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Mr. Green
12-25-2009, 03:44 PM
*"It was the day that I was going to move away from home to a college. I had been dreaming of this for the last 5 years. Ever since I turned 13 I looked toward my futur as an actor so I researched on where I should study and the best result was canada's national college watton. It was the best college in acting in north America. After working hard for this goal for 5 years I qualified for it."*

"Hi I'm Alex (not my real name) I'm 18 and going to college today I'm so excited about this like I said before I have been dreaming of this day for a long time. Well I'm going to tune off until later bye"....................

..... "Hi there again I just arrived to the college I have to amit I haven't seen anything this big in real life." After checking in Alex walked to his dorm. Saying good bye never felt so good saying good bye to your parents is such a releaf. I walked back to my dorm to find my roomate Mike.
"hi there" I said
"hi you must be Alex" mike replied
"no I'm John"
"what??"
"no I'm kidding yes I'm Alex"
After chatting among themselves for an hour Mike offered me if I wanted to go play some laser tag. I agreed to so we walked down to the "FUN" part of campus. There was no wait it wasn't busy at all so we suited up, and about an hour later of fun. They were walking back to the dorm when mike said
"hey you want to go for a swim"
"where I didn't know there was a pool" I comented
"there isn't but there's a beach two blocks away"
So we walked down to the beach having a grand time when arrived at the beach.*
"oh no we forgot to bring swim suits" I said
"no need haven't you herd of skinny dipping" mike replied
"yah I guess"*
"then com on shy boy"
He started to strip then he dove in, I quickly striped and dove in. We splashed around for probably an hour when Mike asked*
"hey Alex truth or dare"
"dare I guess" (not knowing what I was getting myself into)
"ok, I dare you to stand on the beach for 30 seconds naked"
"ok"*
I walked onto the beach the cool air chilled my body when it was time we Both decide it would be a good time to head back to the dorm.

will9022
12-26-2009, 09:33 AM
great start! this story seems like it can become very interesting. keep going!!

Nick
12-26-2009, 01:12 PM
like where this could be going.
But it seems a little bit rushed in my opinion and with a little more description it would be even better. Grammar is pretty good, just a couple errors.

Overall good start!

Captain Harkness
12-28-2009, 03:48 PM
Could do with some detail.

glue
12-29-2009, 02:58 AM
please can we have some paragraphs, would be lovely

BUT nice story i like were it is going

7/10