Posted 07-24-2018 at 12:06 PM by Butterfly Butterfly is offline

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