I have a new job, and now I feel myself guilty because I'm interested in bdsm :/

[SilverScar]

I got a new job in a charity organization, it’s main objective is to help the victims of human trafficking, and people who were really sold into slavery. I mainly do paperwork, organizing events and that kind of stuff, so I’m not working with the victims, but it still had a huge psyhological impact on me (because for example, I had to listen for three days sound recordings about the stories of five girls who were forced to being a prostitue). Because of these, I just couldn’t log in to any bdsm site for nearly a month.

When my brain says „omg those things are terrible what happened to them” but my dick says „wow that’s hot I’m so horny” I feel myself so guilty like never ever in my life. The guiltiness-feeling for being gay is NOTHING compared to this.

Do you think it’s normal to feel that? Or am I overreacting it? I was always a little oversensitive about that guiltiness stuff :/
Any advice, thoughts? How to get over it?

[SubMissChievous]

I think that what is the most important is to never forget that there is a difference between kink and crime... That is being consensuality. Being submissive or dominant is a sexual preference and practicing BDSM is a choice to express those preferences.

Actually, the experience you may get through this job may be very helpful should you get involved in BDSM. It's just very important to be able to make a clear distinction between a consensual relationship and the abuse those crime victims suffered from :)

[Kisune Karnon]

I have to concur with Chloe here.

I think because you like BDSM, this job will help you realize what is right and wrong as well as where the line should be drawn when ever you engage in the activities. This will easily make you a better person as well as a BDSM participant.

[UrbanMale]

When my brain says „omg those things are terrible what happened to them” but my dick says „wow that’s hot I’m so horny” I feel myself so guilty like never ever in my life. The guiltiness-feeling for being gay is NOTHING compared to this.

Do you think it’s normal to feel that? Or am I overreacting it? I was always a little oversensitive about that guiltiness stuff :/
Any advice, thoughts? How to get over it?

Is it normal - yes if you are into bdsm. Don't have a guilt trip over it. As you learn more you will be able to tell the difference between real life slavery and the games bdsm players play.

[peaceful_soul]

Their is NOTHING wrong with BDSM, and you should never feel guilty about enjoying it. Period!

Human trafficing is something that is completely unethical, inhuman, and unethical. Their is no comparison.

[321tt]

I can't agree with those who say that there's a wall between bdsm (based on agreement of the participants) and rape of any kind (based of being forced to do something).

You can become "willingly" engaged in some activity to find in some time that you don't want to do that anymore but you're not allowed to go back. As well, you can be the dominant one, who might become a raper in the sense that he's unable to really distinguish if the submissive parter still wants to be engaged.

However: As far as you are concerned about some possible risks and you put yourself some reasonable rules to abide, everything is OK. But feeling guilty about the fact that you do the same things that hurt some other people is wrong. Sex is not wrong, still there are people forced to that, striptease is not wrong, still some people are forced to do that not to get kicked off the job, etc.

[JackStroff]

Do some research on the sites you are visiting make sure the girls/guys are treated well and know what they are getting themselfs into hopefully this will make you feel less guilty

[dareupyourparty]

I know it's difficult but you shouldn't feel guilty. YOU did nothing wrong!!

In fact I think it's very good that you react sensibly to listen to your feelings. I mean that you notice what's wrong (the traffickers) and what's right (your kinks and interests).

Your private interests have nothing to do with your work. Unless you can't work because it feels it disturbs your emotional balance (too horrible details etc) I recommend you stay at it.

Perhaps it goes away after you get used to your new job. Courage!

[Saphir]

"My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror."
- W. Somerset Maugham

Even tho it's a bit late, it remembered me of this. Maybe someone else (or you) can still get any reassurance from this post. ;)

There is nothing wrong about that, as long as you yourself see the difference.

Your hormones, fantasy, whatever, is abstract, it doesn't work on a logical base, which is why, even tho you would never force someone into slavery, you might like the thought (sexually).

I think important is that, as mentioned above, you don't support any kind of forced prostitution, etc. (as in the pages you visit) and yourself always take care that things are on both sides wanted.

Love