degrading ya slave

[talla]

ok how the hell do u degrade ya slave when they have so many limts like nothen to painful, no piss nothen to messy, no poo and they r limted to what they can use

[Davros]

ok how the hell do u degrade ya slave when they have so many limts like nothen to painful, no piss nothen to messy, no poo and they r limted to what they can use

Never mind "degrade"... more like "disown"... if a slave has a pathetic amount of limits, it's hardly "giving themselves over to a Master" in the first place.

[userben]

one word mental. use words to make the feel worthless so basically i think of degrading people it two ways physical and mentally ok thats more then one

[lucky]

Is it hard to humiliate someone? First use a nickname for the slave, you can use a dog name, or something you are sure the slave dislikes. And use the name even in public. No one places a limit about talking and the master would have his fun until the slave would do anything not to be humiliated any more like this.

[Merlin]

ok how the hell do u degrade ya slave when they have so many limts like nothen to painful, no piss nothen to messy, no poo and they r limted to what they can useIf you really have an interest to degrade someone then you should be able to think of things for yourself ! ...
Still a few things that come to my mind ...
1. Always looking down not in the eyes of the Master
2. Speaking only if asked
3. Sitting on the floor and not on a chair
4. Wearing ugly/saggy clothes
...
and i could add a lot more

[Bandit|Queen]

Okies I'm not a fan of degredation or harsh humiliation it makes me feel bad about myself after it has finished to the point where I get depressed. So I'd just like to add that if you are going to do any of what people have suggested then remember that some after care is good :) Gine them a hug atleast so they know they are worth your while, no subbie should be considered worthless (end of mummy mode). A subtle thing to do would be to take their money phone and bag etc away when you go out, that way you have total controll over how their money is spent etc. Like being a kid again really and having to ask for some money.

I agree with Merlin with the having to keep their eyes down and only speeking when spoken too, again subtle and really puts the subbie in "their place". But I dont think that should be a perminant thing just something randomly done as I think this would make it stand out more and be more "degrading".

[TheDomInMe]

"Okies I'm not a fan of degredation or harsh humiliation it makes me feel bad about myself after it has finished to the point where I get depressed."

This is the danger of degradation. Humiliation can/should be used to express the master's power over the sub. The sub's commitment to performing the humiliating task lowers their resistance by submitting to the will of the master yet, at the same time, doing so builds them up by letting the sub unleash her submissive side. In this way, the master builds up his sub while bringing her resistance/will down. The danger of degradation is that repeated degradation over a long period of time without a measure of control can scar the sub and reverse the process of building up by tearing down. Instead the cycle becomes breaking down by tearing down. I have learned from other experienced doms that degradation is often better suited for the bedroom and used in limited circumstances. Most have seen how a sub can be wildly turned on be being called "a worthless whore" in the bedroom once or twice, but imagine if you called her that all day everyday for months on end. The effect won't be seen immediately or even after a day or two, but a few months down the line. Humiliation can be used often - degradation with caution.

[MstDynamic]

Knowing a RL Mistress, she has a male sub/slave, he like's in ways to crossdress in all the finer things of lingerie, so putting him into panties/bra's etc, did in a way humilite him, but also excited him too, so She put him in the old fashioned bloomers when at times extra was needed. He confessed that this did more to humiliate him, and hated when he had to wear them, and was within limits.

It does take thought and talking together to expand both minds alike

[Bandit|Queen]

This is the danger of degradation. Humiliation can/should be used to express the master's power over the sub. The sub's commitment to performing the humiliating task lowers their resistance by submitting to the will of the master yet, at the same time, doing so builds them up by letting the sub unleash her submissive side.

I personally feel that there are much more affective ways to make a subbie feel their submission for instance I have to wear my collar to bed every night. This makes me aware of my submission to my Master even though he is not there. I don't personally need to be degraded or humiliated to submit to my Master I know my place because of the subtle things he does like the tone of voice he takes with me if I don't do as he says or that I am restricted on certain things. But I do agree that humiliation and degredation are different things.:)

[Sum]

I must say i hate the word degradation. Why would a Master want to degrade their submissive/slave. I believe, that a Master has a duty of care over their submissive/slave.

This is an interesting article, which i may have linked to previously on the subject; http://www.thescreamergirl.com/ehd.htm

It's very much worth a read in my opinion.



I would never degrade my little one, embarrass, always, humiliate from time to time, but degrade, the idea actually makes me feel slightly ill.

[Bandit|Queen]

I would never degrade my little one, embarrass, always, humiliate from time to time, but degrade, the idea actually makes me feel slightly ill.


I should hope you wouldn't degrade me! and yes embaresses me alot! hehe but always in a good way:D And erotic embaressment hu? Well I'd call it making me go bright red but meh I have to say it does it for me :D

[talla]

hmm very intersting. I dont get it some slaves love to be degraded y is it?

[Sum]

It's a personal preference. I think you need to think about what you both mean by degradation. I think it's highly possible you're actually referring to either embarrassment or humiliation.

For me they are 3 levels of similar things which, probably cross over into each other.

I really do recommend going through that link i sent, it's not particularly long but lays out some ideas on the different levels.

For me i feel that if you make the sub actually feel bad about themself, in a way that is not constructive, that just hurts them psychologically, that they can not build from, that is degradation.

For me anything other is embarrassment or humiliation, or at most *play* degradation, where both parties know that there is such a level of honour and trust between them that it is not meant deep down.

[SubMissChievous]

hmm very intersting. I dont get it some slaves love to be degraded y is it?

I think that a lot of people, including myself, would refer to "degradation" when talking about things like pet play, infantilization or even name-calling. I think that it's because even if humiliation & degradation are seperate things they do resemble & sometimes some activities can be humiliating & degrading all at the same.

The danger of degradation is that repeated degradation over a long period of time without a measure of control can scar the sub and reverse the process of building up by tearing down. Instead the cycle becomes breaking down by tearing down. I have learned from other experienced doms that degradation is often better suited for the bedroom and used in limited circumstances. Most have seen how a sub can be wildly turned on be being called "a worthless whore" in the bedroom once or twice, but imagine if you called her that all day everyday for months on end. The effect won't be seen immediately or even after a day or two, but a few months down the line. Humiliation can be used often - degradation with caution.

It's not necessarily true, it really depends as everyone & every relationships are different. Like I mentioned some people are much into stuff like pet play, wearing diapers & want it as much as possible. Or like using name-calling only in the bedroom, again, it's really up to what each likes. I agree that too much can be harmful (or get old) but some slaves actually like if it's used casually every now & then. Kinda like a "little reminder" of some sort. If the degree used & frequency suits well both person in the relationship then I think it's fine. But it's very important to get to learn how much is too much for the slave.

And I've also noted the last sentence in your post, and I agree much with tempered_sugar on this. I don't either need to be either humiliated or degraded to & the more subtle approach usually is a lot more effective with me. Humiliation used too often or too severely can be just as damaging as degradation in some cases.



2. Speaking only if asked

I think this one's good but mostly offline. If you're to try this online you would really need to know your partner very well because the thing is that if something goes wrong or if the slave's not being comfortable with something they may sometimes not say it not to break the rule.

(Funny note: I've been told recently "A Master who would expect you to keep quiet would really miss on something... " I think it was a compliment ;) )

[TheDomInMe]

I say humiliation can be used often because many things that are part of normal m/s relationships can be categorized as humiliation. For example, it could be argued that words such as slave, slut, whore, toy, pet are humiliating. It could also be argued that much of the structure that holds the m/s relationship together are humiliating - kneeling by your master, calling him Sir or Master while he/she can call you anything, performing rituals to show your worship. This is the main reason why I suggest that humiliation can be used often because it can be argued that humiliation occurs all the time in such a relationship (although I'd prefer not to have an extended debate over this because that is getting down to people's personal definition of humiliation). Degradation to me is very different from the things listed above and I agree that degradation used casually can be an effective way to remind your slave of her place - my argument is against overdoing degradation for fear of the long term effects.

[TheDomInMe]

I personally feel that there are much more affective ways to make a subbie feel their submission for instance I have to wear my collar to bed every night. This makes me aware of my submission to my Master even though he is not there. I don't personally need to be degraded or humiliated to submit to my Master I know my place because of the subtle things he does like the tone of voice he takes with me if I don't do as he says or that I am restricted on certain things. But I do agree that humiliation and degredation are different things.:)

Yes, humiliation, if desired by both Master and Slave, is just another tool in the Master's toolbox. It certainly is not the only tool to exert his/her power. Structure, rules, standing orders, rituals, amongst other things can also exert the Master's power and provide the Slave with a means to express his/her submission.

[SubMissChievous]

I say humiliation can be used often because many things that are part of normal m/s relationships can be categorized as humiliation. For example, it could be argued that words such as slave, slut, whore, toy, pet are humiliating. It could also be argued that much of the structure that holds the m/s relationship together are humiliating - kneeling by your master, calling him Sir or Master while he/she can call you anything, performing rituals to show your worship. This is the main reason why I suggest that humiliation can be used often because it can be argued that humiliation occurs all the time in such a relationship. Degradation to me is very different from the things listed above and I do not disagree that degradation used casually can be an effective way to remind your slave of her place - my argument is against overdoing degradation for fear of the long term effects.

But then what do you do if a slave as humiliation in his/her dislikes or if it's a limit? Not all slaves want it or need it to know their place or feel owned. And I understand what you mean by having to use words like Sir or Master or kneeling can be seen as humiliating. But the thing is that what's humiliating for one isn't necessarily for all. Most of the "classics" in humiliation to me like kneeling isn't humiliating, it's just boring. But another person could see this as very humilating. And if it's a dislike much less a limit & you use it often you will have just the same nasty long-term effects in the long run. Which is why it's better to know how comfortable a slave is with humiliation before using it frequently.

And about rituals, I have never come across a slave who had them & found them humiliating. These are usually used for slaves to feel "safe" or reassured. It's to have these comforting little things "outside" the relationship in our every day life. So if it brings a negative feeling (as it would if the slave hates humiliation) then it sure don't bring any comfort or safety at all.

[TheDomInMe]

But then what do you do if a slave as humiliation in his/her dislikes or if it's a limit? Not all slaves want it or need it to know their place or feel owned. And I understand what you mean by having to use words like Sir or Master or kneeling can be seen as humiliating. But the thing is that what's humiliating for one isn't necessarily for all. Most of the "classics" in humiliation to me like kneeling isn't humiliating, it's just boring. But another person could see this as very humilating. And if it's a dislike much less a limit & you use it often you will have just the same nasty long-term effects in the long run. Which is why it's better to know how comfortable a slave is with humiliation before using it frequently.

And about rituals, I have never come across a slave who had them & found them humiliating. These are usually used for slaves to feel "safe" or reassured. It's to have these comforting little things "outside" the relationship in our every day life. So if it brings a negative feeling (as it would if the slave hates humiliation) then it sure don't bring any comfort or safety at all.

You've made very good points. If a Master is using humiliation when the slave has that as a limit then there is something wrong unless he/she is trying to push the limit (if it's a soft limit). My argument about humiliation assumed a desire from both parties for humiliation and does not account for the case when one party does not desire it.

[EDIT] On my original post, I stated what I considered to be the difference of humiliation and degradation (humiliation tears down, but builds up while degradation simply breaks down). This difference is the main reason why I stated that humiliation can be used often - I was not stating that it should always be used often. Humiliation, because of the effects it can have on a sub who wants it, can help build them up over time by allowing them to express their submission without having adverse emotional effects. So for that type of sub and master, it can/should be used often. On the other hand, degradation, used repeatedly, often and over a long period of time, can harm the slave emotionally even if he/she does not realize it initially. Again, I'm using the word "can" as this may not be the case for every situation.

[gidget]

I will have to agree with TheDomInMe, of course in subjects such as these, there will always be a certain amount of personal preference.

As a sub, I am weary of degradation and its very possible dangers. While I understand subs need to be put in place sometimes and deserve punishment for disobedience, some Doms will overuse degradation as punishment, twisting my emotions for them into fear and distrust, even anger. I'd warn any master using degradation for punishment to know the strength of your slaves psyche and temperment. We like to be walked on, not stomped on. :P

[Bandit|Queen]

gidget I have to say that was a the best arnswer except I wouldnt call submitting being walked over but meh I get what you mean :)

[guppi2008]

Gidget you are very good at explaining things and making people think that bit more. Gave you some rep points.

[gidget]

Aw, thanks tempered_sugar and guppi~ I would've thanked you sooner, but I didn't realize my post had been commented on, oops...^ ^;

[TensionRoom101]

As a Dom, I have absolutely no desire to degrade my subs. To degrade another Human Spirit degrades the abuser tenfold.

My subs are often humiliated, agreed, but invariably it is humiliation they've brought on themselves by attempting to cause one reaction in me and ending up with egg on their face. Any humiliation from me is passive, not directive.

I KNOW the depths my sub will WILLINGLY go to to prove her devotion to me. So why do I need to put her there? To me, it is an inverse thing. She would do this for me, so I should raise her up, not raze her to the ground.

Mike