PDA

View Full Version : from warrior to pet (my first story)


dalbo94
08-11-2009, 05:31 AM
chapter 1 the capturerd angel warrior

In the ancient Israel there was a great warrior who won many great battles.His name was Jason...Jason The Angel Warrior.He would have become a king but something happened.
This is his lost story...


Jason swept through the lines of the assyrian soldiers, as they dropped like flies.
"Hah these guys are abunch of boy lovers" he thought to himself as he cut each and every soldier he went by down.


At night after he took down all the appossing waves he sat down at a camp fire to rest."Phew may their chaotic souls rest in peace" he said. He sat there drinking wine and eating bread.He sat down a turkey he caught and started plucking the feathers out of it getting ready to cook. "Allow me to ready the turkey for your meal sir" a soldier said. "No i can do it myself and tell the men to get washed and ready for diner we'll be eating turkey tonight." he said. "very well sir" said the soldier as he walked off. "Sheesh what is it with people don't they think i can do things for myself" he said as he readied for the fire.

On a cliff above the camp their were 3 men watching him. "So this is the man the assyrians hired us to kill..." said 1 man. "Indeed it is" said another.

The next day another army of assyrians were headed by 3 non assyrian men.Jason rode up to the frontline to see whats up. "Who are you? You are not assyrians" he said. " No we are not..we are assasins hired to kill you by the assyrians..I am Edgar and these 2 are Remen and Sungi" said Edgar.
"I am Jason..may i ask from what people do you com from?" Jason asked. "That is not important all you need to know is we are your executioners" said Sungi. Jason smirked "You can try but you will fail" said jason as he unsheathed both his swords. "We will see" said edgar.

They fought for hours and hours until Remen and Sungi teamed up and held him still for Edgar who stabbed him through the heart and twisted the blade then pulled it out and jason fell to the ground.
"Fitting for the warrior with biggest heart in Israel wouldn't you agree?" asked Edgar as he laughed. "Yes it is" said remen as he laughed along with edgar. "Umm guys..his heart started beating again...." said Sungi. Edgar looked in shock then got a grin on his face. "Ahaha! Boys and girls looks like we've found the fourth and final mystic" said Edgar. "The mistresses will be more then pleased to get this out of the way" said remen. "Heh yeah i bet they'll find a pleasing uses for him" said Sungi.(Sungi is a girl by the way) "Sungi you better not rape him on the way there -_-" said Remen. "Hurry and tie him to the horse" said edgar.
They did as commanded and they rode of to the unknown land.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is my first story i hope its not too fictional i thought i'd add my own flare by making it in the past

i hope you guys like it

molten man
08-11-2009, 02:43 PM
Nice start and a good idea..

Very original.

dalbo94
08-11-2009, 04:08 PM
heh thnx it will get alot better

CollaredBlondie
08-12-2009, 08:44 AM
I'd advise not using emoticons in the body of the text, to spell out numbers, and to run the story through a spellchecker

dalbo94
08-12-2009, 08:49 AM
hey everyone makes mistakes :P don't worry i'll get the hang of it soon btw chapter 2 will be out soon

badkingbob
08-12-2009, 10:00 AM
Very interesting start to a story, much different to what's usually posted on here.
Like someone else said, you should write numbers out like "one two three" instead of "1 2 3" or whatever - it breaks the flow of the prose and makes it look ugly.
Also you might want to think about putting in a bit of description rather than just making it a list of events - what do the characters look like, etc ... then you wouldn't need to say things like (Sungi is a girl by the way).

A good rule for writing stories is "show, don't tell". Don't just TELL your reader that Sungi is a girl, SHOW them... by describing her.

Looking4somename
08-13-2009, 01:35 PM
As an Israeli I would like to comment that Jason isn't and has never been and Israeli name. On the same note, Edgar, Sungi and Remen aren't assyrian names.

The scenery seems to be of around 587BC (in this year the assyrians conquered the last of the Israeli empire and destroyed the temple of solomon, which will be rebuilt around 70 years later). Writing about this era is exteremly cool, but atleast do your homework. Slaves were indeed common (at least in assyrian colture. Israeli colture isn't very supportive of slavery) but there were rules about it and the way you portray it is wrong on so many levels.

Also, this isn't the 21st century. People did not talk like that back than. Most don't talk like that even know, come to think about it.

Overall - a great idea yet a dissastros story.

dalbo94
08-13-2009, 05:12 PM
*sigh* i was afraid of this ok..first about this edgar, remen, and sungi aren't assyrians their assasins hired by the assyrians second im to lazy to make people talk like they did back then so im just having them talk like we do its not suppossed to be a history lesson but i am fassinated by that time and i am very very good at history lol

dalbo94
08-13-2009, 08:34 PM
When jason awoke everything was a blurr at first. His brown hair ruffled.And his 6 ft muscular body tied up and naked but he did not notice.
"Huh...am I in heaven" said jason.
"Aaahhh you've awaken.." said the voice that sounded like a woman. "Huh..where am I why am i not dead..?" he asked. "Your new home...and as for you being alive let us explain after introductions..first wat is your name and age" said another girl. "I AM JASON OF ISRAEL and im 15" said jason. "My my...for such a young child..so much war experiance..so many scars we'll make sure to care for you better then your parents did..." said the youngest of the sisters as she waved her hand over him making all his scars vanish of his tied up and naked body. "MY BATTLE SCARS!! WAIT IM NAKED!! " he shouted as he realized his bareness.

The 3 sisters giggled. "I am Aanya I am the oldest i am 1123 years old" said Aanya the one with black hair and double D size boobs and who looked about 5'6. "I am the Aringa the second oldest I am 1003 years old nice to meet you cutie" said aringa as she winked at him.She also had size C breasts, brown hair and looked about 5'3."And im Lulu 967 years old pleased to meet you!! ^.^ WEEEEE!!!" said lulu.She however had about AA or A sized breasts, blonde hair and looked about 4'11.

Jason was shocked."H-How can you be this old!?!? And you look so young!!" Jason stuttered in shock.
"We're mystics just like you..." said Aringa. "Yes we are mystics the beings that hold everything together..if your god is real he created us ..have u ever wondered why u never met your parents?? Its because you didn't havent any real birth mother" said Aanya."Thats alie!! I am a warrior of Israel!! not some whatever it is!!" said jason. The 2 younger sisters giggled.The oldest one however got angry and lashed him with a whip , but jason caught it with his mouth."Nice try but that won't work with me" said jason with the whip in his mouth. "Heh figured as much from the diamond mystic, but don't worry i'll take a much lighter approach and break your spirit" said Aanya firmly."Huh diamond mystic??" Jason wondered. "Oh yes I am the Ruby mystic, Aringa is the Saphire mystic, Lulu is the Emerald mystic..and you.. Jason of Israel are the Diamond mystic the fourth and final" said Aanya. "Hehe we can't have out fighting wars everyday silly , we need somewhere we can watch you , and im happy it means I have someone new to play with!!" said Lulu cheerfully."Yes we cannot die but if we're hurt the world is.." said Aringa. "Listen I will not give up my pride of Israel nor my belief in God you can make me slave for all I care" said Jason sternly."Didn't you just hear us, we can't let you get hurt and since you are now the only man in this temple the only slavery you'll be doing is sex slavery...but your not our slave, you are our new pet..." said Aanya. "Now girls would you mind giving this dirty boy a bath he stinks" Lulu said giggling. "Yes bathe him and remember to bound him to the chains on the side of the bathing pool, after he is properly bathed, we start his training as our new temple pet" said Aanya with a grin.Then two female servants started dragging him into a different room.

(btw im a big time christian and all this is fiction but im sorry if it offends any1)

Looking4somename
08-14-2009, 11:20 AM
As an Israeli I would like to comment that Jason isn't and has never been and Israeli name. On the same note, Edgar, Sungi and Remen aren't assyrian names.

The scenery seems to be of around 587BC (in this year the assyrians conquered the last of the Israeli empire and destroyed the temple of solomon, which will be rebuilt around 70 years later). Writing about this era is exteremly cool, but atleast do your homework. Slaves were indeed common (at least in assyrian colture. Israeli colture isn't very supportive of slavery) but there were rules about it and the way you portray it is wrong on so many levels.

Also, this isn't the 21st century. People did not talk like that back than. Most don't talk like that even know, come to think about it.

Overall - a great idea yet a dissastros story.

Would like to correct myself. The Babylonians were the ones who conquered the last of the Israeli empire and destroyed the Temple of Solomon.

The campaign against the Assyrians took place a few decades before that, with the Israelis triumphing in the end.

That what happens when you write about ancient history in the middle of the night :)

dalbo94
08-14-2009, 01:59 PM
lol i say again this is a fictional story not a historical 1i just used israel and the assyrians because thats my favorite historical era but this is magical and fictional so yea

cheesey923
08-16-2009, 04:00 PM
oh shut up and write lol jk dude good story though

molten man
08-24-2009, 03:44 PM
Great continuation!!!

dalbo94
01-05-2010, 09:54 PM
Chapter 3 bathing room and pet "training"

As they dragged him into the bathing room Jason saw many naked women.He tried to close his eyes to not shame himself, but all the giggling made it hard.They dragged Jason to the side of the pool and chained him to the side of the pool. He sat there as 2 female servents washed him very.... thoroughly. "What is wrong with these people....." he thought. "Oh he's not clean enough" said another female servent. "Yes theres 1 spot that must be very clean" another servent said. Then all the female servents gradually surrounded him and all got soap and start to rub his crotch with the soap. "AAAaaahhhh..please stop!!" he pleaded with a blush. But they did not stop they kept on until..
"HEY WATS GOING ON HERE!?!" shouted Aringa. "misstress we were just washing him.." pleaded a servent. "WASHING!? I think his think his dick is clean enough, you were about to take the pleasure of taking away his innocence away from me!! NOW GET IN A LINE BEND OVER AND IF THEY AREN'T ALREADY BARE YOUR ASSES!!!" Aringa ordered. All the servents did so ,and a paddle made of ice materialized in her hand. "And Jason watch carefully this is what happens to you when your a naughty boy" she said as she winked at him.Then she paddle each servents bare ass numerous times."Now that thats over with get him dressed and bring him in the throne room" said Aringa. The girls asses red and sore with tears in their eyes took Jason and put him in a nicely decorated white robe and dragged him into the throne room."Ok.." said Aanya "To start your pet training, me and my sisters will start doing things to you or making you do things i will start " said Aanya. She then touched his arm and he felt himself be control like a puppet. "Wat the!?" shouted Jason. He then was forced to walk and sit down at a table he then bound himself to the chair."Good.." said Aanya "Now open wide...." said Aanya as she pull a piece of ham of a plate and started moving it to Jasons. "NO STOP THATS A DIRTY ANIMAL!! PLEASE STOP!!" pleaded Jason. "Sssshhhh..." hushed Aanya as she forced it into his mouth an made him eat it. She did this until he had enough."Now...." said Aringa with a mischevious grin on her face."It's my turn so bye bye robes." She said.Then she dragged him into a private room.She then ripped of his robed leaving him naked then tied him to the bed. "What are you...doing.." Jason said with a huge blush on his face."Ssshhh...you just lay back and relax..." said Aringa as she started to open her robe."No I can't im not mar-"Jason was stopped in mid sentence by Aringa who grabbed his dick. "Ssshhh..your so cute..yet you need to grow up some..i'll take care of that..." said Aringa as she got fully naked.She then took him into her mouth and blew him.Jason couldn't control himself and came."Good...now we can fully start.." said Aringa.
*A few hours later*

"Mmmh i haven't that much fun in aloonng time...well he's yours Lulu" said Aringa as she put a robe around him. "May we do this in private?" asked Lulu. "Sure" said her sisters then left.
"what are you gonna do to me...?" asked Jason in despair."Soften you up abit^^ " said Lulu cheerfully. "huh..?" wondered Jason. "Just relax" said Lulu as she touched his forehead. She then saw all the evil in his heart. "..S-s-so many people you killed...y-your pure evil..." said Lulu with a horrified look on her face. "Your wrong..im not... every person I've ever killed...was to keep Israel safe...every person i've killed I have sorrow in my heart for..." said Jason with tears in his eyes.
"Y-your right..i see it..." said Lulu as she held him close to her."Now tell me about your childhood.." said Lulu as she laid his head in her lap."W-when i was just barily 5, bandits broke into our house, and killed my mom and Dad...I grabbed my fathers sword and killed them..." said Jason slowly. Lulu held him closer to him. "A general to 1 of Israels armies took me in and trained me.... YOU didn't see the scars on my back.." Said Jason.
He turned around and showed his back to her.She saw many scars made from a whip."Oh my gosh...." said Lulu in shock."Everytime i messed up in my training he whipped me with his slave whip." Said Jason in despair. "Ithen was put in the army and the killing began.." said Jason. "Jason..its ok now...you make think this is bad..but your safe now..you don't have to go on killing anymore..we will take care..your 15..its time you lived in peace..." She stated as she healed the scars on his back. "And don't worry the only whipping you'll get here is a paddle to your cute little behind if you misbehave." She giggled and he smiled weakly."your so cute without all the scars" she said as she squeezed him really tight.He was forever changed.
He was no longer a warrior for the armies of Israel.He belonged to them.

--------------------------------------------------
sorry about the long wait i hope this story isn't too far off the topic of dares and slaves

Pikachu
01-13-2010, 06:16 AM
This is a great story keep it up

dalbo94
01-14-2010, 09:28 PM
"Finally done with the pet Lulu?" said Aanya.
"His name is cutie get it right!!" said Aringa.
"You both are wrong..his name is little brother.." said Lulu. They all began arguing."You all can call me whatever what you want..no more struggling im yours..." said Jason then he yawned. "Why am I so tired...i used to be able to stay up days at a time atleast thats what my stepfather trained me to do.." said Jason "YAY!! And I altered your body, Aringa can still have her fun with you, but in mystic years your alittle kid, time you start acting like one and that means earlier bedtime for you." said Lulu cheerfully. "I suppose it is time for slumber, everyone into the slumber room!!" said Aanya. Jason followed everyone to a room with a huge round bed so big everyone in the building can sleep on it.It had a roof over and curtains around it to block any cold air.The servents started pulling out blankets and pillows, getting into their night gowns, even the sisters changed.After this the servents started crawling on the bed. "I'll sleep on the ground if you don't mind, im too used to the ground to lay on some luxurious bed." said Jason. "Nope you'll get in bed with us, you coud get sick on the floor, especially during the winter." said Lulu as she dragged Jason to the middle of the bed. Aanya pulled out a magnificant quilt, and Aringa pulled out the pillows. "why you only getting three? We need four now because of the pet." said Aanya. "I reserved a special pillow for cutie." said Aringa with a grin on her face.Aanya and Aringa then crawled to the middle of the bed and met up with Jason, and Lulu "Its not proper for a man too sleep with a woman unless he's married to her." Jason said with a blush on his face."Aaah shut up little brother. And doesn't he have to sleep in the middle of both you guys like me since he's the youngest?" said Lulu.
"But im a man-" Jason was interrupted. "Yes i can't wait to snuggle with his cute body." said Aringa.
"Wait why is there only 3 pillows what about little brother?" asked Lulu. "I reserved a special pillow for him" said Aringa."Aringa -_-, wait he can't sleeps in those clothes."Oh yeah I got these made for him, he's gonna look so cute!!" said Aringa as she puled out light blue pajamas with clouds on them. "No no no!!" protested Jason. They literally had restrain him with their powers and undress him and slip the pajamas. "A-amazing he's so strong even when hasn't trained his mystic powers." said Aanya amazed."Ok lights out!! Any servent who doesn't get to bed will be spanked for mistreating their body." commanded Aanya. Aringa was laying down then she pulled down Jason and held him to her breasts making him use them like a pillow "W-what are you doing!?" jason shouted with a huge blush on his face. "These are your pillows sleep well cutie." Aringa said holding him there. Aanya then clapped her hands putting out the torch then she pulled the quilt over them and snuggled close to Lulu who was hugging Jason. "I always wanted a little brother to take care of..now I do.." said LULU as she fell asleep.Jason quickly fell asleep too, aswell as everyone else.