Officelover
03-28-2009, 12:53 PM
Due to a recent request, I am posting this as a discussion thread about BDSM. This thread will have background information. Here goes.
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BDSM
Bondage and Dicipline
Dominance and Submission
Sadism and Masochism
BDSM is a lifestyle. It is also called S/M, M/S, or The Lifestyle. On the absolute simplest, most basic and broad level, it is a relationship where one person enjoys being in some position of 'weakness' or 'inferiority' to someone else who enjoyd being in a position of 'power' or 'superiority'.
As implied, that was a totally broad statement. But the BDSM community is wide. There are infinite variations, almost as varied as the terminology of these people themselves.
Some people call those who like to be in the positions of power "tops", "masters/mistresses", "doms" (short for dominants or dominatrixes)- and many other names. Some names for those who enjoy being in postions of weakness are: "bottoms", "slaves", "subs". And then there are those *(like yours truly) who can enjoy both "switches".
Now, you'd think that would be it. You'd think wrong.
With each relationship, it is different; much like the people in the relationship themselves.
Some relationships are as relaxed as this is solely a kink. It is a form of sexual roleplay to them- and they'll have something called a "scene", then the next day things will return to normal. In this they will play on their sadistic and masochistic urges- in most cases these types of BDSM relationships are purely sexual.
Some relationshipsare as 'serious' as you can get. In these '24/7' relationships, the slave has completely given him or herself over to his master. In these, the slave has to take all of his master or mistresses orders without complaint, and is completely devoted.
Regardless of the nature of these relationships there are some unifying things, like the principal of SSC- safe, sane, and consentual. This means that if a master orders a slave to jump off a cliff, walk into work naked, or basically do somethign that the slave really can not bring himself to do, the master has to understand.
This is not to say that if a master orders a slave to do something like strip in front of him, and the slave kinda-sorta doesn't want to do it that they can just stop. It doesn't work that way.
Some people solve this problem with a safeword, or a word/gesture uttered or made when the master has gone too far. The scene automatically stops. And the slave only uses this when one of his limits has been crossed. A limit is something that can truly truly truly not be broken. There are hard limits- something probably will be kept forever- and soft limits- changeable limits, that can be broken eventually, with help from the master.
Another unifying theme is mutual respect. Just like any other relationship, it is not usually built on sex alone. There is usually mutual love, trust, or at least respect. It is generally understood that in the grand scheme of things, the master and the slave are equal, and that this is pretty much a game. Even in 24/7 relationships, it is understood that there is no legal or absolute force binding the slave to the master.
That said, there are ridiculous amounts of differences. A major difference between two types of relationships is some are about the subs pain, humiliaton, degradation, etc... I'll call this "S/M" (Sadism and Masochism). In this type of relationship the slave is enjoying this pain (broad term) and the master enjoys administering this pain.
In another type, this type of pain is simply a punishment by the slave. In this type of relationship, the focus is on the masters happiness. It is far less sexual, and much stronger.
The marriage of these two types is how the master is sadistic- and wants the masochistic slave to be in pain in order for himself to be happy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If anyone wants to comment, criticize, please- feel free!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BDSM
Bondage and Dicipline
Dominance and Submission
Sadism and Masochism
BDSM is a lifestyle. It is also called S/M, M/S, or The Lifestyle. On the absolute simplest, most basic and broad level, it is a relationship where one person enjoys being in some position of 'weakness' or 'inferiority' to someone else who enjoyd being in a position of 'power' or 'superiority'.
As implied, that was a totally broad statement. But the BDSM community is wide. There are infinite variations, almost as varied as the terminology of these people themselves.
Some people call those who like to be in the positions of power "tops", "masters/mistresses", "doms" (short for dominants or dominatrixes)- and many other names. Some names for those who enjoy being in postions of weakness are: "bottoms", "slaves", "subs". And then there are those *(like yours truly) who can enjoy both "switches".
Now, you'd think that would be it. You'd think wrong.
With each relationship, it is different; much like the people in the relationship themselves.
Some relationships are as relaxed as this is solely a kink. It is a form of sexual roleplay to them- and they'll have something called a "scene", then the next day things will return to normal. In this they will play on their sadistic and masochistic urges- in most cases these types of BDSM relationships are purely sexual.
Some relationshipsare as 'serious' as you can get. In these '24/7' relationships, the slave has completely given him or herself over to his master. In these, the slave has to take all of his master or mistresses orders without complaint, and is completely devoted.
Regardless of the nature of these relationships there are some unifying things, like the principal of SSC- safe, sane, and consentual. This means that if a master orders a slave to jump off a cliff, walk into work naked, or basically do somethign that the slave really can not bring himself to do, the master has to understand.
This is not to say that if a master orders a slave to do something like strip in front of him, and the slave kinda-sorta doesn't want to do it that they can just stop. It doesn't work that way.
Some people solve this problem with a safeword, or a word/gesture uttered or made when the master has gone too far. The scene automatically stops. And the slave only uses this when one of his limits has been crossed. A limit is something that can truly truly truly not be broken. There are hard limits- something probably will be kept forever- and soft limits- changeable limits, that can be broken eventually, with help from the master.
Another unifying theme is mutual respect. Just like any other relationship, it is not usually built on sex alone. There is usually mutual love, trust, or at least respect. It is generally understood that in the grand scheme of things, the master and the slave are equal, and that this is pretty much a game. Even in 24/7 relationships, it is understood that there is no legal or absolute force binding the slave to the master.
That said, there are ridiculous amounts of differences. A major difference between two types of relationships is some are about the subs pain, humiliaton, degradation, etc... I'll call this "S/M" (Sadism and Masochism). In this type of relationship the slave is enjoying this pain (broad term) and the master enjoys administering this pain.
In another type, this type of pain is simply a punishment by the slave. In this type of relationship, the focus is on the masters happiness. It is far less sexual, and much stronger.
The marriage of these two types is how the master is sadistic- and wants the masochistic slave to be in pain in order for himself to be happy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If anyone wants to comment, criticize, please- feel free!