Love

[Lonelyangel]

I am so confused, I'm in love with this girl, she's nto the prettyest, nor the smartest or anything else but i'm completely 100% in love with her. Yet still i try to push her towards this other guy who admittily i lust over and she's crazy about (complicated love triangle), despite the fact i want to be with her and just hold her as we listen to Rufus Wainright or watch some super camp film. I want her to be happy, but i don't know who'd make her happier me or this other guy. I get so incredibly jealous when i see them together that it breaks me and physically hurts. She's even said that me and her are soul mates but we're so fucked up that it'll never happen. I cry everytime i think of something remotely bad happening to her or her leaving to go somewhere. I've felt like this about her for 1 year 1 month and 16 days, and we've tryed dating before but neither of us were emotionally ready i think. The last time i told her how i felt she didn't take it to well (we didn't talk for a month). I've tryed getting over her every way i know how but nothing works. I just need to know how to act, should i push her to go with this other guy (who is amazing in all most every single way), just leave it as it is. Oh god please can someone help me? I've gotten to point of severe desperation! Please help me!

[TheLittleStrawberry]

In the end... You have to do what's right for you.

People do things for two reasons mainly. The nr. 1 is to avoid pain and the second is to gain pleasure.
I don't see where either of those fit in, and what you're doing now is leaving you with a broken heart as I see it. My very cliché advice would be: Just outright tell her.
Tell her what a wonderful creature you think she is, and that you're in love with her... But of course, love can ruin friendships. You might want go slow in this.
First, I'd like to know: Why are you pushing her towards this other guy when you 're in love with her yourself?
Sure he can be wonderful and perfect and whatnot. But who says that you aren't?
Maybe you want what's best for her, but that would be admitting that this guy is better than you for her. That's either your insecurity showing, or maybe you saw that they have more common interests and are more compatible. But can you be sure?
And how can you be sure you can't provide the same for her? or even more?

I'd say stop pushing her towards this other guy. She said you are soulmates herself... Sure she added about the part that you can't be together. But who knows, maybe there's something else behind it. Maybe she just can't outright admit that she also has a crush on you. You could be lucky. Or she could.

So... Tell her... Or subtly act more and more caring towards her... I don't know her personality so I can't give advice on how to act around her, but take it slow... And forget about this other guy for a moment. Think about yourself and your own welfare.
As I said; In the end it's about how you feel.... So choose wisely.

[Lonelyangel]

"First, I'd like to know: Why are you pushing her towards this other guy when you 're in love with her yourself?" I See this is mostly because i KNOW they have the same feelings towards one another, where as i'm unsure as to how she feels about me. Also i feel as though i had my shot with her. As to those to having more in common it's not so much that as it is me feeling that they are well balenced together and i can see them both being happy together.

[TheLittleStrawberry]

Well as I said, love can ruin friendships... And if they are both into each other, ruining it might be a bad idea. But you don't know how she feels about you. Maybe he is just her second choice, but I can't know that. If you feel you are strong enough, maybe you should just let them be them be. Be if it would make you feel better, knowing where you stand, you should do that.
Clarification could help maybe. But be sure not to put pressure on her if you ask her.

But otherwise I don't know... You haven't told a whole lot about the situation, and I don't know what you have already tried. THis seems like a painful dilemma...

I hope all goes well for you. :)