Burst
10-12-2011, 08:14 PM
A follow-up to the Messy Waiter story, predicated upon input (more x-dressing, less food waste, cheaper ingredients). Always looking for more input!
**
The economy is still slow, and you are still looking for work. The waiter gig (http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=89234) remains … weird … and, more of a problem, only occasional. So - you still need a job.
Walking through downtown you see a sign in the window of a small storefront business: “Help Wanted - Demo” The “Help Wanted” part sounded good. The “Demo” less so, but if construction and demolition is what they had, you’ll give it a shot. And - a job is a job! So you open the door and head on in...
“I’m here for the job!” you say brightly to the cute young woman behind the desk. “Seriously?” she asks. “Ok...let me tell the boss you are here and we can hopefully get you an interview. Have a seat...”
Out comes the boss, a 30-something stunner, who looks you up and down in a way that probably would have Human Resources a bit upset. She says “You’ll do” and invites you into the back office. “This job is demonstration for our line of stain cleaners and other products. You will work at supermarkets, home goods stores, and the like.” “Fine, fine...” you say, delighted that this job sounds easier than you expected. “Before you start, however, we have to put you thorough our training session,” she says. Again, this is fine with you. Head into the next room and you will find your uniform.
You walk into the next room, and find hanging on a hook, your “uniform” (roll once)
A matching bra and thong set
A sundress with pantyhose
A woman’s one-piece bathingsuit
A french maid’s uniform
A thong, miniskirt, and cropped t-shirt
A t-shirt dress over boyshort panties
“Um...there’s only women’s clothing here!” you yell out. “Get dressed or get out!” comes the response. You didn’t come here to leave empty handed, so “get dressed” it is. You put on your outfit, adjust it as best you can, and step out of the changing room to find a demo stage awaiting you for your “training.” Uh oh...
“In order to show how this works, Jen here will run you through the standard demo. We use kitchen condiments, office mishaps, outdoor issues, and the … unexpected … as the demonstration stains. Take it away, Jen.”
Jen sets you up next to the stage and starts the sales pitch. You - you’re just trying to disappear into the floor. Standing there in this ridiculous outfit is absolutely humiliating. You tune back in, however, just in time to hear Jen say “kitchen mishap.” With that, you suddenly get a bottle of (roll once) dumped over your head.
Ketchup
BBQ sauce
Hoisin sauce
Mustard
Duck sauce
A combo of ketchup and mustard
“Now that is going to stain, right ladies?” asks Jen. “But that’s nothing compared to other kitchen mishaps. We’ve all slipped and pulled something out of the fridge and spilled it on ourselves, right? Right!?” And with that, Jen pulls out from under the counter a (roll twice and re-roll for duplicates):
Dozen eggs
Stick of butter
Container of yogurt
Container of salad dressing
Jar of mayonnaise
Plate of leftovers
“When these get on your clothes, clean-up can be a real problem!” And with that, Jen turns you around, and drops the food down the back of your shorts! Unbelievable!
You turn back around to face the crowd, and you can hear the laughter growing. This is awful. You would run, but damn you need the money, so instead you hope it will just end soon.
With that, you hear Jen say “But office mishaps are even worse, right ladies? Think about the things that can go wrong at the office. For example, how many of you have ever...” (roll once)
1-2 Been covered in toner? Take a bag of flour over the head
3-4 Spilled White-out? Dump anything white and messy down your chest
5-6 Touched something sticky? A jar of white glue down the front of your pants
With that, you have now had enough. You are ready to quit when Jen says “But the great outdoors can really be the worst! Take mud...” (your choice - use mud or chocolate cake batter - either way get it nice and thick. And roll once)
1-2 Over the head
3-4 Down the back of your shorts
5-6 Down the front of your shorts
“Now - to get it clean. That’s easy! Use our miracle cleaner and your whites will be white and your colors bright! Simple take the article of clothing in question and coat it with the cleaner for thirty seconds and it is ready to wear!” With that, Jen looks at you and says “Coat it!” So, you coat the inside of your shorts with: (roll once)
Jelly
Peanut Butter
Marshmallow Fluff
Hummus
Cream Cheese
Pie Filling
and put them back on. “Now - see how well that worked! Nice and clean!”
“Nice and clean?!?” you yell, “I’m friggin’ filthy! This crap didn’t do anything!” “Yeah,” says Jen, “that’s the unexpected part...but thanks for helping me work on the ‘get dirty’ part of the pitch!”
With that, the boss tells you to clean the place up and, if you want the job, it’s yours. Your answer - “I’ll think about it...”
**
The economy is still slow, and you are still looking for work. The waiter gig (http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=89234) remains … weird … and, more of a problem, only occasional. So - you still need a job.
Walking through downtown you see a sign in the window of a small storefront business: “Help Wanted - Demo” The “Help Wanted” part sounded good. The “Demo” less so, but if construction and demolition is what they had, you’ll give it a shot. And - a job is a job! So you open the door and head on in...
“I’m here for the job!” you say brightly to the cute young woman behind the desk. “Seriously?” she asks. “Ok...let me tell the boss you are here and we can hopefully get you an interview. Have a seat...”
Out comes the boss, a 30-something stunner, who looks you up and down in a way that probably would have Human Resources a bit upset. She says “You’ll do” and invites you into the back office. “This job is demonstration for our line of stain cleaners and other products. You will work at supermarkets, home goods stores, and the like.” “Fine, fine...” you say, delighted that this job sounds easier than you expected. “Before you start, however, we have to put you thorough our training session,” she says. Again, this is fine with you. Head into the next room and you will find your uniform.
You walk into the next room, and find hanging on a hook, your “uniform” (roll once)
A matching bra and thong set
A sundress with pantyhose
A woman’s one-piece bathingsuit
A french maid’s uniform
A thong, miniskirt, and cropped t-shirt
A t-shirt dress over boyshort panties
“Um...there’s only women’s clothing here!” you yell out. “Get dressed or get out!” comes the response. You didn’t come here to leave empty handed, so “get dressed” it is. You put on your outfit, adjust it as best you can, and step out of the changing room to find a demo stage awaiting you for your “training.” Uh oh...
“In order to show how this works, Jen here will run you through the standard demo. We use kitchen condiments, office mishaps, outdoor issues, and the … unexpected … as the demonstration stains. Take it away, Jen.”
Jen sets you up next to the stage and starts the sales pitch. You - you’re just trying to disappear into the floor. Standing there in this ridiculous outfit is absolutely humiliating. You tune back in, however, just in time to hear Jen say “kitchen mishap.” With that, you suddenly get a bottle of (roll once) dumped over your head.
Ketchup
BBQ sauce
Hoisin sauce
Mustard
Duck sauce
A combo of ketchup and mustard
“Now that is going to stain, right ladies?” asks Jen. “But that’s nothing compared to other kitchen mishaps. We’ve all slipped and pulled something out of the fridge and spilled it on ourselves, right? Right!?” And with that, Jen pulls out from under the counter a (roll twice and re-roll for duplicates):
Dozen eggs
Stick of butter
Container of yogurt
Container of salad dressing
Jar of mayonnaise
Plate of leftovers
“When these get on your clothes, clean-up can be a real problem!” And with that, Jen turns you around, and drops the food down the back of your shorts! Unbelievable!
You turn back around to face the crowd, and you can hear the laughter growing. This is awful. You would run, but damn you need the money, so instead you hope it will just end soon.
With that, you hear Jen say “But office mishaps are even worse, right ladies? Think about the things that can go wrong at the office. For example, how many of you have ever...” (roll once)
1-2 Been covered in toner? Take a bag of flour over the head
3-4 Spilled White-out? Dump anything white and messy down your chest
5-6 Touched something sticky? A jar of white glue down the front of your pants
With that, you have now had enough. You are ready to quit when Jen says “But the great outdoors can really be the worst! Take mud...” (your choice - use mud or chocolate cake batter - either way get it nice and thick. And roll once)
1-2 Over the head
3-4 Down the back of your shorts
5-6 Down the front of your shorts
“Now - to get it clean. That’s easy! Use our miracle cleaner and your whites will be white and your colors bright! Simple take the article of clothing in question and coat it with the cleaner for thirty seconds and it is ready to wear!” With that, Jen looks at you and says “Coat it!” So, you coat the inside of your shorts with: (roll once)
Jelly
Peanut Butter
Marshmallow Fluff
Hummus
Cream Cheese
Pie Filling
and put them back on. “Now - see how well that worked! Nice and clean!”
“Nice and clean?!?” you yell, “I’m friggin’ filthy! This crap didn’t do anything!” “Yeah,” says Jen, “that’s the unexpected part...but thanks for helping me work on the ‘get dirty’ part of the pitch!”
With that, the boss tells you to clean the place up and, if you want the job, it’s yours. Your answer - “I’ll think about it...”