Nothing much till now....
New begining
Tags owneed thughts
Well, as all of you guys already know, I took a plane out of Gd in a very shitty way, and in a very shitty situation, I had an experience that I hope that no one pass through it, I have seen close people to me suffering sever pain tell they died, then seeing that in a mother, its worst experience ever, and its not over yet, but its way more better now...
Now, when I left gD two months ago, I was mind set that I wont be back at all, and that I need only to focus on one thing...
Now I can see how shitty that looks like, how can someone abandon those who cares for him just like that, I always thought that a good person is the one who is always trying to do the good thing, but part of being a good person is that you do not make a cowardly decisions when things gets dark...that's what I realized just yesterday...
I have done tremendous mistakes running away, and when I tried to set them right, I have done more mistakes in that way, trying to make things go back to the way they are...things wont go back, I won't go back in time to change my acts, I won't be able to change the things I have done, the damage has already done...I only realized that for real yesterday....
And Then, I found my self facing two options here, one of them is an urge, an urge to vanish again, which now I realize more than ever is one of my biggest flows is the urge to run when things gets bad...I realized that I have done that twice, and at the two times, I think I hurt those who cared for me most...
The other option is to stay and face the things, and not run away again as I did, which of course I decided to do, and now that I know that the damage has been already done, all I can do now is to apologize and try my best not to do it again...
I won't force someone to deal with me and I wont ask anyone to talk to me, I respect everyone's decision, though It would make me happy if you did...
now I need to mention two people here...
Lilone, the one who has supported me the most, and has always been there for me, and yet I spent like 45 days not talking to her, and when I came I found that she still loves me (Can I be more retarded??) I apologize to you the most, I will never stop thinking about you, and I will never stop being your friend...
Jlstockton25, the one I hurt the most, and if I apologized to you everyday I would never make it up to you...and you deserve all the goodness in the world...and I really appreciate that you are still my friend, cause I don't want to stop being your friend, forever...
Now about me, I hope things won't get bad with me again, but if it did, and shits happens to everyone, I promise, well, I promise myself the most, to try my best not to run again, and to be more brave and face things like a normal person can do, I might be taking breaks from gd, from the life style, but I will never be taking breaks from my friends again, and I hope that I would stick to that promise...
Now that I don't know what are my plans regarding D/s and I know now that both my sides are very strong, the dominant and the submissive, though I haven't figured out yet what I am going to do....I consider my self at a new beginning
Now, when I left gD two months ago, I was mind set that I wont be back at all, and that I need only to focus on one thing...
Now I can see how shitty that looks like, how can someone abandon those who cares for him just like that, I always thought that a good person is the one who is always trying to do the good thing, but part of being a good person is that you do not make a cowardly decisions when things gets dark...that's what I realized just yesterday...
I have done tremendous mistakes running away, and when I tried to set them right, I have done more mistakes in that way, trying to make things go back to the way they are...things wont go back, I won't go back in time to change my acts, I won't be able to change the things I have done, the damage has already done...I only realized that for real yesterday....
And Then, I found my self facing two options here, one of them is an urge, an urge to vanish again, which now I realize more than ever is one of my biggest flows is the urge to run when things gets bad...I realized that I have done that twice, and at the two times, I think I hurt those who cared for me most...
The other option is to stay and face the things, and not run away again as I did, which of course I decided to do, and now that I know that the damage has been already done, all I can do now is to apologize and try my best not to do it again...
I won't force someone to deal with me and I wont ask anyone to talk to me, I respect everyone's decision, though It would make me happy if you did...
now I need to mention two people here...
Lilone, the one who has supported me the most, and has always been there for me, and yet I spent like 45 days not talking to her, and when I came I found that she still loves me (Can I be more retarded??) I apologize to you the most, I will never stop thinking about you, and I will never stop being your friend...
Jlstockton25, the one I hurt the most, and if I apologized to you everyday I would never make it up to you...and you deserve all the goodness in the world...and I really appreciate that you are still my friend, cause I don't want to stop being your friend, forever...
Now about me, I hope things won't get bad with me again, but if it did, and shits happens to everyone, I promise, well, I promise myself the most, to try my best not to run again, and to be more brave and face things like a normal person can do, I might be taking breaks from gd, from the life style, but I will never be taking breaks from my friends again, and I hope that I would stick to that promise...
Now that I don't know what are my plans regarding D/s and I know now that both my sides are very strong, the dominant and the submissive, though I haven't figured out yet what I am going to do....I consider my self at a new beginning
Total Comments 8
Comments
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Owneed!
In my eyes You still did The right Thing.
However i understand how You feel but there is really no reason to vanish again.
*bumpfists*Posted 01-08-2015 at 09:23 AM by SweetTeen 
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I love you lots and lots and lots papa
I'll never leave you Ehe. I'll always be you're friend and be there for you. You can't get rid of me silly! <3 you did the right thing don't feel sad 
now you're back its good. XxxPosted 01-08-2015 at 10:16 AM by lilone
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I am sad if you hurt people, but remember if you are always doing the best that you could at the time you can not beat yourself up too much. Just remember to learn and grow always!
We missed you around here, I am glad you are back!Posted 01-08-2015 at 12:08 PM by Happy Me
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While this is not the most in depth comment here.
*hugs*
Nice to see you back.Posted 01-08-2015 at 02:49 PM by Iodine
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Silly you.
You don't have to apologise for what you did, you did what you thought was best at the time, and while we wanted you to stay we understand why you did what you did.
Family comes first and we all know that, and we were always going to be here for you when you returned.
Although if you run from me again I'm going to smack you in the head.
Love you.Posted 01-09-2015 at 07:55 AM by IceMaiden
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I am also guilty of running sometimes. I too am working on not pushing away the people who care most about me.
That being said, there is no need to apologize, we all understand. Although we missed you, we know that you were only doing the best thing for you in that situation. I am very happy to see you back, and if you ever want to talk, I am here at all times. I would love to talk through pm or see you around in chat.Posted 01-09-2015 at 09:45 AM by Butterfly
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You did the best you could do with what you were given. I missed you and I'm so happy you're back. You honestly don't owe me or anyone else an apology. I wish you had stayed and let us help you, but you did what you had to do and we understand. I'm very happy you decided to come back, you were very greatly missed. Everyone handles grief and stress differently. Just know that no matter what you're going through, you have a community of people here who love and support you.
Posted 01-09-2015 at 08:37 PM by jlstockton25
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I'm just really glad to have you back, Owneed! In fact, I dropped everything and rushed to the chatroom when I got word that you were there.
Don't feel bad about choosing to spend time with your family and away from the site. We all understand! There may come a time when you'll be offline for a while again, but don't say goodbye in that case. Say 'see you later' instead!Posted 01-13-2015 at 06:29 AM by drwarschauu
