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View Full Version : X-Rated: South Africa


Powerstrip
06-10-2009, 11:41 AM
WARNING! This story is definitely 18+ and very dark. If you are easily offended or don't like reading about bad stuff stay out. Otherwise enjoy the story. You have been warned!
This story is completed. There are no extra parts to be added.

As if it had come to this....She looked down at the open box and the contents inside. Why does this country have such a crap police force? Why are we over-run with crime? When is someone going to change all this?

South Africa was a country full of crime. Gangs of thieves, robbers, rapists, murders, the list goes on ruled the night. The police did what they could, but they had no intentions of dieing and when night fell the country simply became unruly. Investigating a crime hours later would draw few clues and the chance of a conviction was slim and even then it would only be due to circumstantial evidence and that would only draw a short sentence in prison.

She picked up the device that she was going to use to protect herself. It was a shameful thing to have to wear, but she had no choice. She had tried other methods, but it wasn't the safest of methods. She had a can of pepper-spray always with her in her bag, but she knew that wouldn't stop a gang of people, only enrage them further. She knew her friend, Samora, had done the same and it hadn't kept her safe.

The friend had been raped recently. The poor girl had been followed home one evening from her job. She'd got home but before she could close the door and bolt it closed, one man had got a foot in the door and then the rest of his gang overpowered her. She was passed around them all like a playdoll and was unable to defend herself against them in her own home. By the time they had finished with her, she was in a horrendous state. Even if she'd been able to phone the police, they wouldn't have come out till the sun was up. They were just as scared of what lurked in the dark.

She looked at the object all around. Carefully examining the little teeth and the long shaft that housed them. she wished she could leave the country. Go somewhere safe and forget all of this, but she knew she had no way out.

The phone rang. Kathleen put down the device and answered it.

Kathleen was a 23-year old Student living in Cape Town. She was a pretty negress. Tall, attractive and quite bright. At her University she worked hard to be the best because she knew that was the only way she was going to get anywhere. Living alone in the world she knew she had to make everything for herself. She was an only child. Her parents had died a couple of years ago in an attack by a group of criminals trying to mug her mother, even though their was not much to lose in her bag, her father had defended her as best as could be, but then the guns came out. That had shaken her deeply.

Her mother and father were good people. They worked hard in their jobs, never made a fuss and were happy with the little they had. To have such good people attacked in a horrible way was something she never thought would happen. Every time she thought of them, she cried. She was alone in the world and knew she had to get out. Every day she saw more and more reason of this. Her friends rape had brought into sharp contrast just how fearful it was to live in this place. Where you weren't safe in your own home!

This device was the next step.

She came off the phone in tears. The phone conversation had been from Tutu, saying that Samora had run away leaving a message of deep shame and embarrasment. In a way it was good. At least she hadn't tried to kill herself, but to think she felt alienated by everyone because of this unfair attack was wrong. She hoped that Samora would be O.K., but she knew there was no chance of finding her again. ID was easy to have altered and she could make a new name and new life elsewhere in the country, or maybe even smuggle herself out!

That night she cried herself to sleep thinking of all the wrong in the country, of all the sadness in her life and of the future where she was able to leave or maybe even stay and improve the country.

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The next morning she awoke and showered preparing herself for a full day of lectures. She looked carefully at the device and decided she didn't need to use it today. It looked highly uncomfortable and she would want to wear it as little as possible. Her lectures finished at 5pm, which would give her a full hour to get home before dark settled in. She was safe during the day.

Off she went on the 20 minute walk to University to study Chemistry. It was a very difficult subject and she hoped with a good degree behind her she'd be able to get a good job and move somewhere safe. That day she worked hard carefully taking notes and understanding as much as she could with the help of the professor. During lunch she talked with her few friends. They all expressed sadness in Samora leaving and how they hoped they'd see her again. As they often did they chatted of the countries problems, as so many did. Of course no matter what ideas would come about, little would change the country.

After the day had finished, Kathleen began her walk home her eyes careful not to make eye contact with as few people as possible, not to draw attention to herself. The dusk was setting in and she didn't want to give anyone a reason to notice her, even in a good way. Once home she bolted all the doors shut and settled into her quiet nights of studying and any reading she'd been given. After a few hours she finished most of the work and made herself a small dinner. As she ate she looked out the window trying to notice any figures suspiciously moving about. She watched a man walking quickly on his way, obviously fearing for the gangs, but he seemed safe enough she thought as know one seemed to follow him.

It was a sad state of affairs when her evening entertainment was to watch out the window for criminals and attacks. It's all she had though. She'd read all her books multiple times, no TV and the radio she was worried of being heard by a gang. That's how in fear people lived these days. Better to not be seen or heard at all at night.

The following morning she looked at the device for a long time. She knew she had to wear it today as later tonight she'd be working. It was a necessary. While all the money and assets her parents had left was a good start to her university fees and expenses it wasn't enough. So 3 times a week she worked as a waitress. It wasn't a classy job or a well paid job, but it was a job that brought money and occasionally the tips were big.

She followed the directions carefully and gently putting the device on. It was uncomfortable. It was horrible to wear and quite disgusting, but it had to be done.

The device was a rapex device. It was an anti-rape device that would lodge teeth into the male member when he tried to insert himself into her. They required hospital removal and when a hospital removed one, they also handed the lad to the police. She didn't want to hurt these people, but they wanted to hurt her so she had to take proper defense.

She went off to University and worked hard, but at each possible occasion she tried to go to the toilet and ease the discomfort. The manual had said that it would take time to get used to it, but she detested it so immensly. After a hard day working at university she made her way to the restaurant. It was a top class establishment. The equivalent of the Ritz in London. She changed into her waitress uniform in the toilets and decided to take out the device. She wasn't going to get attacked at work but on her way home. She took it out and felt much better, although slightly strange with a hole where it used to be. That feeling would pass she'd read.

She got to work. Seating the customers, taking orders bringing food and generally bending over backwards for them. She liked to think about her clients, what they're really like under there outer shell. They were predominantly white. The apartheid had made sure that blacks were lower down in the scale of things. Even though apartheid had been over for 15 years now, the whites were still on top. Not that she complained. They paid her a good salary at these "all white" restaurant and tips were usually good if she worked hard to make sure they were pleased with their meals and extras.

After her shift she had made a nice little tip for helping the customers as much as she could. "These whites always tip well." Kathleen thought to herself "They're flush with money and think nothing of it, yes this money is a big boost for me!"

She carefully hid it away in her locker. She was scared to take it out in the dark in case she was mugged. She changed out of her uniform hanging it all up neatly so that she didn't need to wash it often. She then took her device (carefully hidden so no co-workers would see) to the toilet and put it in. Again the uncomfort, but the necessicity always reminded her of why she had to.

Once she was ready, she said goodbye to her colleagues and went home. She was careful on her trips home. She took a longer route home, keeping to the areas of the road that was lit with streetlights as much as she could. It would take her 15 minutes longer, but could keep her safe. She was careful to walk quickly, but not run and make no fuss to anyone that got in her way, drunks spilling out of bars, big men that offered to hire her for the evening and hobos that lined some of the streets.

Never looking behind her, but always careful to listen to anyone following her, seeing shadows out of the corner of her eye that might mean someone following her.

Towards the end of her journey was the most worrying part. It was towards the outskirts of town and so not as well kept as the center. Lights were fewer and further between. On the plus side it was quieter and footsteps could be heard easier. She never let her guard down once and always had her hand deep in her bag ready to pull the pepperspray out on anyone. She only relaxed her grip on that can as she started up the stairs of her house when her hand moved to her keys to let her in as fast as possible.

Only when she had locked and bolted the doors did she relax herself completly. She was safe for another night. Even so, she went and checked all the doors and windows to check they were bolted closed. She made herself a drink and began to pour some bath water. She sat by the side of the bath waiting for the bath to fill and calmed herself down by first taking out the device and preparing herself for her bath. She had a nice long soak to let calm her after a long day at work and after drying off slipped into bed for sleep. Only 6 hours before she had to be up for uni.

The following day she again had to don the device. Tonight was party night. She didn't feel in the mood for it, what with Samora being attacked and leaving and the measures she was now having to take, but she'd been repeatedly told to let her hair down, have a bit of fun and she'd feel better. So she was going to go.

However, as she felt safe during the day she was going to carry it in her bag and wear it when she needed to. She had a good day at lectures, answering a number of the lecturers questions having done the homework. She was even able to upstage the swat, Brandon Chumba at one point when he miscalculated an Mr. That had gotten her few woops as everyone wanted to get one over him. No-one really liked him, though at least no one was openly hating him.

After her full day of lectures she quickly changed in the toilets into her dress. It wasn't too flashy, but it was pretty and she liked wearing it and of course the dreaded device. She went down to the club and met up with a few people she knew. The night was the chemistry clubs way of making sure everyone had a bit of fun. It wasn't anything amazing, a few drinks, but it let people chat outside the classroom and have a bit of fun together.

She ordered herself an orange juice and chatted a little to people and moving round making sure she got a chance to chat to everyone. Next year she hoped to be president of the Chemistry Club and making sure that everyone knew who she was would make it easier to campaign as if to be a friend to people and when it came to voting.

As she'd finished a conversation with Dan Spencer she was looking round for someone to talk to when up came Brandon who opened with:
"I'll have to reinstate myself ahead of you then" which to her seemed a bit confrontational, but she carefully talked him round to friendlier terms. Maybe he just phrased it wrong?

Brandon wasn't your typical weedy swat. Sure he was brainy, but he had quite a decent build. You wouldn't call him well built, but he was strong enough. They found a couple of seats and chatted away about the only thing commmon to them, Chemistry. The more they talked though Brandon tried to find more common ground as he could, suggesting other activities he enjoyed. Kathleen was flattered, realising that he must find her attractive and maybe trying to seduce her a little. Flattered, but not interested unfortuneately for him, though she played a long as he offered to buy her a drink. Maybe she could get a few more out of him too, even safety walking home.

He brought her over her orange juice and they both sat back, talking of books they'd read and commenting about the night. After a few more drinks together she felt a happy glow inside her that she couldn't understand. Was she ill? Was she having a really good night? Was she perhaps in love? She wasn't sure, but a number of things Brandon suggested seemed OK. They danced a little together, though tonight wasn't her dancing night, stumbling quite a few times. She put that down to the fact she had two left feet. "Always have done" she commented after her 5th tumble.

As the night drew to a close the crowd began to thin and she said that she almost go home and rest. Tomorrow was Saturday, but she was doing a full days work at the restaurant, plenty of chances for really good tips. Brandon offered to walk her home.
"I know it's dangerous out there for a lonely girl" he said
"It's OK. You don't have to, I can protect myself. I have my ways" she winked.
"No, I insist my lady" He said, baring his arm out for hers. She took it gratefully. She was feeling a little groggy and knew with him beside her, she'd be safer than she'd ever be no matter what protection she had.

They walked along at a slow pace, the cool air pure bliss after the smoky interior of the club. They chatted casually of small talk. She wasn't really listening, she was just craving her bed. Eventually they got back to her house and let them both in. She offered him a glass of water, which he accepted. She was worried he wanted to take their friendship further, but she wasn't interested. She pointed him in the direction of the kitchen,
"In there. I'll be with you in a moment" She said, going into her bedroom to dump her bag and cardigan. She sat down on the bed and took off her shoes, not the most comfortable pair ever, but it did the job for the few nights a year she used them. She flopped down on the bed.

"Just a minutes rest" she thought to herself....

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She awoke with the buzzing of her alarm clock proudly displaying the time that indicated she should have been up half an hour ago!

She jumped up and realised she must have fallen asleep. She couldn't remember what had happened last night? Had she let Brandon out? Had he done anything to her unconcious body? She looked at herself to see she was still wearing her dress, quite crumpled and had ridden up a little, but she didn't feel like anything had happened. It didn't matter for now, she was much too late.

She rushed round the house getting ready, packing her bag and cleaning herself up. As she was changing her underwear she noticed a speck of blood on them.
"Crap, why am I so early?" SHe thought to herself. She wasn't due for another week! She quickly sorted out a tampon and carried on changed and getting ready.

A strong headache, but other than that she was clean and ready for the day.
"These smoky clubs, I wish the smoke didn't spread round so thckly, or they'd aired the room a bit!"

She made it just in time, though she still had to change to be ready for work. Her boss made a quick remark about being late, but he didn't mind too much. There wasn't any customers yet and this was a one-off she assured him. It was true, she was very rarely late and always with good reason (and had usually given advance notice of any lateness).

In the changing rooms, she carefully changed into her work clothes and checked herself in the mirror to see that she was smart and presentable. She checked that the money she had saved in there was still safe, then thought to put it in her bag. She would take it home after her shift. It would be safe then. Locking her locker she went out to face a new day at work.

The day was long and customers kept asking for things and complaining. She knew better to argue with them. Make a customer feel unwelcome and they won't tip aswell. And if you can, slide something a little extra if you can and it'll help. She ended the day with a few nice tips. Nothing amazing, but it's always nice to have her self a little extra. At the end of her shift she again changed and hung her uniform neatly. She chatted with a few of her colleagues casually, letting herself be distracted during her changing. Being careful to be a little slow so that she could get privacy. When the room was empty, she carefully found all her money and slipped it into the safest place a girl has, close to her bosom. She could feel it's presence and wouldn't drop it and off she went on her way home.

At home she carefully bolted the door, thinking whether or not she'd done it after Brandon had left, but no harm done either way now. She took her salary and tip money out of her bra and counted it all out to check it was all there and once satisfied went to fetch the box that she kept all her money in safely under her bed. She was surprised to instead find the device. She thought to herself she must have dropped it last night and put it on her bedside table without a moments thought.

She put the money in and noted down how much was going in. when she'd decided to go to university, she carefully budgeted it all out and so had a target to work at. She was well in her way to fully financing her time there and have a small amount to do what she wanted with her life.

She sat down and let her imagination run wild in a good book with a little music on in the background. As the sun crept closer to the horizon and began hiding behind, the music became quieter untill she once again went into quiet mode so as to hide from the fear of gangs. Sunday she spend doing her homework, reading up on the next subject preparing heself for a long week of difficult lectures.

That night as she was tucking herself into bed, she heard noises outside. Sounded like a large group of guys. She lay still as quiet as she could. Breathing softly trying to listen for what they might be doing. She daren't move in case she attracted any attention to herself. They grew louder untill they were right outside the house. She would wait till she couldn't hear them anymore before even daring to move.

Suddenly, there was a loud banging which came from her door.
"Oh God!" She thought to herself. She was scared stiff. "What do they want? Why won't they leave me alone?"
Voices shouted as the banging continued on the front door and the shutters "Come on out you bitch!" "We've got a present for you!" "You don't deserve to be like you are!"

The banging continued for a solid hour, during which she heard successions of kicks, punches on her doors and bottles and rocks being thrown at her house. During that time she had been able to creep round the house carefully checking everywhere was fully secured. The gang had gone around to check for back entrances and tried anyway of getting in.

Once she'd been sure the house was secure, she hid herself in the wardrobe just in case they were able to break in. After that long hour of fear that she found herself in the banging and voices faded but she daren't move in case they were playing quiet or waiting for her to make a move.

Powerstrip
06-10-2009, 11:42 AM
She woke up in the morning quite uncomfortable and with some back ache, but she was alive, she was safe. She went and looked outside through the shutters and could see lots of beer bottles scattered round. She unbolted her door and had a look round. She could see where the door had a had a good thrashing and plenty of bits of glass all round the place. She daren't step out with all the glass round.

She went back inside and changed into some dirty clothes and tried cleaning up as much of the mess she could in the time she had. She was able to sweep up most of the glass, but there was still a lot of rubbish that the gang had left. She briefly spoke with her next door neighbours who said they had heard the comotion, but no one tried to gain entry to their home, it was all targetted at her house.

With that not helping her mind she hurried on her way to university. She was tired after last nights uncomfortable fearing sleep and struggled to concentrate all day. Fortuneately it was just a half day and she was able to return home and finish tidying up her house and inspecting any damage. She was lucky, but it didn't seem to have done too much damage, more aesthetics more than anything.

She took an early night and caught up on her sleep.

BANG! She awoke with a fright. What had that been? She listened and again heard the voices and shouts of last night. It was 2.30am. What did they want with her?

She again crept round the house checking the locks and bolts as quietly as possible. This time she peeked out of the gaps in the shutters looking out at the people. She couldn't see much, but she couldn't see anyone she recognised. They'd already made a mess of the tiny area outside the house. She could see lots of cans and bottles lieing around. She tried different shutters trying to see who the ring leader might be but struggled to see much, so once again stashed herself in the wardrobe hoping they'd go away soon.

She emerged from the wardrobe at 1pm. She'd fallen asleep and obviously had overslept due to her already tired state. She decided not to bother with university and sat home eating breakfast contemplating what had happened. She hadn't annoyed anyone, she hadn't hurt anyone, what did they want? Why were they always banging on her door.

She spent much of the day trying to entertain herself, reading a book, that she'd already read, listening to the radio, but she kept coming back to it. As it got late she decided on making dinner. She pulled a few things out of the fridge for toppings, then went to the cupboard for bread. She pulled a slice out, but saw a very large green area. She checked a few other slices, mouldy aswell. She'd have to go to the shop for more bread as she had nothing else.

She changed into non-descript clothing and again put the device on, wiping away some blood that was on it. Where had that come from? I'm not early, I'd have noticed it. Anyway, better get out to those shops and back in case the gang come back again.

She went down to the local shop. A few streets away, but the trip would only be 30 minutes. On her return she was almost home when she heard a shout behind her. Already in fear of the gangs return she ran all the way home and bolted the door quickly. If they'd seen her, they'd know she was there and would probably try even harder to get in. She stood in her hallway staring at the door expecting the shouts and the bangs on the door. She barely breathed waiting.

She heard the banging on the door. Loud, but softer than those of the previous nights. And then she heard a shout. But it was from a familiar voice, Brandon.
"Kathleen? You in there? Kathleen?"

She jumped toward the door unbolting it and dragged Brandon in, surprising him, and bolting the door back again. Then she grabbed him and hugged him tightly on the verge of tears.
"Hey, what's up with you, what's going on?" He said offering her a hankerchief.
"I'm so sorry, I just. I don't know what's happening, I don't know what to do."
"Calm down, it's OK. I came over because you weren't in class today, and I thought it odd for you. What's happened?"

And so Kathleen told him what had happened, how in fear she'd been. He tried his best to calm her down, soothe her fears telling her that he'd stay to comfort her.
"No, there's nothing you can do. There's too many of them. You should go before they come back"
"I don't think there's any worry there." He replied. Kathleen thought that an odd reply. He wasn't super strong and even with help would struggle to hold them back.
"No! I don't want to have to worry about you aswell"
"O.K., I'll go." He tucked her into bed saying he'd let himself out. She thought it a kind offer, so neglected to tell him she'd have to get up and bolt the door after him. Let him think he did the manly thing, she thought.

She heard the bolts opening and the door being unclicked. She waited for the closing door before she got up to bolt the door behind him. But it didn't come. She waited a full minute and thought it was odd.

Then, her bedroom door opened.

In stepped Brandon with at least 5 other guys.

"What....What are you doing?" She asked, pulling the covers , trying to protect herself a little.
"My dear, it's time that I do what I should have been able to do Friday night!"
"What?!" She was afraid, very afraid. He's eyes were glazed over with pleasure.
"It's time that your pretty little self was shown how to be a woman" He gleefully announced. "I tried on Friday after you'd passed out, your obviously not a heavy drinker. Next time keep off those vodkas. I'm wise to your tricks now though!" And saying this he gesticulated to the other men who immediately came in and exposed her.

They went down either side of her and forced her to release the sheets. Then grabbing her by the arms and legs, stripped her down, ripping the clothes off her. She lay naked on her bed. Tightly held from all angles. No matter how much she fought, twisted, the men simply held her down. She was powerless to any and all of their advances.
"Now let's get that nasty contraption out of the way aswell, shall we?" Brandon said, moving toward her and rolling up his sleeves. He came to the end of the bed and the men dragged her down it untill the brown lips of her vagina was inches away from Brandons fingertips. He carefully put a few fingers in, feeling her twitch when he went in and carefully bringing out the device!

"That's quite a nasty piece of kit isn't it my dear? How would you like to know how it feels? Eye for an eye and all that?" He said, showing her a deep cut in his finger. "Yes, that was your damn device. Thank God i went with my fingers first eh? Wouldn't have wanted anything else damaged" he winked. He brought the device over to her right side and had a henchmen hold a hand out for him.

"No, please, I just wanted to protect myself. I didn't want to hurt anyone", but Brandon carried on regardless, pushing to of her fingers together, then inserting them into the whole of the rapex, where two of the blades sliced into her fingers and embedding itself there. She cried out in pain and received a smart smack across the face for it. She tried her best to silence her scream, but could only manage it down to a loud moan. The fingers bled freely and she could feel the blood running down her arm as her hand was held high to limit the speed of blood loss.

Brandon pulled out of his pockets three long ropes and tightly tied her down to the bed frame. One to hold her arms above her head and the other two tieing her legs to the feet of the bed tightly. Her legs were spread wide, leaving her no dignity and with Brandons intention very clear to her. She wriggled and squirmed her body as hard as she could but there was very little give and she hardly moved at all. All the men stood round their prize of a woman and stared at her full naked body. Letting their eyes wander up and down from her fearful face (which most likely turned them on even more) down her neck, over her full breasts, down her heaving stomach and down to her wide legs where her vagina was raised over the bed frame as if promoted for attention, raised above the rest of her body.

One man sat on the bed and began running a finger from her waist, up her stomach in between her breasts. There he began circling her breasts with one finger, while the other hand grabbed at the nipple of her right breast. Gently squeezing and kneeding it. She looked at this man, begging him to stop, begging to be left alone, but he continued as if there was no one there.


Brandon snapped a finger and immediately all the men left, shutting the door behind them.
"we're finally alone my dear. So then, how do you like it? Slow and comfortable? Hard and fast? Let's see shall we?" With that Brandon stripped off. With one finger he stroked at her clitoris, slowly, as if a curious child with a toy that he wasn't sure about. After she twitched a few times from this, he inserted himself, thrusting himself deep into her and began pounding away, leaning over to clutch at her breasts tightly. As loud as she screamed, she knew no one would come to her rescue.

After 15 minutes straight of him pounding away at her she felt sore, she was deprived of dignity, she was out of energy from all the screaming and crying. She was at an emotional breakdown. He finally finished, spewing his cum inside her and released her breasts from his vice grip that he'd had them in. He came round the side of the bed and her lick his penis clean, forcing it in her mouth.
"Bite down and I swear to god...." He tailed off, leaving her with little option. She had no way of defending herself in her tied up state. He could have done anything to her. She was careful to do it quickly so that the ordeal could be finally over. He would leave soon and leave her to.....what? what would she do now?

Once she finished he stood over her looking down at his prize, slapping her gently, across her stomach, across the breasts on her thighs and vagina. He jumped on the bed straddling her and put his penis between her breasts and thrusted like that for a minute or so. Then sat back just surveying her.

She wasn't sure what he was doing. She couldn't cry anymore. She couldn't scream anymore. She lay in a pathetic mess unable to do anything. And he just watched her. After what must have been 20 minutes of silent staring he knelt down and simply stared straight into her vagina. As if expecting something. He used both hands and spread her lips open, as wide as he could, giving her a pain of stretched skin. After a careful look, he let go and began dressing, using her discarded clothes to wipe away the juices. Once dressed he gave her a final long stare and left.

She lay waiting for him to leave. She daren't do anything till he had gone to try and free herself. When in walked the other five guys, all smiling down at her, and it dawned on her that this night had only just begun. The men talked of things to try on her and the night turned into a succesion of positions that she was forced to talk. They tied a rope round her neck and each time she tried to resist them or offer resistance it was given a good tug, sometimes with a foor on her back, so as to strangle her slightly. She was too weak, too emotionally detached from the whole situation that after this a few times, she simply went along with it. She was used and abused in many different ways and the men simply took turns with her, allowing them to rest in between it, but giving her no such rest.

By the time they had finished with her, 7 men had blown their load inside her and nothing had been left untouched, beaten or penetrated. She was a broken woman and she lay on the floor where they had dumped her lost. She was tired. Both mentally and physically. She had no more energy, she had no more stamina. She had no dignity. Her mind was blank staring into emptiness.

She was discovered three days later, haning naked from her wardrobe. No one ever knew of what happened. The police began investigations on the scene with a number of samples found.

Brandon atteneded the scene to identify the body and claimed to have been in a close relationship with her, however, not in a formal relationship. Soon after his interview, the police investigation ceased. Seemingly, the police had had all their questions answered. And their wallets filled.

With few friends, there was never going to be justice for poor Kathleen and anyone that tried to call for further investigation met a certain gang soon after. Needless to say, South Africa continues against it's fight of the gangs.

molten man
06-13-2009, 07:33 AM
Excellent story!!

Just too good!!

TheHotBoyWonder
06-16-2009, 04:41 AM
Wow powerful stuff nice story

Powerstrip
06-16-2009, 05:21 AM
Thanks :D

I'm thinking up new ideas for stories, though I'm slightly worried they are all pretty dark and 18+. Ah well, glad you guys enjoyed it :)

Officelover
06-16-2009, 01:14 PM
That was really dark and depressing, but up until the part where she killed herself, hot. That makes me feel like a monster, I know. But, hey- that's how you wrote it to be.

Excellent writing, original plot- good job!