No limits

[Star Shadows]

Depp and the mods,
I have read a few posts in the s/M area and there were quite a lot that stated having "no limits" after some enquiries with people old enough to post and I think it would be a good idea to change the option of "No limits" to something like "few limits" OWTTE or get rid of it all together.

No one but no one has no limits. There may be people who are willing to a lot, but no one has no limits, and I feel that the option could be misleading.

[Mere]

Agreed. A very misleading term and depp should do something about it. :)
Thanks for the suggestion Star Shadows :)

[sydneyyy93]

I agree,
Theres no one in the entire world would have no limits. Maybe except Sadistic people but even them have limits.

[SubMissChievous]

I agree. I would get rid of it completely...

Anyone who puts this in their head title or their post actually scream "newbie" at me... So if we need to change it for something else then it could be something like "beginner" :)

[Blank]

I say I have no limits, because I am still exploring and discovering stuff about myself so At this moment I dont have any limits, would this be fair to say star?

sorry, I posted this to point out that maybe people put no limits because they are doing what I am doing and discovering thier limits? maybe thier could also be a discovering limits option?

[Slenderman - Doctor]

I say I have no limits, because I am still exploring and discovering stuff about myself so At this moment I dont have any limits, would this be fair to say star?

sorry, I posted this to point out that maybe people put no limits because they are doing what I am doing and discovering thier limits? maybe thier could also be a discovering limits option?

I see what you mean but then people would understand the title to be misleading. And the majority of "no limits" users do specify they have no limits - that seems to be the standard for that title. So, in your case, I think the title could be kept but changed a little.

"Unknown limits", maybe? "Unsure on limits"?

[CollaredBlondie]

I agree and would vote on changing it to one of these.


I agree. I would get rid of it completely...

Anyone who puts this in their head title or their post actually scream "newbie" at me... So if we need to change it for something else then it could be something like "beginner" :)


"Unknown limits", maybe? "Unsure on limits"?

[Star Shadows]

I say I have no limits, because I am still exploring and discovering stuff about myself so At this moment I dont have any limits, would this be fair to say star?

sorry, I posted this to point out that maybe people put no limits because they are doing what I am doing and discovering thier limits? maybe thier could also be a discovering limits option?

Please don't take it personal I was speaking as a generalization for people especially in ads for the S/M lounge. Which seem to misunderstand the implications of 'no' in the context of the statement. I have no issue with they way you work but agree that the way doctor worded it would be a better alternative.

I still do not take back the opinion that having no limits is unrealistic as if someone asked you to murder someone or put your own life in danger. I am damned sure you would say no.

No limits should be gone.
in place of "few limits" and "unsure of limits"

[TensionRoom101]

agree wholly.

There is a big difference between 'no limits' and 'unknown limits', but even then I can't imagine anyone having zero limits, and I'm one of the kinkiest, most twisted, deviant mo fo's you'll ever meet.

No limits could be changed to 'all ideas considered' perhaps? Maybe a new category that says 'limits not yet defined' or something similar.

Mike

[Nixie]

agree wholly.

There is a big difference between 'no limits' and 'unknown limits', but even then I can't imagine anyone having zero limits, and I'm one of the kinkiest, most twisted, deviant mo fo's you'll ever meet.

No limits could be changed to 'all ideas considered' perhaps? Maybe a new category that says 'limits not yet defined' or something similar.

Mike

True very true
I mean lets think about it. How many here are into Bestiality? :rolleyes:
Unknown is logical. All You CAN do is "Push" Your Limits and see where they lead you! Find them and list them as you go. Or take the actual time out and go through one of the LONG lists. Annoying yes but also worth it. hmm MAYBE One of the List threads needs a "Bump"

[XKor]

I was directed to this thread by Chloe.
I agree, 'unknown limits' could be a better option although not too realistic either, everyone knows at least a few limits.

'No limits' has only sense for me if we're talking about pure fantasy email or chat relationships ( I dont know if 'chat slave' falls into this category, since I'm new here, but it sounds like 'pure fantasy' to me)

Personally, I'd find more informative if there were a way to see if an ad is about 'pure fantasy' or 'performing for real'. I know that a descriptive ad will be enough to solve this, but the fact is that sometimes even reading some long ads it's not totally clear.

[MetalGreek]

haha i don't see what's the problem though. They can put down what they like and if they think they can take shit let them try.

[TensionRoom101]

Dunno. Maybe in your own world submissives and slaves are not the victim of severe mental, emotional, sexual and physical abuse, all of which left them scarred for life because they said no limits.

Maybe in your world Doms aren't pilloried, prosecuted and villified for things they've done to a submissive who claimed to have no limits at the time, but changed her mind after the fact.

My experiences on the scene tell me it's not as nice and straightforward as that. People get hurt. Badly.

Mike

[Star Shadows]

I will tell you know, even telling a dom I had limits, I still got badly hurt and I'm not the only one with or without limits that can come out worse for wears. No limits should be red flag listed along side dumbinance and other such things,

[Id.]

I know that this is an ancient thread, but the issue still remains. I saw it again here (http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=101448) tonight and remembered this thread. "No limits" is a fiction. It does not exist. Even just limits of space, time, and available items exist for everyone.

I understand the point above about not knowing limits or possibly having negotiable limits. But that's not what "no limits" means, certainly not to a beginner who is posting ads the first day they sign up for getDare.

At best, this leads to confusion. How many times have I seen posts with this and then in the description they say, "I have no limits, except..." and then they list a bunch of limits. Even experienced people might end up feeling pressured to do questionable tasks because they erroneously stated they have no limits. At worst it could lead to abuse.

"Few limits" really does not say anything at all. It's too vague, and it may lead people to be lazy about listing or even thinking about their limits, since they already said something about it in the header.

"Unknown limits" is a lot better. It admits inexperience, admits that limits do exist, and will encourage both master and slave to actually think about what those limits could be.

So, I think this issue is worth bringing up again and I hope the admins will consider it. A lot of people using the ad system have no experience at all. We do not want to give them false impressions and bad habits.

[Cuffed]

Saw this thread after it was bumped by ID and I just wanted to add my name to the list. I really do think this is an issue. I personally feel that if a "newbie" - In this case getdare being their first experience in anything s/m related, as we do have to remember people who join this site and their first post is an ad might have previously been on different s/m websites... although if this is the case I would expect that they would take the time to write limits because realistically no limits is not possible.

I guess my main concerns are anyone posting an ad who hasn't had experience before and states "no limits". Even if the dom/domme doesn't encourage some form of bad behaviour as it's the submissives first time in a relationship they will feel pressured and consider it -normal- to do such activites, to keep their first dom, to fit in.. often rushing ahead without researching and knowing what to expect. Although we can't force people to research before they get into something.

I do have -somewhat- a suggestion for a solution, perhaps adding a limit section to the user profiles with limits that can be selected from the dropdown (similar to the what you are looking for in this website section) this could be automatically added to every ad post. One of the limit options could be Unknown Limits, and one could be No Interest - for the people joining the website who do not have an interest in s/m. This could be a good edition to the website in general as users in chat or on any thread can click through to the profiles and see a list of limits. I know this would be difficult to do as there are a wide range of limits but perhaps generalising them. Upon signing up to the website the limit section could be complusary :rolleyes:. This would cause users to sit and think about their limits and if they aren't interested just select No Interest.

Just a thought. xoxo