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View Full Version : The Worst Week Of My Young Life! [FICTION]


Can'texplain37115:)
10-19-2007, 06:02 AM
Thing is my first post so hope you enjoy! Wont continue if no comments.



Ding,Ding! We jist got out of school for our week off!This is my first post so tell me if it any good! Thx! Wont keep writing unless I get comments!

“Hey!” I turned to see the popular Ally walking towards me. “Hey!” I spoke trying to sound casual. “My friend’s and I are going to my house for my party, you want to come?” Oh my god. The most beautiful girl in school is asking me to a party at her very own house! “Sure” I said “Great, here’s the address” She took out a sparkly blue pen and wrote it down on my arm.
When I arrived it was a beautiful house. “Here’s the present” I spoke. “Right” she said. All her friends’ laughed.
Later on she said Photos anyone? Ok I said volunteering. Ok well strip. “Huh?” I said. Come on the entire popular do it. “Well...” I said. “I will give you a kiss!” That’s all I needed to hear. I grabbed my pants and pulled them down and took off my shirt. And the pants! She said sing songy. “No way!” RIP! AHH! “My pants!” “Don’t worry she said. Now put a blindfold and take this pill. I took the pill ands suddenly felt numb. They place the blindfold. Cacha! Cacha! They were positing me I think.

PArt Three:
Suddenly I woke up. I looked up to see all the popular people crowding away the Plasma. “Well look who’s up! It’s the slave!” “Slave?” I asked. “Yes if you know what is good for you!” “No way!” “Then I guess we can show this stack of photos to anyone who knows you including your mom and dad!” She handed me a stack of photos. One of the boys, Jake knew how to take add stuff to the photos and take stuff away so he replace the blindfold with my eyes and had me posing nude in sexy ways. “Fine!” I said. “Come on said one of the boys and I followed obediently.

slave_boy
10-19-2007, 07:59 AM
interested now please finish

anayguy
10-19-2007, 10:25 AM
interesting please finish

Can'texplain37115:)
10-19-2007, 10:52 AM
If anyone have suggestions plz tell

Can'texplain37115:)
10-19-2007, 10:53 AM
I need at least 5 comments to continue the srory tho. Cause why should i write for none at all?

grab_my_underware
10-19-2007, 11:29 AM
please keep going on, i like stories like this
usually i would eat some pop corn and read these

Jack18
10-19-2007, 12:59 PM
I'm interested in the continuation of this story.


And just because someone does not leave comments does not mean they are not reading it.

Also try using some better grammar to make it more readable.

DareByrd
10-19-2007, 06:20 PM
awesome story man keep it up

zeketheorc
10-20-2007, 09:50 AM
I am interested, but could you change the layout to make it easier to read? I got very confused who was talking and when due to some quotes being used and not used. It would make it very simple if you would more separate by lines like:
the popular girl came up to me and asked, "would you like to come to my party?"

being struck by surprise from one of the hottest and most popular girls inviting me to a party, the only way I could think of replying was, "sure I would love to"

this way it makes everything much more clear and easier to follow the story.

admireu4ever
10-21-2007, 12:26 AM
I love this story...for some wierd reason I got these shivers...like I was that kid...please continue...please...please...please.

Can'texplain37115:)
10-22-2007, 05:19 PM
I was taken into a dark room which is where i had to sleep on a bed of nails with only a thin quilt. I got a riddle befor e i got to be that read
Hey new slave glad your here tomorrow it will be worse then sucking your grandma's ear! I shuddered. Oh well. My Pajamas were kids with little footies that went up in the wrong places. ( the pajamas not the feet! LOL) When i awoke in the morning (i was up 600 times last night) i was blindfolded and brought into a car. (SORRY! I know that is used a lot in story's but only thing i can think of!) and b rought to a noisy place. I was then placed in a wheelchair and automatically knew where i was. My mistress spoke to the elderly person pushing me "Do you mind if i handcuff him, he tends to run away with the trouble he's been havig?" She replyed in her southern accent " Why notn at all deary, you measn with all that horrible little butt pain?" "Oh thank you, yes he has stripped and stuck tons of things in his butt to stop the pain such as-
HAVE TO Stop write more soon!

admireu4ever
10-23-2007, 07:12 PM
Please Continue..I really like it.

molten man
10-25-2007, 10:05 PM
The ending was excititng!! Please write more!!

Can'texplain37115:)
10-26-2007, 12:33 PM
Such as wooden spoons shower heads and tips of bvrooms and so much more. I knew we nedded help." She started to pretend to cry but made it look so real i almost started to believe her before i snapped back to my sences. Then i thought i wuldnt be in this mess if it wasnt for my stuipid sences. The woman with the accent said "lets check him into a room" I was put into a room and got a HUMOGUNGOUS butt plug and crammed it in thewre. Then after six hours a hairy man in short shorts and a surfer shirt(so it was super tight) walked in and made the joke "butt pains are a pain in the butt" and laughed at his "humorous joke" and said bend over. So i in my night gown that already fully exposed myself bent over. He then grabbed his hand and started stroking softly my butt and said "oooooooh what a might fine baby"

Can'texplain37115:)
10-26-2007, 12:33 PM
Is it getting worse? Plz make suggestions

admireu4ever
10-27-2007, 08:56 PM
I love this story but you need to work on your spelling and please try to make the story longer.