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sjsully06
07-22-2007, 06:24 PM
This is only a rough draft prologue for a book I am currently working on. So tell me what you think. And this has nothing to do with Truth or Dare or sex or anything, it is just a normal fantasy type book


250 million years ago, when all the continents of the world formed the super continent Pangaea, the world powers were united as one. The world lived and breathed as one, this was a time before wars, before the dinosaurs, and before the humans of today. The people of that time were split by origin, the Mecconeans, Jachins, Austoninans, Africoneans, Euopons, and the Lationos. However an evil was beginning to rise, an evil that pitted the powers against each other. For the first time in their history people began to murder and to fight. Wars were waged against the other powers. The superpowers knew that they must do something to stop the horror that had swept the world. They decided they must hold a world wide meeting. So they picked were to meet and when. The world showed up to see the epic meeting, not knowing that the evil had followed them. The world powers stood up in front of the masses and declared that they had to stop the violence that was running ablaze, they must stop fighting. Up until this time no one knew what evil was, no one knew that evil had a name, and its name was Galansta. The ruler of fate and destiny, the bringer of evil and destruction, and destruction is what he brought. As the powers were meeting with the world Galansta murdered the ruler of Jachin and the ruler of Euopon. The world blamed the other rulers and even more war waged. With only four powers left they knew that they must end the violence the only way they knew how. They destroyed Pangaea. They went back to the meeting place and they unleashed their full power, they broke the world into six boundaries, the boundaries that we now know today as our Continents. They buried Galansta in the middle of the planet where he would always burn and be trapped never to rise again. Millions of years passed only to see animal life, but one day humans began to walk again. They began to repopulate the new world, they filled up the six continents, but Galansta was still inside the planet waiting to emerge, and tats what he did. He found his way out and began his new empire, Antarctica. The world now had seven continents, or boundaries. But only one ruler, Galansta had taken over and was in full power. A group of people knew that this wouldn’t work so they began to seek out six stones, six stones known as the continental stones or the stones of unity. They were found at a loss of many lives, but the stones allowed the six powers of good to rise and fight back against Galansta. They did so and again beat him, but the battle that ensued killed off all life. The battle caused the stones to again be split up, one per each continent of good. But Galansta wasn’t a dumb power, before his death he created a stone, a stone that if found would raise him from the dead were he would continue his rule as leader. If this stone was to ever be found he would rise and bring with him death and destruction, and the only way he could be stopped is if the six stones of unity were to be found.

absurdvillain
07-23-2007, 12:51 AM
Is that supposed to be one giant paragraph? Or have you not gone far enough in your education to encounter paragraphs?

sjsully06
07-23-2007, 01:03 AM
It didnt transition over from my word document to the forum very well and i didnt feel like going through to put the paragraphs in... in the word doc on my comp its now 27 pages and in paragraphs...

blog_and_cam
07-23-2007, 03:57 AM
THAT is 27 pages?!?!?!?!

Smile Guy
07-23-2007, 06:20 AM
Paragraphs are vital. People don't like reading blocks of text. I know I didn't read it.

And sorry, but this doesn't belong here. Maybe one day we'll have non-truth or dare stories sub-forum but for now, I'm going to have to move this to the Trashcan.

I suggest going to Fictionpress, or another story-themed forum to show off your work rather than here. AND PUT PARAGRAPHS!

sjsully06
07-23-2007, 09:09 AM
No what I now have is 27 pages, that up above is 1 1/2 pages, also it did have paragraphs but when I copy and pasted it over it didnt transition well and it came out as a block...

the Bean
07-26-2007, 03:16 PM
i think thats a good introduction to a story plan. I like the ideas sulley, i like doing the same thing, only i'm more of an ancient greek/roman/japanese sort of guy, rather than fantasies. but i think its a good story, and not hard to read. Are you carrying on with the story? because if you are, please send it to me via email, if and when its either done or you want a second opinion or critic (i love that stuff). Good plan, i like it.

xxxMichellexxx
07-26-2007, 05:28 PM
sjsully when u type on word and copy and paste it here, the indents and any kind of double spacing usually disappears, i have the same problem when working with my story as well...

Bored
07-29-2007, 09:27 AM
sjsully when u type on word and copy and paste it here, the indents and any kind of double spacing usually disappears, i have the same problem when working with my story as well...

yeah it does athough it is too late for you change it but if you put an extra space after your paragraph on word, it will show up when you copy over.

the Bean
08-10-2007, 11:53 AM
its not too late u can edit it on here and just type space six times wer u want the paragraph indents