Discussion : Definition of a Master

[TheGravedigger]

After reading the threads here, and speaking with Merlin, I thought it might be a good idea to discuss the definition of a master, and some of the related terms.

Generally speaking, the term master and dominant tend to get thrown around as the same word, when they tend to have some rather difference connotations. Additionally, words like Owner and Top can be used in similar context, with slightly different meanings.

I know I have my own definitions for each of these, but what I'm asking is for members of the community to post their thoughts, so we can discuss the differences and come to some sort of consensus.

[Bandit|Queen]

This is just my opinion but I feel a Master/Mistress builds up a relationship with their submissive so that it goes beyond just sexual. They aren’t just interested in the submissive as a sexual object and look after all aspects of the sub, physical, emotional etc. In my opinion a Master/Mistress has to have an “owned” submissive too that is answerable to them them even if they play with others they are who the submissive reports back to.

Where as a Dom/Domme will just dominate over the sexual side and have a vanilla relationship with everything else or just use the submissive sexually and not get to know them much (that depends on real life or online etc).


(Been meaning to reply to this for ages)

[TensionRoom101]

There's no fixed answer, because D/s means so many different things to all involved. Some it's just a bit of kinky fun to brighten an otherwise dull sexlife, whereas for others being submissive is at the core of their spirituality.

From my experience there are very few truly submissive males. They invariably have a checklist of the things they want 'to be made' to do... "I want a mistress to force me to suck cock" "I want to be made to cross dress". The submissive male's fantasy almost always has a sexual element, whereas the inherent sexuality in the female submissive's demeanour is a much deeper level.

To me a good Dominant, of either gender role, should attempt to find out what brought the submissive to this place emotionally or mentally. I have encountered far too many young girls who say this lifestyle is what they want, but they're far too fucked up from past experiences to make that call. What they need is a Master who is a healer and counsellor first and foremost. Any asswipe can don a leather waistcoat, call themselves Lord X, and wave a flogger about.

Anyway, I digress. I think it's hard to have defined terminology in an indefinate arena. Many emokids describe themselves as or aspire to being slaves because it's part of their subculture, without actually understanding what's involved, and how they can be damaging themselves for their future.

And many a guy will take advantage of their willing naivety, and just contribute further to the victims' emotional rape.

Mike