Becomming slave A and loosing control of my useless little genitals

[slaveboy28]

Dear all,

it has been more than three weeks now since i met an amazing person, a true Sir who is not only looking for some short webcam fun and is not a pseudo master searching for someone to humiliate, jerk off and abandon.

Nor was I, an almost complete beginner, searching for just a quick jack off session. I wanted something else and now i am starting to realise that i not only wanted, but actually needed routine, discipline and control. And this is what He has been offering to me for almost a month now.

At this stage I do not wish to go through a detailed description of my humble beginnings and what we mutually discovered (i say mutually discovered because i believe it is more than just a list of dos and dont’s, more than just an online chat. It is a journey), so this first post is mostly just a tribute to a person who is slowly penetrating my brain, taking control of my everyday life. And for this I would like to thank Him and show my appreciation.

I understand some “spice” is needed and also interesting for the readers so here is a short description of our yesterdays session, which was for a newbie like me really an emotional rollercoaster.

It has been 26 days since i have lost of control of, if and when i cum, how and when i pee, poo and shower, and also since the day i have last felt my pubic and underarm hair. So there I was, chaste for almost a month, aroused, nervous and sweaty, sitting on the floor naked and butt plugged. Not a person I used to be, but a boy, a slave edging upon his Masters instructions: on the edge, hoping not to cum, not to break one of the most important rules. Trying so hard to resist the pleasure only Men deserve. And than in the heat of lust, I have addressed my Master in an improper way. A stupid beginners mistake - thinking not of Him but of my own pleasure, disrespecting Him.

“Go take your toothpaste,” was all He said and i went, humiliated, disappointed in me. “Edge hard, work the toothpaste in, around your delicate knob”. In pain i continued, at the same time fucking myself like a cheap slut on my butt plug - something i have never done before. No cumming, just painfully edging my sad little pasted cock. Degraded, humiliated, dirty. But i had to pay the price - not only feeling the pain, but contemplating on what i have done by writing an apology and 200 lines and also not allowed to wear any underwear today, not even allowed to shower. But the biggest punishment remains in my head - i feel so bad for insulting Him, who has given me so much. I need to improve and work harder, focusing on Him and His pleasure.

I think you have now got the first impression but I will provide more details as this journey continues. At the same time I would like to hear from you dear readers - what would you like to know, what i should focus on etc. I would be glad to answer your questions (upon Sirs permission) and read some comments and advice, perhaps even some beginners dares. For a rookie any help is highly appreciated.

Please bear in mind, English is not my mother tongue so accept my apology for any errors made.

I will try to update this blog every few days.

Thank you for reading and all the best,
boy A.

[slaveboy28]

Dear all,

I hope you enjoyed my first chapter of the blog. The time has come for an update, which i am writing sitting naked and with my nipple clamps on. But this is an easier part, the hardest part is to reflect on my last few days which were once again a complete emotional rollercoaster.

I apologised to my Master, finished the 200 lines and hoped for the best. But at that time I still had a lesson to learn, a hard one.

I think i can now understand that addressing my Master in an improper way is not just a minor offence, it is something deeper. I disrespected Him and put my pleasure, my useless genitals first. And Master decided this needs to be corrected. Not just by a writing assignment, but by a serious punishment. And so I have lost control of my genitals once again.

This time in a way i could not have possibly imagined and that has scared me so much i could not even go to sleep normally. I kept thinking about His punishment: a short morning shower than taking a poo without being able to wipe my bum and off to work. This part I managed although i was alert all the time: who is watching me, why, do they know what a perv i am?

And than the time came, the time i dreaded and for a few moments even tried to run away from. “you are to piss outside on one of your piss slots, not in a toilet. Squat and when you do that do not remove your underwear, piss through them”.

I have never done something like this before and i was so scared, so humiliated even before doing it. But i wanted to do ammends, once again show how much i feel sorry for my offence.

So I headed out a few hours ago and found a secluded spot quite away from home (at that time i was not thinking much that i will have to return home). It was deserted but i still felt everyone is watching me, i could feel strangers eyes, but i took a deep breath, dropped my trousers and squated. At first i thought .. ok just a little, just a few drops but than my pee started to flow, everywhere.. bottom of my undies, on my trousers. Everywhere. I made a complete mess of myself. But i could not stop it. Even when i thought i was finished, pulled up my trousers I still let a few more drops soil my pants and my jeans. I felt ruined, used, humiliated, scared and writing about this just makes me once again wish to disappear, to hide. And the thoughts just keep returning “what a dirty slut you are”.

As the pee started to cool down, I walked (almost ran) home, covered by a coat but stil certain everyone knew what I did, how i soiled my dirty underwear, how i have no control of my useless genitals.

It is something I do not ever want to repeat at the moment, something i feel deeply ashamed about, as i have no inclination to outdoor or public activities. But i understand I needed to learn - the hard way. So once again, feeling small and submissive, I would like to apologise to my Sir for my great disrespect.

I am sorry that I am not able to write more at this stage, as i am still shaking and wishing i could just forget everything. But it will stay with me, just like He, my Master, wanted.

I hope I will do better in the future, I will try even harder not to disrespect Sir, so once again thank you for your potential comments and advice. Please note, they will be forwarded to Sir, as I am not allowed to freely answer them.

Thank you for reading and being part of how i am becoming slave A and loosing control of my useless little genitals.

boy A

[slaveboy28]

Dear readers,

you may have read about my yesterdays experience which ended with an even bigger twist that hit me completely unprepared.

An order by my Master: tomorrow you are to cum. Edge for twenty minutes and drain your balls.

After a month of being chaste my brain went into overdrive….What? How? Why? Will I be able to remain a good boy after letting go of my hornyness? Is this a trick? An act of mercy? A new step deeper into my submission? Should I? And than another confusing message…you can disobey. Can I? Does He want me to disobey and deny myself? Do I want this?

It was an order by Sir - one does not disobey it and it is not me to question His judgement. He knows best and He has the control of my useless little genitals. And the next morning I was once again proven they really are useless.

Edging for twenty minutes, i got extremely excited, horned up and ready to blast. I could imagine shots and shots of cum hitting the glass into which i was to cum. Filling it up with everything i had stored in my balls. Another pull, another thug and i crossed the point of no return. Quivering, in heat. Allowed to cum.

And I did.

It took me a few minutes to recover from mentally one of the strongest orgasms I ever had in my life. And then i looked in the glass….few lousy drops of cum. Pathetic. What will Sir think of me? Is this a good or bad thing? Is this everything my tiny balls can produce? Sir wanted me to cum, I wanted to cum.. so why just a few drops? Me and my useless little genitals.

I stared at the glass for a few seconds, feeling at the same time more relaxed and more humiliated by such a feeble result. Thinking about all this I brought the glass to my mouth and gulped it all down in one tiny go.

I am sorry, dear get dare members, but today there are just questions in my head…

If you can provide any answers to what has happened I would be grateful. But now, looking down at my tiny balls (hidden somewhere in my body like they are also ashamed) perhaps the answer is self evident…

Thank you for reading.

boy A

[b69]

Nice post. Keep letting us know how it's going. It's common after denial to not produce much cum when you are finally allowed to cum and in your current situation I believe questions are common as well. Keep up the good work and being submissive.

[justalex]

you are looking so down to your genital, be motivated...

[slaveboy28]

Dear readers,

yesterday my journey into slavery continued with another twist.

I came home, got naked and reported to my Master. He read my report and found something very displeasing - why was I thinking about disobeying, if even for a second. It is not up to me to think if and when I cum, I am to serve and do as told, no doubts.

I am to cum when Sir says so. And He said it once more. Cum again!

I started fucking myself on a plug, not expecting to be told to cum for a while since my morning release. But i was. And cum I did. Fast and like for the first time just a few feeble droplets.

Again!

Without thinking I continued my shameful self fucking and stroking. It was hard to continue, no time to recover, no time to breathe. Thinking about it now, makes me wonder how I even managed. But I did.

Drink up, boy!

Again!

It took a minute or two for me to be able to go for the third time in a row. 10 minutes left before my time runs out, before my regular pee time. Stroking, wanking like crazy, nervous… and than my useless little genitals failed me. I went flacid. 5 min…semi hard… 3mins…soft…1 min…soft… I failed.
All I could do is just to go pee. Filled the glass to the top and gulped it down, my own warm pee.

Than the feelings of humiliation and shame hit me again. I am a failure, not being able to even cum - something I considered so basic, so simple a month ago. But this time it was torture, nothing more than a physical release, no joy, no pleasure. And again the feeling of failing my Master.

He will of course think of a proper punishment. And all I can do now is just wait and once again go through my yesterdays lessons: never doubt your Master, do as He says and strive to become a better slave, for Him, for his Pleasure, not your own.

Thank you for reading and also thank you very much for your replies. They are very helpful in continuing my journey.

Real life requires me to be away for a few days, but I will continue to write this blog as soon as i get the chance. But do not worry, dear readers, Master will be with me all the time, His voice in my head, His orders and me following my established routine.

boy A

[slaveboy28]

Dear readers,

I spent a few days away from my Master and they were in one word dreadful. I missed Him so much, missed our daily communication, missed His thoughts, remarks and orders. More about the journey you can read in the second part of my blog where I am publishing a letter to Sir - another task set for me by Sir while I was away.

So firstly just a short report of me completing the punishment for not being able to cum on my Masters demand.

It was once again an order to pee outside, to squat and pee through my worn briefs. And I did it, even hoping it would be easier than the first time, but It was not. I completely humiliated myself, hiding outside, peeing like a slave, not being able to stop the pee from flowing, wetting my briefs, my trousers. A complete mess.

The feelings of doing this for the first time also came back. So it was like a double dose of degradation, remembering how it was the first time and repeating my ordeal once again. No free man would do anything like this, not even once. But I …. a complete perv, a slave. If i did it for the second time, thus this mean I secretly enjoy it?

Once again I ran home, stinking of pee, all sweaty, feeling nasty. I put my clothes to dry yesterday and as I am writing this, the briefs have completely dried.

As I was unable to reach Sir, I have not been allowed to shower for the third day in a row, not been allowed to change my underwear… you must think of me now as the dirtiest person possible, but I really need to do as my Master told me. I want to do it for Him. So I will slowly put them on now and go out, hoping no one will notice, no one will smell my fear, my sweat, my pee…

I will inform you of the results, so for now just another big thank you for reading. As always comments are welcomed and now the letter to Sir:

Dear Sir,

Looking back and thinking of the last month spent with you, your rules and commands I can only repeat what I have already said before. It has been an unbelievable journey, a rollercoaster of different feelings and emotions that I never expected to feel. From shame, humiliation, pain to pride, happiness and gratitude that I have been given a chance to serve someone like you, an experienced, demanding but understanding mind controller, a true Master.
I never expected this to be so emotionally intense, so real and a month ago I perhaps did not understand what you said by me needing control and domination. Not just wanting it but really needing it. And this proved to be true. Whenever I was away from my computer, not been able to chat to you, I felt empty, I felt a bit lost. Of course the rules and routine help but they only make sense if I am respecting them for you. Knowing there is someone who will make sure I am doing as told, who will check on me and most of all knowing there is someone who is also excited and interested in having a boy to train.
And I would like this to continue. To experience more (what exactly it is hard to say), to learn and perhaps become a person who will embrace his role as a submissive, as someone who needs control and who looks at other men in a different way – with respect and humility. Just because they are free men, not slaves.
I have experienced so much in such a short time and I am grateful for this, for your rewards, kind words but also for all the punishments, Sir. I understand bad behaviour needs to be reprimanded and corrected. Especially if it shows lack of respect for your superior.
All this really could not have been possible without honesty and open communication. I am glad I could always express my feelings and my fears. And being honest again I also think I need more control and discipline. I could not have written this a month ago, but today I know I really am someone who enjoys and needs being shown his place, being taught (lessons), even humiliated. This still scares me a bit, but I am willing to try even harder and test my limits, Sir.
My limits have so far always been respected and that is why I think I was also able to be honest about my deepest fantasies and wishes. Even admitting that I got excited during some really humiliating tasks – one is still to be completed as I am writing this, but I will do it. It was an order, it is something you want and it was me who messed up. So once again I will be a dirty boy, peeing outside feeling and thinking of what a slut I am. But I can not help it Sir.
I was thinking why do I get excited when being called names, peeing my underwear, humping the toilet (you may think it has become a routine, but it not just a simple and plain routine, something I am not paying attention to or that does not affect me anymore. It has just become something deeper and every time I hump the toilet, stare at the wall, smell my poo – open door allowing the smell to spread even outside the bathroom, pee on selected times I get reminded of who I am and who you are). I still can not find an answer, I think it is just who I am, really someone who craves, needs control, needs to understand and understands there are men around who deserve more respect.
I am at times still nervous, scared of what is yet to come. But I am now more assured you know better than me and that I can trust you. You got so deep in my brain that you are with me every single day, every hour – wearing briefs, not wearing them, being naked alone, or peeing at work sitting down. There is always you, no one else, not even fantasies about others. Yes, I check out someone (men only for the past month, like a complete pervert) but not really thinking about him. It just takes me back to you.
Imagining how you must smell and taste like, how it would be to suck on your moobs, to clean your feet, to feel your body, your hands touching me, perhaps hurting me. And to even see you react in real as i make a mistake - imagining how one of your boys must have felt as he made a grave mistake of trying to facefuck you and than pay for his mistake. Than remembering once again of how you look like, trying to remember the details on the photo. Your underwear, your body hair. What would you think of me in real?
I have to slowly finish now as i am writing on my tablet and it took me much more time than i expected and work is once again calling, so I am sorry Sir that in this essay I was not able to write more about my fantasies, if this is something you expected. I feel like it is so much more important at this stage to once again go through my feelings and emotions. Yes, they were sometimes mixed but they all end in feelings of gratitude and happiness that you were my first choice, that I did not make a mistake and search for someone else. Knowing you better now Sir, makes me realise why you do not deserve to be a second choice. You are First.
I could only repeat myself on and on, so once again thank you for having me, for teaching and moulding me, making me more aware of who I am (a slave, not a free person) and hopefully making me a person that brings you pleasure.
Thank you for reading this and thank you for everything you have done so far.


boy A

[little pet]

Very nice blog and very well written. Keep it up!

[slaveboy28]

Dear readers,

This will be a short report of my recent activities - real life has once again taken its toll. Perhaps it will also be a bit different as I will not go into many details, but I would just like to once again say a big thank you to my Sir, who has given me a chance of a very open conversation on Monday. It had to be earned tho and I was first sent on a short stroll with my nipple clamps on and was then edged as i was fucking myself on my butt plug (yes, it has become a routine now).The nipple clamps could not be seen but I still felt like everyone knows, everyone feels what a boy I have become and how I lost control of my useless little genitals.

Master than allowed me to express my wishes and fears and after a detailed discussion I was given new orders:

loose weight by 1,5 kg in one week (it will be a big challenge but i will do my best and also try to increase my physical activity according to my real life schedule, so today i am about to do the my first set of wall push ups and other exercise.). Master recently added some more lines to be written as a reminder of my goal.
reaffirmation of slavery - i am now adding this to my daily routine by standing naked for ten minutes, holding a tennis ball against the wall with my forehead or kneeling in the corner staring at the wall thinking of my journey and my Sir
eat your next breakfast from a bowl like a dog, no hands, just to steady the bowl.


The last task was completed today - so extremely demeaning, so humiliating. I really felt like a dog as i tried to empty my bowl of yoghurt and cereals. It also made me once again realise what i have become. And this was and still is hard to process.

But I will try to do it today - staring at the wall just like I did yesterday. It may sound simple to you dear readers, but it is another hard test of strength as the feelings just keep returning. Like the wall stared back at me.

As always comments are welcomed.

Thank you.

boy A

[slaveboy28]

Dear readers,

Sir requested me to post another letter to him, so please consider this another chapter of my descent into slavery.

Thank you.

boy A

Dear Sir,

another difficult assignement writing an essay after such in depth conversation. Words still don’t come easy and i keep returning to our Mondays session (this was not written immediately after the session, but it still feels so intense, like we just spoke, Sir). For a brief second I felt like I have already said everything, but then again I know you have given me this task for a reason - to contemplate on what you said and what I told you (just like I am doing this every evening now, staring at the wall).
I was honest as always but perhaps not direct enough because I still find it hard to admit that every single time i see you login on I am awaiting your every word, your every comment and order with great anticipation and a mixture of fear and excitement. But not just that, much more, Sir.

And than came your words: “i came this morning, very hard and messy thinking about you, slave.” … “Another secret, you know I want to fuck you?”

I was mind blown - “he is thinking about me, he wants to fuck me, messy cum shot, hell”.

The biggest confirmation i received from you so far, Sir. (a specific reward, I must add, as the hole journey feels like a giant reward). I was in heaven and felt wanted, but than immediately put in my place - “a hole is a hole” - and I know i need to remind myself as well not to be overexcited or cocky, not to think to highly of me. Stay humble, breath, think.
Yes, Sir. A hole is a hole Sir and it is Masters choice, but Sir, if it only were my hole, Sir. My hole and body for your pleasure. For your manly, strong, hairy body. Me underneath your weight, crushed. Fucked. Yes Sir, fucked. My ass virginity taken, marked permanently and for ever. By you. A final reminder for the rest of my life.
I can not hide this any more Sir, i want to be fucked by you, used by you in real and i will try to do everything to make it happen, to please you. I will try harder, adjust my schedule if only you allowed me to visit you, Sir.

And yes, I would like to be more fuckable for you, so you could enjoy my body just as you want it Sir - hairless, lean, fit, with a peachy bum.
This will be extremely hard and now i feel like i have bitten a bit more than i can chew - i am so afraid to fail now, Sir. Not to loose weight. I can not be an overweight boy for you, who has spent so much time training me, guiding me, listening to me, my words and feelings.

Writing this still makes me feel like a complete slut, begging to be fucked, used and degraded even more. Like a slut in heat. But it comes not from excitement or my hard but useless little penis, but from long contemplation, from the time you have given me to write this. You really have awakened something inside of me, a big need for control and submission.

I do not know if this essay now makes things easier, or it just makes them so much harder? Did I get it of my chest or just embarrassed myself? I do not want you to think of me I am just another boy who just wants to get laid. It is so much more.

I am repeating myself now and no matter how much I try to focus, I am getting lost. It really is so hard to absorb.

This time I am so afraid of your reaction to my writing. Even more than after my first essay. It is perhaps not as long as you wanted, not well structured but it is, I think, the biggest admission I have made so far. And I understand this is something that needs to be discussed, something i am maybe not even completely ready for yet (i am glad there is still time for training), but it is honest. And I am aware of the limitation, of real life, of the work i still need to do… So please, Sir, please be patient with me and open just like you have been so far.

But he said “and yes it is”, so he must want it as well.

Or is it just me?

Thank you for reading, Sir.

[slaveboy28]

Dear readers,

my Master requested me to publish another essay I wrote to him about my feelings and recent session. You can find it in the second part of this update. But before that I would like to describe another event that has once again made me realise what I need and want.

I managed to find the courage and go to an adult store. Perhaps for you, experienced readers, this may sound very banal and simple, but for me a novice and a shy boy in general it was another challenge.
Upon kind encouragement from my Sir I stepped into a store where a young shop assistant greeted me and asked if I require any assistance. At first I just blushed and told him I will just take a look. He said “no problem, but do not hesitate to ask for help”. I think he was used to new customers and after taking a walk around the store, breathing heavily and feeling sweaty I approached him and in a really weak voice said the words I have never said before: “Excuse me, but I am a beginner in BDSM and my Master would like me to take a look”. I blushed of course - saying out loud those words, admitting I am a boy for the first to a real person. It was stressful, but the assistant just smiled and said: “of course, no problem, beginners need help and that is why I am here for”.
I think he liked the idea of a new customer and we went through some items and finally stopped at collars. He found it natural for a boy to wear one, so he helped me pick one and excused himself for not having an unpacked one to try it on. I am yet to try it but I hope it will fit me as I really like it, just like I appreciated the assistant being so open and comforting.
We went on and I said Sir would also like me to perhaps try a cock ring. And once again he approached me with more advice - I should get a plastic one: “to get the feeling it would be better as it is adjustable”. But than he added “it looks a bit funny but maybe my Master will like it”. I blushed again and just murmured something back. He did not intend to humiliate me, but that is how I felt, put to my place, reminded of my Sir.
And than the final challenge, something I actually wanted to try myself and I sort of just indicated at the leather flogger. One with a shiny metal handle. The assistant just nodded and said “it is good to have something if you make a mistake”. “Aaa…yes, thank you” was all i could say.
And off we went to the counter, where I paid for my new items. “Enjoy your evening” was the last thing before I left. It sounded honest and caring.
I have not yet tried any of the items, just looked at them, touched them and asked myself whether I did the right thing. My Master approved it and now I am waiting for his orders. He understood my concerns and real life interfering with my schedule so I was just given a set of new orders yesterday. I am once again to pee like a dog, plugged and practicing my aim. As you might imagine I failed again, not being able to pee at first that letting it go and making a mess. And a mess always needs to be cleaned up, so Sir sent me back to lick it all up. Yes, lick it! My dirty pee from the cold floor. I felt disgusted, degraded and dirty. Not even dogs lick their own pee. So extremely humiliating. So demeaning.
But it was what Sir ordered and I did not want to object, I just lapped up the puddle, trying to think of him and hope he will be pleased with my efforts.

I am now thinking how far I have come and what is yet to come. It is a hard question and I do not know if I can answer it now in full. I think I should just keep trying for Sir and let him decide and I will let you know of the progress. I hope there will be progress as tomorrow is weigh day and I am so afraid to see if i managed to achieve the goal Sir has set for me.

Thank you for reading and please be so kind to comment. I am open to criticism and any advice that can help me become a better boy. And I think experienced getdare members can provide advice - this would be very helpful.

boy A


Dear Sir,

our last session was for me another chapter in my journey to slavery, to becoming a boy. And another painful reminder of how much I need this Sir. No matter how low and humiliated I felt I wanted more and I could just not leave our conversation. But like I said before it was also a reminder of who my Master is - a person who now knows me so well that he knew exactly what buttons to push to make me feel even more submissive and degraded. And you really brought me to the verge of crying.
Why?
First being told to publish my previous essay - my first open statement of me wishing, needing to be fucked by you, to feel your cock inside me. And to let this be published, to let the whole getdare community now what I have become. I immediately felt dirty and sluty. But at the same time, deep inside me, I wanted them to know Sir, to know what great pain and pleasure you can bring to a green boy, exploring his deepest fantasies and wishes. Yes Sir, to make the getdare comunnity jealous of what I found: you.
And than you reminded me to “look at my smooth pubic area”. My useless dick was hard at that time, almost jumping with my heart rate. I felt betrayed by my small pathetic genitals, by my hornyness. My cock telling me “you like it, you are a slut, you are a fag”.
Even my ass felt empty, not being able to fill it up with my plug. Like a mind reader you knew this. You knew how much i needed to be plugged. It scared me. But you just kept going .. admit it boy, admit it boy…say it. Again this turmoil - admit what I really want and need, letting you know so directly. But not just admitting to it but asking for it, begging for it. Begging to be fucked.
Please fuck me Sir, I am yours to use as you see fit, Sir.
Please fuck me Sir, I am yours to use as you see fit, Sir.
It sounds easier now Sir to repeat this phrase, but than it felt like I have lost my last reminder of manhood. I gave you your ass Sir. I asked you to fuck me.
And than another slap in my face: “you are such a slutty slave boy, I bet you suck mens cock good too”. Although you knew how inexperienced I am Sir, I could just see myself sucking cocks. I was brought back to all the cubicles where I sat, where my naked sorry ass touched the toilet, the smells of men, shitting, pissing. I bet you sensed that, you could see in my perverted mind: “then you need more practice, maybe send you out to find a random, suck and go, my slutty boy”.
No.. no.. no.. I really am not like that Sir… I am not..
I was so torn apart, am I a slut, would I really do this, have I completely lost my dignity?
And than back to my virgin ass - I could just see you laugh above me, laughing at my body and an ass that no one has ever fucked before. I thought about being overweight, being to ugly to even get fucked by now and at the same time wishing that you would change that. To even.. once again you were right Sir… to cum in my ass.
Owned and fucked.
I was exposed completely, but you pushed further and I had to open my curtains, expose myself even more. To the whole world. Shaking by then, being so ashamed.
And than another final degradation… pee like a dog. Not a person, a dog! I got to the tub, nervous, naked, on all fours. It took some time before I could let it go. But I did.. soiling the tub, peeing like a dog. “Dogs have good aim, did you?” I…I could not even aim, not even pee like a good dog. The feeling of how I failed even at this task hit me as I felt my pee slowly getting cold on my leg. A dirty dog.
A bitch.
Broken.
Used.
I wanted to cry, but my sad little genitals loved it. And you knew that.
The worst part is that after writing this, after your gentle aftercare (a hot shower, nice clean underwear - the ones you chose, being able to poo like a person again), I want more. I need more. This was all I could think as I was staring at the wall, reflecting on everything.
How can this be?
And now here I am once again, once again in my same used underwear, back to pooing humping the toilet, facing the back wall.
Hoping I will not slack behind Sir.
It is an amazingly hard journey, a big emotional roller coaster and I really am lucky to have you. You who understand.
Will this be published? It is my Masters choice, it is your choice, Sir.

Thank you Sir.

[slaveboy28]

Dear readers,

last few days of my journey into slavery were emotionally very intense. There were so many new things for me and the slavery reaffirmation became a vital part of my daily routine. It focuses my mind and helps me process my feelings, fears and doubts. Not all as you will see. But let us go step by the step.
First an update on the gear I bought. “You chose well on your collar and flogger”, said my Master and decided it is time for me to try them both. And I did.
I always considered wearing a collar to be very humiliating, but when I put it on for the first time I felt good. It is hard to describe the feeling; I became even more aware of my nakedness, my submissive status but at the same time protected and closer to Sir. A constant reminder of my role, my duties and responsibilities.
Feeling the flogger for the first time was also quite an experience and I can only be thankful to Sir for his patience and guidance when he ordered me to apply my first swats. A very different kind of pain, stinging pain that gets worse after the stroke lands. A few more strokes and my sorry ass became a pink sorry ass. I hope it amused Sir as I really tried not to go easy. I have not yet felt the true floggers “rath” but I got an impression how much pain can such simple device cause.
The cock ring was a different story; when Sir saw it he immediately described it as a comical cock ring. I got played by the “helpful” assistant. Only when I showed it to my Master could I understand the true meaning of the assistant’s words: it looks a bit funny but maybe my Master will like it”. He did not and I felt like a complete idiot - tricked and imagining an evil grin on the assistant’s face.
But this was not the must humiliating thing that happened to me in the last few days.
I managed to reach my 1,5 kg weight loss goal (lost even a bit more but there is still lots that needs to go) and I was like a young puppy, wiggling his tail. I felt so happy and proud. Doing something good for my body but most of all for my Master, who clearly wants me to loose weight. And I so badly want to become more desirable, more fuckable for my Master. And that his words hit me: “I want you to cum for me on cam” - “what?, wow., huh..”. I got so excited, so happy and full of emotions. It was completely unexpected.
But than the cam failed. I got so nervous, trying to find some sort of a solution. What to do?
Then my cock failed me - in panic it got soft and I once again experienced what it is like to loose control.
I failed.
“OK, missed the chance to cum and orgasm” was all Sir said. I just nodded, feeling angry, ashamed, useless. I was so near to my useless genitals doing a manly function, shooting spunk not just pee but I failed. And this thought still has not left my mind. Such humiliation.
But Sir was understanding and gave me a different kind of reward - warm showers and new underwear for two days. Thank you Sir, thank you so much.
You must wonder, but don’t you want more? The answer is simple, no. What I want is to become better, to bring Sir more pleasure and not constant worries, so this is a huge reward and I really appreciate it.
But will I be able to do that; will I be able to make Sir proud? I want it so much but Sir’s next statement caught me completely off guard: “I have offered you to another Getdare master, for a session/task”. Did he really? Who? Is this just a mind trick? Is this person reading my blog? Why would he want a beginner like me, if only for one task? A boy who can not even cum?
Later that evening I posed a question to Sir: how do you feel about the fact that i have never asked you what your cock looks like? i can not quite explain, but it is something i do not dare to ask...it is not that i have fantasies about size, i don't even have a complete image thinking about it Sir... i think about it but not dare asking anything about it Sir.
And than Sir surprised me again - he sent me a picture of his hard and a little tied up cock. I can not explain my feelings, really not. The only thing I can write now is that I only want Sir, I want to be close to him, to suck his amazing hard cock, to lick his beautifully shaped cock head and his hairy balls, kiss his man feet, even drink his piss. His man piss. But I know it is up to him. It is he who decides.

And he decided I need to make another step forward in becoming a boy. One that will be extremely hard for me. I need to shave off my chest hair, something I was actually proud about my body. I know it must go but still… will I do it?
I hope, dear readers, I will be able to answer this question in my next instalment.

As always, thank you for reading, commenting and being part of my journey.

boy A

[slaveboy28]

Dear readers,

Thank you for reading my blog, commenting and even trying to take a huge step and starting your own journey into slavery. I wish all of you to find what I found in Sir.

Past few days were full of surprises and new experience. And for this I would first of all like to thank to my Master, who has been so supportive and honest. With his help and guidance I managed to learn a lot. But the biggest lesson I learned was the fact that I really have to be grateful I found him. I may be inexperienced but I know there are not many like him.

I was also reminded that becoming a boy is not just about loosing control of my small genitals, it is loosing control of my whole body. And this is not just a phrase. For me it has become a new reality. One that was explored further when Sir decided I need to make another step forward in becoming a boy. I was to shave my chest hair.
Perhaps this sounds simple for experienced subs, used to being hairless and smooth, but for me it was another challenge. But I did it and this is my first update having no chest hair. Feeling even more submissive, reminded of my position every single time I look in the mirror. And the strangest thing is, it feels good. It feels somehow natural. Sure, I may look even less like a man but I guess this is how it is supposed to be (no real man would ever dream of drinking piss and being humiliated and used). And Sir likes it which is a huge compliment and a reward in itself.

You may also be interested in what happened to me after Sir informed me that he offered me to another Getdare Master, for a session/task. It still is a painful experience which I did not want to share publicly at first (but was encouraged to do so by my Sir which, I think, also proves, what a respectable and intelligent person he is). I did this not because I was afraid, but because I try to keep in mind that some things just need time to develop (and a one time session probably very rarely allows anything to develop, apart from a short one time “satisfaction”) and in life sometimes not everything is what it seems at first sight. There are perhaps also moments in life that just do no turn up as they were supposed to.
I was offered to another Master (we will keep him anonymous for obvious reasons) and in my humble opinion I did almost my best. But I felt there was no instant connection and I am dealing more with a task setter than someone interested in my journey so far - for me this journey really is intense and important. There is nothing wrong with setting tasks but I was not prepared for it at that moment. I tried to obey his orders for some time but then just ran back to Sir. I needed him, I needed his words, his assurances and care he has offered me from the beginning.
In a way I let Sir down, I may also let Master to whom I was offered down. For this I am sorry but I also felt obliged to openly share my feelings to my Sir (yes, I really trust him!). Not immediately as I was really a wrack and could just run away to clear my head, but in an open, honest letter to him.
He understood what this session meant for me, understood why I reacted the way I did and why I felt he made a mistake. And like a true and sincere Master and a great person he apologised. This reassured me and reaffirmed my feelings that I found someone very special. And reminded me of how much I need and want him. Thank you for this, Sir.

He also said that no matter what, I should have tried harder. And as a way of reminding me of who I am, a slave, I was (plugged and collared) given a new order.
Edge.
I have edged before, but never so intensely and never on cam, guided by Sir, which made everything easier but at the same time more difficult.
I was plugged and collared when I received his first order: edge hard to 90%, no less, to the start of the "tingles" of cumming, but do not cum. Then count to 10, then edge again.
It felt good at first, but after a few edges it became much more than a simple task, much more than pleasuring myself. It was something deeper.
Doing it on cam, waiting for Sir’s instructions: go, count, go.. I was focusing so hard, afraid I will fail Sir as he was watching me, inspecting my moves. Left hand… right hand..go… 5 more… 4 more.. I was like a bitch in heat. Edging myself, not knowing what may I happen if I stroke too hard or to slow.
Another 10 fast pumps… and another…
3 more..
2 more…
I leaked at that time but felt no release. My useless cock twitching, begging for final release. It wanted to cum.
1 more…
Now cum!!
And cum I did…my ass squeezing the butt plug while my dick released my boy sperm. All over my belly, my smooth chest. I was allowed a mental orgasm as well as the physical release. And not just any kind of orgasm. A mind-blowing one, observed, guided and controlled by Sir.
This was another lesson for me (getting to know for the first time what pain and pleasure of edging really is) but also my reward after Master’s mistake and his sincere apology.
I really hope you understand what a bond this created - not because I was given a reward and an apology but because only strong Men (and Master is one of a few) are capable of doing something like this. Accepting their mistakes and caring for other people. This also presents a great responsibility for me - I need to try hard every single time and do better each day.
I was rewarded with my cum and I licked it with pride (it was a result of my Master’s work), making sure I swallow every single drop. There were just a few tiny droplets left that slowly dried on me and stayed there as a reminder of my session. Per my Master’s orders I did not shower afterwards or the next day, which you may find dirty but I was so happy I could be a dirty boy, reminded of my first edging session.
For me it was so intense I was completely exhausted, but I can only imagine what would have felt like if I were not allowed the final release. Or - and this is a better question - how intense such edging would be if it were Sir’s hand, not mine. His manly, strong hand. Will I ever get a chance of such experience? I crave for it…
And this whole experience is why I am trying to stick to my weight loss plan, of which I am daily reminded by writing lines. I slacked behind and Sir found a way to “motivate” me - no more easy lines. They must be written using my other, non dominate hand. Yes, Getdare users, I even lost control of my dominant hand…

But I want and need more …

Writing that I should be careful, as I already made another grave mistake. I soiled my (my Master’s!) briefs with my dirty boy poo. Not wiping enough. What a shame for a grown up person. And I will soon be shown that perhaps I am not actually a grown up. But more on this in one of the next updates.

Thank you, Sir.

Thank you all for your support and comments.

boy A

[slaveboy28]

Dear readers,

Todays update will perhaps not be “juicy” but I hope you read it and perhaps also comment and offer some advice, encouragement to a boy who is on a difficult but still exciting journey into slavery.

My last post ended with a confession. I soiled my Master’s briefs with my dirty boy poo. I soiled those clean, beautiful white boxer briefs which I cherish, appreciate and love so much. I wear them with pride as they are my Master’s property and my Master’s choice of clothing for me. Yes, they became special. And I soiled them.
I apologised to my Master, sent him a written apology (a copy of which can be found below) and he once again showed claws by appointing what I consider a very strict and harsh punishment. I had to buy adult diapers and I am to wear them for the next 7 days. Complete shock.
I first put them on yesterday while he was online. The feelings of shame, humiliation even degradation reappeared, as well of those of fear and doubt. After a short conversation Master left and I was stuck at home wearing a diaper. A diaper. 28 year old boy with a diaper. I was in turmoil, not knowing what to do. But I left it on and waited for my Master to return. Waited and waited, skipping my first pee window, my second pee window until I finally let it go. I could not hold it any more. I peed in my diaper. It was extremely humiliating and every possible insult rushed through my mind. I was devastated. And my Master still did not come online.
I got terrified, nervous, scared, used, dirty… Why? Why me?
At that point I could have just left but I did not, I did not even change my diaper. I left it on and waited. Waited for my Master to return. Until I had to go again, I just peed in my diaper. Filled it completely, soaked it as the nastiest, dirtiest person. Only than did I change and put on a fresh one.
And than Master came online. “Thats what you get for soiling MY underwear” was his first reaction and I knew I did something very wrong, something I should not do. I sensed there will be no mercy, no easy way out. “Just a simple wipe job, you cant do that! fucking useless”.
Shame. Deep shame. Before him I felt so small and tiny. Like a worm.
And at that time I did not even left the safety of my home.
He than reminded me of lines that I needed to finish and allowed me (for me what I am extremely grateful) to trade up to 2 days of the 7 days diapered, for no underwear, naked, but I get a good ass flogging instead. I excepted this with gratitude, although I am aware that this will be no gentle flogging.
I was still out of words, shocked and behind me is a terrible night full of fear. Even my slave reaffirmation did not calm me down completely. But in the morning when I woke up diapered I somehow knew I had to try and go out wearing it. Thankfully I could poo like a slave and not in a diaper. After my routine I went for a long walk both to experience the feeling of being diapered in public and to keep my weight under control. It was dreadful. I sweated and could feel my diaper becoming moist. Dirty slave boy. Fucking useless.
Each step I made was harder and I was so glad when I could finally come home. I did not pee and as I am writing this I am waiting for my window to once again soil my diaper.
But I did it and I think I learned another valuable lesson. It will be painfully hard to last till the day I am allowed to wear underwear or be naked. I also got the sense what it is like to be seriously punished, doing something that brings you no satisfaction, no excitement, something that completely fucks your brain. Just fear and humiliation.
I never tried something like this before and I would say wearing a diaper in public is what I consider a dislike. Not just a dislike but an extreme dislike. Is this my limit? I don’t think so (which scares and humiliates me even more) but it definitely is something that I would not try myself or ever wish to repeat. Something that completely disgusts me.
So why I am doing this? Because I really did not want to let my Master down. This may be hard to believe but I am really only doing this for him. It is not out of fear, it is out of respect. I would like him to understand what he means to me, how hard I am willing to try and also that I am able to accept his punishment. I do not want to moan and whine. I screwed up, it is my fault and my fault only. And I want, I need to do amends.

Please comment on my update as I would really like to get some feedback. Am i doing right? Have you experienced something like that before?

Thank you all.

Sir,
with this letter I would like to apologise for disrespecting your property - your clean, beautiful white boxer briefs which I cherish, appreciate and love so much. I wear them with pride as they are your property and your choice of clothing for a slave.
But I made a huge and extremely shameful mistake. I soiled them with my dirty slave poo when i did not wipe my sorry ass as needed and instructed. And I understand that this is inadmissible and also hardly believable for an adult. It must repulse you, Sir and I am sorry that you have to deal with a slave who can not even properly wipe his behind.
I was not careful and focused on one of your basic instructions which were repeated to me many times.
Being in a hurry is no excuse. I learned I should always put not only my Master but also his valued possessions first. The rest needs to wait.
In this stupid way, of which i am not proud, I disrespected your property and thus disrespected you. I failed as a slave.
I deeply regret my mistake which I never ever want to repeat again. Not only because I behaved as a filthy and lazy slave boy but because I showed lack of respect for your belongings. For something that brings me great pleasure and is always a source of a reward and your good will.
Please receive this text as a sincere and honest apology for failing once again. I will do my best to show you that I am learning, working hard to accept and pay for my mistakes but mostly to improve as a learning slave boy.
Lessons have to be learned, mistakes paid for. So in the end I would like to once again beg you for your mercy, beg you to please accept my words of apology. I am sorry for my pathetic and dirty failure.
Thank you very much for reading this and for teaching me.
I hope I am still worthy of your time,
boy A


boy A

[m55uk4younger]

Great blog, keep it up. I hope you enjoy your journey.
Only a few comments, shame after all your efforts.

[slaveboy28]

Dear Getdare users,

You may have wondered why there has been such a long break after my last blog update. The answer is hard to admit but I think it needs to be said and I can only put it directly. I fucked up. Big time. But as hard as such public admission of guilt is, my mistake was incomparable to it.

Before explaining what I did I would like you to read this update not at as a post about me, but about my Master who offered me another chance and for this chance I am extremely grateful. He also once again proved to me what a great and understandable person he is and I feel great sorrow that I abused his trust and put him in a very difficult position. I am also not searching for excuses. Yes, my mind was completely fucked up, I had a bad brain and I was extremely emotional, but I should still take one more step, try to calm down and first and most of all talk. Communicate. This was, is and will be the only way.

I really fucked up and so nearly lost my Master, because I was so stupid and so deserve to be punished in any way my Master see's fit, because now I realise how much I need him.

Not being able to offer my Master what was justifiably expected of me, but also by not doing this, feeling and fearing there is no more pleasure I can bring to my Master I decided to leave. I even sent him my last blog.

I was also giving up something that really filled my life with both pleasure and pain(-ful pleasure), helped me realise so much about myself and who I am. Helped me discover something I have never before experienced. And I think the best example of explaining this is the fact that even after sending him my last blog I continued with my routine. I had too. I just could not completely close this chapter, at least not before I could go through the punishment for my previous offence. And I wore diapers on Tuesday and Saturday even at work - this time feeling not only what I already described but also a great pain and shame for my stupid, bitchy (re)actions. And I still feel I deserved those feelings. There is nothing to be proud of what I did.

I fucked up completely, as you can see. And the worst part is, like I wrote in an apology to Sir, that I did something so horrible by shutting the door to communication too soon. I turned my back to something what stands at a core of this relationship. And by doing this I not only behaved in a nasty manner but also caused great pain to my Master who was more than generous with me from the start.

But my Master, after all I have done, offered me another chance. Is there even a way to describe the feelings of happiness for being offered so much? You can not believe what this means to me. After two days of crying (yes I cried when I was writing my last blog, when I was writing to him, to Sir), of being completely ruined by what I did, he offered me another chance. What a person he is. Only the strongest men can do this after being let down. And I would like to once again thank him for this. Publicly and openly.

Thank you Sir for giving me this chance which for me, like I wrote already, presents foremost a great responsibility. To try harder, to be more open, to talk.

Sorry for the short update, a longer update will be posted very soon.

boy A.

[b69]

Was shocked to see the blog today. I have enjoyed following your journey and thought you were past this point of not trusting your Sir. Thankfully for you he has agreed to accept you back. Not knowing the circumstances, I'm sure some form of penance should be required. Once again, good update.

[slaveboy28]

Dear readers,

please allow me to take you back a few days, when I was still in shock after what I did to my Master and when he showed me a great deal of mercy, which resulted in the continuation of my journey and also another chapter of the blog. Once again a huge thank you, Sir.

It was Friday afternoon when I had another deep conversation with my Master. But as always this chance needed to be deserved and I really felt I should make a step further for him (it was perhaps not visible at first but with his help I did it), for it is he who offers me so much and is steering this ship. He is the captain.
Upon returning home I got straight to work, doing what I felt was impossible for me a few weeks ago. I took out a black marker and started writing. Not just lines, but writing reminders of what am I never to do without my Master’s permission and drawing a clear sign showing to whom my useless little genitals belong. And it was not on paper, it was on my new smooth, hairless body.
I must not touch myself written repeatedly on my chest and stomach.
A keep out zone around my pathetic genitals.
Property of Master on my groin.
Not an easy task but a task that needed to be done. I needed to see what I am in the mirror and I wanted Sir to see this. To see that I will not touch myself (it is not about my pleasure) and that my dick (no matter how useless it is) belongs to him, just like my body does and just like my heart and soul belong to him more and more everyday. As a proof I sent him a picture and Master commented: “cute little cock”. I was so proud - I was proud and grateful for his comment. And even though it is demeaning to have a little cock (it really was tiny in the picture), I felt good and my dicklet rose. Yes, I got hard having all that written on my body. A slut.
But my Master soon reminded me I am not to get cocky by ordering me some more corner time - an hour staring at the wall thinking. Thinking, but first counting backwards in 3's starting from 1000. It felt like an eternity and also the counting was way harder than I imagined. I really had to focus hard and when I did this, I closed my eyes. I knew not to do this and so I went a bit slower. And I felt like I even lost my ability to count - is it 876? what was the last one? I was relieved when I came to one and thought that the timer must buzz soon. Ok .. a few more minutes perhaps ... than the agony started...computer went to sleep .. no more sounds, not even a buzz of the computer... how much more? I was alone. And I needed to pee and was getting colder. It just dragged on and on. And I was thinking "fuck, can this be really so long, what if the timer is off...". But i remained still and just tried to focus, rethinking everything Sir did for me, what I caused.
Yes it was a very long hour but it was not as long as an hour without Sir, knowing he must be so close but yet so far.
It was a relief when he came back. It was a relief when he said the words “now its time to get on cam, because you are getting one of your floggings”. Yes, readers, I was glad I could get flogged. Of course this scared me but those were his first words when coming back. He came back, it was all that mattered after that long hour.
He was again patient and just made my sorry ass pink, when I knew he could justifiably be harsher. And so, before our final conversation, I ended up collared with a body marked by my Master and a flogged pink ass.

But the biggest challenge of that day was his order to show my face to him on cam (yes, it took me that long!). And I did it. It was just a brief second and before I gathered the courage I trembled. It took time, it took patience, it took guidance from my great Master. Thank you Sir and thank you for giving me time to calm down and talk afterwards.

And it was not until Sunday when we spoke again (not until Sunday…hey, this is just a day… perhaps Getdare users..but it is a day without him). More kneeling, more thinking, opening up. And it helped .. a lot.
On Monday we exchanged photos.
I am so glad we did, as I was able to see him as well.

You can envy me, readers, for he really is a very attractive Gentleman. A Master with calm but strict eyes. I think they represent him so well.
He deserves more praise (much more), but all I will say is that it would be a privilege to get fucked and be used by him, to be able to worship him in real. And I long for this chance to the stage I started behaving like a complete slut, like a really dirty boy, not thinking about my cock but only about his man dick penetrating my boy ass.
Yes, I said it again.

I know that he deserves a boy he wants - skinny and fuckable. The way he looks, talks and guides me, he has all the right to say this. And I was contemplating on this yesterday evening kneeling on rice (uncomfortable and painful as hell, by the way). I did not loose a gram last week and this week I must work and train harder. Much harder to become a step closer to what he wants.

Now back to his strict eyes.
I could see them staring at me when I received a more severe punishment yesterday evening. He watched me flog my useless genitals for the first time, flog what I once thought of as my manhood. How wrong I was.
He heard me moaning, counting the strokes as they landed on my dick. He saw me hard at the beginning and he saw me going flacid as the strokes kept coming. And knowing what I must sound like, making me admit I made a mistake out loud, I was a bad boy who deserved this, I was completely humiliated. Humiliated and in pain as I received what Sir described “for a first time enough, not too little or too much”.
It was supposed to hurt and it hurt.
The strokes on my tiny balls, my inner thighs and just a few (a painful few) on my crack.
I learned my lesson not to mess with Sir. I disobeyed last week when I put on underwear without permission from Sir. Once again I should have talked first, than act. And I was reminded of this even today, as the burning slowly subsided. But the pain remained. A different kind of pain. An inner mental sting of doing wrong which combined, just as Sir predicated, with wish for more, even more pain (although today this still feels very distant).

Yes, this is how fucked up I am. I thought of him, his control and him causing me more pain. Because he is my Master. And I am so grateful for this.

Thank you Sir.

And as always thank you users (especially b69) for reading and commenting. With Sir’s permission I will be happy to respond.

boy A

[b69]

Very nice detailed post. Especially liked hearing about how you felt throughout the process. Glad it appears you've learned a lesson and your Sir has accepted you back and settled the account with the proper punishment. Good luck in your on-going journey. Also, thanks for commenting and noticing my posts as you go thru your journey.

[slaveboy28]

Dear all,

even if the pain from my tiny dick and even tinier balls is gone, my useless little genitals are still as useless as they were. Rightly kept under control by my Master. And this slave knows there can not be any other way, especially after I disappointed my Master and not lost even a gram of my body fat. “You disappointed me”. Words so harsh, so painful.

It is not just the physical pain that followed in a form of a punishment it is something more. I realised that once again yesterday when I was home, shaving my body (thank you Sir for introducing me into “the world of smooth”. I do not know how I could ever imagine that you would tolerate that nasty hair on my chest. I was really stupid, Sir.). And then something just clicked in me. Every object in my house has my Master’s signature on it - the floor (on which I kneel, stand, eat, receive punishment, work out, even sleep) bed (where I sweat waiting for Sir, where I wake up thinking of him), my furniture (where my plug, flogger, lube, nipple clamps and many other things are kept), my shower (marked by me peeing in it like a dog, showering upon permission…), my - his underwear.
Everywhere is Sir and this is far from being a complaint, it is something I treasure and value. He is the one that gave me all this. Thank you Sir for showing me this, for taking control of my daily life. I hope I can make it up for this Sir. In comparison to you, to what you are giving to subs, there is so little this fat dirty slave can offer.

In the past conversations I could offer my Master only the acceptance of his punishment for overeating and drinking, for remaining unfuckable - fat.
“You will insert 5 melting cubes into your bum, for 15 mins or until they melt, enjoy.”
And I did. I popped them in. Yes, there was coldness, there was icy pain spreading from the inside, but the humiliation was much worse. Inserting ice into my bum, making myself even more full instead of loosing weight. Until the moment everything started to melt… dirty, cold, shitty water … no control of it, as it dribbled out. But I clenched my muscles, tried to keep my dirty liquid in me until given permission to poo everything out.
Experience of my tiny balls, hot from the flogging and now my cold, dirty, fat bum was new to me. But experience of burning shame, humiliation was not. “Fat, dirty, messy, shitty boy…”
The shame really stayed with me for a while - during the rice corner time, before going to sleep. And the absolute worst part is that I am so pathetic and perverse that this made my tiny useless dick hard. Why?? Mentally so ashamed, so fucked up that I disappointed my Master, really accepting the punishment, but my body just keeps reminding me what a perv I am.

The pain, the humiliation make me hard… But if you read my previous entries it makes me so damn hard just because of him, of Sir. Because both pain, humiliation and pleasure come from him. Like in my home he is always in my brain and everything only has sense if I at least hope he will have some sort of satisfaction. And this is another reason why “You disappointed me” feels so bad.

I am sorry for a short update but I only slept for a few hours tonight and feel like I got hit by a train. I “slept” on my floor, feeling degraded, nervous, looking at my bed for an hour, but I did not dare to climb in it. I did not. Everything hurt in the morning when I had my breakfast like I was supposed to on a “dog day”. Like I have it every day but was even more felt on such “special day”. And other meals today will only be from bowl on the floor.
Before I head out to work again I just want to say that I did not even dare to pee at home sitting down. It is my “dog day” and I did it like a dog. And, yes, lapped it up like a dog. I am sorry readers for being so dirty, but there was nothing I could do.

Thank you,
(boy) dog A

[slaveboy28]

Dear readers,

“dog day” ended but Sir’s disappointment remained and he made that loud and clear: “get out of my sight, rice corner time, no shower, same undies, poo humping then bed, bye”. And he left the conversation.
My heart sank.
I understood immediately that he was right leaving the conversation: why should he dedicate his precious time to a fatboy, to a fat slave who did not loose weight and remained unfuckable.
I did not want to beg him to talk to me, to perhaps say at least a few more words to me. I knew I did not deserve them, I did not deserve his valuable time and I just tried to calm down. So I left the conversation and finished my daily routine.
The next day I rushed to see if there are any new messages from Sir (perhaps just one word, perhaps just an insult, anything) - nothing.
Nothing in the afternoon.
But when Sir returned in the evening I felt like a young puppy. Happy and excited, once again closer to my Master, more his.
And as a true and experienced Master he reminded me of two very important lessons which I would like to share:
1. Loosing weight is for my own benefit too. Something I forgot for a moment. It will not (hopefully) just make me more fuckable although I have to say that this is a huge motivation. I really crave to be fucked, dominated and used by Sir in real (I just can not explain how much I want to feel, smell, touch, lick and worship him and his man body).
Loosing weight will also allow me to be more active, more responsive and more fit to accept my Master’s orders, rewards and punishments. I will be able to offer him more. And this is another big benefit for me.
2. My impatience. It is something I reflected on during my corner time and realised I must focus more in the future. I need to learn to wait. If Master thinks I should wait or I do not deserve his attention I need to accept this and be grateful for any decision he makes. Focus, calm down and instead of thinking what may have happened, dedicate my time to thinking what I did wrong and what more I can do for him.
I also need to accept Sir’s schedule just as he accepts mine. There is a real life to live.
I may still sometimes be impatient, because Sir plays such a big role in my life now, but I will not moan or bitch about this. I will control myself and try to invest the time being alone in figuring out what else this boy may offer to Master.
I think this is the only right way.

Thank you for reading this short but I think very important update,
boy A

[slaveboy28]

Dear all,

today’s update could also be called another report from fatboy, trying to repent for his sins.

Yesterday my day started with a long walk. Not just a walk, but a walk with rice in my socks. More than for the feeling of discomfort, the walk will be reminded as a two hours constant reminder of my mistake and stupidity. Every step was like another harsh word from my Master.
Fatboy. Dirty slave boy. Lazy boy. Fat.
And again: you disappointed me.
But I understand it was a well deserved reminder and I tried to keep walking for as long as I could, until my soles started burning and I just had to turn back and return home.

At home I was greeted by another message from Sir: “Next 24 hrs is water only, like a dog from a bowl when possible, no food for you, you know it makes sense”. And he was, as always, right. It really made sense that the only food product a fatboy deserves is rice in his socks. So here I am writing this trying to think not of the food but of my Sir who is shaping and moulding me every day. And I would like to thank him again and again.

I would also like to say sorry again for my actions, for not loosing a gram of weight. It is something I once again reflected on during my corner time and also something I had to do “out loud” for Sir. I was to mark my body, neck to groin with a painfully humiliating but absolutely true phrases: "I am a lazy bad fatboy, sorry Sir" and "Master's boys pathetic cock" on my groin above my pathetic cock. Those words somehow burned in my flash and in my brain and they still bring back all the feelings of shame and humiliation. But I need to repent.

And with those words also came horniness. Something I am not too proud of and something I tend not to speak about when I am with my Master. He should not care about my sexual relief and I never want to start this topic myself. But he read me like an open book and said: “treated like a dog, made to mark your body, no pubic hair and no longer able to cum when YOU wish, but it makes your pathetic cock so hard, so do I!”.
He was right, 100% right.
It is after his next question that I admitted “it” wants to cum desperately. And he suggested maybe cumming will loose a few grams. I tried not to get too excited as I was not completely sure if this was just a trick but his next order messed up my mind even more. I was once again to edge on camera.
I could not last long before my useless little cock started leaking precum. Another few strokes, another few hits in the balls, a few more strokes and I leaked (for me who squirts pathetic amounts of cum as you may remember) a huge amount of precum as well as a few drops of cum. And than Sir said: enough, “it” is not cumming.
I was left without an orgasm, I was denied and all I could do was to lick what my pathetic cock leaked.
It was a mixture of feelings. Was this a ruined orgasm? Was this just edging? Did I do wrong? I was so scared I went too far, but I really had no mental orgasm, there was no mental relief. And I felt bad my body betrayed me, I had so little control - I thought I should not even squirt a drop of cum. I did not deserve this. He was right not to allow me a full blown orgasm. Why would he give such gift to a fatboy.
At the same time I would like to say I was grateful for what he allowed me to do. To slightly release the pressure on the balls and this release I will try to use further to be even more concentrated on Sir.
I was still not sure I did the right thing until Sir told me he got excited seeing me. And this was such a huge confirmation that I did right not to allow myself an orgasm, to remain on edge, to wait. His pleasure first!

I was given another gift - picture of Sir. His naked Man body. There will be no details for you, readers. There will just be my admiration, me telling you how much I lust and crave to feel him in real. To smell, lick, worship him. To suck his nipples hard (they are a gift of nature for sure!) To be used and fucked by him. To suck him dry and taste and savour his man cum. And writing this makes me forget about the food, about my last 24 hours of starving. It just makes me want to work harder and eat less and healthier. Fatboy needs to go.

Thank you Sir.

Thank you readers and commentators.

boy A

[slaveboy28]

Dear all,

real life is again taking it’s toll so this will be just a short update about two very different days.

Hell on Sunday and heaven on Monday.

Sir greeted me as usual: “hello fatboy”. I blushed but got even more red in my face as he said the next phrase: “you got to dribble, I shot and orgasmed.”
I was not so much ashamed of my pathetic dribble but ashamed of how much I wanted him to cum. It surprised me how desperately I wanted him to have pleasure, to have an orgasm. How much I wished I could see it, feel it and yes, taste his thick white man cum. I was ashamed what a dirty boy I have become. And he knew it. He knew how I sat there naked collared, lusting after his typed words, my useless little cock getting hard.
And he knew just how to fix this. “Lube your butt plug with toothpaste and fuck your useless boy pussy”. I was shocked. After many toothpaste treatments of my useless little genitals I knew I could expect some pain, but what I experienced on Sunday was beyond any expectations. Even when I inserted just the tip of the the plug my crack started to burn. Really burn. But I continued and got it all in. It felt like I was being torn apart, like there is a fire in my bum. It itched and hurt. And the pain and burning sensation remained there as I squeezed, sweated, fucked myself on my plug. It got worse and worse, no relief whatsoever. I stopped for a few seconds, than pumped it again. And the pain got even worse.
Why did I have to buy an extra minty toothpaste? Why am I such a slut? Why?
There was no pleasure, my useless cock went flacid. And Sir knew that, he knew I do not deserve pleasure. Not for being a fatboy. I lasted for pathetic twenty minutes before I asked him to please remove the plug. And Sir showed mercy.
Another lesson learned. Get fuckable, no matter what.

And the pain, the mental pain subsided only on Monday when I managed to send Sir a picture after a week of hard training and healthy diet. 1,7 kg lost. Goal achieved. Yes, it was not enough to deserve an orgasm but (please believe me) I did not even hope for it. I hoped for something much more important. I wished Sir would be pleased.
And my reward was magnificent. “Good, you did well my not so fat boy”. Magical words. There is a new goal ahead of me, but at that moment I felt rewarded, I felt I pleased Sir. And this is simply a wonderful feeling. To please. To serve.

I must not pig out now. I must work harder. I must reach my goal: become fuckable for Sir.

I only hope I can bring him pleasure he deserves. This is why I offered my body to him when I promised him a very vocal self genital flogging. I know it will be much harder than my last one. I know it will hurt like hell. But I also know seeing me in agony makes him feel good -(“slave may be punished purely for Master's pleasure”) as does any true Master who understands the meaning of both a carrot and a stick.
“Master will routinely punish slave in order to remind it of its status as a slave and to continually train it to better serve Master and to be a better slave.” It will be for my own good - to become a better slave for Sir.

Dear readers, as you can see my journey continues, and I will keep you posted as soon as the time allows it.

Thank you Sir.

Thank you Getdare.

boy A

[slaveboy28]

Hello readers,

I have been so busy these last few days with real life and have also been very bad, I have been snooping around Getdare spying on my Master, reading his posts invading HIS privacy, not showing HIM respect, oh fuck, what have I done, he was so annoyed.

I will update this blog soon, if my Master lets me, I know I will have to accept a heavy punishments and also apologise, if he will accept the apology.I have fucked up yet again, stupid me.

I am asking you, the Getdare readers, what should I offer him as a punishment, so as to please him? The punishment should fit the crime.

I do hope my journey has not come to an end!

Thank you Sir.

Thank you Getdare.

boy A

[slaveboy28]

Dear all,

Work was what kept me away from Getdare, so please let me update you on my journey in the last few days when I was away. Those were very hard days and everything just got so much harder yesterday but most of all today when I read new messages from Sir.

As you might imagine I was not only away from Getdare but what is much worse away from Sir. He respected my real life obligations for what I am really grateful but at the same time I felt very bad I could not spend more time with him and for him. I missed him so much, even I was surprised how much he penetrated my mind and soul. I missed his words, his orders and his online presence. Sticking to my routine was just not enough and just a short message from Sir made my day. Even if it was a new humiliating request and a big reminder: “For making me wait for the report, buy some red nail varnish, yes you are painting your all your toe nails red, I will check on the next weigh in picture!”. My first reaction was that of him waiting, writing a message to me. Like I told Sir, I felt ashamed that my first reaction was not of shame for the idea of painting my toe nails red, but that I was so happy for a new order and a new task.

And an another new task came soon. When I got home I was to write on my body "This slave boy and his useless little genitals have so missed their Master”. As always neck to groin in my black marker. Sir new this will make my useless little cock hard but that does not mean it made the statement any less true. I really really missed my Master. I meant what I wrote on my pathetic body.

At the same time I sent a report to Sir about my feelings and thoughts. I wanted to do good, to make him happy but failed miserably at doing this. I went a step too far and even if my intentions were good this is no real excuse. I have been snooping around Getdare, spying on my Master, reading his posts invading his privacy, not showing him respect, following him without asking for permission first. His reaction was instant: “spying on me?” I felt like I was hit by a train. Completely out of words, ashamed of my actions, scared of my mistake, scared of Sir’s anger and another disappointment.

After not talking to him for a few days, after wanting to see him for so long, I screwed up. And everything had to wait again. I was given time to reflect on my actions. I waited, thought a lot about it and it all made me feel so much worse. At that time I knew the worst thing I could do is to complain and beg so I just remained silent, as still as possible. When Sir came back online it was time for my punishment, a hard flogging of my useless little genitals and my ass. It was hard, it was intense but it was also so much harder to take as I could not completely get away from the thought of how angry I made him. I was so afraid he hates me. I kept hitting my small balls, my ass, counting the strokes, waiting for his orders. More. More. Again. Repeat. 40 now. Ok, stop. No, 10 more. At the end I tried to get my breath and Sir got even angrier when I forgot to thank him for administrating my punishment. I just sobbed there, breathing heavily instead of saying thank you for teaching me a lesson.

What was the flogging like? Sir said I could have taken more, but he decided it was enough. I still do not have a clear opinion on this. I think I could have take more. And after everything that followed I wished I did. I wished I suffered more.

Our session ended with me still unsure if I did right, if I hit myself hard enough, if I was able to please Sir at least a little. But I am so afraid it was not enough. I rushed to write an apology, to try to once again say how sorry I am for my mistake. And I really am. I know this because it hurts inside. But as I read a new message from Sir today I was not only once again reminded of my position and my mistake but I got also extremely frightened. Scared I may loose Sir. Something I do not want, something i fear most. To loose him, to loose such a special and unique Master.

Sir was brief in his message, saying he needs more than words, more than me repeating my mistakes. He requires action and a slave who thinks before acting. And who acts - properly, respectfully and with gratitude. I tried to calm down after reading this but it stayed with me as I know I am far from being a good looking or in any way special. So many levels under Sir in every possible sense.

I fear he thinks I am doing this to piss him off - I would never dare this, as every time I make him angry (unintentionally of course, I literally have no balls to do something to willingly make him mad) I regret it so much.

Maybe I really am just too stupid for him, because no matter how I try to please and be a good boy I fuck up. And now writing this I am so scared that Sir may dispose me and find a better looking and smarter boy. I feel in a way broken completely, useless, humiliated to the core by Sir’s disappointment.

I am so afraid I got caught in some kind of a vicious circle where my every action leads to another mistake.

Please dear readers, I need help. How can I improve? How can I be a better slave? How can I prove Sir how much he means to me? How can I focus more on thinking before doing anything stupid? Is it ok if I ask Sir what I can offer him (I feel there is so little)? Any advice would be so helpful as this really is a distress call and I do not want to be a lazy, stupid slave. Not for Sir who rightfully wants and deserves so much more.

I am asking you, the Getdare readers, what should I offer him as an additional punishment, so as to please him? The punishment should fit the crime.

I do hope my journey has not come to an end!

Thank you for reading and please help.
boy A

[slaveboy28]

Hello readers,

I hope you read my last update where I wrote how afraid I am I got caught in some kind of a vicious circle where my every action leads to a new mistake. And it happened again. Another fuck up. But also another step forward for me on this rollercoaster ride to becoming slave A.

Sir was very determined on Saturday and I think he sensed I needed to face reality. I needed his strict and short commands before giving me an opportunity to express my feelings. It still is hard to believe how he reads me like an open book. Or are we all slaves just so predictable, lacking brain power, imagination and creativity?

Leave now or get another hard flogging.

It was an easy decision, I had no doubts. I had to obey and face his punishment. Hard flogging to my ass and useless little genitals. The ones that got flogged a day earlier.
I prepared and waited for his order to start. A few strokes to start, than more and more. I kept hitting my sorry ass before I was given an option. “Another 40? Your choice”. It was not really a choice. I knew I had to obey, I needed to to take more and try to do amends. Try to make him feel good in seeing me in pain. And the pain continued with my pathetic genitals. 50…another 50? Yes Sir….another 50? Yes Sir. i took them all but was again to slow to thank him. Immediately means immediately and not in a minute. Another 50 for a reminder. “Good boy” (magic words, readers). “Now edge”. It took me some time to get hard and start. Everything seemed to be going so well. It was not an easy task as it has been 25 days since my last orgasm. But I focused and remained close never reaching the point of no return. I dribbled, but without climax.
And then - a disaster. My battery ran out as I was not connected to the mains. Not thinking I again ruined Master’s pleasure, I ruined his enjoyment. I really did not care about my edging (the fact I dribbled made everything just so much worse), I just thought what I must have ruined for him.
We both went offline. Me feeling ruined forever, fearing the end of my journey. And Sir (what a strong and strict but fair person!) to calm down before doing anything out of rage. He surely was mad. He had every reason to be.
When we met again I reflected for an hour kneeling on rice on my stupid, stupid actions. We discussed everything again (thank you Sir, thank you so much) and the discussion calmed me down a bit. It is amazing how he is able to calm me down with just one word; just as he is able to get me to sob or shiver.
It was a very open conversation and he reassured me to the point that I was willing to do a step forward which for me presented a very big barrier. I finally asked Sir if we could talk on cam next time, face to face, with the microphone on. And Sir said yes.

We met yesterday and as you can imagine I was nervous as hell and Sir also said he is feeling nervous. I remained collared when I clicked the accept incoming call button. (To remain collared was a decision I made yesterday although I was still not very keen on wearing a collar on cam on Saturday. I was afraid, but the collar actually calmed me down and made me feel safer. What was even better - Sir was happy because I was not afraid to show myself wearing it. He even wanted to see it from all sides and it felt so good to show him “live” what I bought for him a few weeks ago).
And than I saw him, saw Sir! Heard his strong voice for the first time! Wow! He really is all I could wish for.
It is hard to describe how I must have looked like at that moment: scared, nervous, blushing, shaking, voice trembling. But not feeling I did something wrong, which I think is a big step for me. I was actually happy Sir guided me so far. A complete beginner, a scared young boy now face to face with Sir.
Sir was of course a complete opposite, not a single trace of nervousness, just plain experience (he knows and understand so much) and authority. It made me feel instantly inferior and it was so hard to find proper words or stop smiling like a little school girl. His English, his look and his looks, his body, his words…huh.
I tried to relax, try to listen to him saying how I should count to 10 before speaking. And slowly I managed to express more than just yes Sir, no Sir (the Sir part felt completely natural). Not much more but still. His guidance helped and after an hour (an hour!) I got a few things out (even managed to ask for a permission to pee), the most important one being I would like to do this again, of course better prepared, perhaps even with some notes.
Not because my useless little dick got hard (“blush”) during the conversation but because it felt right. And it felt right because of him and everything he offered me so far. Thank you Sir.

We talked of cam for a few more minutes before I asked for my permissions. And at the end I was given a new order: “the next hour edge your pathetic cock hard, but you are not to cum! (you can think about me!)”. It was both a blessing and a course. But I managed to suppress my urges and did as told. For him. For Sir.

And because he is such a wonderful Master I would like, at the end of this update, to once again ask you for your help (please please respond). Could you please write your suggestions on what I should offer my Master as an additional punishment for my recent failures, so as to please him? The punishment should fit the crimes mentioned. Please help and thank you in advance.

Sir, thank you for everything you have given me so far and I truly hope there is more to discover on my journey to Becoming slave A and loosing control of my useless little genitals.

boy A

[slaveboy28]

Hello readers,

Since my last update I had another very open conversation with Sir. I think it should stay between him and me (at least for a while), so today I would like to dedicate this blog to the replies I received on the blog page.

First of all I would like to say a very big thank you to the users who posted their comments, particularly to b69. He is a very kind, open and intelligent commentator. And this helps a lot, as sometimes it feels I am in a way alone in my journey. Saying that I would like to stress that Sir is of course always there for me (thank you Sir) and is my first and only priority, but for a beginner like me (after all this is my first journey) advice or opinion from other Masters or subs helps me better understand and accept that I am not the only one with such wishes, hopes and dillemas.

And so the comments really made me think and rethink how far I got in my journey. And the answer would be far but not yet far enough. There is so much yet to be discovered and every new step just opens both new opportunities and new challenges. So how am I to achieve as much as possible (Read: how am I to bring Sir as much as possible)? I think the only way is the way proposed by b69 and which has also been deeply and naturally felt by me. To continue listening to the one who is at the centre of all this - my Sir. To strive to obey and to be obedient to Sir. He is the reason for my journey, he is the one cruising the ship, he is the one I want to please. Without him I would still be just a pathetic online wanker, not knowing my real place - to serve. So thank you very much for publicly speaking about this and reminding me of this. I felt it myself but I find it helpful to hear from other subs who have more experience that the only way a slave can grow is if he remains obedient and respectful. It may be a simple advice but a very important one and it really made me think and it also made me write this blog update.

Another important topic and lesson was that every sub also has a feeling he is going to fail. It was very helpful to hear this as sometimes this feeling really made me think I am the only one who is afraid of failing and that everyone is so much more secure in their journey, that they just do it, no matter what. That they have no dilemmas, no questions. This of course does not give me an excuse to keep failing or fearing and I will do my best to achieve what should be the only possible consequence of myself and others admitting their mistakes and fear of failing - overcome it. Accept your mistake, apologise, accept punishment, atone and try to grow. Once again this sounds simple but it is one of the hardest things in life in general (at least for me). Not to dwell on your own mistakes. I will work on this and hopefully progress also in this direction and perhaps even get rid of my all-pesimistic way of thinking.

Writing this brings me to the question I repeated in my reply to the comments, as it really stuck in my mind. Am I a punishment slut who will slip up just to get punished? Giving it a second thought, writing this blog, I would say I am definitely not. The punishments from Sir are hard and always well deserved but I never intentionally provoked them just to experience pain. Yes, I accepted the fact that I like some level of pain and pain does also bring some pleasure but not if it a consequence of a punishment. Punishments really are punishments and they hurt - both physically and mentally. Once again, they are something I do not want to receive. A reward and a kind word from Sir for doing a good job is just so much more satisfying that it never even slipped my mind to instead just slip up. I want to please Sir, not to screw up. Perhaps I also just focused too much in my blog on punishments and sometimes ignored the importance of the journey as a whole. If I wanted a punishment or to experience pain I would just ask for a dare. But there is something more, there is a great difference. The need to please Sir and to hope he will one day use me in real and thus give me a chance to really prove him I am not just some punishment slut.

Thank you readers for making me think about all this.

Thank you Sir for allowing me to reflect on the comments and for being my Master.

boy A

[slaveboy28]

Hello readers,

Once again thank you for you comments and remarks. They made me think and they also helped in becoming a little more optimistic and open about my feelings. It is nice to know there are people out there with similar experience and wishes. The main one being the wish to please and serve.

b69 put it so well: “A submissive longs to please and serve. When you fail to please and serve it eats at your very core. “

My last few days were spent having this sentence in my mind. And knowing that I need to please, serve and obey Sir who really is an extraordinary person: strict but kind, demanding but fair, sincere, honest and patient. Anything one could hope for. Because of Sir my journey so far exceeded all my exceptions. Thank you Sir.

So how is my journey going now? I would say I really am back on track, dear readers. I opened up to Sir a bit more. I try to face my fears immediately but mostly just do as told. I trust my Sir and he knows best.

He knows best I look better with my toe nails varnished bright red (all the time) and he knows I need to be reminded of what I am by also varnishing the nails on my hands whenever I am alone. You may find this humiliating but for me it became humiliatingly rewarding. I never imagined I would varnish my nails but as Sir likes it, I started to like it. It feels good to feel dirty, when you know your Sir appreciates it.

It really is all about Sir.

And I got another confirmation of this yesterday when Sir told me he has not had an orgasm for a long time. You know he is an amazing Master, I know he is, but the fact that he even wanted to set a good example for me, denying his own final pleasure, was what made me feel guilty, scared I am not doing enough for him, and also completely aware of my desire that I want and need him to have an orgasm. To cum. For his pleasure and in any way he wants it. At that moment I wrote him a report, explained him my feelings, explained how much I would like him to climax. Not because of me, not because I wanted to influence him in anyway but out of a genuine and honest wish for his pleasure. Not for a second did I think about my useless little genitals (they are and will remain denied of pleasure for a while). My brain was focused just on him.

And when I received his next message “I came heavy and hard after 30 mins of kinky porn” I felt like a slut in heat, like an overexcited puppy. So extremely excited, so happy, so grateful, so unbelievably good. It was a complete reward, it felt like I climaxed. His pleasure was the best thing that happened in recent days. And when he added: “yes, you came to mind too, during my session” it was all I could wish for.

Thank you Sir, thank you so much and please please keep me, train me, mould me. To bring you more pleasure Sir and to please you Sir.

It is all about Sir.

Thank you all and thank you for reading this short update.

boy A

[slaveboy28]

Dear all,

My journey continues and I would first of all once like to say thank you to my great Sir who is guiding and controlling me. He really is amazing and he knows best.

I trust him more and also try to offer him more, not just by doing as told but by also trying to open up even more. I understand it is also for my benefit as communication and trust really are the key to progress.

And knowing Sir is feeling good is one of the biggest rewards possible. Like he repeated yesterday (we talked on cam again and it was so much easier than the first time and also so extremely rewarding. Thank you Sir) his needs should always come first so a good boy should listen, serve, answer with a simple “Yes Sir”, do as told and forget about his momental pleasure. Only than the boy can really get the pleasure he seeks - being satisfied by satisfying his superior, by doing as told. And I want to be that boy. I want to be a good boy for Sir.

Thinking about this and having another very open conversation also made me forget about my own silly hornyness and my useless little genitals (Sir chose the title of this blog so appropriately as it really is a recurring theme. Thank you Sir). It did not of course disappear completely but the mental reward of talking to Sir and also seeing his wonderful body, knowing he liked what he saw on cam (a naked and plugged aroused boy with all his nails varnished, wearing a collar, craving his words and also full heartedly enjoying the sight of Sir) was huge and perhaps very hard do grasp for you readers, especially if you never had the luck and gift of meeting someone like my Sir.

When I came home from work today I was rewarded with more of Sir’s messages. He came again after our cam to cam (thank you Sir and I so wish I could clean the mess Sir) and I felt very satisfied again. He had his mental orgasm and I in a strange way had mine - being chaste, not feeling it physically in any way, and also not having a mental rush of a Man’s climax (I am just a slave) but just a deep feeling of satisfaction. I do not know how else to explain it.

At the same time I was once again reminded that a slave can only get as much pleasure as Sir allows. And I got more than I imagined and perhaps deserved yesterday. Sir opened his shirt for me! Hot, hot, hot! And like Sir said that is more than enough sexual stimulation for me and I need to cool down my dirty fucking mind a little by having only cold showers this week (he knows how much I hate them). I will also have to contemplate on my errors by fucking my ass on my plug for one hour, facing the blank wall, nails painted, naked, collared and marked "Master’s Property". No chance of cum of course as I need to learn to control my useless genitals.

I could not have written this a few months ago when my blog was started but today I can only think of saying: “thank you, Sir. Thank you for your orders and the cold showers. Thank you for having your pleasure Sir and enjoying your orgasms Sir. I will of course do all that was ordered, having in my mind what a gift you gave me and how naughty I was yesterday, Sir.”

I am also very grateful for the routine Sir planned for me. Yesterday he said it became normal to me now, but, dear readers, it is normal to a point. It is a routine yes, but it is once again a daily challenge and reminder to focus on Sir and to be allowed to do as he wishes. And I want it to stay this way, not ever just do it automatically without having Sir in my mind.

To be a good boy.

I will keep you informed of new developments and am already looking forward to potential comments.

Thank you Sir.

Thank you readers and commentators.

boy A

[slaveboy28]

Dear all,

I am sorry for a delay in an update but had to focus on real life again. This of course does not mean that Sir is not always there with me. Nor that I am not focused on my daily routine and Sir’s orders. His orders and the routine he planned for me I find even more important when I am not able to talk to Sir every day - it reminds me of my role and the need to serve. Just like my varnished toe nails - something I now consider almost like my second collar. Hidden but there. A constant shout: slave. Master’s property.

It will be not be a very long update because time really is not on my side at the moment but I would still like to say that I did as told and fucked myself on my plug for an hour facing the blank wall, nails varnished, naked, collared and marked "Master’s Property". No chance of cum of course as I need to learn to control my useless genitals. And cum I did not, for a very long time now. No orgasm for 39 days. I never imagined to get this far but I know how important it is not to focus on my useless little genitals but only on Sir and his pleasure. And I am determined to remain chaste until ordered otherwise by Sir.

Of course I am constantly aroused but there is not much I can do apart to try and focus my sexual energy on becoming a better boy. And not waste everything for a few pathetic dribbles of spunk. I am only allowed to do daily edgings (morning and evening) which are becoming harder every single day but I am grateful for them and try to do them having Sir’s orders in mind. I do believe this is also a method of learning not to spunk in a brief second like inexperienced boys usually do, although I do not know how I would be able to resist if I was touched by Sir or even close to his Man body. But I am working daily on this and in a way try to reprogram my brain on serving Sir and not my worthless body pleasure. As I said before serving Sir is always bringing me so much more.

Recently Sir said I must be enjoying my freedom but it is definitely not that simple, dear readers. I would enjoy spending more time with Sir, much more than my so called freedom. I really miss Sir, I miss him after not being able to talk to him for a day. I miss his commands, guidance, words. I miss “captivity” more than I missed freedom when we were talking daily.

And that is another reason why spunking is out of the question. Only Sir deserves this pleasure and when he writes he wanked and cummed it is simply a reward for me. His freedom and my slavery.

And yes it is also something I think about - his warm, thick, manly spunk. It must taste and smell delicious. It simply must. As it is his cum, from his balls.

I do not want to get carried away here as I would soon be crawling the walls so let me perhaps move away a bit from “erotica” and once more take a look at my journey so far. It is a journey! It is not just some one time dare (and I do not want it to be, I never wanted it to be). It is a journey of an (yes I admit) inexperienced and shy boy who is slowly getting to know the world of submission, who is opening up. But not to everyone, only to the person he likes and he chose - his Master. Just like his Master chose him (thank you Sir!).

And after three months I do think I am doing well - not everything can be achieved in a day and this is also something I wanted to express by writing this diary. Basically how to start from scratch in the sub/Dom world. I do not wish to be overly smart but realistically speaking, looking back I crossed a lot of bridges, I pushed myself, I was pushed by a person I can trust. And I hope you readers can understand this and also why I focused not (just) on achievements but also fears and moments of, yes, even despair. Does this make me weak? Does my Master’s understanding, helping, talking and trusting make my Master weak? NO!!!

I am not afraid to admit that I am a late bloomer when it comes to Master-slave relationship. But I truly believe entering such a relationship is mostly about the brain, the mind. It is not (just) sex or tasks and dares. It is so much more. And I could not commit to it a few years ago when I was perhaps a bit better looking and attractive (and thinking only of getting my relief and my satisfaction. And yes, I did get it :) - enough bragging.

Another important moment is trust. And trust can only be achieved through communication. This also takes time, especially if we are talking only online. Who is behind the computer? Does he have a life outside cyber world? Is he just another wanker? Maybe, dear readers, you only have good experience but I do think there are a lot of insincere people here and being careful should not be considered bad. Especially if the reward is as great as it was for me - meeting someone really special who is prepared to invest himself in steering my ship. For this I can only be grateful.

Of course hearing from you also helps so comments are still welcome, as they help me grow and learn. And they are also read by Sir who is I think always taking them into consideration.

All in all … we all seek different things and I am just glad I found what I was looking for.

Thank you for following this journey and if you continue reading perhaps you may also get to know what I bought for Sir and myself. Nothing extraordinary but still something I would not buy if I remained the same shy boy I was three months ago.

boy A

[b69]

slave A,

I've enjoyed your journey more than you know. I questioned whether you were a pain slut or just who you were; I tried to encourage you to focus on your Sir vs. your own wants, and to continue to grow by remembering but not dwelling on previous mistakes. I’m glad to have been given the opportunity to follow your journey with you, offer any insights that I might have, and to hopefully encourage you.

I never think a submissive person is weak. I find it takes a lot of strength and courage to place yourself in someone else’s hand and control. Please do not think any of my comments were ever made to make you feel weak. As I’ve said before and it sounds like your last post illustrates that you’ve gotten this, focus on pleasing your Sir. By focusing on him and “his spunk” that it appears you so crave, you’ve made enormous progress in your journey.

Please continue to let us “dear readers” have insight on your journey as I suspect it’s not ending, but just starting as you appear to have found yourself. Congratulations.

[slaveboy28]

Dear readers and commentators,

let me start once again by saying a big thank you to my favourite (and almost only) commentator - b69. Your last comment was such an encouragement to both keep writing and also to once again think about my journey and how much Sir means to me (there is “his spunk” but also so much more). Yes, you do encourage me and your insights also mean a lot to me. Your comments were also always very well put and they never made me feel weak - my last update was more of a mental exercise for me than a direct response to your posts.

I would also like to wish you all the best and perhaps (if my Sir allowed of course) ask you also to have a chance to chat with you. Thank you once again.

The advice you gave before helped me a lot to better accept my recent mistake. Yes, once again there was a fuck up on my side, but I do not want to dwell on it. I do not want to see it as a complete disaster (although it felt like this for quite a while) but more of a reminder what slave’s life is like and how slaves and boys must pay for they mistakes in order to grow and become more useful for their Masters. And this is what I consider my main duty - serve my wonderful Sir.

In order to do this I need to loose weight and I was given very specific instructions. But I failed at reaching my weight target for 300g. Something that angered Sir who deserves fuckable slave material and not some lazy, overweight fatboy. The punishment I received was thus well deserved and it was also not a novelty to me. It did not get me off track but it really surprised me how much it affected me. After knowing Sir for such a long time (I so desperately need to meet him in real too, online is just not enough anymore) and the more I know him, the more each punishment hurts. And this one once again hurt and stung, even though I have experienced it before.

I did what Sit ordered and I went for a walk and peed myself outside again - through my (His!) underwear. It was freezing cold outside and I barely managed to get to a deserted courtyard where I hid myself behind a large trash can and just let it go. It was once again a completely humiliating experience and when I returned all wet and cold to my room I just felt like a complete piece of shit - fat, ugly, peed like a baby. And once again the feeling of shame and humiliation was so much easier to take than the feeling of letting Sir down, failing him. It is really hard to express how much this hurts me every single time - now even more than at the beginning of this blog.

I sent a picture to Sir and he briefly ordered to put my underwear on until they dry completely. And I stayed in my underwear until morning - there was no sexual excitement, no secret liking of my pee. Just cold, drying underwear around my useless little genitals. It was of course a reasonable punishment as I let Sir down, but let me just repeat how much the psychological effect of it hurt. Especially after Sir told me to just get of his sight and f. off. I woke up in the middle of the night after having a really bad dream. Not remembering it completely but I saw Skype window with the words “get lost” in them. And than I just woke up, feeling all sweaty but cold. I touched my underwear - still not completely dry - and just sobbed for a moment. My brain once again got into an overdrive and it took me a while to calm down and once again fall into sleep.

It was a dreadful experience and I only wanted to talk to Sir in the morning - to know he is still there, he did not abandon me. Perhaps this was selfish but I need to be sure and was so happy that it was just a dream. Sir will also get a proper apology for my failure and I hope he will accept it, as well as an update on my weight - tomorrow I have to reach my goal or there will be serious consequences.

Of course when I woke up I was not allowed to shower or wear any underwear, so I spent the day like a complete incontinent boy - stinking of pee and feeling the cold. But I did it for Sir and knowing this helped.

Sir will unfortunately not be online in the next few days (I miss him just by thinking about it) but I did get my orders and also the time to think about everything - one hour corner time (45 minutes as per my weekday routine and an additional 15 minutes of kneeling on rice). It will be hard - all alone but I will do it. I will. To please him and to amend for my mistake. I just hope he will enjoy his time away and perhaps think about me (please Sir, if just for a few minutes Sir). He will stay with me not just during my corner time but as always during the whole day and obviously also during my sleep Sir.

At the end before I rush to the bathroom to pee (I had to finish my blog before allowed to pee and I already need to go a lot) I would just like to inform you of my recent additions to my “toy collection”. They were also bought for Sir - having him in mind and having in mind him using them - so I am not ashamed to admit I bought a new spanking paddle and also a penis gag to keep me quiet when Sir will be using the paddle and the flogger or any other toy/method to use on his fatboy. I so look forward to this (painful perhaps) but memorable experience. In real! And not in this cyber (Getdare) world.

Thank you Sir for having me, teaching me and showing my mistakes. Please enjoy your days away, while your slave will be waiting for you in agony and great expectation.

Thank you all,

boy A

[Forester]

This is by far the greatest blog here. I read the damn thing in one go. Please keep posting here, this is just amazing.

[slaveboy28]

Dear readers and commentators,

Days before Christmas were very busy but I was also given a wonderful Christmas gift - Sir came back earlier and I was able to talk to him. Again I was like a young puppy wiggling his tale when I saw him online. Thank you Sir and thank you also for your orders not to wear any underwear during holidays. I am commando all the time now and this is a constant reminder of my useless little genitals which are still waiting for their pleasure. I do not dare touch them as Sir is the one who decides if and when his boy spunks.

Today is day 47 since I was last allowed an orgasm and Sir keeps reminding me that for my prostate health three months is a maximum. 90 days, readers?! I try to not think too much about this and chastity has gotten into my daily routine. I find it an important way of serving Sir, focusing on Master’s pleasure. My useless little cock no longer gets priority. Sir is my priority, although being completely honest my clit is already craving for some attention. But “it” will have to wait.

But “it” also had a mind of it’s own in the last days. It betrayed me in a way that humiliated me even more. I still can not completely explain what happened but after my morning pee and poo as I wiped my bum a drop of pee and cum just flew out of my flacid dick. It just bursted out and I was so surprised that I just stood there for a second than got on my knees and licked this shameful mixture off the floor. I really did not even touch my dick, did not even touch my ass apart from wiping it and it just happened. It was just a physical ejaculation, no mental pleasure, no orgasm. But feelings of shame and disappointment, fear of doing something very wrong appeared instantly. Spunk is for Master's, men, not boys, slave boys, like me.

I reported my accident to Sir and he once again reminded me that I am in no way allowed to spunk. My only duty is to serve and serve Men, not thinking about women or my pleasure. And he was once again right - he now knows me so well. I am no longer longing for pussy. I am only interested in dominate men’s cocks and bulges, in Master’s cock and his balls.

In order to stop further spunkings, Sir told me to drop three drops of liquid soap into my piss tube. I opened the end of my useless dick and dripped in the soap. This was the first time anything went into my cock. Another new uncomfortable and stinging discovery but it was not as bad as imagined. Thank you Sir for helping me control my naughty dick. It helped for a while, focusing on pain and not on pleasure but in the evening my tiny balls again hurt like hell. A completely different type of pain, coming from the inside. I was not hard but the pain kept coming like something is boiling inside me and it took me quite some time to relax and fall asleep. But I am accepting this and it is worth of every second of pain and denial if it pleases Sir.

I also got another message from Sir which shocked me. “Maybe you should start "periods", like a girl?”. What does that mean readers? Sir just added: “there are ways”. Am I really completely loosing my manhood? Periods?

Where is all this leading to? I will keep you informed as you are very helpful in continuing my journey and I was completely humbled by the message from Forester. Thank you for your kind and encouraging words but I would really like to point out that all this is possible only thanks to my Master who is continuing to steer this ship. So I consider your words mostly as a praise to my Master and he deserves it more than I do. I really hope you will also find someone like Sir and I do wish you all the best. Also once again a big thank you to my loyal reader b69.

I am looking forward to your future comments and as it is Christmas and I am feeling a bit generous, I am (with permission from Sir) willing also to offer a small gift to you and answer your questions. A small present that is known to Getdare readers as AMA - Ask me anything (of course within reason and respecting Sir’s and mine privacy).

Have a nice holiday and a very merry Christmas. Thank you for reading and following this boy’s descent into slavery.

boy A

[m55uk4younger]

Thank you for your update, enjoy your journey.

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

I wanted to wait and only post when I finished reading to the most recent point. This is such a well written blog that I find myself thinking more and more into the sub or slave mindset. I think a lot of what you talked about is something you can only feel an understand (sometimes not even understand) when you go through it. I always like reading when a thread or report is not so much I did this and that, but when you really dig deep. A master and slave relationship is more than the tasks you do but more how it makes you submit mentally. That is clearly evident in your blog.

I do not have much advice to offer unfortunately because I do not have the experience, but please continue writing because your journey is intriguing to follow. To echo what someone said above, very well written blog.

Merry Christmas.

-WBB

[m55uk4younger]

" I am (with permission from Sir) willing also to offer a small gift to you and answer your questions. A small present that is known to Getdare readers as AMA - Ask me anything (of course within reason and respecting Sir’s and mine privacy). "

These questions should keep you busy, slaveboy28.




1. Playing “sexual truth or dare” would you rather watch people have sex or would you prefer having sex with someone while being watched?

2. Would you rather watch porn with someone or reading erotica out loud, while touching yourself?

3. Would you rather have sex with the lights on, or the lights off?

4. Would you rather try to bring another person into bed with your partner as a threesome?

5. Would you rather have sex in the morning, or at night?

6. Would you rather be active or passive?

7. Would you rather give oral sex, or receive it?

8. Would you rather have sex while someone is watching, or would you prefer to watch someone having sex?

9. Would you rather be on top, or underneath?

10. Would you rather spit, or swallow?

11. Would you rather try out new and crazy kinky sex ideas, or just have romantic sex?

12. Would you rather have multiple sex partners, or just one?

13. Would you rather end a first date with a passionate kiss, or would you like to end a first date with sex?

14. Would you rather watch guy on girl porn, girl on girl porn, or guy on guy porn, to turn yourself on?

15. Would you rather have sex with your girlfriend/boyfriend or their sister/brother?

16. When did you last masturbate?

17. What did you use?

18. What did you think about?

19. What was the last thing you inserted anally?

20. Did you enjoy it?

21. How long was it there for?

22. Was it clean when it came out?

23. Girls: Is your vagina uneven? Boys: Is one testicle lower than the other?

24. Has anyone ever found out a sexual fetish of yours?

25. What happened?

26. Have you ever been really ashamed of something sexual you did?

27. What was it?

28. Do ever wear a butt plug?

29. If so, where do you wear it?

30. Have you ever had anal sex? Describe.

31. Have you ever had a real life slave/Master relationship?

32. What is the most embarrassing dare you have done?

33. What is the most dangerous sexual thing you have done?

34. Does pain or humiliation turn you on?

35. What type of porn do you like?

36. How frequently do you masturbate?

37. Do you punish yourself? If so, how?

38. Does someone else punish you? If so, how?

39. Have you ever had your genitals punished? If so, how did it feel?

40. Do you get turned on reading getdare?



16 fairly dirty questions.

YOU CANNOT SAY NEITHER OR BOTH - DECIDE!

Please add your why's, also.

1. Laying down or kneeling?

2. Bondage or orgasm control?

3. Ass or tits?

4. cock or cunt?

5. Dom or sub?

6. Denial or forced?

7. Light or extreme pain?

8. Collars or ropes?

9. Scat or piss?

10. Masturbating with your/their hand or with toys?

11. Getting messy with food or mud?

12. Lots of sex or just in moderation?

13. Gentle love or psychotic sex-crazed crazy sessions?

14. Spanking with your/their hand or 'other' implements?

15. Get spanked with your/their hand or 'other' implements?

16. Anal: giving or receiving?


16 more fairly-dirty questions.


YOU CANNOT SAY NEITHER OR BOTH - DECIDE!

Please add your why's, also.

1. Missionary or doggy?

2. Pet play or age play?

3. Biting or scratching?

4. Fucking or being fucked?

5. Masturbating freely or being told when/how?

6. fisting or being fisted?

7. Degradation or body-worshipping?

8. Suspension bondage or being pinned to the ground?

9. Feet: sexy or not? Suck/lick or be sucked/licked?

10. A flat stomach or nice bottom/legs?

11. Bruises or scars (non permanent)?

12. Hot/cold play or body-writing?

13. Nipple torture or genital torture?

14. Play with nipples or have yours played with?

15. Paddles or whips?

16. Lick a (clean/dirty) ass or have yours licked?

[slaveboy28]

Dear all,

I was really humbled by the number of replies and comments I received and I would like to thank all of you for taking the time to read my blog and help me even better understand the world of submission. I do not think I completely deserve them but it is nice to know there are people with similar interests out there. And I can only agree with Wedgiebondagebabe “A master and slave relationship is more than the tasks you do but more how it makes you submit mentally.” And this mental submission is also always present when reading your comments, as they are not just comments of my journey but also comments read and examined by the “captain” steering this ship - my Sir. And I am always first of all worried about his reaction. I want to make him proud, do things right. But as one of the users commented in a private message: “even though you try not to do anything wrong, it's not always going to happen, trust me”. I have this in my mind as well but I really tend to focus on giving Sir my best, hoping to learn also from my mistakes and also being aware that every mistake needs to be paid for.

Sir is strict about this and there are no easy ways out, no shortcuts. Some of you even suggested Sir is perhaps being too strict but so far I think he is just recognising what I need (a lot of control and discipline). But this does in no way mean he is not taking care of me when things get really hard. He takes his time, explains things and also warns me of potential risks. And he did this when administrating punishments as well as when setting me my weight goals. They are very hard to achieve but Sir knows my routine now, knows my workouts and was also very specific on the importance of healthy eating.

Once again thank you for your advice and comments. And now to the AMA. Thank you m55uk4younger for your reply and your questions. In the first part I will just bold my answers where possible and reply where needed, in the second and third part (which will follow in my next blog update) explanations will also follow as per you request.

Part I:

1. Playing “sexual truth or dare” would you rather watch people have sex or would you prefer having sex with someone while being watched?
2. Would you rather watch porn with someone or reading erotica out loud, while touching yourself?
3. Would you rather have sex with the lights on, or the lights off?
4. Would you rather try to bring another person into bed with your partner as a threesome?
5. Would you rather have sex in the morning, or at night?
6. Would you rather be active or passive?
7. Would you rather give oral sex, or receive it?
8. Would you rather have sex while someone is watching, or would you prefer to watch someone having sex?
9. Would you rather be on top, or underneath?
10. Would you rather spit, or swallow?
11. Would you rather try out new and crazy kinky sex ideas, or just have romantic sex?
12. Would you rather have multiple sex partners, or just one?
13. Would you rather end a first date with a passionate kiss, or would you like to end a first date with sex?
14. Would you rather watch guy on girl porn, girl on girl porn, or guy on guy porn, to turn yourself on?
15. Would you rather have sex with your girlfriend/boyfriend or their sister/brother?
16. When did you last masturbate? I was last allowed an orgasm 48 days ago, but did my routine morning edging today.
17. What did you use? Hand.
18. What did you think about? Sir’s worn underwear - his beautiful boxers. “blush”
19. What was the last thing you inserted anally? A butt plug.
20. Did you enjoy it? Yes.
21. How long was it there for? An hour.
22. Was it clean when it came out? Not completely. “blush”
23. Boys: Is one testicle lower than the other? Yes although they are so small it is hard to notice.
24. Has anyone ever found out a sexual fetish of yours? Yes.
25. What happened? I had one real time experience with a dominant man and it was at that occasion he found out a lot about me and my fetishes.
26. Have you ever been really ashamed of something sexual you did? Yes.
27. What was it? I am still deeply ashamed of peeing in public and wearing diapers.
28. Do ever wear a butt plug? Yes.
29. If so, where do you wear it? Just at home. Not brave enough to do it when in public. The idea still scares the hell out of me.
30. Have you ever had anal sex? No.
31. Have you ever had a real life slave/Master relationship? No, not a relationship.
32. What is the most embarrassing dare you have done? I would once again say peeing in open space as it was reported in (more than) one of my blogs.
33. What is the most dangerous sexual thing you have done? I would not say I did anything really dangerous so far.
34. Does pain or humiliation turn you on? Yes.
35. What type of porn do you like? I enjoy erotic (bdsm) stories much more than anything else.
36. How frequently do you masturbate? Daily edgings.
37. Do you punish yourself? If so, how? I receive punishments from my Master and almost every single one was described in this blog.
38. Does someone else punish you? If so, how? Please see answer to the previous question.
39. Have you ever had your genitals punished? If so, how did it feel? As described in my blog, I had them flogged, clamped, hit. This is always a very painful and humiliating experience.
40. Do you get turned on reading getdare? Sometimes, yes.

boy A

[m55uk4younger]

Thank you for your AMA answers, I await the final 32 more dirty ones, slaveboy28.

[slaveboy28]

Dear all,

This will be a shorter update but I would like to invite you to read a story I wrote per Sir’s orders. It is a fictional story that can be found in the Getdare R18 Forum Section.
This story is also a reason why my update will be shorter. First of all it was a huge challenge. English is not my mother tongue and it is very difficult to express feelings and thoughts in a foreign language. Second - I understand writing this story must have meant a lot to my Master so I really tried to impress him but in a way stay real and down to earth. So it is as much an erotic story as it is a “mental story”. And third - writing such story proved to be very emotional and challenging for me. I sent the story to Sir yesterday late in the evening and could then not fall asleep until early morning. And only than just for a few hours. I was so overwhelmed with different feelings. I still am. Overwhelmed but also feeling emotionally drained. Like after moving a mountain. My journey became so personal, so rooted in me.

I may discuss this in another blog, though some things I believe should really be kept between Master and his slave. Now I would just like to focus on the questions I received here. I need to take my mind of the story. I hope you understand.

Part II:
1. Laying down or kneeling?
Kneeling, although I find this position physically very tough and certainly not something I am good at, but mentally I consider it as the only proper position for me.

2. Bondage or orgasm control?
Never tried bondage, only edging if this is considered as orgasm control. And based on my experience I would choose orgasm control. It is more a mental thing and also something that really makes my head spin (in a good and a bad way).

3. Ass or tits?
Ass - can not say exactly why but after my journey it is my prime focus when being asked to choose.

4. cock or cunt?
Cock - as it is a source of Man’s pleasure and I really crave to please dominant men.

5. Dom or sub?
sub, because I need it. I need to serve and obey. I can not put it any other way.

6. Denial or forced?
Denial - it brings pleasure and pain. It focuses the mind and allows to overcome your momental feelings of hornyness to perhaps achieve something deeper. Both for the Dom and the sub.

7. Light or extreme pain?
I never experienced extreme pain and I imagine why it is called extreme. But perhaps…just perhaps … once in a while.. when the feeling in right, when trust is established, when there is real chemistry.

8. Collars or ropes?
Collars - they are symbolic, they are a sign of submission, of being owned and also kept safe by the person you trust.

9. Scat or piss?
Piss. I guess you already figured it out. “Blushes” Scat is also total limit.

10. Masturbating with your/their hand or with toys?
Never tried toys. Never wanted to. Hand. A touch of skin, flesh. It is the real thing. And it can be cruel or gentle, fast or slow, tight or relaxed. A hand is the best toy there is.

11. Getting messy with food or mud?
Mud although getting messy is something I do not want to try. Food is for eating.

12. Lots of sex or just in moderation?
In moderation because less is more.

13. Gentle love or psychotic sex-crazed crazy sessions?
This will perhaps surprise you but I would still say gentle love - it is a cherry on top.

14. Spanking with your/their hand or 'other' implements?
I would say implements if I had to spank someone I am afraid I would be too gentle with my hand and spankee usually deserves some hard strokes.

15. Get spanked with your/their hand or 'other' implements?
Hand. Once again - to feel the person spanking. A hand is the best toy there is.

16. Anal: giving or receiving?
Receiving. It just sounds right and the way it should be.

Part III:

1. Missionary or doggy?
Doggy. Because of the mental experience it brings.

2. Pet play or age play?
Age play. Because I consider it more of a power play. Also not really into pet play. I prefer “people play”.

3. Biting or scratching?
Hm, scratching. No pet play, no biting :)

4. Fucking or being fucked?
Being fucked - because of this journey and the person steering my ship.

5. Masturbating freely or being told when/how?
Being told when/how because it became a part of my routine and as I said before, through control it brings a different kind of freedom.

6. fisting or being fisted?
Being fisted but this is an answer for the sake of the answer. Not wanting any actually.

7. Degradation or body-worshipping?
Ashamed to admit but degradation would be the answer. Because I considerate an important part of the power play and the whole Master-slave dynamic.

8. Suspension bondage or being pinned to the ground?
Being pinned to the ground where I belong. On the floor.

9. Feet: sexy or not? Suck/lick or be sucked/licked?
Sexy no doubt. Suck and lick, worship and smell. It is where Men’s body “begins”. It is where slave’s belong. It is the “point of first contact”.

10. A flat stomach or nice bottom/legs?
Nice bottom but even more legs because they make a perfect thing to play with, to worship and enjoy.

11. Bruises or scars (non permanent)?
Bruises because of the nice colour change :)

12. Hot/cold play or body-writing?
Body-writing because I hate cold. I hate it.

13. Nipple torture or genital torture?
Genital torture because my useless little genitals are only good for that.

14. Play with nipples or have yours played with?
I would say play with nipples if licking and sucking them for hours counts :)

15. Paddles or whips?
Paddles because whips scare me as hell.

16. Lick a (clean/dirty) ass or have yours licked?
Lick an ass to hopefully bring even more pleasure to your superior.

boy A

[m55uk4younger]

Thank you boy A for answering all my Ask Me Anything questions, via your blog. What a journey, how you have grown in confidence as a slave boy, striving to please your Master in any and all ways, online. Loosing control of your useless little genitals and if they get any pleasure or pain, longing to hear your reward "good boy" as a sign of your Master being pleased with you and your efforts to please his every whim. I await reading more of your blogs as your jouney continues.

[slaveboy28]

Dear all,

I may be repeating myself but I find it so important to once again publicly thank my Sir for being here for me. Even more so when my emotions really take over, as it happened after I wrote my first story (or is it just a first chapter, dear readers? I would be very grateful for your comments because it really is the first time I wrote something like that and unfortunately I am a person that learns mostly from mistakes so please do not hold back). We talked a lot after publishing it in the Getdare R18 Forum section and he once again made me feel both even more submissive but also more confident.

Sir said: you really want to be a good boy, don’t you?. It was more than a question, it was a statement. But a statement I can with all my heart make after all we have been through. Yes, I want to be a good boy, I really do want to please, make my Master proud, bring him enjoyment and pleasure. And I also do not see his wishes as whims - they simply are his wishes, his orders, his wants and it makes me feel good if I can please them.

It is definitely not easy, it is a journey and every time I think I have reached one goal another one appears. There are always new things to discover, to do. But I tend to do them as soon as possible and not keep Sir waiting.

One of the goals I reached was the one regarding my weight. Yes, I managed to reach it but Sir said I should become even more fuckable and loose a few more kg. This time he gave me more time to slowly but steadily reach my new target weight. This was I admit hard to accept, as loosing weight really was a very difficult process for me, but I understand his wish and I will with his help and guidance do as told. I do not want to be a fatboy for Sir. And I know he wishes only the best for me, taking care that my health is always my priority. Sir also informed what will follow then - toning up. I try not to think about this, as I never was into sports or gym but I hope I will do good. I simply want to.

After reaching my weight goal I was allowed to buy new underwear. The same white tight boxer briefs only a size smaller. They really are tight but there is still no real bulge - just my useless little genitals and perhaps I once again look a bit fatter, or is this just my perception now? Anyhow, I will were them with pride whenever allowed. They are Sir’s choice.

Just as a new task he gave me. I would not like to “spoil it” for your but it is a very humiliating one and I am sure Sir will want me to report on it in detail. I can only say it involves a lot of lipstick. So there I was shopping again and my only thought was will the colour match my nail varnish. I am sorry readers, but I really could not help myself. It was the first thing that crossed my mind. Sir likes my choice of nail varnish a lot…

This next no doubt humiliating report will (probably) be my last blog for 2016. I do not know when will I post again in 2017 as there are some big events coming up but I will try to let you know of how everything is going.

I really do not like to write or even read about the things that happened in the past year. I also think you already read a lot about my journey so I would just like to sum it up as a wild but overwhelming rollercoaster ride with ups and downs, twists and turns, that still make me shiver with excitement and feelings of luck and gratitude for meeting Sir. I hope you also had such wonderful moments as I had and may next year bring even more happiness and even more bitter-sweat treats for all the subs out there. And may we all strive to be even better slaves for our Masters. They really deserve it and my profile always reminds me I need to work harder as I so deeply wish to keep that “for now!” in my about line.

Thank you also for all the generous comments, replies, questions, letters and thank-you’s. I really cherish every single one, as they make me grow and I hope you are still enjoying my blog, my story and my AMA. I really try to always give my best and think of you all, but unfortunately I made a stupid mistake and did not promptly reply to a private message I received, so I would like once again to publicly apologise to this user (let us respect his/her privacy). I really hope this will not stop the user from following my road to submission. You can also read a bit more about what I did in the getDare Forums > Truth OR Dare > Ask me Anything (AMA) > s/M blogs AMA offer.

Thank you Sir.

Thank you all.

boy A

[m55uk4younger]

Wishing you a happy new year. I look forward to reading more of your blogs as your journey continues on your new path in life as a happy submissive slave boy, serving his Master's every whim, need and desire.

Maybe your start to 2017 will be a very wet and messy one, if you have earned it!

[slaveboy28]

Dear all,

Maybe you were expecting a juicy report on my last task but I am afraid I have to disappoint you. The task was postponed a bit (waiting is so challenging for me but I know everything has a reason and this time even more so) so this blog update will mostly be a thank you.

A big thank you for reading, helping, following my journey. Even to a point that the blog got nominated for the best Getadre blog of the year. I never expected it. And it is a great honour and a big responsibility to continue working on the blog and my journey. Thank you.

The blog became a big part of my journey and thanks to your comments and suggestions helped me deal with difficulties and also moments of great joy and happiness. I admit I sometimes get so emotional, writing franticly, just to get this huge amount of new feelings out of my head. This also happened yesterday evening after a long talk with Sir and I hope he understands that such, sometimes unconnected, phrases and words come from the heart and out of respect, gratitude and also desire to be a good boy, never to stop improving.

I would also like to thank Sir for giving me a very precious gift yesterday. I was once again able to rest my eyes on his body, to see him talk and guide me on cam. I still get nervous but it is getting easier and I really hope he enjoys seeing me also. Thank you Sir for this amazing journey and for being so patient, open and willing to teach me how to become a better boy. It has been such a pleasure to serve you in 2016. I wish this journey to continue and reach new highs and I promise to continue learning in order to fulfil your needs and desires.

(oh, yes, dear readers, I also thought of “that” “high”. The climax. Today is already day 53 of my chastity and a wet and messy start of the year would be such a high. But I know I still have to earn and deserve it and like I wrote in an answer in the AMA section I feel I need to do a bit more. But it is up to my Master and only he can make a decision when and if I cum and no matter how much I think whether I deserve it or not, he is the final judge. So I really try not to get to excited. Wet and messy could also mean something completely different - naughty thoughts again. Huh. I just hope Sir will get his pleasure. Sir first!)

I am sure there is still lots to learn and I am looking forward to it. New year will thus also be a year of new discoveries and I wish this not only for myself but also for you. And I also wish you all the best in the coming year. Let 2017 be full of happy moments, new experience, peace, love and joy. May all your wishes come true.

Happy new year!

boy A

[slaveboy28]

Dear getDare users,

New year - new challenges, new experiences and new moments of pain and joy (they sometimes really go hand in hand).

My journey continues in 2017 and it started with a very nice result in the getDare Best blogger of 2016 poll. Out of ten nominations my blog received six votes and at the end I shared an equal fourth place. I consider this a very nice result and I hope my Sir is pleased with it as well. Without him there would not be even a single chapter, let alone the nomination in this category.

Thank you all for your votes and congratulations to Ice Maiden on her victory. I would also like to thank all the commentators for their advice and for being so nice to spend their time reading the thoughts of a boy, becoming slave A and loosing control of his useless little genitals.

I appreciate it very much and I am looking forward to your future comments, ideas, advice and suggestions. I promise to learn from the them and perhaps, just perhaps, be able to climb a step in this year’s poll. Like I wrote before, there are always new milestones to reach.

I will keep you posted of new developments but please do not give up on me if there will be a short break between this and the next chapter. There really is something big coming up and it may take quite a lot of my time.

I hope you all spent a lovely new year,
boy A

[b69]

Happy New Year. Can't wait to hear about the "something big coming up." Thanks

[slaveboy28]

Dear getDare users,

There he was, boy A. Naked and collared, typing his newest blog update. Fucked for the first time. Fucked, used, subdued, free. Happy. Slowly coming down to earth after the strongest orgasm of his life (he had to take a walk just to stop shaking). Observed by his Master as boy A’s red varnished nails touched the keys. Contemplating on his journey. On what has happened in the past three months. Can he ever express it? Can his story ever truly be told? Can he ever express his gratitude to his Sir - his Captain and, yes, his First?

Sir First.

He can not stop himself from glimpsing - observing Him as His sweet and salty body (the one he worshiped for the past few days in every way possible - but still He deserves more) rests on a sofa. Sir smiles as He gets up, picks up a red lipstick and marks His boy. Just a date. A date he will remember forever. Both of them will.

Sir sits down and lets the boy relax, type his words and thoughts on what could not have been even imagined months ago when they first met. It was boy’s first add and Sir his first reply.

But back than it was pure fiction.

***

There he was, boy A. Standing outside a dimly lit pub. Waiting, nervously looking around, trying not to make eye contact with people slowly walking by. It was late in the evening and no-one actually paid attention to his hand nails (five varnished red nails on his non-dominant, submissive, hand). Then a sound - “looking for someone?”.

It was Sir.

And “Sir” was the only word this shy boy could stutter before He checked if the boy is properly collared. Only than did they enter the pub. Boy picked up the drinks at the bar (doing his best to hide the nails) and sat down. Next to Sir, his Master for the next few days.

Boy A was nervous, drops of sweat falling on the table, but Sir remained calm, strict and demanding, but as always listening. Just what the boy needed. He needed Him in his life, he needed Sir to take control for the next few days. And this helped the boy relax, made him sure it is Sir he wants. Made him sure that the blog he was writing just became reality (Sir’s hand under table was just a final reminder).

Of course he had moments of doubt and great fear - for a second he even thought he will never be able to exit the train - just stand there in the coach, wearing nothing under his jeans, his sweater covering the collar. But he did exit. He made a leap.

He remembered Sir was always there, open and honest. Sir told him at the beginning that his journey is not for the weak and he never wanted to be taken as weak. He wanted to be subdued, controlled, dominated. He was prepared to give up control of his useless little genitals, but he never wanted to be considered weak. He was a person, he was a human being like the rest of the blog readers and writers and he expected respect, honesty and trust.

He knew they are the only way to make what was once a fiction a reality. The only way this fictional boy A will materialise, become flesh and blood. And Sir was aware of that, always expecting to be treated the same.

They finished their drinks and headed out. Those few steps felt like miles for the boy… but he did as told for the first time with Sir present. He followed his Master. Just as he continued to follow his orders when they were finally alone. Alone, together, Until that very moment they were never really sure whether they were just two fictional getDare characters writing their own fiction blog.

But dear followers … It is never “just” fiction.

The best stories are factual.

And this journey was never “just” a journey.

There I was, boy A…

(to be continued)

Thank you for reading,
boy A

[m55uk4younger]

Thank you slaveboy28 (boy A), for answering my PM to your post, looking for a Master and choosing to serve me daily online for the past months. You have grown as a person under my guidance, slowly trusting that I know what you "need" to be happy. You trusted me to get on a plane, come thousands of miles to visit me, and wait sweating, hovering outside the agreed meeting location, "looking for somebody!".........................


Sir.

[slaveboy28]

Dear all,

Thank you all for reading my last blog update. As you might have seen, it was the first part of my 32nd blog update and it was meant to be read as an introductory chapter to a report on my first real life meeting with my Sir. I do not think I should go into many details on how the meeting went. I just wanted to offer you a small insight on how everything started - how I was able for the first time to see, touch, smell and really experience my Master. But what went on, what happened behind closed doors, should also stay there (it would also be perhaps too much for me to relive the whole experience again after I barely calmed down. Yes it was that good, that satisfying but also that hard, demanding and as always in life full of ups and downs.) It was my three month journey concentrated into three beautiful days - and nights “smiles”.

Thus I would like to use this opportunity to look at my journey and meeting from a different perspective. It may not be juicy enough for some, it will not be full of kinky details or steaming hot intimate moments (after all there is a reason why we call them intimate) but I find it very important to express my feelings, thoughts, lessons I have learned. This journey was to a great degree a life changing lesson/experience and the meeting itself was in no way different.

I can not yet tell you whether this means this update is also a concluding chapter of my journey, but it definitely is a concluding chapter of a three month long travel into a world of submission. And after loosing control (of my useless little genitals), becoming slave A, trying to learn as much as possible (about Sir, myself, BDSM etc.) and meeting Sir in real life it is time to write this update, having some sort of a conclusion in mind. Real life meeting could thus be considered also as a final destination. I am now returning home, recalling the moments, rethinking the whole experience, trying to overcome the feelings of being somehow lost in the world again, being once again physically away from Sir (I can still smell him all over my body. He is my nostrils, my clothes, my mind. And it is a strong, dominant smell I enjoy so much). But I know … I hope this final destination is final to a point. That I will be given a chance to learn more - continue my lessons in slave school with Sir as my teacher and headmaster -, to dig deeper into the world of submission, to explore this (previously hidden) personality and embrace it as part of who I am.

I would like to see this conclusion as a new beginning.

What I would like to share with you dear readers and followers is what I learned so far. I do not want to be big headed, I do not consider myself special in any way. Quite the opposite - really just an ordinary guy who is trying to face his fears, demons but also his needs. They simply are needs and they erupted to the outside world after a very long time, after searching for so long.

My last chapter ended with the words it is never “just” fiction. And we tend to sometimes forget this when being, talking and communicating online. Our communication always has consequences in the real world. We sometimes just do not see them (immediately). Cyberspace is not completely disconnected from reality and it has it’s traps. But this time it also provided me with an opportunity to really dig deep, to find someone I can trust and explore something unimaginable months ago.

Thank you Sir.

I made an even bigger step (and I am so happy to found the courage to do it, so lucky to have met Sir) and decided to meet a person in real. It was not an easy decision and it was definitely not something that was done after my first conversation with Sir. Not even after a week or a month. It took me more than three months. And I have no regrets waiting - I was and still am very green, a newbie. This was also visible at the meeting and I only feel grateful Sir understood this. Was in no way judgemental, allowed me to take some time off, to relax, to focus, but also to clearly explain to me what I did wrong. And some mistakes were extremely serious. It must have been a tough and demanding job for him, so once again a great thank you to Sir. We really talked a lot and I now more and more understand how important honesty is, even when it comes to your own shortcomings. And this is extremely hard, especially for me, as I am a person who rarely trusts or opens up, who is always cautious. I believe no matter how experienced one is, a good deal of caution when meeting people in real world is needed. Especially if you met them online. You never know. And it takes time to know them, at least to a point you trust them and are sure the things they are saying really are true. If you have doubts online, how will you be able to cope offline?

But I trusted Sir to a point I offered him my virginity. And he took it. It was a humbling experience. One to remember, to look back and simply say: wow, it was everything I hoped for. No regrets, no bad feelings.

I am not unique and my journey may be very similar to your own journeys but what I am is another living proof that wonderful, experienced, patient people can be met online. Yes even on getDare. So be optimistic, but also be careful. No need to rush. (As you like juicy details - just like I did not rush having an orgasm. I waited 57 long days. And it was worth it!!). And being a novice it is even more important to find a person who is generous enough to share his knowledge, his experience. Sir is doing this all the time, trying to educate me on the world of SM. And I did get a very very important lesson. Safety first. I will have to work on this even harder, educate myself also by reading, trying to understand different mechanisms… And Sir provided me with lots of material to take to my slave school.

Meeting in real, exploring your submissive (or Dominant) side must always come with having safety in mind. Asses the risks, try everything you can to prevent potential damage and never push it to hard. Fantasy is one thing, reality is another.

And when you find your Master, listen, clarify and do as told (again within limits and reason). It is really one of the best advice I can give you in my blog - a blog which was never intended to be just some detailed experience of lusting for Sir. It really is a blog of new explorations and discoveries. A travel blog!

Each travel changes you. And I think I have become a stronger person. I am no expert, do not think I now know everything (I am maybe at thirty percent at most), but I am just a bit knowledgable, a bit stronger and more assure of myself. And that is what I hope you noticed as well. I am not searching praise, just trying to evaluate the boy from blog number I and a boy, a fucked, used slave from blog XXXII. They are the same, but again very different. That is why I was not afraid to use the words - life changing.

What a journey… what a Sir… what wonderful days. Serving him, his needs and demands, his beautiful body. Thank you Sir for taking me, for giving me this opportunity. I desperately hope you will continue to train and mold me, now you know me a tad more. To become not just a better slave who’s only job is to pleasure his Master (“yes Master”) but also to become a stronger, more educated person in the world of kinks.

It was hard, but nothing in life is ever easy. And with great effort comes great reward. Seize the moment dear readers, explore, travel, go on a journey (perhaps even share it).

Thank you all for your comments and your support. You were great readers, kind supporters and I wish you will also have the opportunity to have such a great experience. I do not know what happens next - a new blog perhaps? Less updates but more time for Sir? I will need a few more days to say. A few more days to fully grasp what happened and also to understand, process this anticlimactic moment that followed my departure. Sir warned me it will happen, but I never expected it to be so strong. But how could I not as the whole meeting was such an out of the world experience? It is now time to come back to earth, return to school, learn, work hard to be able to see Sir again, to pleasure him again, worship his moobs, his body, his suckable toes. To become more fuckable not only by loosing just a bit more weight (Sir is no extremist and his first concern always is my health) but also by trying to learn what Sir enjoys most, by trying to get in shape. It is time to work again. Time to store my useless little genitals back where they belong. In chastity. To fully focus on Sir.

Thank you Sir. Thank you so much.

Thank you all and please be so kind to leave your comments, perhaps ask questions, express your opinion. You were very helpful in the past and I would also like to hear what you think of my journey after coming back home.

Gratefully yours,
boy A

[m55uk4younger]

This blog may have come to an end and the person writing blog 1 is not the same person writing blog 32, he has grown, learned what he wants and needs to be happy in life. The journey of exploration, now having had the "the strongest orgasm of your life" continues.

Sir and Master.

[Wedgiebondagebabe]

It was a pleasure reading your blog that expressed the mental part of the relationship. I think this is a piece a lot of people forget about. Continue working towards your goals and I wish you both the best moving forward with your lives and your relationship.

[m55uk4younger]

Well if there is enough demand from getdare readers, my slave, boy A will contuine to blog here in some form or another, now that he has taken the giant leap off cyberspace into real life.

So please let me know if you want to read more.

Sir.

[m55uk4younger]

Failing to do daily routine edging:-

My slave boy, boy A, "forgot" to do his morning edge session, on the only day I was present and there to watch, I know me watching would have made the task so much harder, but it has been part of his daily routine for over 90 days now, so how could he "forget"?

So getdare users how should I punish him? I thought of making him drink malt vinegar, as he so detests vinegar, he was not happy at that thought when I told him. I asked him to buy some, but when asked he said he was too busy and did not have time to buy some!

How serious is "forgetting" to do his daily morning edge session, that keeps the boy horny? All punishments must be punishments, he should gain no pleasure or enjoyment from the punishment.


Thank you for reading.

Sir.

[m55uk4younger]

See boy A's (slaveboy28) story "There he was", in the R18 section of the truth or dare story section, for updates on his journey.

Sir.

[m55uk4younger]

Where would you like boy A's journey to go, Getdare readers?
He has lost control of his useless little genitals and slowly his will and mind too as he slowly descends into slavery.

Sir.

[slaveboy28]

Dear getDare users and followers,

Once again thank you for following my journey. I am glad to say that the journey and my descent into slavery continues and that I am so happy for every moment I spend serving Sir. But today I would like to focus not on the continuation of my journey but on a task I was given… faith has given me… when I offered Sir to “play” a dice dare (Now when we are both physically separated again, I really really try to open up even more, not to hide anything and offer him something he might enjoy even being so far away - and this is how I got myself into quite a mess. But if at the end Sir gets pleasure from my mess and he is happy with what I achieve finishing My full day of control, then it will be really worth it). You will perhaps hear more about this dare in my next update if Sir allows (it is a tiny bit adapted version of a dare by PranaDevil - thank you very much for setting it up). So.. I am writing this because I rolled a task to write a blog telling everyone just what a worthless and pathetic slave I am, and why I should be humiliated.

It is not an easy task because on one hand I try to see myself as a strong person on my journey but on the other hand I feel that the humiliation is something I in a way need and deserve and that my tasks, my routine and me serving and fucking up also mean I really am just a worthless and pathetic slave (and slaves can always just be abandoned, dismissed, ignored - something I consider really painful and something that reminds me of my submissive position).

The first reason or part of the answer I could state (and it is so deeply connected with my wish to be a strong person and a strong slave) will not be explained in long but I think it is very important. I always feel - and at that moment I also am - a worthless pathetic slave when I do not do my best, when I fight Sir, try to avoid something. It is shameful, it is immature and it makes me not a good boy (still the nicest words I can hear) but simply just a worthless, useless, pathetic prick. I am useless to Sir if I do not strive harder, push myself a bit and do my actual best. Give Sir my 110%.

The second part of the answer is connected more to the need to be humiliated or - shamefully to admit - my like After reading about my journey even you may say: “boy, it is obvious - peeing yourself outside, eating your spunk, begging for punishment just to be able to redeem yourself, shaving your body hair. There is no real man who would ever do that. And only a pathetic slave like you can not only do it but also enjoy it”.

And in a way I understand this and feel the same. I do not feel manly enough, especially when I think of my Sir. He is stronger, better, bigger, older than me (and still has such a stamina in every sense of the word), he just has a look that says “Obey”. And feeling inferior, smaller, younger, weaker, not equal, not man enough (surely the girly panties I am sometimes allowed to wear do not help in any way, but I secretly like them. I love them as a visible sign of my girly side). I just need to do it. I just need to do what he says and sometimes humiliate myself to the point where I just accept the fact I am just a worthless and pathetic slave.

And usually the first thing that betrays me and really shouts what a dirty horny slave I am, would be my useless little genitals. They can not be compared in any way to the genitals of a real man, in control of his sex life, using them for his pleasure whenever he so chooses. So I think the only right thing to do is to give up control, offering them to my Sir to use them, play with them and control if, when and how I spunk, when and how I pee and if I am allowed to touch them - and sometimes touching them just means giving myself a slap in the balls. Those shamefully small balls that are so tight and tiny that they are sometimes almost hard to distinguish from “it”. “It” is another shameful thing - what I used to call dick is now just “it” and “it” now has very little use apart from being used as a tool to edge in the morning. And yes pee …but even then it is not touched, it is not used in it’s proper function, because I always pee sitting down like a girl. And this is always stressed when I sit up again and I see the sign “Fucked Master’s property” written above my genitals. But even if “it” is a property, controlled and kept unsatisfied “it” still has a mind of it’s own.

And this is perhaps even more humiliating, a sign I am a pathetic slave, when my brain tries to resist, tries to hide my dirty, shameful, naughty thoughts but “it” just gets hard. It gets hard when I see a bulge of an elderly gentleman and my mind goes directly back to Sir and how desperately I wish to be able to be close to his big hanging balls, his man genitals but also close to his feet. I crave to be his footstool again and I think lusting after a man so much is something that betrays me again and again that I should be humiliated, shown my place, faced with my dirty thoughts and uncontrolled desired. And be used, made to serve. Because it is after all the only thing I can get pleasure out of. Not being worshipped, adored, caressed like others but accepting that such pleasures are better left for a Master to enjoy. I enjoy more serving him, being his footstool, being his mouth to piss in, being his spitoon, being his toy. I can not help it, it just makes me feel better, knowing Sir comes first, that I can (try to) bring him pleasure and enjoyment.

So I in a way need to be humiliated, need to be told how pathetic I am moaning, whining, resisting sometimes, because Sir knows best and because I know even giving me a task of writing this blog update he still cares for me, respects my limits and knows how much I need to be reminded of what a dirty, useless, weak little boy I am.

And yes, even writing this blog today is a reminder for me … and it again betrays what a pathetic boy I am. You should just see me now, my toe and hand nails varnished in a bright slutty red, wearing a peed diaper (I hate it so very much but I just accept it. It was an order from my Master. It is also a good thing to remind me over and over not to fuck up, not to be so pathetic to soil my precious white underwear ever again), marked with above mentioned sign and a collar (the thing that after all the humiliation makes me strong, makes me proud and safe. Makes me aware even after being forced to humiliate myself writing a blog why I am pathetic, he will not harm my self esteem as a person. He will only, hopefully, accept me more as his slave, as his worthless and pathetic (but still respected, cared for) slave).

You should see me waking up at five in the morning on a Saturday both afraid and excited about my day. Worrying I will disappoint Sir, thinking how much I will humiliate myself today, what it will be like to scrub the toilet with my dirty tongue, to soap my dirty mouth, to pee all day in my diaper and to clean my apartment after experiencing some painful tasks. But again I just have to do it. Not have a hang over like my friends, not waking up late and jacking off like real men, but shivering in the morning cold, peeing in my diaper just to hopefully please Sir and his needs and whims. And what is even more pathetic the thought of it, the thought of new tasks just makes me excited. It makes me want more. It makes me want not to fail so much.

This was perhaps not a direct answer to the task question - what a worthless and pathetic slave I am, and why I should be humiliated - but I think it is an honest answer. And sometimes such answers do not meet the phantasy expectations - usually just a list of dirty tasks, humiliating words and self humiliation. I still hope you enjoyed the reading and you also understand that doing all this is only possible when you really trust someone and you are not afraid to admit you (sometimes) are just a worthless and pathetic slave in need to be humiliated.

Thank you all and good luck,
boy A

[m55uk4younger]

Good effort boy, enjoy your day of control all decided by fate, a roll of the dice.

Sir.

[Lordsuffolk1990]

Hey great post, really enjoying reading it. Keep it up :-D

[slaveboy28]

Dear getDare users,

perhaps you have already read my previous blog update where I briefly mentioned today was “My full day of control”. It was based on a post or a dice dare, published in the Dice dare section of the getDare forum and was created by the user PranaDevil. I would thus like to first thank him for setting up such detailed and creative dare and hope he will not mind altering it a bit.The dare was altered by my Sir so it better suits his wishes, my routine and also the nasty winter weather. I hope PranaDevil will also be kind enough to read this report because it is meant to be a way of publicly saying thank you.

I must admit it was actually my first real dice dare. And of course I got lucky to immediately roll the biggest number of tasks that needed to be completed on “My full day of control”.
Why did I get myself into such trouble? Mostly because I wanted to please Sir, offer him something that may excite him as he will read and see my struggles and my discomfort. Another reason is that I simply wanted to do it and test myself a little bit, learn new things and perhaps also become a bit better slave. I think some tasks really pushed me a lot. Of course perhaps for someone else they will sound very simple but we are all different and staying in diapers for a whole day (my extreme dislike) was a great challenge from the start.

Dear PranaDevil once again thank you and if you think I deserve an additional task as a form of punishment or task for not following your dare in full and adjusting it I am prepared to pay that price and give your thoughts to my Sir.

Now a short summary of my “lucky” rolls:


MY full day of control - slave A

What you wear for morning exercises: Normal working out clothes.
Morning exercises: 40 sit ups.
When will you do the morning exercise: 5:30am.
What to eat - breakfast: Whatever you wish.
How to eat breakfast: You may choose.
What to eat - lunch: Snacks.
How to eat lunch: Your choice, but you have 3 minutes to finish all of your food, whatever is left you don't get to eat.
What to eat - dinner: Plain raw vegetables.
How to eat dinner: Standing.
Shower: No shower.
Underwear: A diaper (change if it leaks)
Top: Your choice.
Bottoms: Nothing, just underwear - diapers (inside), old bottoms (outside).
Feet: Any pair you choose.
How to go to the bathroom to pee, when allowed: Outside of your house.
Bed clothing: The clothes you wore today.
Where to sleep: Bed (with a pillow and a cover).
Time to go to bed: 11pm.

And also a list of tasks:


1. Wash your clothes.
2. Write a blog telling everyone just what a worthless and pathetic slave you are, and why you should be humiliated.
3. Take a bar of soap and scrub your mouth out; you must wait 10 Minutes.
4. Spend an 1 hour following all commands given to you, you do not need to tell anyone that you are doing this, but you may not refuse or say no to anything. (Think like a Yes Man).
5. Use a nail brush and give each of the following areas 2 minutes of solid scrubbing - left ass cheek, right ass cheek, left nipple, right nipple, balls/dick.
6. Clean the windows inside.
7. Act as an animal for a minimum of 1 hour, you may not stand, use the furniture, or even talk during this period.
8. Cover the your cock, knob and balls in toothpaste for 20 minutes.
9. Post an ad begging for a Master/Mistress (I know you already have one), you have 24 hours to decide who to choose, they will be able to use you for 7 Days however they wish (within your limits).
10. Clean the bathroom.
11. Clamp your nipples, spend 20 minutes pulling and twisting on the clamps. Every 5 minutes you are to remove them, turn them 90 degrees, and re-attach them.
12. Masturbate for 20 minutes while watching BDSM porn. Edge only.


The tasks needed to be done in order I rolled them and I needed to finish them by my bed time. If I failed I was afraid I would automatically have to add an extra day onto doing this dare and I really did not want that. Also upon orders from Sir I still needed to keep my daily routine, so carefully planned for me - for the duration of the task I had my finger (inside only) and toe nails varnished, wore a collar and was appropriately marked - Fucked Master’s property. I also had to respect my pee schedule and evening corner time.

“My full day of control” started very early on a Saturday, after a very busy week when I really wished for an easy late morning. Faith decided otherwise so I had to wake up at 5.00 in the morning to prepare for my morning exercise, scheduled for 5:30. It was a big mental blow for me and I must admit getting up so early was not easy but I became a bit more optimistic after sending Sir a message and providing him with a proof of being awake in time.
After a very brief waking up “procedure” I changed into my work out clothes and still a bit sleepy did my 40 morning sit ups. Not much, you may think, but I needed to take a breath after completing 20. Now I really understand why Sir wants me, a weakling, to tone up a bit. It was not that bad but it was yet another blow to my self esteem (other’s came very soon). Before diapering up for the day (fuck, fuck, fuck) I started washing my clothes and used the time available to do my routine 30 min morning edging. Only after finishing it I put on a diaper and went outside into a dark, wet, foggy morning (really wanted to please Sir so I left my collar on) to allow myself the “pleasure” of my first shameful morning pee. It just kept going and going and it made “that darn thing” really wet but far from leaking (so, no change). I tried to keep myself busy and put my mind to rest while having a healthy breakfast.

Clothes were left to dry and I could proceed to my second task - writing a blog telling everyone just what a worthless and pathetic slave I am, and why I should be humiliated. You can see the result in my previous post (For all of you reading this report in the Dice dare section - please follow the link to: http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showpost.php?p=2648217&postcount=56.). It was quite a long and mentally very challenging and degrading task although it looked very simple at the first glance. Afterwards I was almost happy to proceed to a more “physical” task and not another big mindfuck (I was just half right because cleaning my mouth with soap made me wonder even more why I am doing all this, why I am so pathetic to put soap in my mouth and just patiently wait? Such a simple but effective and degrading way of punishing the slave and showing him his rightful place in the world.). I took the bar of soap and scrubbed my mouth (also my first experience). It was not that bad for the first few seconds but then it just turned into a very bad, bitter, artificial taste that remained in my mouth for the next ten minutes. But even after washing my teeth and cleaning my mouth I could still feel the aftertaste.

I headed out for a walk and a cup of coffee with my friends (the soap really ruined the taste) - all very nasty and humiliating: walking, sitting, talking with a wet, moist diaper in public. I thought everyone knew about it, knew about my pee soaked diaper. It was extremely shameful and I felt I am abusing my friends in a way. During this time I spent an hour following all commands given to me (I of course did not tell anyone that I am doing this, but I could not refuse or say no to anything. Thinking like a Yes Man - “more thinking like a total yes slave: Yes, Master”). This was my first lucky part of the day as nothing suitable came up in our conversation. Yes, I had to pass the sugar, go order the coffee and I had to say yes to a lunch invitation I somewhat wanted to avoid. All in all nothing out of the ordinary. I came back home just in time to .. well before entering home once again pee in … in that… the nasty D thing… the diaper “blush”. I hoped I could fill it enough to start leaking but no such luck. It was by then completely full and heavy but I did not want to disobey and just waited for my Master, his orders and instructions.

When Sir returned I got greeted with a message on how many mistakes I made in my blog and as a punishment I had to eat medium spicy pickled peppers - yuck, yuck, yuck. Doable but still disgusting. And I really hope there are not so many mistakes in this update. Only then was I allowed to get rid of the dirty diaper (thank you Sir) and start with my next task.

5. Use a nail brush and give each of the following areas 2 minutes of solid scrubbing - left ass cheek, right ass cheek, left nipple, right nipple, balls/dick.” Task was done and scrubbing made my cheeks, nipples and balls nicely pink so that was not that bad. I am quite sure Sir enjoyed seeing me torturing myself on cam. And he sent me a very big compliment: “pink scrubbed, fuckable ass!”. Wow! It was worth it.

Because my genitals were a tiny bit sensitive (the nipples definitely hurt the most and I could feel even the tiniest breeze) I could clean the windows (from the inside) naked. I must admit I lowered the blinds a bit because in live in a frequent area and lots of people can see in. This time the physical activity helped me relax a bit. Not to mention the time spent without my diaper. Thank you, thank you Sir.
I was now halfway through so I was able to have my 3 minute healthy snack lunch. It was good to get some food in and get some energy for the remaining tasks. And for me they were only getting harder. I was also already dreading the ninth one. But before that I needed to do two more and most of all go pee again … in my new clean diaper. I so wanted to keep it clean for as long as possible but my body once again betrayed me. So I just did what I was allowed to - went out and peed. And like Sir commented: “A big wee, boy!”

Time for task 7: Act as an animal for a minimum of 1 hour, you may not stand, use the furniture, or even talk during this period.
I decided to act as a puppy and even now I can still not completely grasp this experience and how very mixed feelings I have. First I crawled on all fours and explored my apartment from a dog perspective, tried to sniff a few things, wiggled my diapered bum and then suddenly just got extremely bored and lonely. There was no one to see me, no one to call for me, no one to give me commands. In order to overcome these feelings of loneliness and abandonment I tried to play with my ball for a while, before crawling to an improvised doggy basket where I just sat like a puppy, then started moving again not knowing what the time was. I had no access to furniture, no one to talk to, to play with. Just me and my ball. I licked and sniffed myself a few times, even barked but that did not help. It just made me feel more and more desperate. I tried even to get a short nap but then my back started to hurt and I just could not fall asleep. I think doing this task I actually managed to feel like a dog left at home for hours just waiting for the owner to return. I was not a playful doggy, I was not a naughty doggy, I was just a scared, lonely puppy. And when I heard the ping of my Master - a loud adult Woof Woof - I ran to the computer immediately and I swear I could wiggle my tail if I only had one. I was so extremely happy that there is someone. That there is a person. If he could only pat my head in real.

“That is 2 full ones, dirty boy,” was the comment after my next pee. I could not help myself not to blush. Luckily it had to come of for my genital treatment: 8. Cover the your cock, knob and balls in toothpaste for 20 minutes. Nice task for a break is all I can say and “it” liked it a lot as well until the pain got to it. I also got a new clean diaper before my next challenging task that frightened me for a long time:

9. Post an ad begging for a Master/Mistress (I know you already have one), you have 24 hours to decide who to choose, they will be able to use you for 7 Days however they wish (within your limits). I really do not know what to think about this task? Will anyone apply? If so, who should I choose? Will I disappoint my Master? Only questions and so far no real answers. But I should be brave for my Master and just swallow my pride and fears and obey. I have learned so far it is the best and easiest thing to do. Let us hope for the best.
You can find the add here: http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=291309

After this extremely hard task I deserved a light dinner - raw vegetables - that was eaten standing. But to make thing just a little bit more challenging Sir added another 3 pickled peppers.

By now it was already eight in the evening so I had to go to work again: Clean the bathroom. Not a hard task in itself but after 15 hours I got already a bit tired and the task also had a twist - I had to scrub my toilet with my tongue first. I did not object because I secretly wanted to try it. It was (perhaps even too) clean, so nothing to complain about. “blush”. Finishing this task I only had two left - pain and pleasure:

11. Clamp your nipples, spend 20 minutes pulling and twisting on the clamps. Every 5 minutes you are to remove them, turn them 90 degrees, and re-attach them.
12. Masturbate for 20 minutes while watching BDSM porn. Edge only.

And it was pain. Sir controlled me on cam and I really really wished my nipples would not have already received a deep scrubbing. They hurt like hell and I was really in great pain. Sir, I think, saw both my pain and my effort and cut me a few minutes short. I was then allowed a gentle massage but even touching them was painful again and it took quite some time to breath normally and relax again. It felt like they were on fire, burning really. But at the end “good boy, you did well”. Wow and thank you Sir, Thank you.

And it was pleasure. Luck was on my side once again for this last task. Yes, just edging but it was a big reward and if I have not spunked in 30 days I can do much more and I am thinking very intensely to trade up my potential spunking in 12 days for something much more valuable. But now I am getting too far already.

Last minutes on cam … I could see Sir again. Thank you Sir. What a gift!

18 hours later, finally - time to go to bed. (yes, bed! With a pillow and a cover! And still a sore ass and burning nipples!)

I made it through the day and I am so happy I made Sir satisfied with my today’s work. It was a very long, hard and busy day full of ups and downs but it was all worth it.

Thank you Sir!

Thank you all for reading,
boy A

[m55uk4younger]

Thank you boy A for your Valentine's letter, very nice of you, so I thought I would let Getdare readers see what a good slave boy you are becoming as your training and learning continues.




Dear Sir,

I thought a lot on what to write today Sir, went through a lot of blogs and reports I have already written and then decided to just start writing. Let myself go and stop worrying if I repeat the compliments and expressions of gratitude I have already written. Like I said recently you deserve to hear them again and again. And also see them in writing Sir. So here is my attempt of explaining why I think you deserve them so much Sir and why “it” twitches for you Sir and why I crave to be in your company again.
You have simply given me so much in the past few months (yes, we are now already speaking of months, Sir. Could you ever imagine this, Sir? Could you really? Months … beautiful, exciting autumn and winter months that are slowly turning into spring.). When I first met you, when we first spoke on Skype I had no idea that we would get so far and become what we are today. Master and slave, committed and dedicated, together. “There we are, together”. It was the beginning of this amazing journey and I am honestly glad it continues, it grows and becomes more and more important Sir. For me and hopefully for you Sir.

I remember our first conversations, remember how you spoke of my needs. You recognised them and you saw the potential in me becoming a slave. For you, your whims and wishes, your pleasure. And I am utterly grateful for this and for being my Captain ever since we first spoke. Thank you Sir for steering my ship (and rocking my boat - “giggles”).
I felt lost back then. Now the only moments I feel lost are those without you. But I know you will be there, know you will be online to check on your boy, your slave. To praise or correct me, to guide me, to play with me.

“Naked, collared, nails done, looking at that lovely tight pert ass, thinking about doing very naughty things to you as I play with your useless genitals, knowing they will respond and "it" will get hard and twitch for me, as you look deep into my eyes, longing for me to penetrate you again, my warm hard cock inside you, fucking you like a very good slave boy, then maybe fucking you like a girl, riding your hard pulsing cock, as we make eye contact, knowing you are loving every bit of pleasure I give to you, for now because it might be pain next time, my hand, the paddle, the flogger, bringing you to tears, because I can.”

Yes Sir!!!

I simply need you Sir. Without you I am not a slave, I am not a boy, I am just that lost person from months ago. Thank you Sir for everything and thank you for letting me into your world Sir, letting a part of me become a part of you, just like you are a great part of me and my life now. I cry for you, I smile for you Sir and I am grateful to share all these moments with you Sir. It is an amazing feeling to know I can be also vulnerable with you, Sir. Because you understand the inner fights and struggles, because you tolerate and accept them (thank you Sir), but still retain strict control. Control and routine I deserve and need. You are not the only one smitten Sir. I am smitten by you, your behaviour, your education, your body, your heart and soul. There is no reason to hide it Sir.
You make me not just a better slave but a better person. Because there is someone to be a better person for. You Sir. Because it is the only way to bring you ever more pleasure. By obeying, trusting, doing what you wish. It is a mutual wish Sir. It is my deep wish to be more prepared for you, fitter, better looking, more open and devoted Sir. And it was much more than just our conversations Sir, our words. When I first met you in real, I was mind blown by you and by the whole experience. I could be naked with you, I could be on my knees, sucking your beautiful cock or just a footstool for your legs (you know I love them too, especially when they are unshowered, full of your Man scents), I could give you my virgin boy ass. Yes Sir, you were in places no-one has ever been before. And not just physically. You entered my subspace, you helped it create it and shape it, just like your are shaping my body. You are in control Sir and I am grateful for this Sir.
I can still remember the butterflies in my stomach, I can still remember so vividly what went on and those are amazing memories of joy and happiness. And after our first moments together - “looking for somebody?” (Your hands exploring, you sitting in the corner as I went for our drinks Sir - nails varnished, sweating profoundly, ashamed but excited, just waiting to speak to you more. Hear your words to calm me down and enable me to surrender. To you Sir.). I knew I wanted to learn more, to get to know you better and to continue my journey. With you Sir. I can not explain it in full, but there just was something about you that caught my eyes, my attention. And it was more than just your moobs, your feet, your cock or your whole body. It was the way you were, the way you acted and the way you accepted me as a slave.

Sir, just look where we are now. And we are already heading for our next meeting. I will be able to meet you again, feel your body, get fucked by you again Sir (please Sir). Fucked and used like a boy or a girl. You will decide Sir and I am once again grateful for this Sir. I will kneel before you again Sir, you will feel my collar, you will see me again. And I will beg you to pleasure you again, whisper to you “please Sir, may I please lick your body”. Between your legs, my head lowered as I pleasure you but still remaining eye contact, Sir. Just like when we parted for the first time, Sir. Just like it was there in the kitchen all over again. An amazing end to our first meeting, and a great point to start our second. Just like we never parted Sir.

You will see the joy on my face again as you command me, as you tell me what to do - the way you like it most Sir. And I will do everything to please you again Sir to bring you to an orgasm Sir. And not just any orgasm, but an orgasm you deserve Sir. So I will listen and act, I will go as deep as you want Sir, I will make you as wet as you want, stroke you, grasp you as
much as you want Sir. Because I will be by then more fit and I know even more focused on your pleasure. Fuckable and bouncable. Sir first.
I dream of the moment your breathing will deepen, your body will tremble in pleasure and you will just grab me by hair and spunk wherever you want Sir - my mouth, my face, my ass or my body. And I will respond with an honest and loud Thank you Sir.

Thank you Sir for meeting me in January, thank you for those wonderful days full of lust, desire, gentleness, love and pain. I know many consider it natural that the Dominant is a few years older and I think they are very right Sir. The meeting proved how grateful I am that you, an older experienced dedicated to the world of domination Master opened me up in every sense of the word. Thank you Sir for taking my virginity. For fucking me for the very first time Sir. There are no doubts, no regrets. It was the right decision Sir and now I know I can be your submissive, your slaveboy. We talked, we played, we laughed, we discovered, we were (in) naughty and nice. And there is much more to discover in April Sir.

A gentle whisper: “Please fuck me Sir.”.

Yes, the distance is sometimes painful, the time stands still but we will meet again soon Sir. And until then I will be here every day Sir, just like before Sir. Because I also need you, because I care so much Sir and because you are a great gift Sir. I feel your domination is a
great gift. It is a gift to be able to wear the leather collar, the markings (even the bruises from that naughty scrubbing) and also the varnished nails (you always choose so well Sir). I love them so much Sir. Thank you Sir.
And this I feel even more after my Sunday orgasm Sir (Thank you Sir). Like I wrote in my first add I am prepared to prove that my orgasm will not drive me away. I will not just run and close the cam (I still hate the cam Sir, I am sorry). I will be just where I was Sir.

I love your grizzly and your teddy side Sir, I love how you care about me as a slave and a person Sir. And I feel this even now after wearing soaked, smelly diapers. I dislike them but I still like you Sir. I know you are doing this only to make me a better slave, to be able to please you the way you deserve and only then deserve the pleasure of feasting on your hairy
body Sir - body of a true Man (wow Sir, just wow feeling your weight on me, your breath in my face Sir, submitting totally Sir).

I read in one blog: “I want to make my slave better. I want to make him into a masterpiece, not just physically, but mentally too. I want a slave who can hold a discussion on current events, philosophy and psychology, art, science… something mentally stimulating. I want a slave who is successful, and is growing under me, and is aware of it. Grateful. I want a slave who chooses to kneel not because he is a failure, but because he is grateful for his success. I want a slave who chooses to serve not because he feels so inferior to other people, but because he recognises something Superior in me.”. What a nice definition Sir, don’t you agree?

And you do just this Sir, make me feel grateful for my journey, happy I can grow as a person, and make me feel a strong sub bowing before you Sir - my Superior. Of course we also had ups and downs - again, it is still a rollercoaster Sir - and they are even more apparent now that we are apart from each other. Because we can not smell, touch, feel, sense. But I am glad Sir, grateful and happy, we manage to go through them Sir. Together Sir. I believe they are a natural part of this journey and I think they will only make me stronger. Stronger for You Sir. And no matter what, I keep coming back to you Sir - my Master. I could not have made it without you Sir and I also know there is still so much too learn Sir. And I want to learn it from you and with you Sir. I miss you so much Sir. All of you Sir. I miss your firm but playful eyes, I miss your body heat under the covers, I miss your “come on boy, work harder for me”, I miss you spanking me, making me moan from pleasure and pain, bouncing on your cock and being fucked like a girl. Your girl. I miss you stirring your tea with “it”, I even miss your complaint how dirty people are, littering around (and I feel I should just run there and clean the streets for you).
But we will meet again soon Sir. And I want you to see me in heat again, drooling, waking up in the middle of the night just to please you Sir. I want to bite your nipples hard again (yes Sir, you can always bite mine harder, and I want you to bite them hard, without mercy to your boy. Because your boy needs to take it, learn to take it, Sir.).You still need to tie me up with
your ropes, blindfold me and just play with me, torturing my girly balls, pouring wax on my sensitive nipples, enjoying my muffled screams.
Soon Sir. Until then we will talk, we will Skype and you will challenge me again please Sir, give me a hard demanding dice dare Sir so you will see me sweat and struggle for you Sir, and you will hopefully very soon see me in my new panties (please Sir, help me choose Sir from the naughty options below), with a nice pink bum, freshly and thoroughly scrubbed. Just like my nipples and my useless little genitals.

Soon Sir.
April Sir.
Euston Sir.

I hope Sir you know how much you mean to me.

Roses are red, violets are blue, how did I get so lucky with you?
Roses are red, violets are blue, I want to be used only by you.
Please Sir, would you please be my naughty Valentine Sir?

I can not wait to see you again.

Thank you Sir. Thank you.

Yours, boy A, x x x




Roses are red, violets are blue, I love making your bottom pink and your little cock hard too!


Sir.

[m55uk4younger]

Well slaveboy28's training, mental and physical is going well now, the latest report sent from him to me is below. I hope Getdare readers enjoy reading it, he will blog again soon I am very sure but he has been rather busy at slave school learning and peparing for our next real life meeting, but if there is enough demand he will write again here and on his "story" post in the R18 story section,"There he was".

Sir.




Sir,

Here are the answers to your questions. They are not perhaps direct answers but I tried to answer them in full in a more cohesive text - so that is why I named this letter a report. And yes Sir, I quoted a lot this time. Not because I did not want to write Sir, but because I simply found some quotes on ukstudentalpha’s tumblr blog so good and so “my own” I had to include them in my text.

Describe your Master.

What do you like about him?
What are you grateful for?
How has he improved your life?
What does he do that makes you quiver in submissive bliss?
How has he changed you?

I think describing a person is a very difficult job so I would like to answer this question in a different way. Not by describing his attractive man body (he simply is an amazingly attractive hairy grizzly bear with moobs one would suck for hours - not just suck, feast on them, bite them, lick them, kiss them, worship them - a great always hard cock, big balls full of precious man spunk, nice beard and wicked eyes. And yes he smells amazing also. His feet are amazing, his sweat tastes amazing… I could really go on and on) or focusing on his character, or his confident behaviour, but simply describing him by not really describing him.
In a way my Master is someone you are not likely to meet or at least not likely to find his description anywhere. And there is no reason for him to place his description anywhere. When you meet him, you know. You know he simply is a person you always wondered whether such person really exists or not. He is one of those rare gems that you read about in blogs and stories and you always wonder - can such a person be true or is he just an act of fiction?
He has so many experience, so much knowledge and what I find most attractive he knows it. and he is willing to share this. He knows how good he is, how superior he is and what effect this has on a weak submissive like me. A boy who always craved, needed and deserved discipline, routine, control and someone to please and dedicate his time, mind and body to. He simply is what people call a natural. He knows he is there to be in charge, to give orders, to punish and discipline but also to help boys embrace their role as slaves. As human beings who deserve respect and care but only if they submit and admit their inferiority to real men.
Like every dominant he has his own needs and demands and exploring them and hopefully meeting them is something that makes me proud, wanted, cared for. To know you brought pleasure to someone who simply is there to receive pleasure and that you managed to do a good job is something that always really makes me quiver in a submissive bliss. To hear “good boy” is the biggest reward I can get. It is even more important than all physical rewards (and you may imagine how big a reward is to be on my knees at his feet, kneeling on cold kitchen floor, looking in his eyes full of strength, power but also responsibility. Worshiping him from feet up, embracing the roles - his superiority and your own inferiority. Putting everything but Sir behind to just serve and make him enjoy the moment in full. Let him know you are his, in his (safe) hands, knowing the pleasure you receive only depends on the pleasure you can give. And then being allowed to play with his body, lick it, worship it, grovel at his feet, beg to be allowed to suck his cock or once again suck on his nipples. Letting yourself go for his pleasure.). It is just something that blows my mind and at the same time always makes me want to offer him even more. In a way this is something I am most grateful every single time I achieve something not for myself but for Sir.

“Who owns your pussy?
You do, Sir.
Who owns your clit?
You do, Sir.
Who decides if or when you cum?
You do, Sir.
Who decides if you get hard?
You do, Sir.
Who makes the rules?
You do, Sir.
Who owns every hair on your body?
You do, Sir.
Who decides which if you’re allowed to grow hair or shave?
You do, Sir.
Who owns every one of your muscles?
You do, Sir.
That’s what you need, Isn’t it boy?
Yes Sir. I love it Sir. I need it so bad.
You need rules, don’t you boy?
Yes Sir. I love your rules. I love obeying you Sir.”

And in this way he changed me the most. He made me realise giving pleasure is better than being focused on my own egoistic needs. I guess some of us just are like this, that we receive so much more from giving flowers than receiving them. Because giving is in a way receiving. He let me experience this in real life, let me give him so much information and control but at the same time taught me to trust, talk, communicate.
This is more than just a sex lesson, it is a life lesson and it is one that improved my life.
Once again I can not find the best description in English so a quote is in place “People frequently think that kink and BDSM is about power and authority. It isn’t. It is about connection and manipulating that connection in a way that has profound impact on the people involved.” And yes, it has a profound effect on me.
Also I am not just grateful for everything he has thought me so far, for his encouragement, for his advice and also for allowing me to grow as a person and as a slave - trying new things, facing fears, dealing with great challenges like my weight, weak body…. My Master simply unlocked something in me and allowed me to work on this, fight my demons, express myself. For this I am grateful every day. I simply am grateful for a smile on his face when I make him proud. It is the best and biggest reward.
I am also grateful he made me realise it is not about me, about my puny pleasure which used to be a short, pathetic, automatic orgasm after just a few strokes of what I considered a nice cock and a sign of my predetermined role as a man who can just jerk off and forget about everyone else. With orgasm control he shoved me how obedience and devotion can bring a far bigger pleasure than a simple ejaculation. Like I read, some cocks do not deserve an orgasm without approval and I can only agree with it. Because it is better and more satisfying to always put Sir first. Yes, this makes me horny, on edge and sometimes just extremely emotional but I know it is what he likes and wants. And that is why it is always worth it. To just wait, offer him the control of my genitals. Even if they are controlled, used, tortured they still somehow play much more important role in my life then when they were used for fucking or masturbation. They serve as a toy for my Master’s pleasure.
And they can be another tool to show me I need something different than a hole to fuck. That it is not really a cock but just a part of my genitals. And I found a very similar experience in a blog: “Lately Master had been exploring emasculating me. I have never been more confused, but I’ve also never been happier. I cannot recall ever truly questioning my gender. I have always felt like a man and … that hasn’t changed at all. I am still left wondering what it is that sends such pleasure through my body when Master calls me his girl, or otherwise talks to or about me with that feminine lens. In all honesty I don’t really care, I just don’t want him to stop….The completely irrational part of my brain I think is latching onto that pure blissful emotion and thinking of all of the things that I can do for my Master. I’m not a girl. I’m not particularly feminine. My Master likes both of those things that I am not. The thought that I am becoming those things that he likes and that he is the one transforming me is euphoric.”
The hopefully answers the questions my Sir posed but at the same time poses more and more new questions - and this I think is a good thing, it is a sign things are going in the right direction, deeper, more intense. And although writing all this still does not make me completely understand everything, and I do question how Sir managed to take so much control of me, at the same time just touching my precious leather collar again makes me sure I made the right decision and makes me feel everything is just the way it was meant to be: a Master and his slave.

boy A

[slaveboy28]

Dear getDare users,

thank you for following my blog and thank you for any potential comments and remarks. Today’s blog is another “My full day of control” update.

Yes, Sir allowed me to have another very full day and I must admit this time I got even more excited. But not because of the tasks, but because it meant I will spend a whole day together with my Sir. I miss him so much and I was so happy when I heard his voice again yesterday. Thank you Sir.

I so hope I will do good today. I always want to give Sir my best and today I think it will mostly be a huge test for my nipples and my brain again - yes, destiny decided on another two for me very hard tasks. Who knows, perhaps you will become a part of them? But more on this when I get to them.

Writing this I have already woken up, immediately put on my nipple clamps that will stay on for a whole day (!) and edged as I do every morning - this gets harder every single day and it keeps me in a state of growing horniness. But I know Sir likes me this way, I know how much he likes me horny, constantly reminded “it” belongs to him and he can do with “it” whatever he pleases. He can make “it” spunk or just begging for a touch. I can not object as he knows better than me. And this is how I once again reached 14 days of chastity. But I think this will go on for quite some time. Even the dice denied me a chance to spunk…

I also had my morning pee and I do have my collar on and my toe and finger nails varnished in a slutty red. The markings are also on - Fucked Master’s property and my slave number. Yes, dear readers. I am now a registered slave. Thank you Sir.

After my morning edge I immediately put on my very special black panties. They are so special because I can still find stains of Sir’s spunk on them and this just makes me feel so hot, horny and wanted. The panties also always remind me what a gift Sir’s spunk is. I so need to taste it again. The panties were followed by my tight new jeans (thank you Sir for making me loose weight, it was not an easy thing to do Sir but I am really happy Sir I made it. And I do hope you find me more attractive now Sir, more fuckable for your amazing hard cock Sir) and socks. What a strange feeling not to be naked at home. It almost feels a bit wrong.

Before my tasks began and Sir arrived home I had a little bit of “free” time that was used per Sir”s special order - I again licked my toilet clean. It was not the most pleasant feeling but I just imagined I am doing this for him, I imagined he would soon come home and find it shining and this made everything much easier. It actually made it a very good chore.

A short summary of my “lucky” rolls:


MY full day of control - slave A

What you wear for morning exercises: Naked but marked "Sirs Cocksucking Slut".
Morning Exercises: 60 star jumps.
When will you do the morning exercise: Before Bed, at the end of the day.
What to eat - Breakfast: Whatever you wish - yogurt with fruits
How to eat breakfast: From a bowl on the floor, no using hands.
What to eat - Lunch: Nothing, you go hungry.
What to eat - Dinner: Plain raw vegetables.
How to eat dinner: Sitting at a table.
Shower: No shower.
Underwear: Up to you - special black panties
Top: Naked but nipple clamped.
Bottoms: New tight jeans.
Feet: Normal shoes and socks.
How to go to the bathroom to pee, or poo, when allowed: Toilet as normal for a slave, alternate humping and hovering.
How many tasks must you do today: 8 Tasks.
Bed clothing: Swimsuit.
Where to sleep: Bed lying upside-down (with just a cover).
Time to go to bed: 10pm.

Tasks:

1. Use a stiff brush and give each of the following areas 3 minutes of solid scrubbing: left ass cheek, right ass cheek, left nipple, right nipple, balls/dick

2. - Cover your ball sack in pegs, again, twist and pull on them for 20 minutes, removing and replacing them at a 90 degree angle every 5 minutes

3 - Grab a hairbrush, you are to give 15 swats to each of the following areas: left ass cheek, right ass cheek, left breast, right breast, balls. Then turn the brush over and do it again with the bristle side.

4 - Take some liquid soap, open your piss slit and drop 3 drips down inside and wait.

5 - Act as an animal for a minimum of 1 hour, you may not stand, use the furniture, or even talk during this period.

6 - Post an ad (for one day) begging for a Master/Mistress (I know you already have one), you have 12 hours to decide who to choose, they will be able to use you for 14 Days however they wish (within your limits).

7 - Create a thread on Getdare that asks people to use you for an hour, as they see fit, as a slave boy. (Thread open for 5 days)

8 - Cover your body in degrading words, head to toe, then take pictures or show me.


But before I could actually start with my tasks I needed to wait for Sir who was already looking forward to seeing me eat my healthy breakfast from a bowl on the floor, no using hands. Everything was prepared and I used the time left to write this blog update.

Huh… Sir is online…. “smiles”

There was no time for me to think, Sir immediately wanted to see me eat my breakfast and it was quite a struggle. It is very humiliating to eat from a bowl and I am sure I made a pretty big mess out of myself. But I tried to lap it all up as best as I could. There was just a bit left on the bottom and Sir wanted nothing to be wasted so I filled my bowl with water and just lapped up what remained at the bottom.

Breakfast was thus sorted (I was allowed to clean my face with my hands and lick them clean, huh, thank you Sir) and it was time for the painful tasks. Each one does not seem very painful but I had to do them all at once, with only a short kneeling corner time break and at the end I was really waiting so hard for them to be over. I was sweating as hell, perhaps more than ever before and must have looked completely pathetic - sweating, counting the strokes, thanking Sir as my bottom and my nipples became more and more sensitive, more and more pink. Especially the nipples and the clamps were not making things any easier. I got what fate decided and I can only hope Sir got the desired level of pink on my bum and at least some pleasure from my self torture. I tried so hard not to hold myself back, really please him but it is in no way comparable with his strong, dominant hands. But I know the markings on my bum will remind me of my position as a slave for a few more days. And I am somehow glad I have them, glad that they make me sit with caution and glad they show my bum just like it should be. Glowing and bruised.

Luckily at least the liquid soap really did not have the desired effect and I could spend my hour acting as a puppy a bit more relaxed. Well just a bit more as it was another very emotionally hard hour. Only a few times did Sir say something and being stuck with a ball, a sneaker and some slippers was very far from fun. It made me feel very bad and I tried so hard to get Sir’s attention - yes, even barking, making silly sounds, chewing on the slippers, playing go fetch, sniffing around, wiggling my bum… But like I already wrote the last time I simply got extremely bored at the end, unwanted, lonely, almost a bit angry. Nothing really helped and I was the happiest person (yes person, not a puppy) when the time was over. How do puppies do it? I would be one very demanding puppy, I must admit. The personal contact with my Master almost put my mind to an ease. But just very briefly. It was time for the most challenging two tasks of the day - yes for me they are worse than any pain.

6 - Post an ad (for one day) begging for a Master/Mistress (I know you already have one), you have 12 hours to decide who to choose, they will be able to use you for 14 Days however they wish (within your limits).

7 - Create a thread on Getdare that asks people to use you for an hour, as they see fit, as a slave boy. (Thread open for 5 days)

I have already done task 6 once before and being completely honest, luckily, there was no reply - I felt good I am an unwanted boy. I felt good my Master “was stuck with me”. But I know this is probably wrong way of thinking. I know Sir would like to have a boy he can be proud of. This time the stakes were even higher - become someone else’s slave for two weeks?!?!. And of course no excuses, no shortcuts. The add must be good and so does the thread on getDare. The same questions were in my head like the last time: What to think about this task? Will anyone apply? If so, who should I choose? Will I disappoint my Master? And again only questions without any proper answers. Apart from one. I should again do my best for Sir and do as told. Sir knows best. After a long emotional struggle I wrote this add: http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=295384 (http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=295384)

After posting it I was allowed to pee (recycle everything) and proceed with my next task. I must admit I do not completely imagine how this will work but I tended to do perhaps a bit more daring thread. Nothing very special but something what could first of all help me become a better slave for Sir. To learn something from this challenging task in order to make Sir happy. If there are replies I hope the readers see this intention and not take the post as seeking attention or plain dares.

At the end this was posted: http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=295402

I was so frightened when I posted the above message. I really am not looking forward to potential cam requests. I am afraid I will not be able to oblige and this is just something so extreme at the moment for me and I really think … well it takes time to trust people especially because I am not the one who would enjoy showing myself on cam - even without a face. But I do not want to go in a complete state of panic just yet - I am hoping … no …. I know my Sir understands this and will act appropriately if needed. This .. I can not even completely write about this .. We will see what happens. I may be a slave but I do not want to be a cam slut. Never. It simply is a huge test for me. But deep down I know the right answer is to trust Sir.

After this task I had my simple dinner and then started the last task. I covered my body with as many degrading words as possible. Another very humiliating and demeaning experience. I think the most difficult and painful one for this day. To some it may sound simple, nothing special but for me it was another point reached. Sir saw me and it was hard to fully grasp he really will understand all this. I knew he would but a part of my brain still had difficulties. I can not hide this and Sir also immediately felt it. How torn and emotionally involved I am. But he did a very important thing, one I can write about it now after a conversation - after care we had. He told me to remove the word looser. I am not a looser and I am grateful that Sir reminded me of this. I am on my journey and I may be a lot of things but I am not a looser. So this word was removed and will never be put on me again. Never.

Before publishing this and doing my exercise and corner time I can only say that today’s Full day of slavery was for me much harder than the first one. It was so extremely emotionally intense and it also involved a lot of pain. I now feel utterly wasted but I am still extremely happy I spent it with Sir. I tried very hard for Sir and I believe I did good. Currently I am just so overwhelmed about everything that has happened today. And I think it will stay with me for a few more days. I always have a very hard time writing about emotional exhaustion and the deeper I go the more I understand the importance of aftercare and the more I discover what is like being a slave the more I know that this is a constant mental struggle. One that can only be done with a special and understanding Master as my Sir. Thank you Sir.

Excuse me dear readers, but this is as much as I can write today… I simply need a good sleep and a break.

[m55uk4younger]

I think your next blog is due, or a you getting bored with your new life, now real life work pressures are making things a lot harder?
If so, just say, you know where the "door" is, just walk through it back to the light of freedom and back to your normal life!

Sir.

[m55uk4younger]

I think your next blog is due, or a you getting bored with your new life, now real life work pressures are making things a lot harder?
If so, just say, you know where the "door" is, just walk through it back to the light of freedom and back to your normal life!

Sir.

Well boy, your next blog is well overdue, its now April, as if I have to remind you!

Sir.

[slaveboy28]

Dear getDare users,

it has been a while since I have last written a blog and I think the time has come for an update. I must admit this version is a second version I have written because Sir said my first was not up to my usual high standard. I accepted his remark as I know it was extremely difficult writing the first version and I always want to give my Sir best. But in order to do so I think I have to be completely honest also about the reason - the reason may not be the best word - the feelings I had writing at first, knowing it will be published on getDare. Something held me back a bit. Something was not right. What exactly? I tried to dig deeper and find an explanation and I think - this may sound impolite or even a bit weird I have come up with an explanation, eruption of thoughts below. In an answer which may not be a final answer but it is … it is something erupting from me again and this I think is how I write best.
So strange, I know, but I somehow needed a push. And this push came from the reaction of Sir, from him being displeased with my first version. His and only his reaction allowed me to start frantically typing again, writing this, words flowing again. In my view Sir once again achieved something very special - he inspired me. And this is the whole truth and for this I am once again extremely grateful. It was not just the fear of loosing a fuck from Sir (oh, fuck, how I want and need to be fucked by Sir, how I crave his amazing cock, how I want to please him milking his cock with my ass…. but I must not get carried away now, I need to think with my head, let the words flow…), it was something so much more intellectual, so deep. He opened my brain again and enabled me to write. He moved something in me that held me back. He reminded me how important this blog is to him and also to me, my journey. Thank you Sir. It may sound very pathetic reading all this but in me the ability to write goes somewhere so deep in my brain, it is amazing how a simple remark, comment from a person I respect, adore and obey for so long, opened a complete new dimension.
I know he reminded me of my blog before but at that time I could not break this wall, this barrier I had in my head. I think he knew I needed a different kind of a push and I am glad he made it. I hope you see this, dear readers, as an honest sign of how special he is, how he simply knows.
It is also another confirmation of how special this journey is, how lucky I am to have found Sir and … I need to go back to the title of the blog …. how extremely important Becoming slave A and losing control of my useless little genitals is for me.
So what held me back? I think there are several paths of thinking I need to explore and they are a bit interconnected. One of them is a reaction from my Sir which was resonating in my brain for quite a while and I want to get it out in the open, although it may be not nice to read it or may be seen as a sign of me being overconfident or cocky. But, please, please, do not take it this way. Take it more as material to give it a thought.
My precious, very special Sir is always very thoughtful, polite and caring about others - be that Doms or subs here on getDare and he always reminds me how important it is to communicate, to say thank you, to praise or comment. To also be very critical and always expect, but mostly give more and more, only the best. It is an amazing quality of his to always be respectful to people. And recently reading getDare I found this communication lacking a bit. The AMA is being spammed, no matter what a great and valuable work the administrators are doing (Thank you for this!), there is less and less comments and advice from users, although there are some very special exemptions that surprise me every single time. And I sensed this as well. I do not think I need or deserve praise but I sometimes missed the days when I started writing this blog and received feedback that really helped me grow, allowed me to rethink, see things from a different perspective. And I would like this to continue, users to keep helping other users, lost boys searching their Masters or just exploring hidden wishes, needs and desires. So this is my attempt to go back to writing, to share a bit of my journey with you but also to ask you to support each other. Because your support, your comments matter and please do comment, if only by hitting like or by writing a nasty message that my way of thinking is completely wrong. I am not good at commenting, I know, but I try to give my share by writing so all I can say is that I will also be a part of this and try to be more prompt with writing a blog. And also if you have any questions or are intrigued by something a bit more please do reply.
What also held me back a little was actually my growing wish and need to spend as much time as possible with my Sir. He has become such a centre of my attention that I have, I admit, forgotten about you a bit. This was selfish and a mistake, I have to admit. I hope, dear readers, you will excuse me and hopefully enjoy my future writing. And there is actually quite a lot to write about as my journey develops and I think continues to grow to a level I have never imagined, especially not at the start. And I am so grateful for this. I am so extremely grateful I met Sir. And I met him here on getDare, so, once again, wonders are possible and sometimes internet allows us to achieve amazing things.
Amazing to a point I will be able to meet my Master in less than three weeks again. In real. Yes, I am such a lucky boy. And you probably can not even imagine how excited and happy I am to be able to once again feel, touch, taste and smell him. He who has given me so much in the past few months and has enabled me to grow both as a slave and a person. I long to be on my knees again, worshipping him, watch him use and abuse my boy body, hoping he will penetrate me, allow me to suck his beautiful cock, kiss his big, low hanging balls and suckle on his man nipples. For hours not minutes. For every day we were not physically together.
Soon… so soon … body to body, skin to skin, heart to heart…
I have already written a lot about my feelings in a story that can be found in a post by Sir (thank you Sir also for your posts. They are special and help me grow, see things from a different perspective, but they can also be seen as such amazing lessons for other. Sharing the knowledge is worth of praise, Sir) and you are once again invited to read it. It is so much more than just a story but I think this can be sensed. It is a wish list in a way but it is also a confession of my hidden desires and feelings for Sir.
I also continue to talk to Sir every single day, communicate with him and write him reports. They are a bit more private, a bit special but I will let you have a glimpse so you will also know how much Sir means to me and how this journey is evolving:
“You were asking me quite often lately whether this is what I really want? Is this what I need? Am I really happier and more satisfied? Am I strong enough? Do I want to continue my training, Sir? Am I learning how precious thing I have being owned by you? And there is only one simple answer. Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir.”
And I will be able to say this in real so soon, dear readers. And I am reminded of this not just every morning when I wake up having Sir in my mind but also in a bit different way. I have become a walking calendar. Each morning I take my black marker and mark the days till our meeting (on my chest, close to my heart, just below my special leather collar). It is more than just a number on my chest, it is a very special marking that enables me to focus, strive to be a good boy so he will be able to use me in every way he pleases. I will again be his. Safe in his hands, pushed, tested to my limits hoping my struggle will bring him pleasure and joy. And only then will I be able to get my pleasure. Knowing I did a good job, I behaved the way I have been taught in “slave school”.
Will I do good? Will he still like me? Will I be able to bring him more?
There still are a lot of questions but knowing him I remain optimistic, not thinking about my pleasure but just trying to go through all the lessons he has given me so far. I think I learned a lot in the months we were separated but I also know there is still so much to learn…
Thank you Sir for being my Captain, for steering my ship, letting me serve you and for allowing me to meet you again in real. I simply can not wait to meet again….
I need this meeting just like I need rules, discipline and control. I need to be a good boy, obeying Sir’s orders, doing as I am told, even if it means asking permission to poo, then hovering over the toilet, watching “it” make a huge splash as droplets of water hit my face and I struggle to remain in a position. I blush but I smile as I know I once again did as ordered. I may have humiliated myself again but I did it for Sir and he will be able to see this in real again … soon …. so soon.
I do not want to walk back to the light of freedom. I want to remain his boy, his slave. Especially after a special gift he prepared for me a few days ago for a very special occasion. And of this I shall write in an update that will follow next, probably tomorrow already. I will share it with you dear readers and, please do not take a grudge, if it will be a praise of Sir. Because he deserves it and I am so proud it is me that has the honour to write it and sing him praise.
Huh, I am sorry for such a long post which is a result of quite frantic writing like I said at the start but somehow I had to express this, put it off my chest in order to find some balance to start writing this blog again and mostly start writing again about what I cherish most - my Sir and my journey.
Thank you for reading this and if you would like to have future insights into my journey do not hesitate to write or ask questions. I will respond and also in such way hopefully progress further on…So I will be a better boy for a Gem I met here among you, dear getDare users- my Master, my Sir.
Last but not least - thank you Sir for doing what you did an hour ago. Moved something so deep in me again, helped me cross a wall, triggered something that has a result in this blog. But not just in this chapter but also in the chapters that will follow.
Thank you all and please forgive me for being so long and emotional.
boy A

[slaveboy28]

Dear getDare users,

Here is the second part of the 36th chapter of my blog and as promised I would like to once again focus on what I cherish most - my Sir and my journey. And this - in my opinion - evolving journey is filled not only with moments of pain, doubt, hard work and every day struggle but also great moments of joy, happiness and, yes, naughty rewards. One of such special occasions happened after 25 days of chastity when I was celebrating a very special day. For the reasons of this blog I will (appropriately I think) call it my slave birthday. After all I was allowed a chocolate caramel cupcake and a beer - really a special treat.

Sir prepared me amazing surprises (yes, plural!) that were so carefully planned and also communicated in advance, giving me a chance to prepare (shave again so I was completely smooth, redo my nails and yes put a giant honest smile on my face) but also so the tension in my brain and my useless little genitals grew and grew until I was a horny slutty mess. Surely 40 minutes of daily edging for more than a week before this special day did not help, nor did wearing my very special white panties on the day itself. A gift from Sir when we were last together. Thank you, Sir.

That something very special is going to happen was confirmed also by a specially designed card I received from my Sir. In it he called me “pup” and I almost melted. Woof, woof! Pup!! Sir’s pup.

So …. after a long day it was time to chat with Sir. He made sure I listened and also made sure I was already on the verge of spunking, deeply involved in this special day. But Sir decided not to rush, he wanted me to enjoy this day and I was glad I could just relax, listen, talk and be there with him, already craving to see him, to turn on my cam so he could see my slimmer body. He was such a teddy bear, such a kind Master, really concerned about the well being of his boy, his pup.

After what seemed like hours - nice, gentle, horny hours I was allowed to turn on my cam and see Sir and his amazing body again. His smile, his nipples that were making me even hornier and more excited than ever. He is just soooo lickable and worshipable and mmmm…. I was on fire and Sir decided to give this phrase an additional meaning so he told me to light a candle which was prepared for my cupcake and drop wax on my chest. Huh… a completely new and very painful experience but it also made “it” even harder and the tension in me just kept growing, especially seeing Sir on cam. I tried to be a good boy for him, obeying, letting him guide me and as always be in control. Even though it was a special day. Sir first. Always.

We talked some more before I was finally told to touch “it”, edge a few times until I was allowed that final stroke that brought me over the edge. I was allowed to spunk and knowing I can cum I erupted in streams of joy, happiness, my jizz covering my body. “Thank you Sir, Thank you Sir, Thank you Sir”. I kept repeating, gathering my spunk and doing so already preparing the icing for my cupcake. I ate it slowly, letting Sir enjoy the view of me eating the cum covered chocolate desert as my orgasm lasted and lasted turning again into one of the best orgasms in my life. I was happy, proud also I could spunk on command. My useless little genitals behaved the way they were supposed to.

I was drained but happy, so very happy that I just lay there, trying to think and speak but all I could think of was my Master. After a mind-blowing orgasm I kept thinking how much I want to touch him, hide in him, embrace him, kiss him and be close to his beautiful body. I told him about that in a thank you letter I wrote for him, told him how excited I was listening to his voice, being able to travel with my finger on screen all over his body. I am almost sure he felt it, he felt my gentle touches.

Sir … such an amazing person, such an amazing Master. And it was so much more than just being allowed to spunk. It was being allowed to be close to him, to share a very special moment with him. I hope he enjoyed it. I hope he enjoyed seeing me in bliss and I can only hope I will be able to give it all back to him. In real. Soon…

Even now I can not really describe everything - it was simply so intense, so special and instantly all my struggles were forgotten. One single thought remained. I want to continue serving Sir, I want to be his boy, his pup, his slave. I want to learn more, become a better boy for him. I want to bring him pleasure he brought me. No.. Much more that. Yes, even more.

What a day that was.

Thank you so very much Sir, thank you for this special gift that will stay with me forever. I will always remember my slave birthday, I will always remember those precious moments together. And I promise to learn and strive to bring you more.

Writing this, days after this special occasion, my mind is still focused only on Sir, only on how to give back, how to say thank you again and again. Not in words but also in actions.

I hope, dear readers, you now see and understand what I see. What a gift I have found and why I do not want to walk back to the light of freedom.

Thank you for reading and as always please comment. But also maybe send a few suggestions on how I should thank Sir. Good advice is always highly appreciated. He will decide of course but new ideas can help and I never know what may intrigue Sir.

boy A

[m55uk4younger]

I think an update is due, boy A

[slaveboy28]

Dear all,

It has been quite a long time since my last update and Sir was kind enough to understand all the work obligations I had in the recent days. So there is not much to write apart from one very amazing thing - meeting Sir again. So this will be the focus of today’s update as it was also the focus of all my activities in recent days, weeks and months.

Yes, months have passed since Sir sent me to slave school and the need to meet him has been growing and growing ever since we parted in January. There were ups and downs, challenges to be met, lessons to be learned but what I knew from the moment I returned home from our last real life meeting is that I simply need to feel, smell, taste, touch, please, obey and worship him again. And this need is growing daily even now.

Every morning I take a black marker and write a new number, counting down the days to our next meeting. It was number 4 today. Four long but also sweet days,

I have butterflies in my belly. There is a feeling of slight nervousness - will I do good? Will I be able to please him? Will I make him smile? Will I be able to prove in action what I have learned so far in slave school? Will I make him spunk?

I will do my absolute best. I will be his boy, his girl, his slave, his pet, his slut, his kinky source of pleasure, his toy to play with. Whatever Sir likes and chooses. Everything to bring HIM pleasure, to show him how much he means to me and what he has brought me in the past few months. And this is not just “it” talking, not just my useless little genitals anticipating both pain and pleasure - they will have to wait. Sir first. Always.

I am already trying to plan. Plan having in mind that the best thing I can do is just let myself go, forget about my puny pleasure, my immediate wishes and my animal instincts. I trust him enough to know I will be safe, I will be taken care of and my limits will be respected. I know the best thing to do is simply obey - Yes Sir, thank you Sir. This will bring him pleasure, this will hopefully make him smile and this will perhaps brings me the ultimate reward. And no matter how unbelievable this sounds, dear readers, it is not my orgasm, it is first two powerful words “good boy” and perhaps, only then a chance for me to cross the edge and climax. But really only when Sir is pleased, satisfied, happy. It is all I was thinking about in the recent days. Of course there were also naughty, dirty, kinky thoughts, there were moments where I could only think of his cock penetrating my wet, itching pussy, him edging me, tying me up, spanking me, using me, but the wish to please him always came first.

It is such an amazing dynamic - to know my pleasure can only be reached through Sir getting his pleasure first.

I can not hide the fact that I am also getting a little shaky and sweaty, my mind sometimes almost reaching overdrive, so today I will just try to relax after a very long week and mentally prepare for our meeting. Go through things I have learned and experienced so far. This will help me calm down and will also help me perform better, I hope. If you have any additional advice, as always, comments are more then welcome.

So excited, so happy.

My heart is racing again and these words can never express my current feelings. Some of them are reserved only for Sir, as he reads a very special daily diary. He gets to know my dreams (yes, I do dream about him. I dream about being even more submissive and controlled), my naughty wishes, my fears and dilemmas. It is I think how we managed to reach another meeting - being open and honest, even when the sky was grey. Trust. Trust. Trust.

Four days dear readers - I doubt I will be able to write more before or during the meeting. I want to focus all my energy on Sir and days we will spend together. He is my Captain, my Master, my Sir.

I hope I will not get too emotional and just burst into tears when we meet, but even if I do Sir will know it is because of him, because I can see my Gem again.

Yes, dear readers, a few more days and I will be in his hands, controlled, used, pushed, fighting for his pleasure. But also begging to fuck me, to please give me the fucks I earned in slave school. Please, Sir.

Wish me luck, wish us luck.

Thank you for reading.

boy A

[m55uk4younger]

The last post is not the standard of quailty I expect from you boy A, I know you wrote it half hearted.

Sir.

[slaveboy28]

Dear all,

Sir thought my previous update was a bit short and not the best quality and as I really really do not want to let him down just days before we meet again I will try to update you a bit more on how this journey continues although, honestly, I find it extremely difficult to write here on getDare. Something is holding me back a bit, probably the fact that I am missing Sir so much and the meeting is approaching. We spent so much time talking online and my thoughts are now “offline” - in real. And this means they are a bit further away from pen and paper, from you getDare users. They are so much closer to Sir than they are to this forum, he is so much deeper in my brain than he ever was. Perhaps it is hard to hear or understand this but really I simply somehow want us, our time together and not the whole getDare community together. It is almost the same as when I tried to write about the first meeting and there was a complete blockade. Only when we parted was I able to write again. When he was not so close, when he was not all around me - not just physically but mentally embracing me. He is always in control but as the meeting approaches this control only extends and binds me in a way even more to him.

I am fighting with this feeling. Not feelings of devotion and commitment to Sir (they are true and deep) but the feelings of wanting him just for myself - to be the one who brings him pleasure, to really be his boy after such a long time in slave school. I find it harder and harder to let you in this world dear readers. Is this selfish? In a way it probably is as he is the one who decides (I always remember this, I always know he can just say no, he can disown me anytime he wants - what a scary thought) but at the same time I do not think I should hate myself for such feelings of loyalty and dedication to him and him only. I think all this just made my writing more rational, perhaps with a bit of a distance. I could again and again write about the horny thoughts I have, my naughty wishes, my lust and my gratitude to Sir but this is pointless. It is not about me. I am at a point where I need to show him this in real. Because my wishes are only partially mine - they are mine to a point they please HIM. Because all this I am doing for him.

My heart is burning for this special person whom I will be meeting again and I know writing this blog is primarily meant for Sir but as it has become public, just days, hours before the meeting it has become so difficult to write. I am in a crunch, barely able to wait, walking around nervously, thinking of how I will arrive, how I will meet him, how will the last few minutes drag. What will he think of me? Will I be able to please him the way he deserves. As I have learned a lot in the past few months, I just want to be able to really meet his expectations. In a way it is even more intense then it was before the first meeting. Then it was different - it was after all a first meeting and so many things could have gone wrong. But now I know how special he is, how amazing Master and Captain he is, it is just Sir, Sir, Sir. Everywhere I look there is Sir, everything I do there is Sir. My mind is already in overdrive, my thoughts are rushing everywhere. I try to focus, try to relax, get out of this crunch I am in but the feelings of anticipation, fear of disappointing Sir are always here. I hope I will be able to sleep, to get some rest and be in the best possible shape for him. For he has become so much more. He is real and I want this real meeting again. It does not feel right anymore to just write about this, I have to prove this to him when we meet. That I want him to enjoy. I would like him to feel this, not just read. Not for my pleasure but for his pleasure. I can wait but I can now only wait in real, seeing his pleasure come first. And I know all this fears, all this irregular heart beats will disappear the moment I see him again. I feel this, I feel what I have already written in one of my stories:

“My heart starts pounding and I start to sweat. Cold, nervous sweat runs down my spine but I only walk faster. I do not look back, I do not stop, I need to be next to him as soon as possible. I see him there and I almost cry but it is not the time to feel emotional. It is time to show strength so I take a deep breath, wait for him with my eyes lowered to approach me before raising my eyes to his question “Looking for somebody?” I almost melt as I hear his voice and say the magic word “Sir!”. I accept his hug and give him a kiss. A proper kiss I longed for so long. X Sir. I stay there in the safety and comfort of his strong bear hands, inhaling his scent (unshowered…just for me, just like he promised…and he always keeps his promises. Always.). I forget about the world around me for a moment, burry myself in his chest before I gather the courage once again and whisper in his ear “Please Sir, use me Sir. I am all yours, Sir”.
“Good boy!”
All my questions are answered, I instantly know what I am to do so I simply pick up his suitcase and follow… Eager to please. “

I am eager to please. And in this mood the day went … slowly … minutes dragged, time stopped. I spent a lot of time preparing, trying not to cry, trying not to be almost angry because I have to wait a few more days. I am really really struggling. He is now so close but still so far and I just want him to be next to me as soon as possible. I just want to be close to his feet. Have a few minutes to just hold him. His hands, his feet, anything. Or to just be close enough to smell him. At the moment he is the only one who can calm me down.

Fuck… and it happened. I am crying already. Can they be called tears of longing? Tears of missing someone so much… I almost promised myself not to cry before the meeting. I am a strong slave, I will make it to the meeting without an emotional outburst. But it just happened. The tears just came and I feel so lost again. Sir. Sir. Soon, so fucking soon. Is this a normal reaction? It must be I guess when you want, cherish, adore someone so much. When you want to bring him only the best.

As I was writing this Sir came online. And he said: sush boy, wipe that tear away, soon, very soon. How did he know? I feel almost guilty I cried, but he can, he must now my feelings… I can not feel guilty for wanting to make him happy to the point I start crying. I hate to imagine him waiting as well. I know he is so much stronger then me, so much more experienced but I hate to know that he is also waiting, that - because we live in a real world - he also needs to wait. Why can I not just “beem myself there to him”. Cook him a meal right now, massage his feet right now, whisper in his ear “use me, please, Sir, anyway you want at this very moment”. So HE would enjoy sooner.

I need to prove him in real it is not about me. And when you are so deeply involved I find words are not enough.

Sir, I want you to enjoy our meeting, you to use me as you wish, you to have all the fun with your fuck toy, you to have amazing days with me as your servant, as your slave, your boy, your girl, your pup. I shaved myself very carefully today Sir, for you. To see me smooth, just like you like me. I paid special attention to my bum area - so you will enjoy the sight of it. Will you please fuck me Sir? I will wait, I will. I trimmed my nails, used hand cream…I wanted to make myself as attractive for you as possible, Sir. I worked on your gift again, I cleaned my toys Sir.

I must not fall apart from lust, desire, devotion, pinning just days before the meeting… I am so scared I will do something wrong at this crucial stage. I can not fuck up now. I just want these dreadful days to pass as soon as possible.

Still crying….

boy A

[slaveboy28]

Dear all,

How can one even start writing a blog update after one of the biggest highs in his life? After being so close to a person he worships, adores, finds extremely sexually attractive and longs for his touches, words, commands?
After being next to my Master, my Captain, my Sir who has given me so much, who has profoundly changed me and in a way made me a different person? A boy, his slave, his pup, his toy, even his girl.
How can one even start writing after a real life meeting which brought me pain and pleasure, love and tears, waves of emotions, long hard fucks and yet another rollercoaster of different feelings which merged into a single thought, a single emotion - humble gratitude: Thank you, Sir. Thank you so much!
Thank you for allowing me to meet you again in real, thank you for the opportunity to serve you and thank you for all the amazing fucks, moments of passion and moments of biggest fears and tears, but also happiness being comforted by you and your strong hands. You were - you are something so special, a true gem in the world of Dominants and us - sometimes completely useless and overly demanding submissives who need discipline and control. Simply a Man to control our lives, our puny pleasures and our useless little genitals. For us the way to pleasure is through other’s pleasure. I hope I managed to show that - at least to a certain level. (I was so happy on our last night together - you spunked first, it was your pleasure first, it was you seeing me unable to spunk at that moment - I am so sorry Sir, I should have done better and obey but my body betrayed me. But you reached the climax and were even generous enough to give me a second chance - my final orgasm, so strong and so … yours in a way. I hope you felt that. I hope you felt it was different from the rest of them.)
I made mistakes, I was not perfect, I was far from it but I hope our real time meeting was enjoyable for both of us. I hope I managed to show at least some progress, you - dear readers - have been following in my blog. I hope I brought joy to my Master. I hope I made him happy and earned a chance to serve him in the future. To earn a chance to keep updating this blog and my journey. Journey which started months ago, was full of ups and downs, was crowned with my first real time meeting, my first fuck - thank you Sir for taking my anal virginity -, my first term in slave school and another great (much more than that) real life meeting just days ago.

How can one even start writing a blog update after one of the biggest lows in his life? After waking up lonely, scared and devastated - away from my Master’s body, his eyes looking so deep in my soul, reading me like an open book?
How can I write after reading an update from my Master, seeing everything I did wrong, all the moments where I failed at being a good boy. Feeling extreme guilt, pain, sadness I made mistakes, I could not offer him more and there is now no chance to correct them. I am so far away from him and I feel extremely bad. I wish I were braver, I could read his mind better, I could eliminate my ego completely. I wish I could be even more submissive. I wish I could talk more but I was not just shy but so overwhelmed with feelings, so burning with happiness I could just be near him I sometimes froze. I was awkward but towards the end of our meeting I think I relaxed. It took me too long perhaps…
Shyness, nerves, anxiety, fear … They are all a part of my journey.
Tears.
Failures.
There is little comfort in knowing it was only our second meeting and I really really pushed myself, tried to overcome my fears, my shyness…
I want to be strong.

Why am I writing this, dear readers? Mostly to show you how amazing Sir is, what joy he brought to a boy on a journey. What a strong, responsible, demanding but caring, firm but fair person he is. What a joy it is to be able to serve him. What a find he is. I keep thinking I am not worthy of him. He deserves so much more. But selfish as I am I want an opportunity to keep serving him, to continue my life in slave school. To hopefully come to our third meeting.

I think I learned a lot in slave school already but there is still so much to learn, there are places not yet discovered, there is so much room for improvement. To bring more pleasure to Sir, his mind, hid body.

I missed him so much, pinned for him during last four months being away from him. And I still feel I was not good enough. How can one ever be good enough for someone with so much experience, so much dedication to the world of D/s? All I can say is I tried - hard. And this will be a short resume of my attempt to bring him pleasure in real life, not just online. It may differ from his vision which can be read in his blog/story - like I wrote before, I read it, acknowledged my mistakes but I would still like to present my view. Not to brag, not to deny my mistakes or hide them, not to search excuses but just to show you, dear readers, how special and patient he is, how much joy he brought to me and how deeply he affected me and my last few days. I will do everything I can to improve, not to dwell on my mistakes and overcome even more fears. I hope he will be there with me in the future. Please Sir, may I please continue serving you?

He is better at writing, more precise - short sentences he writes can give you a slight impression of how good he is at reading my emotions and thoughts. And he is no different in real life. But in real life there are also his stares, his facial expressions, his body movements. And they make a giant difference. I tried to read them, remember them, burn them in my brain and during a few days recognise them. Not every single time and not always correct but being there for a few days helped me to relax and embrace my position as a slave more and more. What would have happened if I stayed another week? Why could we not have another hour, another day, another week? All good things in life come to an end, I know…. But this is still so challenging to accept.

Everything still seems blurry - it was so intense. Both mentally and physically. Not much sleep, little time to relax (I tried to be focused only on Sir for most of the time but I had minutes where I “escaped”, I admit), body and brain in heat 24/7. I am still trembling, my knees are still weak, my mind in an overdrive, trying to cope with this massive down. Fearing I was not good enough. Fearing he still is not satisfied.

I try to remember …

There I was waiting for Sir at the platform. The train arrived two minutes earlier - I saw it approach the station, saw people coming out of the coaches and scanned every single one just for a tenth of a second until I saw him at the very end of the platform. He was one of the last to exit the train. I tried to relax, tried to lower my eyes but could not - not until very last steps he made towards me. It was just like I wrote before the meeting: My heart pounding and I started to sweat. Cold, nervous sweat ran down my spine. I just stood there. Hoping. Overthinking perhaps. But wishing to be next to him as soon as possible. I saw him there and I almost cried but it was really not the time to feel too emotional. It was time to show strength so I took a deep breath, waited for him with my eyes lowered to approach me before raising my eyes to his question “Looking for somebody?” I almost melted as I heared his voice and said the magic word “Sir!”. I accepted his hug and gave him a kiss. A kiss I longed for so long. X Sir. Was it a long kiss? No. But it was special, very special. It was gentle and caring. It was a wow kiss. I really forgot about the world around me.
And I just forgot about everyone, I almost rushed him to the underground but he took me outside, we set down, he held me - through my jeans. I was his. Yes, quiet, shy, scared but his. It started to get easier although I was still torn about my red varnished nails. How could I not be?
I carried his bag.
He touched me a lot. Discretely.
But I just wanted to be at our apartment as soon as possible… selfish? Probably but I waited for four months and I was burning. Quietly burning with desire to be alone with him. If I said more I would have broken down.
He sat down, relaxed a bit before I was allowed on my knees, on the floor to smell him, undo his shoes, his socks, lick his magnificent sweaty feet (mmmm, I miss this smell already. Thank you Sir for not showering for your boy.). He spanked me, explored my body, placed me over his knees, he saw my slimmer body - I tried to be good, to make our first moments together memorable. It was amazing. It was a perfect start of our few days together. It brought me in a special mood. Thank you Sir.

He took me to cinema, he made me hard just discretely touching me, he made me shiver, he made me … It was so special to be just next to him. Nothing else, being next to him was enough. It sill is a bit blurry. I do not really know if the movie was good…. yes it was.. it was. But I could still not talk, I was still in a bit of a cramp but also, I admit, in turmoil about my varnished nails. I could not think, I could not talk. He was there!!! He was next to me!!! After four months … wow….wow…. Thank you, Sir. How could he remain so calm?

He did not stay calm when we came back … he fucked me. Hard. Deep. Powerful fuck that woke me up, caused me to climax without cumming. A braingasm. His hard cock in me. Sir in me. Thank you, Sir.

I did thank him, not always, not enough. I was still tense the next day when we went out. I was sometimes selfish, I was not attentive enough, now I know. I tried. He is of course demanding, but this is a good thing - for me to learn, to become better. To accept my punishment. Also the one that followed in the evening - a slap to my face from a Grizzly, being taken to the bathroom and pissed on. How can one describe this? At first, just a second of excitement, than as the piss started flowing and cooling on my body (I hate cold, hate it!!!) the mental pain kicked in. He left me there, alone, pissed on, cold, shaking. I shook as I was thinking of my mistakes but I did not dare to move. I deserved all this, I needed to learn. I hurt him! I made Sir angry! I just lay there, my eyes closed. I felt bad. I was a bad boy and I crawled to the bedroom where he was already sleeping. I could not wake him up. He deserved to sleep. It was his bed. I took a blanket and feeling rightfully abandoned, lonely fell a sleep on the floor. It was painful, it was a dreadful punishment, not be able to spend all the time in his arms but he woke up - spat on me to wake me up. Degrading but so good at that moment. It was Sir’s spit. A smile reappeared, I was still uncertain whether I can just lie next to him but he asked me if I wanted to join. And I was so sooooo happy. To be able to try and make up for my mistakes.

So it began … I will write more but not reveal everything. Some things need to stay private. I just hope you will learn also from my mistakes and my efforts. I hope you will see how much I respect him and how much I owe him. That is why, before my next update I want to publicly thank him again. Simply for being him and having me. Thank you, Sir.

Be kind and please comment. I will be glad for your feedback.

To be continued…

boy A

[m55uk4younger]

What a journey, boy A.

Yes Getdare readers, he was a nice fuck, despite being tired after a long day, can I cope with a sexy horny 29 Year old submissive boy?

[slaveboy28]

Dear readers,

after a few days I try to remember more, try to relive all those special moments spent with Sir. But everything still seems a bit blurry, it simply was so intense both mentally and physically. Yes, dear readers, it was that good. Sir was so amazing it is almost impossible to describe - my heart races every time I remember, my body aches for his touch - pain or pleasure… I wish I were there, with him but I know it will be months before we can meet again. Months.

Perhaps this is a good thing, it gives me time to learn more… to be able to serve better next time. After all I am back in slave school. My second term started. And it started with a very very special gift yesterday. I was allowed to spunk - two times. I am of course very grateful for this special gift, but what makes it even more special is the fact Sir told me he will spunk also. I love moments of his pleasure more than my own. I love how he rests after an orgasm, I love how his body relaxes, his mind drifts into a different state… Thank you, Sir.

We will cam today… Thank you, Sir.

I try to remember those special moments when I was allowed to lie next to him after sleeping on the floor, waking up next morning in bed next to Sir.
Eating breakfast together - he took control of the kitchen, as he really is a great chef. I tried to help as best as I could, chopping food, making breakfast… baby steps, I know…. He deserves so much more…Always offer more!

I try to remember how we went for a walk together and I think I managed to talk a bit more, to slowly start speaking after I realised how fast the time passes when I am with him. We spent another wonderful day together. We went out for a dinner - ate too much. I should have shared a desert with him, but I wanted to offer him a choice so I ordered another one. I did not want him to have just one, I wanted him to have one just for himself. A mistake perhaps but definitely something I will remember for our next meeting. We were both greedy after being separated for so long - greedy in every possible sense of the word :) But let us keep this just between us. All I will share is - I got four fucks I earned in slave school. Four amazing fucks! No, dear readers, no details :)

Just like I would like to keep between us a big mistake I made. A mistake that brought me to tears - I was shaking and crying for an hour but it was a chance to learn. Like I wrote in my diary it was also an important lesson (another one) how special Sir is. How understanding he can be at moments of great difficulty - he did not leave me - he did not leave me in agony and pain. He cared for me. He talked. He listened. He did not throw me out. He proved again that he is a responsible, caring person. Not just Master. Both actually. It was a good “trust building” exercise if one can use such words.
He was honest - truth hurts sometimes. But he was honest and this is vital for my journey. Thank you, Sir.

I managed to process my pain and relieved of all emotions and feelings that were boiling in me we were able to go out next day, spend it together at a local festival where he saw me wearing my collar more openly. It was not intentional but at the same time I did not want to hide it too much. I know how important and special my brown leather collar is. And he noticed, just like he heard me say the words of lust and gratitude. There in the open, among people - discreetly of course but it was another step for me. I became a bit braver when we went to the cinema again - sharing a sofa this time, discretely touching. I was hard again. All the time. I was so excited, I was so happy. I was in heaven. Thank you, Sir. For all the touches, for all your gifts, your lessons, your time.

We spent another night together… another morning together … and a very very special last night. Sir was a tiger. Sir climaxed.

We tried so many different things - I was spanked, I experienced a bit of wax play, I was given a swirly, I was led by “it”, my useless little genitals were tortured .. but all this .. all this will stay between us. Just like I am the only one still admiring marks on my body - they are healing, slowly disappearing just as the separation pain is. But they are a great reminder of a divine meeting we had.

What a journey, dear readers. What a rollercoaster.

I woke up alone on the day of my departure - Sir left before me. He only left a note. A note I keep safely stored. He did not leave me - he simply did what only an experienced Master can do. Prepared me for a huge downer we are both having after a real meeting. Kept me safe from a painful goodbye. We both would have been devastated if we counted minutes before saying goodbye. We parted sane, full of emotions, full of new experience and joy. We parted in a way that allows us to focus already on our next meeting, but first on returning to online only.

And we will make it. We will manage. We will get to our next meeting.

Just like moments of pleasure, moments of pain are also part of my journey. This time it is pain for both of us. But after a few days this pain is slowly subsiding, we are talking again on Skype, discussing, remembering, evaluating. I am grateful for Sir’s extended aftercare which is helping me cope. And I know it is also aftercare for him - so he knows I am still as dedicated to serving him as I were before the meeting. No, dear readers, I am even more dedicated. And I will continue to blog, write my private diary, keep the routine, work out, do tasks, be his boy. I need this - bringing pleasure to Sir even when he is miles away.

I miss him.

And this perhaps best concludes today’s update. It probably also tells the most of how I feel and how important Sir is in my life. So, dear readers, dear submissive go on a journey. Dare. And perhaps you will also be able to write the things I keep writing after our meetings: What a journey… what a Sir… what wonderful days. Serving him, his needs and demands, his beautiful body. Thank you Sir for taking me, for giving me this opportunity. I desperately hope you will continue to train and mold me, now you know me a tad more. To become not just a better slave who’s only job is to pleasure his Master but also to become a stronger, more educated person in the world of kinks.

Thank you for reading and please do leave comments. Feedback is very important and I will also be glad to answer your questions.

boy A

[m55uk4younger]

Has the boy served me long enough, is it time he moved on and I took on another newbie virgin boy and set him on his journey, on his road of discovery?

I think that would be so devestating to boy A.

comments please.

Thank you, Sir.

[m55uk4younger]

.
No more blog updates?
.
Getting bored with me boy?
.

Sir.

[slaveboy28]

Dear readers,

another long break between updates but somehow I do not feel guilty, because in my heart I know, I focused on what matters most. Serving and pleasing Sir. I tried to be a good boy and use every moment of my free time to do amends for my stupid mistakes during our last meeting. Mistakes need to be corrected and paid for and 250 hand written lines (alternating between my non-dominant, “submissive” and “dominant” hand - less submissive perhaps would be a better term) reminded me of that. I learned and I will not repeat the same mistakes again. “I am sorry Sir for using furniture without permission, disregarding your wishes and acting like disrespectful little shit in London. It will not happen again, Sir.” (Oh, dear readers, you can not imagine what a test of will this was for me. For days coming home after work, getting naked, putting on my collar, varnishing my nails and start writing - painful lines, full of remorse. Every single one was felt in my mind and in my body. It started well but then they got more and more difficult to write. I was feeling like a baby again, like a young child who misbehaved. Writing with my left hand, worrying not to make a mistake… Lines shouting at me: Stupid boy, stupid boy! Boy, just a boy! Slave! Slave! You can not even write properly. Haha, hand hurting already … They made me so humble, so … so inferior to Sir. But I fought, fought hard to finish them, make them as nice as possible, feeling good every single one is dedicated to Sir. It was time spent for him, to apologise properly, to make amends, to learn. What a punishment… Next time it will be 500… there must not be a next time!).

I also tried to simply return to “reality”, waking up lonely but rock hard and ready for my morning edging, craving Sir and his touches. We will meet again - this will be our third meeting, wow - and we have already started planning. It will not be just yet but we will get there. And I will hopefully be allowed again to worship his smelly feet (please Sir, do not shower for your boy. He will clean you with his tongue), nipples, ass, suck his dick and, yes, dear readers get fucked by him. Long and hard. Balls deep. His cock teasing my prostate, his big hairy balls hitting my smooth thighs - shaved yesterday just for Sir. Shaved for the first time, sweating and shivering in a mixture of fear, humiliation and hidden pleasure just like when I first got rid of my chest hair. But now I lost even more of my body hair, becoming in a way even more submissive, his smooth slave boy. A slut for his body. A whore for his control.

Smooth and once again reminded of my role as his slave, living by his rules, obeying his orders, waking up every day, thinking just what a lucky boy I am. Lucky to have Sir and happy to have given up control of my useless little genitals. Those small little “balls” of which I have written in a report to Sir (you are welcome to read it in his “blog” and send your comments and thoughts) which were given an intense morning treatment lately - 10 hard swats with a hair brush - and an always hard “it” - denied of final pleasure, which is reserved only for real Men, not shaved, smooth boys with varnished nails. (Oh, I was so excited to put on my new nail varnish - purply pink. Girly. Sir’s naughty girl mmm).
31 days since I have last spunked but instead of begging for a release my mind keeps retuning to chastity cages - perhaps making that vicious step which would deny “it” even of its night and morning erections, confine it to a small plastic cage, locked for whatever time Sir chooses. Locked, stored away, put in a cage without a chance of even a dribble, I am sometimes allowed now - Thank you, Sir. Why is it that I want this so much? Why did I start receiving much more pleasure from being fucked by Sir’s cock or used as his boy (spanked, pissed on, spit on, tortured or pleasured) than from playing with “it”? “It” is just a tool in Sir’s hands, something to lead my by to the kitchen before testing the newly found wooden spoon to spank my boy ass. One Sir, thank you, Sir …. Two Sir, thank you, Sir …

I try to answer all those questions myself during my corner time, writing a daily diary but now also with some help from a fellow submissive boy. Yes, dear readers, Sir allowed me to explore more in my second term of slave school. He allowed me to contact one of the getDare users, who will remain anonymous for now, and ask him more about his experience with cages and serving. I am so grateful for this chance and I will try to make the best out of it although I must admit our first conversation, monitored and observed by Sir, did not go without difficulties for me. I got a bit emotional, insecure and tiny bit jealous that this more experienced, better looking and very nice and well behaved boy may take my place at Sir’s feet. A stupid, beginners reaction, I know, but it was a first time for me talking to a fellow boy with similar interests and it was only after a long conversation with Sir I managed to get over it. I know I can trust Sir and know I am the one licking his feet, worshipping his body, sucking his cock and getting fucked by him. He is the one I have given my ass too and I want to remain his boy as long as possible. Becoming even more submissive for him even if this means he also wants to have some pleasure talking online to other kinky naughty boys.

Jealousy is not something I have experienced before and it surprised me as well but (and maybe this is a lame excuse) it once again helped me understand how much I care for Sir, how much I want to behave and how much I crave his attention. I just want to be his pup. And I promise to work on this but also overcome the feelings of insecurity and jealousy. As a boy I should not have such feelings, I think. I need to accept my role and also not doubt Sir. Even though I was polite and behaved well (slave is not a free man and will therefore treat all free adults (both male and female), aged 18 or over, with respect at all times. This includes, Master's friends and any individuals slave may interact with such as shop assistants, bar staff, other drivers, pedestrians, people at work, people in the street or in any bar, club or other venue.) I will apologise to my fellow boy, explain him my feelings so we will be able to have an open dialogue, and I really hope we will be able to talk more and explore. Maybe even make Sir happy (and horny, lol) together, fighting for his attention. I know he would love to see us 69 :)

Rereading all this, checking for potential mistakes, I noticed even my blogs have changed after our second meeting and after months being trained by Sir. They have become perhaps a little less “emotional” or written in panic. This may be “interpreted” as more boring to you dear readers - I know you like juicy details, but I find it more as a sign how good my journey is. From several different perspectives, not just from a perspective of a constantly horny boy, just waiting for Sir’s next words (and yes, I am in many ways still that boy. Hell, his every word still makes me all wet and excited). I am also learning as a consenting adult travelling deeper into the world of submission. Exploring, learning, facing and overcoming difficulties and challenges which seemed a complete limit just months ago. To be a better boy, a better submissive and not just a horny wanker. I wish you also met a Dominant able to show you things far beyond an orgasm. Beyond your own pleasure. As there is so much more happiness in knowing you are pleasing someone else. Bringing him as much joy, happiness, smiles and tight horny boy-pussy as possible :)

For all this I would like to publicly thank Sir again. Thank you Sir for being my Captain, for being a Master I not only wished for but “needed” as you put it in our first conversation months ago. Thank you for accepting me as your slave and thank you for letting me meet you again Sir.

Thank you for reading and please do leave comments and let me know if you would like this blog to continue.

boy A

[m55uk4younger]

Jealousy is such a useless destructive emotion.

Sir.

[Shiro_Kami]

Ohh this is so cool,exciting and awesome, making me so jealous of not having a Master close to me. But please! i want it to continue! It's so good and so amazing!

[m55uk4younger]

Ohh this is so cool,exciting and awesome, making me so jealous of not having a Master close to me. But please! i want it to continue! It's so good and so amazing!

Thank you for your kind words. Feel free to contact me by PM if this blog excites you sexually but scares you too.

Sir.

[m55uk4younger]

Slaveboy28, boy A has now served his time, learned a lot and by mutual consent has been granted his freedom to continue his journey of self exploration.

I am now looking for another who is worthy of my time and knowledge, if you think it may be you, feel free to PM me.

m55

[need_to_plead]

What a journey. Enjoyed reading about it a lot. Thank you both.

[m55uk4younger]

What a journey. Enjoyed reading about it a lot. Thank you both.

Thank you for your kind words and for reading the blog.

m55.

[m55uk4younger]

Looking but not finding a replacement for Slaveboy28.

Serious commited slaveboys are hard to find!

PM me if you are serious but please do not waste my time.

[m55uk4younger]

Well, Slaveboy28 left a massive hole in my life.
I am still looking, searching for his replacement.
If you think you have what it takes (it will not be easy!) and "need" this in your life then please PM me to talk more.
Communication is the key, without that you have nothing.
Maybe you masturbate too much and put up with poor quality orgasms.
I does not have to be that way!

m55.

[m55uk4younger]

Still looking, could you be the one?

[m55uk4younger]

2021 now and Sadly Slaveboy28 is no longer writing on this blog.
I still have contact by mobile text, he is ok and stressed over Covid like most of us.
Slaveboy28 has put "A" back into his box, I hope he will let "A" out again.

I would like to thank Slaveboy28 for all the time he spent serving me and the times we met in real life, I hoped there would be more but sadly it had to come to an end sometime.

Searching that internet haystack for another needle is proving so hard and maybe I will never find another, who knows?

So all those online, in online "relationships", if you get a chance to go into real life take it, grab it with both hands, enjoy it!

Finally if you have what it takes to satisfy your needs and the courage to make that first step, take it, chances do no come very often.

[m55uk4younger]

Alas slaveboy28 no longer writes on his blog, here.

I so miss him and his interaction, his blogs and of course the close physical and mental relationship that we had. Replacing him is proving very hard and I will never forget, "Looking for somebody", and his reply "Sir", the first words spoken when we met in real life.

I have so much to give and I am a firm but fair teacher, I just need a dedicated student with the "balls" to reach out and grab what they need and desire with both hands. Submission is not easy, not for the weak but the rewards can be massive.

I do hope some readers are inspired by slaveboy28's blog to make that jump, grab the chance with both hands while you can. One thing Covid19 has taught the world is that life is for living because you do not know what tomorrow holds.

[m55uk4younger]

slaveboy28 no longer writes on his blog, here.

I have lost contact with him during this Covid crisis, no emails or mobile texts received from him for a long while.

Has he become a victim of Covid? I hope not.

I re read his blog, how he grew and "flowered" like a well looked after plant.

I never ever expected him to get on a plane and visit me, but he did, the rest is history.

So if your relationship is online, it may move into real life, who knows.

m55.

[m55uk4younger]

Wow, five years on, so much has happened.
Re read "A"'s blog, what a blog, what a story and journey.
Love to contact him again if he is still around on the internet.

Does anybody know if he is still around, alive and well?


m55.

[m55uk4younger]

Sadly it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

So damn true!

m55.

[m55uk4younger]

Damn Covid and loosing contact with those special people in your life!

[m55uk4younger]

What a fantastic buzz the whole relationship was, you left a massive gap in my life slaveboy28!