I am a dictator and my law is ....

[Jaro]

Okay it goes like this. The first person makes up a weird/embarrassing/daring law that he/she sets for all his subjects to obey at all times. You can be creative and think of any law, regardless on whether it is practical or can be really enforced.

The next person answers whether he/she would be happy to follow the new law, reluctant to but will do so anyway, or be disobedient and ignore the law altogether.

Next person than passes a new law for the next, and so on.

I will start: "I am a dictator and everybody should be barefoot at all times, no shoes and socks allowed. Only below freezing and with snow, shoes are allowed but only when outside."

[Runesmith]

As the Grand Vizier, I defy your order and will wear shoes at my discretion.

In honor of The Pantyless Goddess I declare Wednesdays no underwear days. All citizens shall not wear any underwear of any kind. In order to enforce this law, any citizen is allowed at any time to demand any other citizen to demonstrate to them that they are not wearing underwear.

[Chappers]

No underwear Wednesday???? No chance, I'll just wear all the underwear I own, clean and dirty, male and female...and at least something stolen.

If I was dictator and my law is that everyone for the 30 minutes of the start of the working day (or school) MUST dance to Taylor Swift's Shake it Off, then to Bee Gees' Staying Alive, followed by Britney Spears' Baby, One More Time.

[sexualfeelings]

No chance of me doing that.
As your supreme ruler I decree that all sexual acts will be conducted only in government specified rooms. Each sexual act will be witnessed by no less than 20 different advisers. A recording of each act will be sent to everyone you know. If caught in a sexual act outside one of there areas, you will have a device permanently installed that prevent you from ever orgasming/cumming again, the device has a side effect of keeping people horny at all times.

[Sexkittin]

Yeah, no way am I following that.
As your new king I say that pants will never be worn again. Only shorts,skirts, skorts ,and dressed allowed on any gender. You also have the option of going bottomless.

[Sindrato]

Sorry, but no. Shorts are so... plebeian. Not fit for a king.

And since that's what I, apparently, am, my new rule is that people must, at all times, wear a meter on their clothes that displays to the world how aroused they are.

[Wolf007]

Ridiculous! Those meters can't be thrusted, chances are too high for unsuspecting people to get humped.


As your brand new intergalactic overlord, i declare that all human beings...especially women...from this moment forth will show they're private bodyparts at request of...the brand new intergalactic overlord. (witch is me obviously)

[iSpuds]

The only private part I'll ever expose on-demand is my ass so you can kiss it. :p

As sexy dominatrix and supreme universal ruler, I declare October 15th to be a universal holiday celebrating all things cute, pretty, and feminine. Petting zoos and frilly clothing shops will be available at all the local parks and absence from school and work are permitted, provided this time is spent petting a fluffy animal or playing with stuffies. It's suggested that all shops decorate their windows with pastel colors, flowers, and pearls.

[LitDarkness]

I refuse. That rule is just evil.

As your dictator I declare that everyone must get permission from me to have any sexual pleasure and must be naked 24/7.

[iSpuds]

Nope, too cold. :eek:

As Grand Imperial Poo-Bah of all things grand and imperial, I hereby decree that tummies are to be rubbed either by the owner of said tummy or by the nearest available able-bodied person (i.e. the "rub giver") after every meal and during every upset tummy.

[Sindrato]

Really? Tummy rubs? I mean, I guess it could have been worse... though I believe I'd prefer the fires of hell.

Well, anyway, since I'm assuming the royal phallic shaped specter, I hereby decree the construction of an orgy facility in every city where every adult person has to spend at least three hours a week.

[iSpuds]

I'll abide, provided I'm not required to engage in any orgy activities. I'm in a monogamous relationship, thank u. :cool:

As new and rightful owner of the royal dildo, I hereby decree that creationism be reduced to a footnote of scientifically unfounded superstition in all science classrooms.

[Jaro]

Creationism is not a science so I do agree with this rule!

As your supreme ruler I hereby demand that the practice of pubic hair shaving needs to stop at once. You may trim but you are no longer allowed to shave down there. You will all be subject to a non-voluntary monthly inspection and the punishment for being shaved will be harsh.

[Runesmith]

As the Supreme Arbitrator of All Things Sexual, I overrule that nonsensical order, and allow anyone with fake blonde hair to shave their pubes. Trust me, that will help avoid a lot of curtain/carpet comments from morons.

I decree that all females reaching age 18 must lose their virginity within 6 months of their birthday (if they haven't done so already), preferably with the Supreme Arbitrator of All Things Sexual. PM for appointments. First come, first cum basis.

[iSpuds]

As Grand Executive Intergalactic Judge and Jury, I repeal that law. The concept of virginity is dumb!

I also decree that all public parks larger than 100 acres shall section off no less than 10 acres for nudists and outdoorsy BDSM players to enjoy. Each sectioned area must contain benches, tables, at least one gazebo, and a tree.

[Jaro]

I like that idea. I'll happily endorse it.

As your supreme ruler I hereby declare that you shall only be allowed to have your belly button cleaned by a professional belly button cleaner. And this belly button cleaner should be certified and be able to prove he or she has earned his degree at the National Belly Button Cleaners academy. You are never ever allowed to clean your own belly button yourself.

[iSpuds]

I'll endorse this. I rarely ever clean my belly button on purpose. :rolleyes:

As High Imperial Overseer of All Things to be Seen Over, I decree that each yard larger than 50x55 feet must contain exactly three alpacas. At no point in time shall such a yard contain one or two alpacas, unless preceding an intended third. Four alpacas is one too many; five is right out.

[Runesmith]

As the Grand Imperial Visage of Darkness and Light, We strike down your ruling as being cruel to Alpacas - all sentient beings have a right to a foursome should they feel like it.

We hereby decree that leaving your pubic hair on the seat of a public toilet is punishable by a public pubic shaving carried out by a blind person afflicted with Parkinson's disease.

[iSpuds]

As Big Cheese of the Universal Fondue Party, I rescind that rule because...well...I don't shave and I can't say with 100% certainty that I've never done that...

And we of the Universal Fondue Party hereby decree that laxatives be tax-free. That's it. We're kinda...backed up over here.

[Runesmith]

As the All Powerful Multiplicator of the Divisive Hordes, I veto your proposal. The Universal Tax on Laxatives (commonly called "Lax Tax"), established after the bloody and brutal suppression of the heretic Universal Movement Movement, has been the prime mover of the stagnant universal commerce. I hereby appoint Sir Stefan of the Nether Lands to collect the said tax.

On a side note, I hereby prohibit the eating of ripe cheeses on Friday evenings. Limburger addicts may sniff an old sock while feasting on young Gouda.