How do I find a female partner for online nude dares?

[quizmaster]

Hi

The first thing to say is that I am a lot older than most people who visit this site - I am a 60 year-old British guy. That in itself makes it difficult to find a partner. But even if I weren't that age, I think it would be difficult. My previous attempts have been pretty unsuccessful - mainly because most women are unwilling to get naked in pics and on cam. I can understand that people seek security, and don't want private naked pics and footage plastered everywhere online, but the obvious solution to that - to be anonymous and unrecognisable by wearing a disguise, such as a wig, dark glasses - typically doesn't persuade.

When I have asked for advice before, people have said "Oh, take the time to build a relationship." Believe me, I would take the time, and HAVE taken the time. And it doesn't work.

And then of course there are the time-wasters, who SAY they will get naked, but never follow through.

I have sometimes said that I am looking for a woman I can strip in a thousand different ways. A woman who will be the visual centre of my erotic universe. How do I find her?

[Kifla]

Go to a cam website and pay like everyone else.

[MasterMichaelNY]

It's called being active on the site, and letting the girls get to know you, and what you are all about.

I'm 57, and age doesn't mean a thing to the girls, as long as you both click. As a matter of fact, being older is a advantage, because the girls feel submissive to our experience. The whole thing is that you have to build TRUST with them, and once they can trust you, they will do anything for you including breaking there photo limit.

BUT, for you the learning curve is going to be, who are the girls, who are the catfishs, and who are the traps.

Good luck.

Add on
I checked out your back post, you might want to check out Fet LIfe, there's a group there, called Woman who like married men.

[quizmaster]

Thanks, Kifla. but that is not what I am looking for.

[quizmaster]

That sounds good advice MasterMichael

[Soanon]

I’ll be upfront with you, if this post is a reflection of the way you’ve been approaching women, it comes across really thirsty - and as a result is unsurprising you haven’t found what you are looking for. There really isn’t a lot here that says you are looking for anything other than just telling a woman to strip so you can see a pair of tits. Although these women are offering submission or slavery, it’s still a two-way thing, whereby both parties should be satisfied. It really is a gift from her and should be viewed as such. Trust has to be built - put yourself in her shoes... you really think you’re not asking for something that takes a huge amount of trust? If it was merely about being recognised, we could all walk around in a wig and glasses with our bits hanging out.

I’d also consider looking in different places. GetDare is great, but it’s probably fair to say it’s a bit more lighthearted than say FetLife.

Don’t give up, but you’ll need to develop some empathy if you want to find what you are after.

[quizmaster]

Thanks for that Soanon. The thing is, I have, in the past, been very careful to take account of the other person's needs. I fully accept that this is a two-way thing - and that is the problem. I have put a LOT of effort into coming up with tasks that the sub women I have been involved with have loved. One woman told me that, although she had met more forceful doms, she had never come across anyone more creative. Another said that I gave her fantastic tasks. I have also wanted to open up the relationship to non-sexual things, just friendly chat, about this and that. But then when I ask that they do something which I like...it's "Sorry, Mister, I'm not doing that."

And it really isn't about my saying "Give us a look at your tits, darling." I want to strip a woman in creative ways.

[suballyzon]

Thanks for that Soanon. The thing is, I have, in the past, been very careful to take account of the other person's needs. I fully accept that this is a two-way thing - and that is the problem. I have put a LOT of effort into coming up with tasks that the sub women I have been involved with have loved. One woman told me that, although she had met more forceful doms, she had never come across anyone more creative. Another said that I gave her fantastic tasks. I have also wanted to open up the relationship to non-sexual things, just friendly chat, about this and that. But then when I ask that they do something which I like...it's "Sorry, Mister, I'm not doing that."

And it really isn't about my saying "Give us a look at your tits, darling." I want to strip a woman in creative ways.

Hmmm... It sounds to me that maybe you didn't really find a compatible partner.. You have to determine what kind of D/s relationship you are after, and what kind of relationship your partner's after. Do they really match? Trust takes time to build, yes but you need to make sure the time and effort you're putting in is for the right person. For example, if in the beginning, the person says going on Cam/pics/videos is absolutely hard limit.. then maybe move on, don't waste your time for nothing.

As in term for online-only relationship, I think it's very understandable that the submissive may find it too risky to go on cam, yes face can be hidden and/or covered (with glasses/masks...) but still.. I happen to be very easy-going. I can send nude pics (with no face), videos... as proof of given tasks, or just for inspection to my Dom, but this is online, we still have to be very very careful, especially in a submissive's position. As for going on cam, it is something that's very very intense for me, I don't even know yet if I'll be willing to do it, even with a lot of well-built trust.

Again, maybe you didn't really find a right one. Maybe find someone that's also married, and want to make an effort to make this relationship work online-only. And, maybe someone that's willing to go on cam (and enjoy it going on cam). Have a lot of discussion before deciding whether or not to put more effort into it. It might be hard, but it's possible (I think). Maybe try Fetlife. There are quite many married people who want the same thing as you do as far as I know, maybe there's better chance.

[quizmaster]

Hi Suballyzon

Many thanks for that reply. Yes, I am married, but the marriage is sexless - I will never physically cheat on my wife, and so I am seeking an online-only involvement.

Yes, I suppose I could say that I haven't yet found the right person - but of course that doesn't really help me find that special someone. A strange case happened recently. I put an ad on another site, and a woman responded, and she sent me a full-frontal nude picture of herself. I think she might have been wearing a wig, but her face was on display, and she said that it was a photo of her. I naturally thought that here was someone who has no problems getting naked. But then in her subsequent email she said she would only do roleplay, with no visuals, and the picture she had sent was the only picture I would get of her. You can imagine my frustration. I suppose she might have been pretending the picture was of her, and really it was just a photo of someone else she found online. I wish people wouldn't play games like this!

[carolcan]

Another thing I might point out. There are many subs out there who will not get involved with married men. Either remotely or online, regardless if it’s a sexless marriage. That’s something you might want to mention early in the “Get to know you” stage. Be upfront and honest. Since you are married, you might want to also let her know when you can or can not be online. Time difference is also a key factor for online relationships.

For the subs who do send face pics very early are typically ones who just want a quick fix. I agree with the others here....it takes a LOT of trust to send them to others.

Here’s a true scenario: In my experience, I did send one early. He basically cyber stalked me and tried to blackmail me. Trust issue? Yes, I have one. I had another online relationship a few years later. He only asked me once for a face pic, and respected my decision not to send one. It took me months to trust him. I finally sent one to him - and never regretted it. We are still good friends today.

Be patient! She is out there for you.

[Mousey123]

Have you tried onesubmissiveact.com

[AliceP1985]

As a woman, and one who is willing to risk getting naked for dares/forfeits, even I find it difficult (or at least unusual, since it's not necessarily true that I'm specifically looking to play with women, just that I'm looking to play with someone and most of the willing someones are men) to find women that are willing/able to share nudes, even unrecognisable/anonymous ones.

I don't suppose this is particularly surprising considering a) the number of men on this site who 'pester' any woman that doesn't have pics in there hard limits in big red text and b) the very real consequences of having identifiable nude pics shared online.

Remembering point a) is especially important anytime you message someone, every time I login or post I'm likely to get at least a few (and sometimes a lot more) PMs looking to play or requesting/offering dares.

Hope some of this helps.

[quizmaster]

Hi Carolcan - Many thanks. I am always honest about being married, and I am also very flexible about times when I am available for online interaction, as I work from home. I am sorry to hear about your cyber stalker - it is terrible when people betray you. It is not only immoral in its own right, but it makes it harder for everyone else to establish trust.

[quizmaster]

Thanks for that Mousey123. I have not heard of the website. I will check it out.

[quizmaster]

Thank you very much AliceP1985. I wonder how many women find it a turn-on simply to be observed undressing by a man? And how many women are attracted to the idea of getting undressed in different ways - for instance, as forfeits? I thinking stripping has such creative potential. I just wish I could find a woman who feels the same.