A random assortment of reports, thoughts, ramblings and information. Pretty much a view inside my wonderfully complicated, sometimes broken, and entertaining mind.
Negativity
I am a negative Nelly. I can admit it. I am a worry wart. I always seem to think the worst will happen.
Mr. Devious frequently has to remind me to not be negative or down on myself. He pushes me to think about the positive outcomes of a situation rather than focus on the negative. Which actually pisses me off at times, but I do appreciate it.
When you have been through as much shit as I have in your life, it is hard to stay focused on the good things. Years of abuse, neglect, bullying, and bad luck has impacted me in ways that I can't even put into words. It is hard to not be skeptical of people or to think of the glass being half full instead of half empty.
Sometimes I need to have my moment to be negative. To mourn, to cry, to worry, to be upset or anxious .. but then I need to move on. I want to be happy: I do! Which means I need to focus on the positive.
Negativity is a black hole. It will suck you in. It is a dark cloud that will overshadow any amount of sun trying to peak through. The more you feed the cloud, the more it grows and soon it casts a darkness that not only takes over your whole life, but starts to affect others.
I have a lot going on in my life that could, if I allowed it, turn into a negative storm hanging over my head. I had a miscarriage recently. I have been in constant pain for months from a car accident. I am not entirely happy at my job. My aunt back home is not doing well and I am dealing with some other family issues as well. Any one of these things is a lot to deal with on its own, but all together it creates the perfect storm for negativity.
However, I wake up each morning and try to put a smile on my face. I have patience and am kind to those requiring my help. I take joy in small things: a latte, a phone call with my best friend, baby snuggles. I do not let the negative take over my life.
Sure, I have bad days! I think we all do. There are days where I just feel burnt out and don't want to leave my bed. There are days where I dwell on the negativity and I let it stress me out enough that I don't even want to eat. But I get through it and move on.
Lately I have found that I am surrounded by negativity: work, family, friends, getDare and online friends ... it is all around me. The worst part is that a lot of the time it seems these people create the negativity themselves. They take something and blow it out of proportion or they add fuel to the fire to create an even bigger situation. They focus on the negative SO MUCH that there is no positivity left to grasp onto.
Positivity has to come from within you. We are all faced with negative things. Life sucks sometimes. But being positive is a choice we have to make for ourselves. It is easier said than done, of course.
I try my hardest to not be too skeptical of people. Instead, I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Rather than dismissing somebody immediately if they do something to offend me, I try to give second chances. Instead of pushing people away, I try to trust them and let them in. If somebody is having a bad day, I listen and try to point out the positives, or wish them a happy day.
I smile, I laugh, I play, I hug, I help, I am kind and caring and I listen. I try my hardest to be positive.
But those negative people ... they suck you in. It becomes overwhelming and it reaches a point where their black cloud of negativity starts to overtake my sunny sky.
And that is when I need to push back! Take back my positivity and happiness. I am working hard to eliminate negativity. To embrace the positive. To rid my life of the unneeded drama and bad karma.
That being said, I really hope this blog comes off as positive. I really did intend for the underlying message to be one of choosing positivity and happiness.
Mr. Devious frequently has to remind me to not be negative or down on myself. He pushes me to think about the positive outcomes of a situation rather than focus on the negative. Which actually pisses me off at times, but I do appreciate it.
When you have been through as much shit as I have in your life, it is hard to stay focused on the good things. Years of abuse, neglect, bullying, and bad luck has impacted me in ways that I can't even put into words. It is hard to not be skeptical of people or to think of the glass being half full instead of half empty.
Sometimes I need to have my moment to be negative. To mourn, to cry, to worry, to be upset or anxious .. but then I need to move on. I want to be happy: I do! Which means I need to focus on the positive.
Negativity is a black hole. It will suck you in. It is a dark cloud that will overshadow any amount of sun trying to peak through. The more you feed the cloud, the more it grows and soon it casts a darkness that not only takes over your whole life, but starts to affect others.
I have a lot going on in my life that could, if I allowed it, turn into a negative storm hanging over my head. I had a miscarriage recently. I have been in constant pain for months from a car accident. I am not entirely happy at my job. My aunt back home is not doing well and I am dealing with some other family issues as well. Any one of these things is a lot to deal with on its own, but all together it creates the perfect storm for negativity.
However, I wake up each morning and try to put a smile on my face. I have patience and am kind to those requiring my help. I take joy in small things: a latte, a phone call with my best friend, baby snuggles. I do not let the negative take over my life.
Sure, I have bad days! I think we all do. There are days where I just feel burnt out and don't want to leave my bed. There are days where I dwell on the negativity and I let it stress me out enough that I don't even want to eat. But I get through it and move on.
Lately I have found that I am surrounded by negativity: work, family, friends, getDare and online friends ... it is all around me. The worst part is that a lot of the time it seems these people create the negativity themselves. They take something and blow it out of proportion or they add fuel to the fire to create an even bigger situation. They focus on the negative SO MUCH that there is no positivity left to grasp onto.
Positivity has to come from within you. We are all faced with negative things. Life sucks sometimes. But being positive is a choice we have to make for ourselves. It is easier said than done, of course.
I try my hardest to not be too skeptical of people. Instead, I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Rather than dismissing somebody immediately if they do something to offend me, I try to give second chances. Instead of pushing people away, I try to trust them and let them in. If somebody is having a bad day, I listen and try to point out the positives, or wish them a happy day.
I smile, I laugh, I play, I hug, I help, I am kind and caring and I listen. I try my hardest to be positive.
But those negative people ... they suck you in. It becomes overwhelming and it reaches a point where their black cloud of negativity starts to overtake my sunny sky.
And that is when I need to push back! Take back my positivity and happiness. I am working hard to eliminate negativity. To embrace the positive. To rid my life of the unneeded drama and bad karma.
That being said, I really hope this blog comes off as positive. I really did intend for the underlying message to be one of choosing positivity and happiness.
Total Comments 4
Comments
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With all the shit you have had to deal with in your life, you have clearly become pretty good with a shovel. (Did he really say that?) We all recognize it and love you for it.Posted 02-20-2018 at 09:53 PM by MarvHarvey 
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With everything you have been though I am so proud of you for the positivity you continue to show and spread to others. No matter what happens, you know I'm always here for you.Posted 02-21-2018 at 09:50 AM by Mr. Devious
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Despite all the rough times you have been through and are going through, I know how strong and positive you really can be!
Hang in there Miss. I'm always thinking you you and sending virtual hugs your way!
And I'm always so happy when you tell me about the fun things you are doing!Posted 02-21-2018 at 10:18 AM by Jaro
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Butterfly, you are one of the most loving, helpful, and caring people I've communicated with on this site. I'm sorry there is so much negativity right now. Always here to chat if needed, but I know you're a strong person that has and will continue to overcome the negativity. Stay strong my friend.Posted 02-21-2018 at 12:15 PM by b69
