To Explain My Self

[Miss.Beatty]

I created this account only yesturday.
I only found this site yesturday.

I created a quick tread called "Im Lost In Were to GO"

I signed off and went to bed. This morning i read the three coments, and then read alot of other threads. I decided to repost, and the first thing i will do is appologize for lying yesturday. I should have never lyed in the first place, but i was desperate. I hope that you all can forgive, now let me explain myself.

I am indeed a female, and i have been punishing my husband. I know my husband very well. His behaivor in the start was very well nice. After time, his attitude changed, and became lazy.... etc etc etc.

After alot of fighting and yelling, i finaly snapped one day, and pulled him over my knee and spanked him. It shut him up real fast and i was finaly able to have a proper conversation with him. But he is one stubborn man. I went online a looked into domestic discipline, and started there. I learned real fast in what worked the best. I tried simple things and harder things. I soon relized that are relationship started to become better, he was behaving more, when he was severly spanked, and humiliated. Everytime he was punished things became better. But latley his now normal punishment doesnt work aswell as it use to be.

This is his normal punishment that he recieves. He works day shifts and i work afternoon shifts, so he gets punished at midnight always. If he does bad durring the day, he puts on a thong, or gstring of my choice, that he carries in a bag in his truck. He wears it till he gets punished. Depending on what he does, i have him soak the panties in water sometimes. When i get home, i have him strip, then i bring him to the mud outside. I have him take the mud and rub it on himself. After that he goes down on all fours, I paddle him at first, then a studded/spiked belt. He then has to lay down in the mud and masterbate using the mud as a lube. We go back inside and he has a cold shower. I then lay him accros the bed with his ass elevate and cane his ass. He then shoves an icecube up his ass, then he puts a new thong on. Thats it.

It used to be that he would be on his best behaivor for a a few weeks to almost a month, but now his behaivor is only good a for few days. Now i know this might be the wrong fourm, but i cant find any other fourm that has the coolest ideas and stuff. Up untill now i didnt even relieze there other people that do this kind of stuff. So this fourm is the last resort i have. Some people say i wear the pants, and some people say it is a d/s relationship. Either way, im in charge, he does what i tell him to do, well not so much anymore, like i said before, he only behaves for a few days now. All of it was working for so so so long. Trust me i have tried simpler things, like line, and no cuddling, kissing etc... The only true thing that has ever worked was Spankings/Humiliation/Degrading. I want this to all work out due to the fact that i love my Husband, but i need to find a new ideas to try on him. There is no limits ever. I will try absolutly everything, and i will indeed give feedback on everything that i do try. So please help. Thankyou

[Pet Phoenix]

It sounds very much to me like you and your husband have a lot going on that is undiscussed, the way you've gotten into this it would seem you have found you have a bit of a dominant side, but more specifically it sounds even moreso like your husband has very submissive tendency's with a desire to be humiliated and degraded by you. I must conclude that he desires it as quite obviously he doesn't prevent you from doing these things and his actions - the way the effects of your 'punishments' don't last - suggest that he seeks out that degradation, and the humiliation and mild pain play.

You don't need 'more severe punishments to make him obey you for longer periods of time' You need to sit down and have a damn good conversation with him about his and your feelings over all this, you need to lay it down as a dom sub relationship and take a moment to acknowledge that your both into this. Now that may be a little bit of a leap on my part, i don't know what the rest of your relations, specifically sexual ones are like.. but that's just what it sounds like... Like your husband is discovering for the first time that he likes this sort of thing. Another thing i might suggest is that you aren't punishing him... if he is 'misbehaving' to seek out these activities, and they are something he want's then giving them to him isn't much of a punishment..

In my relationship with my master (where we both approached each other as a dominant and a submissive and established limits and what we both liked etcetc) my punishments tend to be things that hurt me, and that i fear, but also that i kind of secretly enjoy.. it's a very fine line.. things that push my limits.. but they are also things that torment me, more on a mental level than a physical one.. for example if i cum when i'm not allowed then he makes me cum lots and lots which i hate.. i like a little orgasm denial but he will push me and deny my for weeks.. things like that.

You need to establish with your husband what he likes, wants, his feelings, both need to back up a step and take a look at what's going on. Couples don't generally randomnly start doing this sort of thing without some form of communication about it first. A desire shown to do this sort of thing. Something else i want to just reflect back to you.. is from your posts it doesn't actually sound like you 'enjoy' doing this? it sounds like you do it out of neccessity to try and get your husbands behavior to conform to what you want it to be?? I don't know.. that's just come out of your posts a little.

I guess that's my 10 cents on the matter anyway.. if that's the right expression. Hope that gives food for thought.

[Star Shadows]

It sounds very much to me like you and your husband have a lot going on that is undiscussed....

You don't need 'more severe punishments to make him obey you for longer periods of time' You need to sit down and have a damn good conversation with him about his and your feelings over all this, you need to lay it down as a dom sub relationship and take a moment to acknowledge that your both into this. Now that may be a little bit of a leap on my part, i don't know what the rest of your relations, specifically sexual ones are like.. but that's just what it sounds like... Like your husband is discovering for the first time that he likes this sort of thing. Another thing i might suggest is that you aren't punishing him... if he is 'misbehaving' to seek out these activities, and they are something he want's then giving them to him isn't much of a punishment..
....

You need to establish with your husband what he likes, wants, his feelings, both need to back up a step and take a look at what's going on. Couples don't generally randomnly start doing this sort of thing without some form of communication about it first. A desire shown to do this sort of thing. Something else i want to just reflect back to you.. is from your posts it doesn't actually sound like you 'enjoy' doing this? it sounds like you do it out of neccessity to try and get your husbands behavior to conform to what you want it to be?? I don't know.. that's just come out of your posts a little.


I would agree with ID your relationship would seem to be calling out for communication. It is all well and good you punishing him for x y and z, and making him do A B and C because you're on top and you can but your relationship seems to be missing communication on many levels.

Communication, in my own and many others opinion, is far more important to the dynamics of a relationship than the kink,

There are some things you may be missing out on some things that other groups know:- purely because you are married so think you know one another.

Set some time aside to talk to him. Find out his likes and limits etc, and why he is disobeying (yea you can actually ask him this instead of or as well as punishing him- there might be a strong underlying reason for it) just talk to him and keep talking to him.