Have you seen....

[cara.loverin1989]

Okay, not sure if this is the right place for this, but have you seen the recent adds put out in the Slave/Master area? Most of the ones that I have read are all a sentence or two long! I just don't understand it. I would think if a person is genuine and really wants a master or slave that they would put a little more effort into their adds. Don't you? Why do they do that? I just dont get it.

In my mind a good add = dedication to your search for the relationship! Is it just me? What do you look for? What makes you wish to contact someone?
Am I just crazy?
-Cara

[Midnight]

You're not crazy. Some time ago, I completely lost it with the lack of ingenuity in ads (see my post "The Ads of Today"). Some people are just under the impression that people will flock to them because they've posted.

I know that when I look (and sometimes just for fun), I read into your ad. If it's well written, I will be able to tell (for the most part) what kind of person you are in general. That's my first indication. If I think I can get along with you in a normal conversation, then maybe it's worth pursuing.

You are definitely not crazy in the least. Some of us have common sense when we are looking for something and others just want that quick fix and don't think about it.

[llama]

Submissives:
You can be sure that most (if not all) who post such a short ad are only looking to get off a few times and then cease all contact with the dom. Essentially, what they're looking for is someone who will only give them masturbation dares that cater to their likes.

Dominants:
You can be sure that most (if not all) who post such a short ad (or response) are only looking to get off and then string along a sub as long as they can so they can continue to get off. This is because they are extremely desperate and will take any sub they can get. Essentially, what they're looking for is someone who will do anything that caters to any one of their likes (sometimes not even this is looked for) because they are so desperate.


These people are hormonally-driven and have no self-control. They run on pleasure, not common sense or logic. They are not serious about a D/S relationship and they overrun the boards in swarms. I would assume that a good chunk of these users are also underage. Just my 2¢.

[Ribbit101]

Every serious person will at least compare their own ad to the others on the front page... If their ad is sub-par, just shows that they lack commitment.

There's a commonly-cited sticky that should be readon the subject.

[cara.loverin1989]

Thank you for all of your comments. I agree with you all. Your add reflectes how serious you are in your search. Well, at leat they are telling us they arnt worth our time this was, however sad.
-Cara

[Night-1991]

Cara, i saw the advert you posted in not too long ago. And it inspired me to create this thread http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=50090

[cara.loverin1989]

Awww. I feel so honored! Yeah, that seems like a good idea to me. I just wish people would read the help threads. So sad......

[Ch3rry B0mb]

I'm not so sure that it helps to have a well-written ad, either. I'm sure most of you have seen at least my most recent ad:

Cherry's Ad (http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=50019)

The responses that I've received are extremely laughable, for the most part. While there were a few (and I do mean -few-) rather intelligently written responses, I still had to sift through a proverbial 'shit ton' of crappy ass responses. Those few who did respond intelligently were contacted but our needs/wants did not mesh. I have a massive amount of respect for these users simply because they were honest in their desires/needs/expectations and did not try to 'lead me on'. (You know who you are and I luffles you for your honesty.)

I even had one person approach me in chat and ask if I received his PM. I told him that I did, but as I hadn't responded, he could assume that I wasn't interested. Conversation ensued and I ended up explaining why. He put no effort into his response. His reasoning? Because -he- didn't want to put effort into something if he didn't know whether or not it would work out. Um, hello, give me something good to read. Catch my eye if you want me to even consider speaking with you. I put in the effort, you should, too. If you're lazy in your response, in my opinion, you'll be lazy in a relationship.

If you send me a response titled something like "Slave" or "Slut", umm...expect to be verbally fist-fucked (or ignored) depending on my mood. If the body of your PM looks similar to anything below:

hey u got a mastur yet?

stp lookin 4 a mastur. i tink im him.

i am ur maser adn u r my slaev


then do yourself a favor and don't click the 'Send' button.


/rant
<3
Cherry

[Night-1991]

Cherry is just made of so much epic win she wins the internet everytime she comes online! xD

[Ch3rry B0mb]

Cherry is just made of so much epic win she wins the internet everytime she comes online! xD

Dude..really....ya gotta stop stroking my ego! :P


(No, don't stop, I love it!)

<3
Cherry

[phanmail]

Yeah some of the ads are pretty bad, but the female ones get dozens of responses no matter how bad they are because everyone wants a female sub (guilty).

The really annoying thing is that these bad ads force the good ads into the second and third page of threads meaning you can have one solid page of "I WANT A MISTRESS I HAVE NO LIMITS!!!".

Oh well thats the way it is I guess...

[Ch3rry B0mb]

And the sad thing about this fact is that while the good ads are getting pushed to the end of the line, people are bumping the shitty ads to tell them how shitty they are instead of bumping the good ads and praising them for their efforts.

[curdares]

/rant


Feel better now?

because everyone wants a female sub (guilty).


Guilty! But I will wait as long at it takes to find the right one. In the meantime, I'll just play a session or several for fun and see if somebody surprises me and give dares on the TorD Online forum. That's fun too.

My biggest complaint is getting in contact with somebody and they just disappear after a session or two. I don't mind if they don't want to continue it, just send me a quick email saying thanks, but I don't think this will work out. Or if they just wanted a session or two, don't talk to me about being a sub, just ask for a session of play time.

[Leopard]

My biggest complaint is getting in contact with somebody and they just disappear after a session or two. I don't mind if they don't want to continue it, just send me a quick email saying thanks, but I don't think this will work out. Or if they just wanted a session or two, don't talk to me about being a sub, just ask for a session of play time.

This. If someone just wanted a play session or two, fine. Or if they don't think it'll work out, I'm not going to argue. But really, it's not that hard to tell someone that, instead of leaving them waiting and wondering. If the dom/sub you just ditched without a word has any sort of decent reputation on the site, there's a good chance you just ruined your chances with others they know.

ontopic:

Short, worthless ads is the norm. It was just a recent phase of having a bunch of good ones. People complaining about terrible ads or replies is as old as the hills and will never change. Just need to accept that.

[Superjoe808]

The responses that I've received are extremely laughable, for the most part. While there were a few (and I do mean -few-) rather intelligently written responses, I still had to sift through a proverbial 'shit ton' of crappy ass responses. Those few who did respond intelligently were contacted but our needs/wants did not mesh.

Nice to know my answer wasn't "good" enough. I remember actually putting some effort into it. Oh well!

Honestly I understand your rant, but you can't complain that you can't find someone if you only consider those that sent 3 pages PMs with attached resumés and references.

[Ch3rry B0mb]

Nice to know my answer wasn't "good" enough. I remember actually putting some effort into it. Oh well!

Honestly I understand your rant, but you can't complain that you can't find someone if you only consider those that sent 3 pages PMs with attached resumés and references.

Perhaps I should also have added a side note to include the fact that I haven't had a chance to read ALL of the responses that I've received. In total, I've received well over a hundred responses. I did mention having to 'sift' through a proverbial shit ton of responses, though. To be honest, I don't remember even seeing your name amongst the masses.

I'm not complaining that I "can't find someone". (Note my signature, please.) My main complaint is the lack of effort a person puts into their response when they're responding to an ad that, quite clearly, required some effort to compile. The smaller, less annoying for me, complaint is the lack of effort some use when creating their own ad.

Side note: Please, for the love of all things kinky, do not attach resumés when responding to my, or anyone else's, ad. Although, references are not a bad way to go.

Edit: After reading Superjoe808's response, I did go into my Inbox and sift through each and every PM looking for his response. There is not a response from him. I've never received a PM from Superjoe808, whether it's a response to my ad or just a friendly hello. (Unless I deleted it, which I honestly do not remember doing.)

If you responded, and I deleted, then obviously you were not what I'm looking for. There are other reasons why I reject/pass by responses. For example, if I'm told the person is looking for "an additional" sub. Polyamory....not my thing. I move on. If I don't respond, do not take it as a personal attack. Honestly, it just means that I'm not interested. You may have sent one PM....but I'm receiving a hell of a lot more. I don't want/have to respond to each and every one of them. Otherwise, my time on getDare would be spent answering ads instead of talking to people like curdares, Mere, Nixie, Cuffed, Anjelen, and others.

<3
Cherry

[cara.loverin1989]

Okay, dont be mean. When a person posts an add, you (in theory) put as much effort into the add as you will the relationship. It symbolic in a way. For me when I read a good add it tells me that the person who wrote it really wants to find the right person.

The same goes for when you reply. An "I saw your add and am interested" will not go to the top of the reply list when there are others that explain why they were interested and who they are. It competitive and you must realise that you are competing.

Also, after reading some of the other resopnses I have mad a decision. I am, instead of posting on bad adds, going to search for the good adds and post on them. This makes them surface to the top of the pile again which gives them more chance to be found. I encourage you to do this as well. When you are just surfing the site, go to the master/slave area and read the adds. Post on the good ones leave the bad ones alone. Go to the next page and help thoes that have been forgotten to be found again.

Thanks for all of your thoughts,
-Cara

[Ch3rry B0mb]

I'd also like to add that if an ad impresses you, but you're not applying, sometimes just sending someone a PM telling them that their ad was great can be the start of a wonderful friendship.

-cough-cara-cough-

<3

[cara.loverin1989]

haha. Love ya Ch3rry! Sweet as can be! :p