The Rhyming Couplet Game

[iSpuds]

This game is fun and easy, too:
Just write your rhymes in lines of two.

[SluttyPig]

My name is Serena, I love the color pink
I will fall on my ass if you take me to a ice skating rink.

Obviously this isn't my strong suit lol

[iSpuds]

I flop at skating rinks as well;
I'm uncoordinated as hell. :p

[SluttyPig]

It's hard to stay balanced on funny skating shoes
I swerve around all crazy like I've had too much booze

[pet monkey]

I never did well skating on the ice
I fell on my bottom which wasn't too nice

[iSpuds]

It's clear that some humans shouldn't glide
lest they fall squarely on their backside!

[pet monkey]

Skating on four wheels was never an issue
Only on ice did I stuff my pants with tissue.

[SluttyPig]

I didn't know what the word lest meant until today
It's so formal, it sounds like it'd be said by Hamilton on broadway

[pet monkey]

Switching the topic was probably for the best
The old one was tired and needed a rest

[SluttyPig]

I agree, that's very true
let's switch it to kangaroos!

[wolf82]

Oh you wanna talk about kangaroos?
That's cool, I just hope a ghost doesn't go boo!

[SluttyPig]

You're so silly but the ghosts will stay away
As long as you remember to close the doorway

[wolf82]

I will always close the doorway
Especially if we go to Norway

[SluttyPig]

If we go to Norway and go to jail
I hope no one will pay the bail

http://static3.businessinsider.com/image/5445675d6da811ca7381f50b-960/living-room-holden-prison.png

(That's a Norwegian jail cell's living room)

[wolf82]

That's okay if no one pays the bail
Just tell the mailman to forward our mail

[Runesmith]

Why do you assume mail carrier's male?
Sometimes a female delivers the mail.

[Masterwants]

Soon my parcels will be delivered by drone
Controlled by the postie via an app on their phone

[iSpuds]

Delivery by drone would be pretty neat
If they'd stop sending mine to the house down the street -_-

[pet monkey]

I don't think drones would be any better
Just bring my package along with my letter

[Runesmith]

Who writes letters, in this day and age?
Except your granddad - a reclusive sage.

[iSpuds]

I like letters, I rarely get post!
Letters from Monkey make me smile the most :3

[Runesmith]

Even the thought of it turns me pale
I've never seen a monkey deliver the mail

[Masterwants]

How awesome if a postal Ape
Was making my letter box gape

[Runesmith]

Are you just making an idle boast?
Or is your mailbox full of Christmas post?

[Masterwants]

Well something is definitely bulging
And it's not due to festive indulging

[Runesmith]

Bulging can be due to many different things
Maybe it's best to see what tomorrow brings

[Masterwants]

I'm desperately hoping that this load
Isn't volatile and liable to explode

[Runesmith]

All I know is that if the bulge is prominent
It's a clear indication an explosion's imminent

[Masterwants]

Oh really, then this could get quite messy
There's a large jar of jam sent by Aunt Bessie

[Runesmith]

Is aunt Bessie the one with big tits?
Whose orgasms are loud and resemble fits?

[Wolf007]

Nono, it's the one with the saggy ass.
She drinks rootbeer and smokes the grass.

[Masterwants]

Yes, the one that's a devout Catholic Nun
Who deals pills n powder for fun

[Runesmith]

Then who was your aunt that got groped in the dark,
While the rest of the lads played cricket in the park?

[Wolf007]

That would be aunt Stella, the gypsy queen.
Honestly the ugliest bat you've ever seen.

[Runesmith]

And as for Rodney, her hot little sister,
Is it really true she was born a mister?

[Wolf007]

Indeed she was born as a rather large man.
Then one day he decided to throw his nuts into the frying pan.

[Masterwants]

And now she's such a hit
With her extra chesticle bits

[Runesmith]

I wish you would take some time
And make sure your couplets rhyme

[Wolf007]

I've got to agree with Runesmith on this one.
Otherwise the fun of this game would be gone.

[Runesmith]

Lest people think we are intellectual runts,
Let's start discussing academic stunts

[jtruman94]

"'Tis what shall be" said the master in a fit of rage,
Her cheeks puffed red, as she got locked in her cage.

[Runesmith]

On the bank of the Moskva, along Tverskaya street
Comes a Noviy Russkiy, in this game to compete

[Wolf007]

But "the Belgians are the bravest off all Gallians" a Roman warlord once said.

He really didn't knew them at all, i'll bet.

[Runesmith]

Today Belgian women show their creamy tits in plunging decolletes
While the once feared warriors make sea-horse shaped chocolates

[Wolf007]

According to the great German tale, Hildi got rescued by her savior.

The legend should mention that she was extremely attracted to his masochistic behavior.

[Runesmith]

The elder eddas speak of the thunder god Thor
DC comics turned him in to a cheap male whore

[cooperjess]

A miracle they didn't end up broke,
After they'd made the Thunder God a joke.

[Runesmith]

I'd bet that Loki shot his wad
The day they made suicide squad

[Runesmith]

Is there truly no one in these pits,
Who would dare match my wits?

[nina@]

Posting alone in this deserted pit, doesn't that make you feel bored!
Seems unfair to your self-proclaimed wits, as the thread remains unexplored!! :cool:

[jtruman94]

And then arrived the one who left, the one who had yet to be beaten
For he had heard of a worthy foe, a challenge that shone like a beacon.

[Runesmith]

Another challenger comes to match my rhyme
He too, shall depart without a dime

[nina@]

The second challenger how you ignore!
Is it because she surpasses wits of yours!!

[Runesmith]

A battle of wits does neither of us harm
Intelligence adds to a submissive's charm

[nina@]

You make it seem like sub's are a different specie!
A witty battle sounds fun but rhyming is not my niche!!:p

[Runesmith]

You rhymes are decent and show you mean business
Let me now wish you an excellent Christmas

[nina@]

Yuletide greetings to you too Runesmith
Hope we can enjoy in this rhyming pit!!

[Runesmith]

Mulled wine, gifts and the Christmas feast
Brings up the spirits of even this atheist

[Wolf007]

Not even the tingling bells of Christmas can hold me from this rhyming game.
Although consuming large amounts of cheap wine, makes this one rather lame.

[nina@]

Now! Dasher, Dancer, Prancer or any other reindeer name
Still cannot match Rudolf the red nosed reindeer's fame!!

[Runesmith]

Writing couplets after a Christmas dinner
Brings out the best and makes you a winner

[cooperjess]

But my couplets are bad, my mind is murky:
I'm still so god-damned full of turkey!

[Masterwants]

But i think it's the creamy Stilton cheese
That makes the words rhyme with such ease

[Runesmith]

It's really those oysters, with rosemary vinegar
That make you boisterous, and rhyme for longer

[Masterwants]

It's really the Christmas pud
That makes me so damn good

[nina@]

The turkey, the cheese, the pud and the oyster!
All make me feel that I should hit the gym faster!!

[Masterwants]

We'd love to make a bet
On just how much you can sweat

[Runesmith]

Beware of gym memberships, they are for life
Cancelling one is like divorcing your wife

[Masterwants]

I'm always thankful that the gym is content
With settlements of much less than fifty percent

[Wolf007]

All you people who've put on some extra pounds, just chill.
I'm sure some good folks will come up with a magical pill.

[pet monkey]

No one will make a magic pill to lose pounds
All the scientist make are pills to make your penis more round

[Runesmith]

Penis pills take science, this is no farce,
It takes less effort to put a man on Mars

[Masterwants]

Keeping my Mars in the fridge
Makes sure the choccy don't squidge

[Runesmith]

You should throw that Mars away
And have the entire Milky Way

[Masterwants]

But eating a Galaxy whole
Is much better for the soul

[Runesmith]

With all these treats making the rounds
Your waistline has been piling on pounds

[Masterwants]

A few weeks of hitting the gym
Will make me svelte and slim

[cooperjess]

If only I had such conviction
to beat my hopeless cake addiction!

[Masterwants]

Never fear, we can make you thin
By wiring your jaw and your chin

[Wolf007]

No, no, then you'd still be able to drink milkshakes trough a straw.
Besides it would be immoral and against the law.

[Runesmith]

Since when did you care about morality
In a thread so seeped in depravity?

[Masterwants]

It's not that this thread is depraved
But it could be better behaved

[Runesmith]

Was it depraved when we rhymed about cunts
And other nice assets of your maiden aunts?

[Masterwants]

It's a shame that sometimes the truth
To others can be rather uncouth

[Runesmith]

For truth these days, the Trump goes to Putin
KGB said, for blackmail they have nuthin'

[Masterwants]

They think Putin may be in bed with said Trump
Do you think that they really do hump?

[Wolf007]

It's pretty obvious those two had a lay...
I was convinced when I saw Putin wearing a dead-squirrel toupee.

[Masterwants]

Will they threesome with Theresa May?
Or are they exclusively gay?

[cooperjess]

That's truly a triple-entente for the ages;
Too bad the lube money's coming straight from my wages.

[Runesmith]

I'd like a tryst with Theresa May
Despite her age, she seems a good lay

[Masterwants]

I'm finding your plans somewhat sinister
Do you have to defile our Prime Minister?

[cooperjess]

Come on, you must have seen those trousers!
All that leather was bound to arouse us.

[Runesmith]

If I were a rich billionaire with all that power
I too would have a Ritz Carlton golden shower

[Masterwants]

I'd rather a packet of Ritz
With some tiny cheesy bits

[Runesmith]

Wouldn't you rather, el hombre loco
Prefer to dine on a warm tuna taco?

[iSpuds]

Tuna tacos are a waste of fish
I'd prefer a fillet on a dish.

[Runesmith]

When stars align and the time is right
Nothing beats pie in good food fight

[Masterwants]

If this food fight is gonna be fair
I'll take Wagu that's marbled and rare

[cooperjess]

I'm not quite buying what you're sellin,
I'd take nothing short of a watermelon.

[nina@]

There is nothing short about big and round Watermelons, young fellow!
"Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow"!!

[Runesmith]

Why obsess with watermelons?
Eat some yogurt you heathens

[Masterwants]

I hope that the yoghurt you've chosen
Has been taken and suitably frozen

[MarvHarvey]

The Great White North is full of snow
That gives our cheeks a healthy glow

[Runesmith]

I hate this snow, it's worse than dirt
Shoveling this crap makes my old back hurt

[MarvHarvey]

I don't need to go to the gym
I work out as the banks I trim

[cooperjess]

That's a regime that would suit me just fine,
It snows once a year here, one inch at a time.

[MarvHarvey]

At one inch per hour
Our snow has got power

[Runesmith]

Snow and frost make my perfect lawn wither
I can't wait for the inclement spring weather

[MarvHarvey]

Spring's cold rain
We complain

[Masterwants]

Though it tends to make me cringe
When people weather whinge

[MarvHarvey]

You'll hear no whingeing
When the sun is singeing

[Runesmith]

To give this dying thread a bump
Someone has to mention Trump

[Masterwants]

Your current obsession with Trump
Is making you one big grump

[Wolf007]

Let's be careful with mentioning his name. The NSA is probably surveying this rhyming game.

[Runesmith]

Those spooks at NSA would utter a profanity
Reading these rhymes would shatter one's sanity

[iSpuds]

Do you say 'non-sequitur'
As such it rhymes with Ecuador?

[Runesmith]

I should point out this Ecuador you mention
Has nothing to do with your water retention

[cooperjess]

If it's random we're playing, then random I'll play;
Carnation, train station, vape nation, ballet.

[Runesmith]

Too much random clutter is bad
It trips you up and drives you mad

[iSpuds]

Chaos ought be appreciated;
Must every notion be related?

[Masterwants]

If they are it's wrong to jest
We can't condone such incest

[Wolf007]

For now, I'll take over the rhyming class.
Turn your books to page 35, "tits and ass"

[Masterwants]

We don't need bums and boobs
Just sore nipples and lube in tubes

[Runesmith]

Jiggly tits and a bum lubed up
That's all it takes to wake me up

[Masterwants]

For safer sex with swinging types
Rub those nips with anti-bac wipes

[Runesmith]

For people who are swinger club members
There's no such thing as safety in numbers

[Masterwants]

Which is why it's such a good investment
To carry out a risk assessment

[nina@]

Risk assessment might be cumbersome to carry
But it is totally worth it, if it makes you less wary!

[Runesmith]

Swinging used to be a naughty little thrill
Now comes risk assessment - the buzzkill

[Masterwants]

We analysed your risks, calculated a score
Which led us to believe, you're a risk taking whore

[wewhoare]

How much risk is having Trump abomination
(if he's one, we'll see) to rule the US nation?

[starbaby13]

Everyone is stressed in this nation
Perhaps we all need a good vacation?

[wewhoare]

Vacations are provided for part of people at a time,
A whole nation on a vacation is almost a big crime!

[Runesmith]

Then we must lock up all citizens of France
When in August, they escape to Provence

[Blue Fox]

This game is not new yet recent with update,
I've never seen it before and do not towards it hate.

[SeaFlower]

This recent with update, let's give to it a chance
or pick it up again when French go to Provence

[Blue Fox]

Of France and Provence I know naught,
So these lyrics of few are all I got.

[Runesmith]

Did you know French military faces a reduction
Unless they step up their white flag production?

[SeaFlower]

Of all French people only a fraction

believes in military action

[Blue Fox]

Of reductions even the US knows about,
Despite our support of the military devout.

[Runesmith]

Granted your military is quick and fights hard
But there's no denying your C-in-C's a dotard

[SeaFlower]

I guess you are referring to ol' Mr Trump,
we should all take him to a high place
and make him to jump

[Runesmith]

Then you have to make sure he won't fall on his head
With something that dense, he won't spend one day in bed

[SeaFlower]

You probably are right, this would be no harsh
better send him directly to distant planet Mars

[Runesmith]

Although that pollutes such a pristine place
I vote yes,to get rid of that lying face

[SeaFlower]

You are right again, let's not pollute the Mars
let's better send him in a far galaxy's ass

[Blue Fox]

Trump is preferable to the left's choice bad,
That Clinton's lies and hatred were truly sad.

[AbusiveMaster]

Politicians all smell of piss and vinegar,
change your laws and have prez Schwarzenegger.

[Runesmith]

I'd prefer to Trump the terminator prez
Or even a trained chimp wearing a fez

[SeaFlower]

An actor going for president, how can this be wise
there are so many actresses,with pretty hips and thighs

[Blue Fox]

A cheerleader for President now,
We'd have the whole world saying WOW!

[SeaFlower]

A pornstar maybe president, nobody wouldn't care
could even have someone from here in getdare

[Blue Fox]

A Mistress for President with whip up thrust,
Her submissive for vice, who couldn't trust?

[SeaFlower]

Then quickly all the mistresses should now join forces
before the current president bans even divorces

[Blue Fox]

But what of divorces odd in nature?
At what point is a divorce mature?

[SeaFlower]

About its maturity no one is ever sure,
it is always natural to see it as a cure

[Blue Fox]

A cure for me it truly turned out to be,
Never before have I felt so free!

[SeaFlower]

It's nice to hear you free at last, happy for you my friend
no reason to pressure self when in a dead end

[Runesmith]

A marriage without love and a vision
Is no better than your average prison

[SeaFlower]

Better for a flower to live in darkest prisons
than married unable to bloom in all of seasons

[Runesmith]

On a free soul bound by no contract
Concepts like monogamy, make no impact

[SeaFlower]

I'd rather happily sign online slave contract
than have in life someone tell me how to act

[Blue Fox]

Real life submission a delightful thought be,
But if the person who dominates is awful, 'tis best free.

[SeaFlower]

It is awful to have a silly online master
but then a silly marriage is uttermost disaster

[Blue Fox]

A silly marriage and improvement it would've been,
At least we'd have laughs and jolly then!

[SeaFlower]

I have never considered in my life to marry
but many people around me say it's time to hurry

[Blue Fox]

Marriage is an optional thing,
Think well and long before donning a ring.

[SeaFlower]

Follow only heart in your decisions, can never be wise
yet it is how usually nice things arise

[Blue Fox]

Sad it is that distress rises from it as well,
Me thinks sometimes love is a cursed spell!

[SeaFlower]

Distress may rise from it, you're right there pal
but following your heart life never can be dull

[Blue Fox]

Defeating dullness an easy feat,
When on this site many people to meet!

[SeaFlower]

Many nice people here, might make few good friends
to defeat the dullness tho, that always depends

[Blue Fox]

Sorry but today my rhymes are below par,
To get from feeling ill to well, I must go far.

[SeaFlower]

I've met many poets at the east, even more at the west
very few on par with you, when your rhymes at your best

[Runesmith]

Today the poets from East have won,
Until I fly back, West is no fun

[SeaFlower]

Have always wondered, you travel to East for reason ?
Or, if you coming back West, awaits for you the prison?

[Runesmith]

Don't worry your pretty head with reason for my travels
My boss will surely fire me if my excuse unravels

[SeaFlower]

What a pity you a secret agent who travels to the East
otherwise you could have been in my naked selfie list

[Runesmith]

While foolish CIA agents might fall for your honey trap
Bundesnachrichtendienst doesn't go astray for a snap

[Blue Fox]

No virus nor bacteria this day undermines me,
Tis allergies that have this soul from being free.

[SeaFlower]

The foxy is well and up again, her name still not sure how to spell
but the german word right above comes straight from spelling hell

[Blue Fox]

Sadly this fox is still not up to par,
But closer than close, not very far.

[SeaFlower]

My mind getting tired, lets's see what else I've got
I'm starting finding myself in too difficult a spot

[Blue Fox]

A spot, a spot, a dog named spot!
Likes to sniff a flower in a pot!

[Runesmith]

Pot is a great thing that a god-fearer hates
Now, like in Holland, it's legal in the states

[SeaFlower]

Ready to go now I am, maybe deep water I'll reach
who knows if I'm staying for pot late at the beach

[Runesmith]

Make sure you pack a bag of crisps and crunchies
It's tough when at midnight, you get hit with the munchies

[SeaFlower]

Think I'm skipping this, always makes me feel dizzy
I'll have a sandwich instead, maybe something cheesy

[Blue Fox]

Grilled cheese sandwich with soup is a must,
Have this for your food or your day is a bust!

[SeaFlower]

Was a nice sandwich, wonderful the cheese
but now it's dinner time, I order chinese

[Blue Fox]

Dinner time already, so soon, tis time?
I know not what to make that will rhyme!

[SeaFlower]

Not so soon for me cute fox, different time zones
distance though not so big, thank you smartphones!

[Blue Fox]

Twasn't time yet for this fox here,
Tis near time but I need to wash my gear!

[SeaFlower]

Who knows what lies ahead of us, the future I cannot tell
but how handy would it be to know few steps ahead

[Blue Fox]

Precognition, fortune telling, reading of bones,
Can't see into the future while looking at phones.

[SeaFlower]

What our future is made of, not destiny nor chance
in our mind only if could we have a glance

[Blue Fox]

What of the future if one does not approve,
Then misery must follow as follow the groove.

[Runesmith]

If you want to know the future, don't ask a blue fox
Go find a doctor inside a police phone box

[SeaFlower]

What you're suggesting my friend, seems to be surreal
a doctor still nice to see, but blue fox the real deal

[Blue Fox]

Quantum mechanics and temporal physics to boot,
This blue fox isn't sure we'll ever get to the root.

[SeaFlower]

Future never known, those are tides of probability and chance realms
all we can do is find those we love and hold them in our arms

[Runesmith]

TARDIS isn't quantum entangled, even though it's blue
Just don't feign ignorance and ask, "Doctor who?"

[SeaFlower]

Strange quantum games you two both like to play
but a very simple theory may send all that astray

[Runesmith]

What strange revelations that theory may bring
When it postulates a universe made of one-dimensional string

[Blue Fox]

In the end doth it matter if prediction we can true,
What truly matters is the people who love you.

[SeaFlower]

Thinking in one dimension, how simple would that be
but see! even not timezone can't we three agree

[Blue Fox]

Time is relative this much is true,
But no relative of fox that is blue.

[SeaFlower]

As many as lot I know about the tones of blue
I confess what is the foxe's one I have no clue

[Blue Fox]

Knowledge of hues and names,
Fox fails this but not most games.

[SeaFlower]

RGB or CMYK, Hue or even Grayscale
nothing as the foxe's tail

[Blue Fox]

What color does the Flower bud this time of year?
What within the fall does the flower fear?

[SeaFlower]

Yellow I am, but the Fall I fear
cause means Winter is near

[Blue Fox]

A face and hands have I but nary an arm will you see.
What, pray tell, sort of creature this person be?

[SeaFlower]

No need to wonder, nor to be shy
you're just a fox whose brain can fly

[Blue Fox]

The answer of the riddle a clock to be sure,
Joy from it you had, perhaps. To boredom, a cure?

[SeaFlower]

How can I not feel so bored
when still inside so painfully locked

[Blue Fox]

Locked, restrained, in bondage you say?
How much I envy how you came this way!

[SeaFlower]

Oh yes I am , feel cuffed on a chair
albeit impossible to cum in despair

[Blue Fox]

Sounds pleasant and pleasing and delightful too!
Such opportunities as this for me are too few.

[Runesmith]

Pleasures as such are plenty when you engage
In proclivities such as masochism and bondage

[Blue Fox]

Good day everyone, one and all,
Allergies are brought on by fall.

[SeaFlower]

My ex came by, all smiling said hello my dear
I laughed and replied get the hell out of here

[Blue Fox]

Your ex I give a boot to the face,
Funny to watch him run in disgrace.

[SeaFlower]

Don't worry, I'd break his neck
or have him cuffed under my desk

[Blue Fox]

What, pray tell, did your ex do to warrant this ire?
Something horrid, no doubt, to deserve your fire.

[Runesmith]

Never awaken the demon sleeping in a flower
Fire and brimstone pale in their fury and power

[SeaFlower]

Don't even try to wake me up, when back from Asia trip
or otherwise you'd be facing the strength of my whip

[Blue Fox]

A whip wielded by thee,
Could be fun, possibly.

[SeaFlower]

Only way to find out the beauty of my whips
Is to come and taste them right on your hips

[Runesmith]

I have now woken you up, early in the morning
Drag your arse to work and quit that silly groaning

[SeaFlower]

True early at work I am and was doing math all night
but no groan as the chat kept my mind right

[Runesmith]

Drink lots of coffee if the work seems to be boring
Don't let your boss catch you at your desk snoring

[SeaFlower]

Wish I had another job, myself to be the boss
Should I quit today? Let's make a coin toss

[Runesmith]

A coin toss has an AUROC of zero point five
Not predictive enough to risk taking the dive

[SeaFlower]

My coin could be biased, make risk worth to take
as math is my one big love, my edge would calculate

[Runesmith]

Adjusting for bias will give your neurons spasms
I'm sure you'd just prefer multiple orgasms

[SeaFlower]

So right here you are, a multi-orgasmic night
would make this one so much less uptight

[Runesmith]

Before the boring routine puts you in rigor mortis
Get yourself bound, whipped, with a vibe on clitoris

[SeaFlower]

Nice would be all that, I like your mindzone
albeit stuck on a screen I am, typing all alone

[Blue Fox]

Before bed you head tonight,
Rub that clit of yours just right.

[Runesmith]

Another morning, time to head to your vocation
And envy those like me, who are on vacation

[SeaFlower]

Are you sure? I think you're just on probation
Ready to secretly escape to far destination

[Blue Fox]

A rhyme or two today?
Don't know if there is a way.

[SeaFlower]

Making rhymes of nonsense, many I can a day
For even one of quality, that would be hard to say

[Runesmith]

Is it really bad to have time off before next mission
Especially when it involves formulae for nuclear fission?

[SeaFlower]

Who left this man unlocked and free until subsequent mission
imagine him the Aston DB9 driving without supervision

[Runesmith]

Even my lead foot on the gas pedal of a DB9
On a nice German Autobahn, would do just fine

[SeaFlower]

A German perfect autobahn, driving would be so dull
I'd better take my motorbike and ride the roads of Nepal

[Runesmith]

Germans prefer wenn Alles in Ordnung ist
Don't let that fact get your panties in a twist*

*Oops, I forgot you are not wearing any...

[SeaFlower]

Why would you assume that pantyless I wake up in morning
this little shy flower should give you a warning