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Slenderman - Doctor
12-03-2009, 12:41 PM
Part One: Snow Day
It all started with a sleepover. Their friendship, I mean. Two girls, a film, popcorn and hair-straighteners. Wham, bam and that's your lot. It was Kate's birthday and so, to celebrate, she'd invited her new friend, Laura, over for the night. After this, they became best friends for a solid three years and they soon knew each other pretty well. Being 16, they weren't afraid to experiment and have some fun. What I mean is, well, they followed the trend of what 16-year-old girls sometimes do. They had pillow fights in their underwear, took photos of each other half naked, obsessed over "fit celebs", bitched about that group of slags at college and gossiped about lads. Getting the picture now? Basically, two stereotypical teenage girls.

Kate Muldowney was blonde but not stupid. Long waves of blonde hair rested over her shoulders and her blue eyes glistened and sparkled in the sun. Ugh, too lovey-dovey. To cut the crap, Kate was a girl like most others who attended Park High College. She was blonde, she wore makeup, she was a tease, and she was clever. Her best friend was rather similar. Laura Shoesmith, however, was a brunette. Practically the only real difference. If you looked at their year's college photo, you probably wouldn't notice them. They just slotted into the jigsaw of life - they didn't stand out and they liked it that way. Unlike some girls, they didn't care about attention. They just wanted to be themselves and, well, I say good on them. I mean, even with what I said earlier (pillow fights, naughty photos and the rest), they kept themselves to themselves. Again, unlike some girls at Park High, they didn't take the photos to send around or put on the Internet. What they did as friends stayed with them as friends.

It was December. Monday 4th December to be exact.

4/12/09.

Of course, that's the way we write the date here in the UK because we do things... logically.

But I digress.

It was a snow day and college had been cancelled, much to the delight of several hundreds of students (and even teachers). It'd felt like forever since their last college break. The closure had been announced pretty sharpish that morning at 8am on the radio, just as Kate opened her eyes and slumped her way out of bed. I say "slumped" because it connotes the sense of slowness. It was freezing in her room and, wearing only a pair of panties, Kate was reluctant to get out of bed. But she had to. And the news announcement helped her get out of bed. The radiator stat was turned off, so she bent down and threw it on to the hottest setting. Then, without realising or caring too much, she flung back her bright pink curtains and adjusted her eyes slightly as the morning winter sun did its best to blind her.

A blanket of white.

It was no surprise to see that half the street were already awake and outside. Parents scraping furiously at their car windows, kids throwing snowballs here, there and everywhere. The view was rather breathtaking. For a few long moments, Kate glanced around, smiling to herself. It was only when she caught the attention of Laura across the road that she realised her upper body was on view to the rest of the world. Laura, living just over the road, was also at her bedroom window gazing into the picture perfect landscape before her. Then their eyes met. And then Laura's hand pointed. It quickly pointed at Kate, who in turn realised and grabbed the curtains for cover.

But, truthfully, Kate didn't really care. Her room was beginning to warm up, the sun was out, snow was falling and college was closed. Signaling "ten minutes" with her hands to Laura, Kate backed away from the window and towards the bathroom.

Setting four, power normal, button pressed, panties off, Kate in.

The temperature was just right - warm but not hot - as it streamed gently through her ruffled blonde hair, over and between her breasts and down her legs. The smell of strawberry-scented shower gel filled the room in seconds as she lathered herself up, even subtly teasing herself as she did so. Next came the Head & Shoulders shampoo. A sponge and two fluffy towels later, Kate was sorted. Back to her room, and to her wardrobe.

A snug pink jumper, bright red knickers and a matching bra, jeans and a pair of knee-high thick socks came out and went on. No messing. In two minutes time, her mobile would ring and she would answer. She dived on to her bed and pulled out her hair-enhancing/straightening/drying device (excuse my uselessness - I'm a male narrator!) and set to work, sorting the finishing touches out. Oh, yeah, and she whipped on a touch of makeup to complete the look.

Her phone vibrated.

"Laura, hey!"

"Hey Kate - nice boobs ya got there," teased Laura, giggling.

"Whatever!" Kate said, laughing slightly.

"Wanna come over for a bit? I've got a sledge --"

"Sure thing," interrupted Kate, now back at the window looking over to Laura's house. "I'll be there in a sec!"

But Laura had something a little more exciting than sledging in mind...

Jacques
12-03-2009, 01:08 PM
Nice start, I'm intriqued by what SQUIRT stands for!

Only thing that's slightly disappointing is that it's set tomorrow- so if it doesn't snow I will be dismayed that the story weather is better!

macjohn
12-03-2009, 01:09 PM
good story but try not to talk about you writing in the story, be less specific and let people fill in the details for themselves, and do your research

Slenderman - Doctor
12-03-2009, 01:10 PM
Nice start, I'm intriqued by what SQUIRT stands for!

Only thing that's slightly disappointing is that it's set tomorrow- so if it doesn't snow I will be dismayed that the story weather is better!

Oh, yeah, that's a mystery ;)

Also, it's not Monday tomorrow. This is a fictional world :p

Slenderman - Doctor
12-03-2009, 01:27 PM
good story but try not to talk about you writing in the story, be less specific and let people fill in the details for themselves, and do your research

That's the way I write and the way I'll continue to write, sorry. I just find it more fun and it's a different style; it's my style. Also, be less specific with what? And do my research on what?

Thanks :)

storyboy
12-03-2009, 01:28 PM
great story! please keep writing

macjohn
12-03-2009, 01:30 PM
That's the way I write and the way I'll continue to write, sorry. I just find it more fun and it's a different style; it's my style. Also, be less specific with what? And do my research on what?

be less specific on like the soap and leave it to the readers imagination

do your research on like the hair straightener thing

Slenderman - Doctor
12-03-2009, 01:31 PM
be less specific on like the soap and leave it to the readers imagination

do your research on like the hair straightener thing

But leaving out details can also make the story dull and flat. I've tried to make it so readers can picture it in their head. Of course, I won't go into specific detail with everything but some things require extra detail.

Also, I think you missed the point. I know what the "hair straightening devices" are - that's where I'm throwing in some of the humour and fun.

Slenderman - Doctor
12-03-2009, 02:44 PM
Part Two: Laura's Big Idea
Kate skipped happily through the snow.

She didn’t.

She trudged her way through the knee-high field of snow, stopping every few seconds to re-adjust her socks and pull her scarf tighter around her neck. It was nice though. Well, it was until a snowball narrowly missed her head and a second one actually hit her on the arse. But she didn’t mind. They were only little kids, messing around, having fun. Eventually, though, she reached Laura’s front door and entered.

“Upstairs!” Laura shouted.

“Okay!”

She dumped her wellies on the door mat and headed upstairs to the landing, before turning left and opening the second door. Laura’s room. Laura was on her bed, tapping away at her laptop keyboard.

“Heya,” she said, her eyes still focused on the screen.

Kate said nothing. She jumped onto Laura’s ever-so-comfy double bed and peered over her shoulder.

“Whatcha on?” Kate asked, her eyes investigating the website which appeared before her.

“This forum thing. It’s called getDare. Found it yesterday.”

“What the hell’s getDare? Well, I could guess but--”

“There ya go then. It’s a forum where people post dares and truths and stuff!”

Laura smiled, turning her head to Kate and then back to the screen.

“And there’s me thinking you were all innocent and well behaved,” said Kate, rather sarcastically.

Laura laughed. For the next fifteen minutes or so, Laura just flicked through the forum threads and posted various bits and bobs, showing Kate the ins and outs of this little gem of a website. Kate knew Laura well enough to know that she’d always been into this kind of thing. It’s just something they’d never really spoken about or discussed.

“Little Laura?”

“Oh shut it. I couldn’t think of anything... different or unique. And I figured, well, that I’m smaller than like most people so yeah. Anyway, look at this,” said Laura, clicking into a Notepad document. “I had an idea late last night after signing up to getDare.”

Kate looked at the document and then caught sight of the document title.

“Squirt?!”

Kate looked bemused and amused at the same time.

“Yeah! Stands for Some Quite Underestimated Intelligent Randy Teens. It’s probably not great but I was well impressed with it! Anyway, I thought me and you--”

“What?!”

“Lemme finish then. I thought we could form like a dare group or something and--”

“Do dares?” Kate guessed.

“Yep.”

“Tell me more?”

Kate raised an eyebrow, interested, if not a little taken aback upon this sudden ... this sudden thing.

“Here, read this,” replied Laura, passing the laptop over to Kate.

SQUIRT

Me and Kate sign up to getDare as “Squirt Squad” (or something) and look for some dares. We each find some we like and then dare the other to do them. Then we write up about the experiences on the site or on a blog etc. Eventually, when we’ve got into it more, we make a website and make an official Squirt club. Stories, profiles, new members etc. Basically we just do dares but it sounds more epic and we build some sort of club ^_^

“So, what you’re basically saying is that we both do dares under the title of... Squirt?”

“Yeah!”

Laura’s face now produced a huge grin, telling Kate just how impressed with herself she was. Obviously, Kate just looked slightly unimpressed and gave a blank stare. Don’t get me wrong, she thought it was a good idea, but did it really need a Notepad document and some grand unveiling and an official title to boot? Actually, yeah, it did. Most members of getDare just posted stories here and there. Laura had, however, come up with something slightly different. Yeah, it was good. And Kate soon acknowledged this and smiled back at Laura.

“Right then. Time to do some planning!”

The two girls nodded in sync and got to work...

Dicedarefan666
12-03-2009, 03:51 PM
Where awesome is better than the usual quality of writing on this site. So we'll call awesome 6 on a 1 to 10 scale, which makes this story 46,656 on a 1 to 10 scale.

Congratulations, it's a new high score

Your style of speaking about the story you're writing in that very story is definitely postmodern and cool as opposed to the cliché and boring. A little presumptuous to claim that as your style, as it has been used to great affect in many other works. One the springs to mind most readily is Maus, but I'm sure there are others.

Your use of sarcasm and humor was also not lost on me, as it was on MacJohn. Don't let his criticism deter you! I believe his capacity for literary evaluation does not surpass that of an unusually intelligent chimp, and unless he cares to provide credentials that claim otherwise I'm not likely to revise that belief.

Additionally, your use of personification and other literary devices was both apparent and entertaining. I look forward to part 3 and beyond!

Slenderman - Doctor
12-03-2009, 03:54 PM
Your style of speaking about the story you're writing in that very story is definitely postmodern and cool as opposed to the cliché and boring. A little presumptuous to claim that as your style, as it has been used to great affect in many other works. One the springs to mind most readily is Maus, but I'm sure there are others.

Oh, I'm sure this isn't the first time this kind of style has been adopted and used. What I meant was this is my preferred (and favourite) style of writing. I love twisting stories and narratives, and I have a great interest in playing with the device of the narrator - he's not a character per say, but he has his own character.

And thanks for the great comment. I hope the rest doesn't disappoint ^__^

Glavial
12-03-2009, 05:19 PM
Hey just wanted to put in a word and say i agree!! this writing is awesome and its so refreshing to see some difference in the stories on here. Keep up the good work!

Slenderman - Doctor
12-04-2009, 10:47 AM
Thanks for the kind words, and I'm glad to see people enjoying it ^__^

I'll probably post/write more over the weekend :)

May
12-04-2009, 12:06 PM
Amazing story! I must say I am in love with your writing style :D
Please, keep going!
I'm also working on a story, but seeing as it's not TorD related, I don't think I could post it on here. I wish, though!

Hmm...Actually, I just might end up posting it :D

Anyways, just wanted to say "Thanks!" for this piece, it is quite refreshing!

Slenderman - Doctor
12-04-2009, 01:24 PM
Part Three: getDare
Before I continue writing this story, I should apologise. I never informed you of what Laura was wearing. I mean, I told you about the start of Kate’s day but not Laura’s. A bit unfair, that, I think. If you’re interested, read the next paragraph. If not, skip it and continue with the main plot.

Laura’s wardrobe was extremely colourful, with clothes of all different colours hanging from the rail. Today, to contrast with the sheet of white outside, she’d gone for a red theme. Red jumper, red knickers, red bra, red skirt, black tights and red socks. I know, I know. A skirt in a snowy December. Sounds a bit unlikely. Well, maybe. But I promise that’s what she had on. I should note that it was her longest skirt and it was thicker than usual. But yeah.

Completely in red... nearly.

Soon enough, their ideas were put into motion. Laura logged back into getDare and typed out a private message to Depp, the administrator.

Depp,

I joined this site yesterday and, on a whim, I chose this username. I’ve since spoken to my best friend and we’ve come up with our own dare-related club thing. To cut a long story short, we were both wondering if you could please change this username to “Squirt” if it’s available? If not, we’d appreciate “Squirt Squad”.

Thanks in advance and thanks for your time.

Laura

Unusually, but handily, this request was approved within the space of ten minutes and Laura logged back in, this time, as “SquirtSquad”. Also, within the space of just a few minutes, predictably, half of the males on getDare viewed their profile. So okay, it’s quite a male-attracting username, but still. The girls decided to fill out their profile. But no. They couldn’t. Two pop-ups appeared on the screen. Two private messages from horny fourteen year olds. Great. But then, whatever their username, they would’ve probably still gotten PMs anyway due to being female. They hit “ignore” and got to work filling out their profile.

Name: Laura & Kate
Gender: Female
Age: Both 16
Interested In: General banter and dares.
About: Two teenage girls with kinky intentions.
Location: England.

Wham, bam, sorted. (You’ll notice I like the “wham, bam” phrase and so I apologise if it pisses you off). Following this, the girls logged off and turned to one another. Both of them knew what each other was thinking – it was just a case of who’d speak out first.

Eventually, Kate perked up. But her word was rather unexpected.

“Sledging?”

“Well, I had to get you to come over somehow. Besides, I wasn’t lying – there’s a sledge in the shed out back. Fancy it?”

“You mean... we’ve just started a kinky dare thing and now you just wanna go sledging?”

“Of course not, ya div. We’ll go sledging, yeah, but there’ll be a few twists. See, before anything else, we need some dare experiences to have so we can write them up on getDare and look like we know what we’re doing.”

“We do know what we’re doing.”

“Oh you know what I mean. Anyway, you coming or not?”

By this point, Laura was already on the landing and about to head downstairs.

“I’ll be down in a minute – I just gotta use the bathroom!” Kate called out.

“Take your time,” sighed Laura as she flung herself downstairs, swinging on the banister as another smile appeared on her face.

However, Kate didn’t need the bathroom at all. Oh no. She was one step ahead of Laura with this Squirt dare idea. She turned around and bent down, reaching out her right arm and gripping a handle. She rolled out the drawer from the chest and looked around, just to check she was safe. She was. Thongs and knickers and g-strings galore. She grabbed a couple of pairs and bung them neatly down her pants. The drawer rolled back with a gentle thud and Kate snuck into the bathroom and flushed the toilet.

“Too easy,” she said, almost evilly.

Hamishrules
12-04-2009, 07:38 PM
Love it, great Story, Also love the avatar, Im a BIG Doctor Who Fan

Slenderman - Doctor
12-05-2009, 09:23 AM
I don't know quite how to say this but... I won't be continuing this story. I know, I know, I've only just started it. But, honestly, it's not great and I'm not happy with it.

Sorry.

See, I had this main central plot idea ("SQUIRT") and I was in love with it. But, reading back, I've decided it's not what I want to write about and I don't want to continue something I don't care about.

To make up for this sudden announcement, I will tell you that I'm working on a new story which is currently getting my creative juices flowing and, so far, I'm over the moon with the progression. I really hope I get around to completing and posting it up here. This time, though, I've decided to take another approach to writing...

Instead of writing a section and then posting, I'm going to make sure I'm a good few sections ahead before posting my next one. I'll do this so, should I ever need to take a break or re-draft bits, I'll have some story to work on and I'll always have posting material to fill any gaps. It'll also let me make sure I'm 100% happy with my stuff before posting.

So, again, I apologise if you were getting into this story but I do promise that something new is in the works. I won't set a date on when I'll get the first part posted, but I plan to get the first sections posted probably around Christmas/New Year.

Thanks :)

PS: Feel free to take "SQUIRT" or anything else from this story to adapt for your own. I mean, I don't want anyone copying stuff, but it'd be nice see the ideas adapted and changed in other stories. I like to inspire people and I like to help people. Kthx.