★ Ask Betty and Stix - Anonymous Advice.

[BettyBoop]

Sweetsong has encouraged me to make an Agony Aunt type thread where people can anonymously ask for advice.
I felt I bit worried about whether I'd be able to do it and Stix kindly offered to be my Male POV, the Agony Uncle, if you will.

So, if you submit your questions/problem/whatever else into this form (http://www.formstack.com/forms/?1037751-vDfPxiXb5T).

Me and Stix will try our hardest to help you out and we'll post back in this thread.

http://cdn1.iconfinder.com/data/icons/cc_mono_icon_set/blacks/48x48/emotion_smile.png

[sweetsong]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gr0oVAzFitM/SOln1cbuPhI/AAAAAAAAApM/Pghcds_N7HE/s320/snoopy_happy_dance.jpg

[BettyBoop]

❝Dear Betty and Stix,

I am in love with my boyfriend and a long time friend, equally. How do I choose which one to be with?❞

Betty:

Well you say you're in love with both of them, but you need decide if the love you have for them is equal or leaning more towards one boy.
You also need to know if your long time friend likes you as much as you like him, I suggest being sure of that before making any decisions, especially if there is a chance you'd make your friendship very awkward.
This is a decision that can only be made by you, but I personally think you should go with your heart on this one and be sure you don't just love your friend as a friend.

Stix:

Perhaps the long term friend is a friend fo a reason. Tare many different types of love and sometimes it's hard to distinguish between them. If you're happy then be grateful for what you have.

[BettyBoop]

❝I met this girl on omeagle (...and I know it's a weird place to meet) but we added each other on facebook then msn swapped numbers etc. We've become good friends but I also "like" her in another way, and I think she might as well. So I keep thinking of asking her if she wants to meet up but I dont know how abouts to ask her? ...and I don't know what we could do (central London)? As well I dont know to "ask her out" before, at the beginning or at the end of the "date"?❞

Betty:

I don't know where you live but Central London sounds good, due to it being central and all. Go for a public place with lots of shops and thing to keep you occupied and so it feels more comfortable. And definitely ask at the end, you might find out she's different to who you thought she was or if you ask her out at the beginning and she doesn't know how to respond it might make the rest of the day awkward. Try to keep is casual and fun things will fit together by themselves.

Stix:

I think that you should request to meet up with her in "central london"? You should be forward, but not scare her. Put forward your request, and take things from there. If you think she likes you in the same way, then you shouldn't have a problem convincing her to go for a drink with you. After a chat with her personally, you can see what happens from then. I would wait with the "asking her out" until you have spoken with her personally.

And good luck!

[BettyBoop]

❝How many chips should I make? :/❞

Betty:

Wow, what a dilemma. I don't even know, I'm going to say more than a handful, less than a bucket full. I'm just guessing wild.

Stix:

It depends entirely on how hungry you are.

[BettyBoop]

❝im really close with my bestfriend and she i think really likes me back ... but i have a boyfriend. i dont know what to do ): is it wrong to have sex with her while im with him since were already best friends? im a girl.❞

Betty:
Regardless of the gender of the person you are having sex with without informing your boyfriend it's still cheating, even if they are your best friend. At least tell or ask him about it. In my opinion that would be the same as sleeping with another guy and if you want to sleep with other people and your boyfriend doesn't it's better you leave him then cheat on him.
At least talk about it with him and get his opinion and talk to your friend too.

Stix:

I think that it is perfectly natural to experience temptations to experiment with your sexuality. I would say that it is still wrong to have sex with her, since it would still be cheating with your boyfriend, no matter what gender she is.
You should talk to her about it, and talk to your boyfriend about it. By the sounds of things, you seem close enough to both of them to be able to handle the situation.

The best thing to do is be honest with them both, and take the time to think about it yourself.

[Slenderman - Doctor]

Thanks. I decided against chips in the end :D:p

Right, sorry, that's my thread invasion finished.

[BettyBoop]

❝I have been talking to a guy friend recently that I knew from high school. He is making it obvious that he's very interested in me, even though he knows I have a boyfriend and I have expressed to him that I'm only interested in being friends with him. He still seems excited about "hanging out" and wants to take me out to dinner or the movies, stuff one would normally do on dates.
I'm asking.. what should I do about this? I don't want to lose him as a friend... but I don't want him to think he is going to date me!❞

Betty:
I think it would be best to just tell him, in the nicest way that you really don't think of him that way and make him know for sure that you two are friends and if you go out it's just as friends. I think it's always better to be upfront rather than be unsure about situations. Make sure it's clear to him, if you still feel awkward about it maybe propose that you'll invite some other friends too, especially if he still isn't getting the hint.

Stix:

I have various friends who are girls that I take to movies and to dinner and they have their own boyfriends. I think it's possible to have really close guy friends who are you are not dating.
You should make it clear that you and your boyfriend are close, but you still respect his friendship and wish to keep it that way.

[BettyBoop]

❝I want to have sex with Leopard but he won't let me. What should I do?❞

Betty:

Well, I don't think he's rejecting you just to be mean. I thought everyone already knew but I guess not, Leo has no genitals. He just has a smooth space like a Ken doll. I think he's just a little embarrassed.

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:2yhHWjwxtDAVcM:http://knifefightingjesus.com/wp-content/uploads/ken-doll-naked5.jpg


Stix:

You might just have to face the fact that he doesn't want to have sex with you. Sadly, you can't force people to feel the way you want them to, but instead you can either move on (which will be hard, I know) or you can hope that some day he will feel the same.

[BettyBoop]

❝I'm secretly in love with BettyBoop but she's too colourful and bubbly for my eyes. Help me get her plz?❞

Betty:

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_le98aeNMBm1qzjix8.gif

Stix:

Wear sun glasses :)

[BettyBoop]

❝I met my best friend 4 to 5 years back. What can I say? We were close. Super close. 3 months ago or so we dated steady. Then one night she told me she like another guy (she hadn't cheated on me or anything). I think the experience of liking another guy but still being in a relationship with someone reminded her of her mother (her parents are divorced)and how she had moved on with another guy and she got scared of turning out like her mother. In any case she broke up with me and month later we haven't talked. I still like her. What should I do? I've been friends with her for so long and I don't want to lose her, but I don't know how to go about solving the situation.❞

Betty:

I think you should talk to her, contact her and see if you can meet up or something, you can rebuild your friendship but I don't think you should try much more. Sometimes it's better to stay friends, she might not like you in that particular way anymore but you were good friends and you shouldn't let your friendship disappear. I bet she misses you too but things happen which can make a situation uncomfortable, all it needs is for one person to make the first move to repair it and she'll probably want to herself.

Stix:

Perhaps she realised that really you were much closer as friends. Some people are just meant to be friends, and as much as you love them, a relationship may never work out. If she liked another guy as well, this might have only made her realise that you are just meant to be friends.
In any case, what has happened, has happened...I think you should talk to her, remind her of how close you used to be and how great you were as friends. She probably misses you, but doesn't know exactly how to go about talking to you again. If she is feeling like she's turning into her mother, she is probably blaming herself for the whole situation.

Talk to her, be honest with her and I'm sure things will be back to the way they used to be. These things take time, though, so be patient.

[BettyBoop]

❝I've done something REALLY stupid and dumb... I played tord with this guy on msn (I'm 16 he's 18/19) ...and in one of the games we both ended up naked (I totally regret it and will NEVER do it again). He's told me his laptop has been taken by the police (he wont tell me why) and they probabley will find out what we "did".

Am i going to get in trouble with the police?
Should I tell anyone? (Police, parents etc.)

I really don't know what to do. :/

If my parents were to find out they would KILL me. Especially if the police were involved.❞

Betty:

I know this seems very scary, but if the police do contact you at all you should probably tell your parents, or at least your Mum what happened. If anyone is going to get into serious trouble it will be the 19 year old boy, I'm guessing he's already done something wrong seeing as the police have got his laptop. I think the most that will happen is you may be questioned on whether or not he knew how old you were and other events of the conversation and it's best to just tell the truth. Try not to worry too much about it, they might not question you at all.
Stix:

It depends entirely what country you're in as to whether you'll get in trouble, although the legal age for sex is 16, the legal age for nudity online is 18.

Did you tell him how old you were? Did he still agree to play TORD with you even knowing you might be under age?
I think if anyone is going to get in trouble, it will be him for being paedophilic. However, you may still get questioned by the police, or your parents, in which case, you need to be honest. Lying about the situation will only make matters worse, no matter how well you think you've covered your tracks.

[BettyBoop]

❝I really like my step-brother. He's so handsome and stuff. The problem is that I have a boyfriend, as this is anonymous, let's call him Liam. What do I do?❞

Betty:

Go away Pingu. I don't fancy my brother. http://serve.mysmiley.net/mad/mad0070.gif

Stix:

I think you should be grateful that you have a loving boyfriend. Stick with what is safe.

[BettyBoop]

❝I reently kind of nearly a bit (:/) got into a relationship. It's mainly online, we met on getdare :P. He's dominant, I'm a sub. He likes to both punish and reward me. The problem is, one of his main rewards is fantastic orgasms to his other subs. But I'm a very strange person, and I don't want to orgasm. I never had, I'm a virgin and I don't ant to till I have sex. So any other good rewards? Should I just orgasm?

PS I think this is a fantastic idea ❞

Betty:

I don't know much about the life of a sub, but maybe you should just tell your master and then he can reward you with other things. You definitely shouldn't if you don't want to.

And it was Sweet's idea, so yay sweetsong.

Stix:

You can thank sweetsong for the idea!

And as for your question? I think it is best to talk to your dominant, and tell him what you just said. There are plenty other alternatives for rewards.
If you don't want to orgasm, then that's your choice entirely, and he should respect that. I'm sure you can come up with a great alternative, even if it is something simple like not being allowed to eat your favourite food until you've earned it.

I'm not expert, but I'm sure you can think of something with him

[BettyBoop]

❝A mod called BettyBoop keeps stuffing up the completed stories section. It's making me very very sad and self harm by hitting my head against the wall. What should I do to this user?!❞

Betty:
It was one thread in which all the comments hadn't been deleted. There were about four billion of them. But I think it's done now. http://serve.mysmiley.net/japanese/jap7.gif

Stix:

I think it's incredibly unfair of you to be naming individuals. Lets keep this thread anonymous please.

[BettyBoop]

❝I don't like Vaginas. I think they are gross. Is that wrong even though I prefer a GF over a BF? PS: I am a male.❞

Betty:

I'm assuming you mean you find their appearance a little gross, and to be honest that's fine. Not everyone finds genitalia incredibly attractive. If you find them gross to the point where you can't go near them, that could be a problem if you want a girlfriend.

Stix:

It's ok to think that a body part is gross. Even if it is a sexual organ. Many people have fetishes for body parts which other's may not feel any attraction to. Of course, it is still possible to love a girl for who they are without being attracted to their sexual parts.
There is nothing "wrong" with you, there is nothing "wrong" with the fact you find vaginas gross. It's perfectly natural, and I'm sure if you asked around (though I wouldn't recommend it) there would be other people who share the same feelings.

[BettyBoop]

❝Dear Betty and Stix.
You may not be able to help with this, but maybe you can point me in the right direction. Right. Thing is, my boyfriend can only come during sex and when I touch him. He has never been able to do it alone and, neither of us knows why.❞

Betty:

I'm not sure I'm going to be any help here but maybe you could try masturbating together (mutual masturbation?). That way he'll be doing it himself, but you'll be doing it together, hopefully that will be at least a step in the right direction. I hope that makes sense.

Stix:

Perhaps that he finds it hard to become aroused on his own? I'm not entirely sure what the best solution is, or what to suggest, but perhaps you could experiment by doing things over the phone, over webcam, and see if that makes a difference from when he's actually "on his own".

Sorry if that's not much help

[BettyBoop]

❝I worry, a lot, especially on here, that people don't actually like me.... they say they do, but it's hard to tell if they're being genuine. In real life I know they don't and I can deal with it.... but here.... I'm not sure.❞

Betty:

If you can deal with people in real life who you aren't friendly with than you should care even less about those online, though I understand how annoying fake people can be. You should stick to talking to those who you like and who seem genuine to you. If you doubt someone's honesty and you think it's better for you to stop talking to them then you shouldn't hesitate to. I think it becomes tiring to worry about whether or not people on the internet like you or not, just be yourself and I'm sure you'll make plenty of friends.

Stix:

I've learnt not to care what people think of me, whether they're being genuine or not. I used to question whether people enjoyed spending time with me, and my life was miserable. Once I started taking life at face value, and really looking at the bigger picture, I became much more content with myself.

Without trying to sound harsh, if you stop questioning what people think of you, and start being yourself regardless of what people think of you, you'll be so much happier.

[BettyBoop]

❝I have many sad things going on in my life. It's too long for me to type here but should I keep pretending to be happy? Then no one will know and it'll all be good when everything is over. But something feels not quite right...❞

Betty:

I don't think pretending to be happy is going to help you at all because you aren't. You should probably try deal with the things that are making you unhappy. If you are feeling really down try to talking to someone close to you like a best friend or family member. Hiding the way you feel won't make you feel it any less.

Stix:

I think you should just be honest, and be yourself. If you are sad, don't make a big song and dance about it, but if someone asks you if you want tot talk about it, and you really do, then don't hesitate to let it all out.

You shouldn't pretend to be happy if you're not. Nor should you be so unhappy that you're depressed and can't control your emotions.

Find the balance, and let your emotions happen. Trying to stop yourself from feeling true emotions is never a good idea

[BettyBoop]

❝Dear Betty and Stix

I have always thought of my best friend as just that, but recently he has been making a move on me. I don't know what to do :S
I am a guy btw.❞

Betty:

Well, it depends on whether you'd want to be more than friends or you don't want to cross that line. This is a bit difficult to answer without really knowing how you feel about the situation. I'd say if you're not okay with it, wait until you are really sure he's "making a move" and then simply tell him you're not interested. You need to be sure about what signals he's sending though as you might offend him if you call him out on it and it was all just a bit of confusion.

Stix:

I think you should talk to him. If you're feeling uncomfortable, you should let him know. If you're best friends, then there is no doubt he'll understand whatever you're feeling.

If you just be honest with him, I'm sure you can work things out.

[BettyBoop]

❝I have a friend I can not stand. She's rude and annoying. I don't want her as a friend anymore, but I don't want it to turn nasty. We share the same friends, what do I do?❞

Betty:

Sharing the same friendship group with a person you can't stand can be really difficult and you may unfortunately have to be around that person occasionally. I have a girl who's friends with friends of mine who I don't particularly care for but if we are out in a group I find it quite easy to simply ignore her. Though that's just me and the situation may be different for you. I would recommend that, if you are comfortable enough with it, you should tell her the way she's behaving is annoying and you think she's being rude. If you don't want to confront her then just avoid her as much as you can.
If you find it a bit scary to say it to her face to face, you could always send a message online if that's easier.
It shouldn't turn nasty if it's handled maturely on both sides (:

Stix:

I think the best thing to do is to just avoid her. Do your best to stay away from them, but don't make a big deal out of it. If she does end up annoying you, or being rude to you, just walk away. Don't let it bother you. By the sounds she's not worth your time or effort. If she confronts you about it, then just be honest with her. Tell her you find her annoying, and at times rude, but you didn't want things to turn nasty.

Hopefully she'll understand and be reasonable about it. I hope that helped

[BettyBoop]

❝I'm recording music at the moment... would you say auto-tuning is an abomination?❞

Betty:

I've never had a big problem with auto-tuning when it's not completely robot-sounding and very obvious. I've never had much experience with it when recording music to be honest , but if it's necessary then I don't see why not (:

Stix:

Well, I've never used auto tune, but that's because I know some people who are incredible singers. I think if it sounds good with an auto tune, then you might as well go for it!

My rule is, if it sounds good, do it. I've sometimes used random bits of metal on my drum kit, I've made a cymbal that is nearly cut in half, but it sounds good...so I use it!

Just do what you want I guess

[BettyBoop]

❝I'm really scared of guys. I go to an all girls school but there is an all guys school right near and they are idiots. I'm so scared of them and they always tease me because I'm an loner or something? And I'm too scared to do anything about it as I'm so shy and i dont want to make a big deal out of it... What to do? Help!❞

Betty:

A lot of boys act really stupid, but it's highly unlikely they are ever going to do anything that you need to be afraid about. They are probably picking on you because you seem shy and are an easy target, if you act confident and ignore their immaturity they may get bored with targeting you specifically. Don't let them make you afraid of all guys, they just sound like bad eggs to me.

Stix:

Ok...so I'll be the first one to admit that a lot of guys are idiots. It's just how we are, and we annoy girls, and we wind you up, and we tease you, and I can't apologise for the whole gender, but if I could, I would.

Most guys don't know when to stop. I often tease my friends (who are girls), and they tease me back, but I know when to stop. I know when not to even think about teasing them. Perhaps they're simply just not mature enough to realise that it is really getting to you. I know you said you're shy, but the best thing to do in a situation would be to confront them. Tell them that it's upsetting you, let them know that they're making you feel this way.

But...alas, we're not all like that. There are a fair few really nice, decent guys. And when you find us, you'll love us to bits! It just takes time. Be patient, you'll find a guy who you can love and respect.

[BettyBoop]

❝This is similar to my post in your thread about secrets. My brother is taking sleeping pills because his nights are haunted by his best friend who took his life last year, my 'friends' hate me, I dissapoint my parents, I cry myself to sleep. I fell like I have no one to turn to.❞

Betty:

You seem really down so I think firstly, you should stop trying to worry about other people so much when so many other things are getting you down. You are going to overload yourself with stress. If you think your friends hate you then I'm sure you could do with some better friends, try and make some new ones if the ones you are with make you unhappy. I'm pretty sure every teenagers has disappointed their parents at some point in their lives, if you are really worried about it, talk to them. Your parents love you and maybe they don't realise all the stuff that's affecting you, try dealing with the things that are making you upset and hopefully you'll stop having to cry yourself to sleep.
If you want, you can send me a private message and we can talk anytime :)

Stix:

Well, I know this is anonymous, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'd be more than happy to listen.

It's sad to hear that you're going through tough times, but things will always get better. No matter how hard things get, there's always a way out, and it usually comes when you're least expecting it. No matter how much you think they don't, there is always someone who cares about you, and it's sometimes the person you least expect.

Life is like a long road, sometimes you accidentally go the wrong way, but the first thing you do when that happens is either turn around, or find a different route to get where you're going. You'll always find your way back, no matter how long it takes. Sometimes you have to ask for directions, sometimes you go completely the wrong way before you realise where you went wrong.

I know it's a cheesy metaphor, but it's certainly helped me when I've been feeling down.

[BettyBoop]

❝What do you do when you think you've gone off of sex? When doing anything other than kissing and cuddling makes you feel so damn nervous and makes you want to run away? I used to be fine with sex and touching and whatever and now I think I've regressed...❞

Betty:

If it making you nervous then maybe you should talk to your partner about it and he/she can help you feel more comfortable. But you don't have to have sex if you don't want to, you can wait until you feel comfortable with it again or take it slowly and try other things. If it really is making you want to run away try and figure out why that is and solve it. (:

Stix:

I think that perhaps you need to sit your partner down and talk to him/her. I'm not exactly an expert on this subject, but I could suggest making a big thing out of having sex, just for one night, and maybe see if it brings the spark back? Have a meal for two, make it incredibly romantic?

Perhaps you should maybe just steer clear of "sex and touching". Give it time until you're comfortable again.

Just a few suggestions, but either way, I think it's important to talk to your partner.

[BettyBoop]

❝I've been good friends with this guy (let's call him Jake) for a long time now, and we get on really well. Jake's really funny, but one of the things he likes to joke about is that we're gay together.. (I'm a guy). Nothing too serious, he'll just put on an act and laugh about it as he makes really dirty innuendos and touch my thigh and stuff...

Lately, though, I've started to think about him more and more *that* way... And now it's like I can't get Jake out of my head, and I can't stop noticing just how good he looks. And I can't help it, but now every time he does the 'gay act' around me I start to blush like crazy or go really stiff or (what must look inexplicably) just get infuriatingly annoyed at him. I'm sure he must have noticed the change, but I don't know what to tell him... Do I ask him to stop with the goofing around? Do I confess my feelings for him? Is there a chance *gulp* that he gives me so much attention like that.. because he likes me back?

I don't know what to do, and it's driving me crazy here. Please help =(❞

Betty:

It depends on whether or not you are willing to take the risk and confess your feeling. I know a lot of teenage boys who act that way and are really just joking, so if you are unsure to how he'd react just be sure that he likes you that way and he really isn't just messing about. Though it's possible he may be subtly flirting with you, I obviously don't know him well enough to make that judgement. You also don't mention if Jake is gay or not? Though if it is making you uncomfortable and you don't really want to bring it up, you could use your body language to express that you're uncomfortable with it or tell him in a jokey kind of way. Just move his hands if he's touching you and lean away ect.


Stix:

I think that because you're best friends, you should be able to talk to him about anything. I know that I can tell my best friend anything without being judged or mocked.

If you sit him down, and talk to him about it, I'm sure he'll be very understanding.

Although think carefully before you do, because sometimes what you think is more than friendship can actually turn out to be just friendship of the 3rd kind! Take your time, be patient, and I'm sure you'll know what to do.

[BettyBoop]

❝I want to wax my pubic hair but how much will it hurt?❞

Betty:

From my personal experience, it's definitely worth it to wax anywhere on your body rather than shave. I won't lie and say it doesn't hurt, it does, but it won't hurt for ever and I'd definitely recommend it, it last longer because it removed the hair follicle from the root (not as painful as it sounds) and is quicker to do.
It does seem a bit scary though, and if you are okay with it, you could get it done professionally. Or if you have a very close friend?

Stix:

I can honestly say I've never done it....so maybe I'm not the best person to ask.

Sorry.

[BettyBoop]

I like a girl very much, but I'm quite shy.

We've been naked in bed together, but we haven't really taken it as far as sex. I want to though, how can I best approach this?

Betty:

I would say you should talk to her about it, just make sure that she's ready. It's easier to know for sure and it'll relieve you of the worry and hopefully make you less nervous. And when you say you've been naked in bed together, I'm still not really getting if you've done stuff before, if you haven't try to go step by step. Slow and steady wins the race.
Good luck.

Stix:

I think you should be confident, but not daunting or overwhelming. You should let her know how you feel, but slowly. You should talk to her, and if you know that she feels the same way, you should make a move.

If, however, she sees you as just friends, it might be hard for her to feel "that way" towards you. Just talk to her, and be confident.

[BettyBoop]

I'm 5'7(almost 5'8) and 121 pounds...
How much weight do you think I could lose and it still be technically "healthy?"

Betty:

To be honest I don't think you need to lose any weight you seem to be quite close to being underweight. If you feel you want to improve your body you could try toning up? I wouldn't recommend losing any weight looking at your stats.

Stix:

It depends if you're male or female, I don't think you should be losing any weight at all. For someone who is 5'8" (female) with a small frame, you're looking to be about 126-139lbs, a medium frame is 136-150lbs, and a large frame is 146-167lbs. You shouldn't be losing any weight.

Perhaps you just need to tone your muscles? But you certainly don't need to lose any weight

[BettyBoop]

❝I can't shake the feeling that I won't ever get married because I've had sex before. It's not exactly something I entirely regret, I know sometimes it was a mistake and misjudged, but with my last boyfriend, it was out of love. Anyways, Obviously I'm not a virgin.. I feel like guys can see right through me and think "She's already been used, it's like used trash", "sloppy seconds".

I hate that feeling... But obviously it's not something I can ever change. Does it make me a bad person that I'm not a virgin?❞

Betty:

No, no, no, no, NO! It does not in any way make you a bad person. So many people in this day and age are getting married who aren't virgins, that in no way makes you "trash". A person isn't how many people they've slept with, you're more than that. If that's all someone cares about in you then you can do better. I'm sure you are a lovely person with a great personality, not being a virgin doesn't make you any less awesome.

Stix:

I don't think that not being a virgin makes you a bad person at all. Having sex, or not having sex does not change who you are at all.
I think you're extremely self concious, and you worry a lot about what people think of you. Trust me what I say this...People don't care as much as you think they do.

You seem like a lovely girl, and eventually you will meet the right man who will love you whether you've had sex or not. I certainly don't care whether a girl has had sex or not, it doesn't even cross my mind.

Maybe you get attention from the "wrong" sort of crowd. You don't want to be hanging around the boys that see you as "used trash".

I hope that helps

[BettyBoop]

❝I am a size 10 in uk sizes, but i look at myself and still think that I look fat. i have a muffin top and stuff, and its just eww and i feel fat, is this normal❞

Betty:

Being a size 10 definitely doesn't make you fat, not looking like models, celebrities or girls in magazines does not make you fat. I think size 10 is a lovely size, however, if you really find you have issues with your body you could always do something about it. Try exercising, not excessively, I don't think you need to but fun things like dancing about in your bedroom or going swimming.
But I'll say again, there is nothing wrong with your body and you aren't fat

Stix:

You're definitely not fat. I know it's hard to have a good self image situation, especially with the magazines, and the beautiful celebrities, but you need to realise that you are beautiful.

Everyone has things they don't like about their body, and often it's things that you can't change. At size 10, you certainly aren't fat.

Learn to love yourself for who you are, and you'll find that others will love you for who you are as well.

[BettyBoop]

❝ok so, basically I've been in love with one of my best guy friends for a long time (i'm a girl). My best girl friend and i talk about it all the time and she knows him too, but sometimes she makes comments that make me think that she likes him. she says that he's hot or talks about his characteristics and stuff and it makes me feel really uncomfortable because i thought that out of all people she would know how much i adore him and she'd back off. i've tried confronting her by making a joke out of it and she usually comes back with a sarcastic comment like, "yeah i'm totally in love with him" but is she really joking? I would usually talk about this with one of my friends but I don't want them to think badly of me for doubting my own best friend.please help!❞

Betty:

You should probably try confronting her in a less jokey way, she's your best friend, I'm sure she'll understand if you just outright ask if she likes him. If she says no, then just say you wanted to be sure and then change the subject. If she's your best friend I'm sure she won't get mad, if anything she'll really try to make you feel sure that she doesn't like him.
I also think you should ask him out seeing as you like him so much, also if you're a couple I'm sure your friend will take the hint.

Stix:

Perhaps she is trying to show you that if you don't let him know how you feel about him, someone may well snap him up and he may never feel the same way about you. Maybe she just likes winding you up.

Whatever the situation is, I think you need to talk to both of them. You need to sit down with you best girl friend, and tell her how much he really means to you, and that you do get upset when she makes jokes. If she makes a sarcastic comment, tell her that you're being serious, and you want her to take you seriously.

As for talking to the boy? Well, I'm not expert on how girls get boys attention, perhaps Betty would be a much better person for advice on this subject, but I think that's it a good idea for him to know how you feel.

[BettyBoop]

❝if you had a crush w/ someone that last for more than a year
do you think it's love?
Betty:

Crushes can seem like love, but if you did love him I don't think you'd have to ask us what we think. You say you have a crush on him, but you don't seem to be a couple or friends. I think it's hard to say you love someone who you admire from afar.
If you've had a crush on him for so long maybe it's time to say Hi and get to know him.

Stix:

Well, I have never experienced love, so I wouldn't know. I'm afraid, but I do know that it's possible to have a crush for a long time, as I have experienced that.

I had a crush on someone for well over a year, and I also know that it wasn't love.

All I can say is that I assume you'll know when it's love

[BettyBoop]

❝hey I'm a girl, and I have a boyfriend. My boyfriend loves it when I blowjob him, is it okay or normal if I do it? even though we aren't married yet? Thanks.

Betty:

It is completely up to you whether you do it or not. And you don't have to do it just because your boyfriend wants you to, if you feel uncomfortable with it or you feel like it's against what you believe in then don't think for a second that you don't have a choice. If your boyfriend can't deal with that then you can do better.

Stix:

I think it's perfectly reasonable and normal to have sexual activity with your boyfriend, whether you're married or not. However, if you don't feel ready to, or you don't think you should be doing it, then talk to him, and explain that you're not comfortable. I'm sure he will be understanding and respectful.

I hope this helps

[BettyBoop]

❝Anymore I feel like no one cares about me, like no one would care if I just disappeared one day. Friends/family expect me to listen to their problems, but when I have a problem it's "suck it up". I just don't know what to do anymore.

Also I'm not thinking suicide, that's something I would never do.

Betty:

You should talk to your friends and family about it, it's possible that they just aren't realising how they are coming across when you need their help. Talking to people about the issues you have is always the best way to go, you can figure out what they are thinking and they can give you the support you need. I'm sure your friends and family care about you, they may just have issues showing it. If you tell them and they continue doing it, maybe you could tell your parents you'd like to talk to a professional about how you feel.

Stix:

It makes me so sad when people feel like there is no one out there that cares. Believe me when I say that there is someone out there somewhere out there that cares. You might have to look for them, but there is someone.

When you find the person that truly cares about you, the person who will listen to you no matter what you're going through, and support you no matter how rough you feel, you will realise how much you life really means.

If someone doesn't want to listen to your problems, and offer constructive advice, then it's probably not a good idea to talk to them, no matter how much you think they should support you.

I hope that helps, and I hope you realise that people really do care about you
:)

[BettyBoop]

❝I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs...phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I sometimes stay awake to look out for her cab coming home, but she always comes walking up the drive as I hear the sound of a car leaving, around the corner, as if she has gotten out and walked the rest of the way. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi at all?

I once picked up her cell phone, just to see what time it was. This caused her to go completely berserk. She quickly snatched the phone out of my hand and cursed me hysterically, screaming that I should never touch her personal property, then accused me of trying to spy on her.

Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson Lowrider next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the street around the corner when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my motorcycle that I noticed a small amount of motor oil leaking through the gasket between the rear head and rocker arm cover.

So...is this something I can easily repair myself or do you think I should take it back to the dealer, yo?❞

Betty:

This would be hilarious if I hadn't read this joke before.

Stix:

I think you should probably try to sort things out with your wife before you worry about your bike...

[cardiac]

i am a guy age 42
i have a gay male friend
he has been hitting on me
kind of in a joking way bat also in a serious way
he has invited me over tonight to watch a movie.
i have never been with a man,but have like most guys thought about it
should i or shouldnt i

[BettyBoop]

❝What is the best way of learning a foreign language without attending lessons/moving to the country etc❞

Betty:

Obviously, the two things you don't want to do are the ones that would help you learn the language the quickest and the easiest. However, there are other options. You can take lessons without actually having to attend them, I think you can buy video lessons, audio lessons and online lessons. I would recommend something that is there to teach a language specifically but while doing that listening to music in that language or watching films in it could help.
Also, I'm sure there are textbooks you can purchase which are helpful.

Stix:

Watch films in that language, listen to music in that language, and learn as much vocabulary as possible. Once you've learnt the vocab, you should be able to start thinking in that language. Whenever you say something in english, imagine what it would be in the other language. And be patient, learning a foreign language takes time, and lots of it.

That's the only tip I can give you, but I think it should be successful.

[BettyBoop]

❝I'm getting addicted to Rio mints and I can't stop consuming them... I go through about a pack a day, and not only is this annoying, it's also killing my allowance. But i can't just stop buying them. I feel as if i NEED them... Is there anything I can do to stop this?❞

Betty:

If they aren't causing issues with your health, I'm not sure what the huge issue is. I'm sure you can physically stop eating them, you just need to think about why you don't want to keep eating them before you buy them to stop yourself.

Stix:

Cut them out bit by bit. Go down to 3/4 of a pack a day, then half a pack, then 1/4.

It's like any addiction, if you try to cut it out all at once, you'll just realise how much you miss it.

I hope that helps

[BettyBoop]

❝what is all the ways you can get banned so i know not to do anything wrong.❞

Betty:

Read the rules - Clickity. (http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=29358)
Check the Ban List for reasons other people have been banned - Clickity. (http://www.getdare.com/bbs/misc.php?do=banlist)

Stix:

http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=29350

Ta-da

[BettyBoop]

❝how do i get my bf to hold my hand?❞

Betty:

You should just hold his. He's your boyfriend, not a stranger (:

Stix:

Hold his :)

[BettyBoop]

❝Dear Betty and Stixy,

There was a time when I liked this guy a lot. A year later, we actually became friends. As in, before that we barely ever talked. A few months later, he admitted that he really likes me and how wants a relationship with me. It was THEN when I realized that I was over him. Now, the situation is that he loves me a lot and I do not reciprocate those feelings. I'm not addicted to him, like he is to me. He gets sad when I switch my phone off for an hour. He THINKS I still like him, but I do not. And I think telling him how I feel would hurt him a lot. But I don't like how he believes something that's not true. Please help. Thanks in advance.❞

Betty:

Stringing him along is going to end up hurting him a lot more than you making it clear to him asap that you don't feel for him the way he does for you. You should just tell him or he's going to feel worse.

Stix:

I think you just need to tell him that your feelings for him have changed, and that you just see him as a friend now.

If you're honest with him, and to the point, there's no way he can take what you said and twist it in his head. If you're forward with him, but not rude or harsh, then things will be ok in the long run.

They might be a bit sour after the first, because if he does still like you in that way, he will need time, but I think that long term you'll be great friends

[BettyBoop]

❝Dear Betty and Stix,

I started going out with this guy and he's really great but I just don't find him physically attractive. I don't know if I ever will.

Do I just wait and see if it comes or stop seeing him before he gets too many feelings for me?❞

Betty:

Though personality is most important, it's probably just going to cause problems in a relationship if you do not find your partner attractive. If you truly don't think you'll be able to and you think it's going to be a big issue for you then you just break it off now before his feelings for you get any stronger.

Stix:

I think that although looks aren't as important as personality, it is still important for you to find your partner attractive.

Although you do not find him attractive as yet, I know that you can see people differently after spending time with them, but if you don't think you will ever find him physically attractive then maybe it's best to just be friends.

It's a tough question, because I'd love to be able to say "It's what's on the inside that counts", which to a certain extent is true, but its important to find your partner physically attractive

[BettyBoop]

❝So I was wondering, how long should it normally take for a guy to cum during sex? I mean I havent had sex a lot, but both times I've cummed very fast, the girls didnt seem to care, but I just know I should last longer. With a girl I've cum in about 10 seconds every time, and by myself i dont take much more than a minute. is this normal? how can i improve it?❞

Betty:

I'm going to let Stix take this one because I just don't know, sorry.


Stix:

Everyone is different. Some people take longer than others. One thing is for sure, it's definitely not offensive to ejactulate early, if anything...you're showing how attracted you are to her!

That is my opinion, as for advice....I would say that you should try to find other ways to pleasure her too. If the sex doesn't last long, make up for it in "other areas".

[BettyBoop]

❝Hello,
I have cone to the realization that I am bi and pretty much gay. I am attracted to boys and not to girls at all. But there is this one girl, who I have a crush on, not for her looks but for her personality. I cannot directly tell if this is a feeling of love or just of extreme respect. I do get the nervous feelings that I have got around crushes in the past while around her. Only recently we started talking and she said I should sit next to her in class, I feel really nervous to.
My questions are: is it love if I have no sexual desire towards her apart from the want to nurture her?
And should I sit next to her and talk more?❞


Betty:

If you don't know how you feel about her just spend more time with her. You seem to like being around her so for now does it really matter how you like her? You might like her as a friend or something more and maybe that's just something that's going to take you some time to figure out. You could be nervous just because you want her to like you as a friend or because you want her to like you as more.
I suggest spending time with her if you like her in any way and seeing where it goes from there.

Good Luck :)


Stix:

Sexual desires sometimes take time to develop. I know that I have sometimes had upmost respect for a friend, and then when the relationship turns into something more, sexual desires start to occur.

You should talk to her more, get to know her more, and if it feels right, be a little bit flirty with her. If she flirts back, there's a chance that sexual desires may start to develop. Don't be too obvious, but what have you got to lose?

The fact that you want to nurture her shows that you care a lot about her. So care for her! If nothing happens sexually, you can still nurture her and be there for her.

Hope this helps your situation