PDA

View Full Version : Fiction: Harwoina


Night-1991
11-05-2009, 09:43 PM
This story takes place in a country only Dominants and Submissives can only dream of. Yes it may look like i ripped the last few lines off one of my old stories, but i found it fitted in this one more. Plus i didn't have the insperation to finish that one...now with this plot, i have a reason.

Please, give me feedback and note it's in the Mature Stories area for a reason. Plus i saw a lack of BDSM, (GOOD ones) stories in this area.

Chapter 2 sees a slave Auction and abit of 'punishment'. Not sure when that'll be finished, but it'll be finished.

Note: All characters are +18
__________________________________________________ ________________________

I'm an avarage built boy, 5'8 with shoulder length brown hair. I was born here, in a country completely cut off from the rest of the world yet it felt like America to me. Although this country was founded for one perpose, the words Domination and Submission.

The countries name was Harwoina. It was simple to tell if you were to be placed as a Dominant or a Submissive, Those who graduated with good grades in school, became Dominants, those who graduate with bad grades or don't graduate at all, become Submissives.

The system was harsh, but each limit was respected with reason. People with hard limits were an exception, as their limits were respected more than people with soft limits.

It sprung to me where i was, i was in the main hall of the college. It was the time of year again where status is given to those who deserve it. I was nervous, the HeadMistress wasn't exactly merciful either. She had just sent a Female student out of the room with a Collar in her hands, meaning she was a Submissive.

"Bring in Daniel" I heard her say, this was it, it was my name being called...and i sighed, standing up and heading into her room. The sight was intimidating but she was just so sexy, Black Knee high boots along with a long flowing black dress all topped off with a dash of blood red lipstick and long flowing blonde hair.

"You're hopeless, i can't believe a student like you is actually able to live." She said to me, i hung my head in dispair and sighed. "I'm sorry" i said.

"No, too late for that now. But i'll go easy on you. You'll be rented out to one of my friends tonight. Mistress Zoe, and i want you to respect her. You shall be sold at auction tomorrow." Her voice rang. Instead of handing me a Collar, she locked one onto me, and picked up a small syringe, "don't worry..this won't hurt a bit" she smirked and slowly embedded it into my neck. It stung, but i started to drift off after a few, and before i knew it, i fell asleep.

Suddenly i woke up in a cage naked with only my collar, i was sleeping like a dog, food and water bowl by my side and only a single sheet to lay on in the cage, i felt dizzy from waking, but that happens every morning, i suddenly see Zoe, or Mistress Zoe to me walk in the room, she was holding a leash, i knew what time it was, walkies, even if i'd just woke up. But i had to play along, so i had to go with what i researched the day before 'graduation'.

I watched her unlock the cage and place the leash onto my collar, i barked playfully , "good boy" she said and stroked my hair, leading me out the room and the door, i was fully naked, only she wasn't, just wearing a pink t-shirt, blue jeans and black high heels, lucky for me, the house was isolated, in the country, no one passed, it was rare anyone did.

I followed her closely, on my hands and knees, not once did she have to tug my leash as she walked me around the garden, this was done everyday, it was necessary to my training as her dog, even though i thought myself as one already, she had to break it into me.

Of course it went wrong at points, and i had to be dragged by her until i started to follow normally, "Move bitch!" she shouted at me, hearing that i felt warm, i loved that, although i would of been warmer if i had been inside the house and not outside fully nude.

She suddenly stopped, "Stop" she called out to me and i did just that, looking up at her, "good boy" she smiled and stroked my hair again, this time reaching into her pocket, the treat looked like a bon bon, she handed it out to me and i took it from her, not by hand but by mouth, "thank you Mistress" i said with a smile, she also smiled and tugged the leash, i followed her back to the house.

Although, something was getting hard just from this experience, and yes, it was my cock, although i hoped she wouldn't notice, most likely she would.

Once we got back to the house she commanded me to stand to attention as she took the leash off me, i stood up straight and still, looking down at the floor but my head up, hands by my side and legs close together, she walked around me, picking up a pair of PVC gloves from the table nearby , she slowly put them on and started to feel up and down my body, i didn't move an inch, although her hand wandered towards my cock, i thought i was in trouble until she said, "Hehehe..silly boy, you'll have to wait until tonight haven't you" with a giggle, she kissed my cheek slowly, i watched her point to the kitchen, "That room needs cleaning, there is a spunge and a bucket of soapy water in there, clean the floor good and proper, i don't want to see ANYTHING missed, otherwise your dick won't get pleasure tonight, understood?" she barked, i nodded slowly and spoke "yes Mistress, i understand Mistress"

"Good boy" was her response and she slapped my ass to make me move towards the kitchen

Night-1991
11-06-2009, 12:46 PM
Expect Chapter 2 up soon. How is it so far?

Robbo!
11-06-2009, 12:57 PM
Pretty darn good! I'm intrigued to see how it develops.

molten man
11-06-2009, 03:08 PM
nice post!! Keep it going!!

Night-1991
11-07-2009, 03:44 PM
Pretty darn good! I'm intrigued to see how it develops.

Thanks. Like your story, i won't be going into the sex right away. It'll take time before the develops.

Night-1991
11-07-2009, 03:44 PM
nice post!! Keep it going!!

Thank you. I will.

Lovesfundares
11-07-2009, 10:43 PM
I LOVE IT. MORE MORE MORE THOUGH
lol
like i honestly love this story big time

Komodo Jones
11-12-2009, 09:11 AM
Night, very interesting story so far the concept is nice and it makes it look like you've found your certain quality that is going to seperate this from the rest of the mass-produced s/m stories making a country that consists soley of the bdsm aspects. Just wondering what about switches? Just kidding, as I'm not one anymore but I digress. I only saw two things that I would like to comment on. First off, check the spelling and mechanics before you submit it. Not a lot but I noticed that you misspelled purpose in the first paragraph. Also I noticed that you didn't describe Mistress Zoe. Other than those two flaws you have done a pretty good job, you have an interesting plot, and I am intrigued to see where this goes.

Night-1991
11-20-2009, 09:18 PM
Night, very interesting story so far the concept is nice and it makes it look like you've found your certain quality that is going to seperate this from the rest of the mass-produced s/m stories making a country that consists soley of the bdsm aspects. Just wondering what about switches? Just kidding, as I'm not one anymore but I digress. I only saw two things that I would like to comment on. First off, check the spelling and mechanics before you submit it. Not a lot but I noticed that you misspelled purpose in the first paragraph. Also I noticed that you didn't describe Mistress Zoe. Other than those two flaws you have done a pretty good job, you have an interesting plot, and I am intrigued to see where this goes.

I was going to create a world based soley around M/s. But there's already one, called Gor.

But that aside, this chapter was kinda rushed because i wanted to get it out into the open first before i start brainstorming ideas.

Thanks for the tips anyway, and yes, i was trying to change the face of the s/m story section because of all the generic and boring stories floating around at the minute.

Maybe i didn't describe her because, i wanted to be unique and let the reader imagine what she looks like. Plus, she's very minor and not going to be in the story for long, because a new Mistress comes along.

Since the "Lead submissive" in the story is only rented out, and not fully owned.

Night-1991
11-20-2009, 09:42 PM
Chapter two is....HERE!. It doesn't look good but i tried my best at least. Oh well...

__________________________________________________ _______________________


The experience was humiliating, forced into the kitchen to clean the floor on my hands and knees. The stone cold marble floor looked shining to me, but obviously it wasn't enough for Mistress Zoe to be satisfied with what she had to walk on, but she was wearing boots, so what the hell was the problem?

Looked like she spent alot of money on this kitchen, neatly vanished worktops along with bright pine seats. It was obvious that Dominants got paid alot more thsn submissives, and yes, submissives did work, but they got paid peanuts compared to the Dominants.

There was already a bucket of soapy water at the side ready for me, but i wasn't going to be doing it with my hands, oh no, she walked over and clamped in my mouth, what looked like a gag with a sponge attachment and locked it. Was i really cleaning the floor with this?, it was cruel, then again, i didn't have a say in the matter.

"Now, clean boy. Remember, not a single speck must be left, got it?" she barked to me and left the room. I sighed low in the gag and dunked the sponge-gag into the bucket, gathering a good amount of soapy water and beginning to clean the floor, gathering what i could. I overheard Mistress Zoe laughing on the phone, talking to a friend, but i ignored it.

A few times i slipped, but i made sure i got into every groove in the flooring and around the bottoms of the worktops. Using a clean towel to wipe the floor dry when i was finished, making sure it was actually dry and that she wouldn't slip and do herself an injury.

In the end, which seemed like two hours, i was done. Hoping this would be to her satisfactions and that she wouldn't decide to punish me for it. She came into the room, and unlocked the gag from my mouth and inspected the floor.

"Not bad....perhaps i won't beat you after all..." She smiled and yawned, "Ok, time to sleep slave" she said and signalled me to follow her into the living room, kicking me in the cage and locking it, before heading back upstairs.

My first day of being a submissive, i was hating it even though i wasn't sold yet, things could only get better though, as i drifted off to sleep....

(Leave it here to raise tension for the Auction XD)

Lovesfundares
11-20-2009, 09:51 PM
NO TENSTION POST NOW OR I TAKE MY VENGECE ON YOU.

hi i luv this lol
and the caps are wat any1 who sees this post says lol

Night-1991
11-23-2009, 08:33 PM
NO TENSTION POST NOW OR I TAKE MY VENGECE ON YOU.

hi i luv this lol
and the caps are wat any1 who sees this post says lol

Lol. I can do it just cuz i can :P

Anyway, why arn't many people checking this out?, kinda killing my mode to write.

MOAR PEOPLE COMMENT THE MOAR I WRITE PPLZ!

molten man
11-24-2009, 09:46 PM
nice!! Keep it going

Night-1991
12-03-2009, 09:29 AM
Ok guys. Making no promises but the next part will be up this week or next week. Whenever i feel the need to type and when this headache goes away, i'll post it.

25rob1985
12-03-2009, 11:13 AM
please do continue

Night-1991
12-31-2009, 02:31 PM
K guys. It's official. I will continue Maybe tonight. If the next chapter isn't put up by the end of next month, then close it.

Mistress_
01-05-2010, 05:06 PM
Thought I would post my first ever post on a story-
This is amazing! It is so much better than all the other drivle on this site!!
Very well done on the grammar and spelling! It makes a refreshing change to be able to read a story and not have to wonder what it is supposed to say!
Again very well done.
Please continue!
Mistress

Shade622
02-04-2010, 11:22 AM
please continue this