Locked Puppy
06-02-2018, 09:38 AM
Emotions. A touchy subject.
The thing about emotions: They are not words. You suddenly get that gutt feeling, and you are just mad about something you just heard, saw, or your Dom/me / sub did. What exactly is it that gives you this weird feeling? Especially jealousy and envy are really the toughest thing to overcome in any relationship - kink or vanilla.
Now, the first thing that comes to mind: Trust. You just have to build trust, give trust, earn trust. That seems easy, right? Just trust your SO.
But I already trust them, you say, not knowing what to do with that stupid feeling you can't even explain. We agreed to an open relationship from the get go. And I do not have any problems if my SO goes to do X with Y. But as soon as I hear they are going to do X with Z - then the gutt has to say something. But what?!
Please take the following advice that I can give with a grain of salt. It may work for you and your SO, it may not. Every human is different! That said, the example up there is from my own experience being owned by Mistress Simi. Her even just wanting to engage with certain people made my tummy all queezy in a not so fun way. But what did I do about it? Let me tell you:
I write everything down. Mistress and I have a shared google-doc which I use as my diary if anything starts to bother me. Be it Mistress seemingly not spending enough time with her pet, ignoring certain things, interacting with people that start that evil gutt feeling, etc.
It is not important that your recollection of things in this journal are exact. You write down what you feel. Just because you feel neglected, doesn't mean you actually are. Mistress can then set the record straight for example.
The beautiful thing about writing things down like this is the following: I figured out I didn't like her doing X with Z because I had feelings for Z! It wasn't the act. It wasn't Mistress being busy. Because being busy with Y I was always fine with. But Z was special to me, in a way I was not to them. But that's just my puppy nature. Someone shows affection of some kind and they are immediately my best friend. I want Z to do X with ME not with Mistress.
The solution to this is rather rational, but it really just works for me: I decided to be indifferent about Z. And poof! The tummy feels better. Let your owner know about this! Or it will not work.
But until I did realize that, it took quite some time to figure that out. Writing things down when the heart literally starts beating with jealousy. And you just have to use all the F-words and A-words you can find in your respective vocabulairy. And then you feel better. You got it out there. You know your SO reads what you write. They can then set the record straight. You know they now know just that little bit more about yourself.
So in short, how do I deal with emotions? I write down what bothers me. Once it is written down I look if it even makes sense. And when it doesn't I explore what is wrong about it and figure it out.
Unfortunately I lost the (German) source for this quote
"If you start complaining about a situation you are making yourself the victim. Find a way to change the situation, or accept the situation. Everything else is madness."
What is your way of dealing with emotions? Please share with us and let's leave different advice for all strokes of people on getdare.
Don't burry them! They will break out, and some thing will break up if you do.
The thing about emotions: They are not words. You suddenly get that gutt feeling, and you are just mad about something you just heard, saw, or your Dom/me / sub did. What exactly is it that gives you this weird feeling? Especially jealousy and envy are really the toughest thing to overcome in any relationship - kink or vanilla.
Now, the first thing that comes to mind: Trust. You just have to build trust, give trust, earn trust. That seems easy, right? Just trust your SO.
But I already trust them, you say, not knowing what to do with that stupid feeling you can't even explain. We agreed to an open relationship from the get go. And I do not have any problems if my SO goes to do X with Y. But as soon as I hear they are going to do X with Z - then the gutt has to say something. But what?!
Please take the following advice that I can give with a grain of salt. It may work for you and your SO, it may not. Every human is different! That said, the example up there is from my own experience being owned by Mistress Simi. Her even just wanting to engage with certain people made my tummy all queezy in a not so fun way. But what did I do about it? Let me tell you:
I write everything down. Mistress and I have a shared google-doc which I use as my diary if anything starts to bother me. Be it Mistress seemingly not spending enough time with her pet, ignoring certain things, interacting with people that start that evil gutt feeling, etc.
It is not important that your recollection of things in this journal are exact. You write down what you feel. Just because you feel neglected, doesn't mean you actually are. Mistress can then set the record straight for example.
The beautiful thing about writing things down like this is the following: I figured out I didn't like her doing X with Z because I had feelings for Z! It wasn't the act. It wasn't Mistress being busy. Because being busy with Y I was always fine with. But Z was special to me, in a way I was not to them. But that's just my puppy nature. Someone shows affection of some kind and they are immediately my best friend. I want Z to do X with ME not with Mistress.
The solution to this is rather rational, but it really just works for me: I decided to be indifferent about Z. And poof! The tummy feels better. Let your owner know about this! Or it will not work.
But until I did realize that, it took quite some time to figure that out. Writing things down when the heart literally starts beating with jealousy. And you just have to use all the F-words and A-words you can find in your respective vocabulairy. And then you feel better. You got it out there. You know your SO reads what you write. They can then set the record straight. You know they now know just that little bit more about yourself.
So in short, how do I deal with emotions? I write down what bothers me. Once it is written down I look if it even makes sense. And when it doesn't I explore what is wrong about it and figure it out.
Unfortunately I lost the (German) source for this quote
"If you start complaining about a situation you are making yourself the victim. Find a way to change the situation, or accept the situation. Everything else is madness."
What is your way of dealing with emotions? Please share with us and let's leave different advice for all strokes of people on getdare.
Don't burry them! They will break out, and some thing will break up if you do.