My Life. [Fiction.]

[omega]

I don't know if this is any good, but it's basicly the life of 4 teens that like Truth or Dare. I'd like feedback, but if it's not what this froum likes or is for, I'll keep writing, but wont post. It doesn't hurt my feelings if i get bad feedback, so please state you're opinion. Here it is(written from the Tony's POV):

Chapter 1

June 1.

The tinted glass windows that lined the east wall of my room suddenly became see-thru and our automated voice system(AVS) stated that it was time to start our day, as it did every morning. It was a Wednesday. The last day of school. I looked over at my clock; 6:45am. I got up. And walked over to my computers. I had 6 new emails.

I slowly walked to the bathroom, undressed, and climbed in the shower. Our parents are workaholics. They work at this Late-Night show called Studio 60. My mom’s the head writer and a performer. My dad’s the executive producer and creator.

I slowly massaged the cucumber-melon shampoo through my hair. By now my siblings, Kate, April and Jake, would be showering and getting ready for the day ahead.

I loved my life.

[rpUral]

I don't know; Maybe a bit too much background, that could have been introduced in the story line itself? I suppose it has potential, but I think the theme is just spoiled rich kids get naked and play. And the actual story line was much too short, after all that build-up.

As I said, there's potential... But please take it a direction that will surprise and intrigue me.

Typos, in the story itself:

"and climed in the shower." - Missed the b in climbed.

"as where my 3 siblings." - As were my

[coolio5]

interesting start.

seeing as theyre all related, be careful with incest. that might get it moved to the R forum. plus, in my opinion, its pretty gross and creepy.

that being said, ill be curious to see where this goes.

good luck and im looking forward to more

[cheesey923]

we will have to see where this goes keep going

[seth18]

Keep it going! I wanna see what the emails "were", if that's what starts it...lol.

[omega]

School progressed as normal with nothing interesting happening except for when Kate’s skirt “fell down” during gym. It was really fishing wire that she hooked on a doorknob and tied to her skirt. It was one of the dares we assigned her last weekend. She wasn't warning underwear because, well, none of really ever did, except on days with gym(we didn’t have to change today because all the uniforms had already been taken home for the year and the locker rooms were undergoing massive renovations after a pipe burst last week).

Ok, so back when we where like ten, we started this thing called Truth or Dare Weekends. Every Saturday from 9:30am to Sunday at 9:30pm we assign and do dares. Occasionally, we play one week Truth or Dare, where we assign extended time dares. Our parents don’t care and barely know we exist, but we don’t care. We decided along time ago that we where mistakes and that our parents just loved unprotected intercourse, but my mom’s a good person(or at least at that time was) and didn't think abortions where ethical. We live on our own floor of the house, and our parents live on another, and never care about seeing or spending time with us, so we do whatever. Where all atheistic and nothing’s outside our limits.

By now, you may be wondering about my siblings. Kate, my twin-sister is also 14(duh!) and our younger siblings are Jake and April, also twins and both 12, almost 13. We’re all very open and never hide anything.

After school, we went home and took the elevator to our floor, getting off and heading to our rooms to start loving summer.

I walked over to the intercom and dialed *25# and Joe, our personal chef, answered. I ordered dinner. I had no idea what is was going to be, but I never did.



Chapter 2

“Hey Tony! How’s life treating you?” was the first thing that my friend, Cal, said when I picked up my Skype call.[AUTHOR NOTE: Skype did NOT pay me to say this.]
“Uh, good?” I said, wondering who was calling, but then realised who it was: “Oh, my effing God! How the hell have you been?”
“Me? Oh, fine. I’m moving back to West Hollywood.” He said.
“When?” I asked, and then started a trace on his call.
He was calling me from a car, movind east on Sunset Blvd., right through the Sunset Strip. He was back!
Cavlin “Cal” Wilson had been my best friend since Pre-K. In 3rd grade he moved because his father got a Staff writing position on SNL.
“Never Mind, Why are you back?” I asked through my headset.
“Oh, my dad got fired at SNL, and Studio 60 hired him as a Staff Writer!” He stated, with joy
“How about I come over, we can catch-up?” I had a feeling he wanted some Truth or Dare fun, since he was the one who got us into it in the first place, and he had emailed me about how he had some immature friends in New York who didn't do anything fun in Truth or Dare.
“Uh, shure. Wanna do a week-over?” a week over was basicly a sleepover that lasted a week and had absolutely no sleeping.
“When?” He asked, extremely excited.
“Ummm, How about this next week, Monday through Monday?”
“Okay, see you then!”
I clicked the red “End Call” button.
This was going to be great!


More soon. I LOVE FEEDBACK!!! POST FEEDBACK! DO IT! CLICK AND TYPE! NOW! Thanks.

[omega]

Okay, so quick question: would non-sexual acts between siblings be incest, for example: if they where all dared(separately) to drive naked(in the same car) somewhere, with no sexual contact?

[omega]

Foe anybody who is reading, Part 3:


Chapter 3
The first Monday.

My alarm went off at 6:45am, like always, but this time, a custom massage awaited my family: Hello, and good morning. Please climb out of bed and meet Tony in the Board Room. Our floor was 4,700 Square Feet, we had an arcade, 2 guest bedrooms and bathrooms, a Loft, a board room, a pool room(that contained a regular swimming pool and hot tub, and lead out to an full Olympic sized swimming pool on our private pool deck), a study, a full computer suite(in it’s own room) and a sunrise-sunset viewing room.

The board room had 12 seats around a glass and metal conference table. The room itself had a wall of glass windows that viewed over the pool deck. In about fifteen minuets, the group had assembled: Kate had just gotten out of a shower and was wearing a pink robe with her name stitched on; April had also just gotten out of the shower, but was abel to chose an outfit and was wearing that now; Jake, who always slept past the alarm, had just dragged himself out of bead, still naked from sleeping. I had skinny-dipped and did 30 laps in the outside pool.

“Okay, listen up everyone! Cal, is going to be coming over for a week-over.” I said.
Kate said, “Oh, my God! He’s back! Oh, Oh! OH! I gotta fix my hair, do my makeup, cover my eyes with cucumber! AHHHHH!” Kate liked Cal. A lot.
“He’ll be here around 9:30am” I stated “We meet back here at 9:00am sharp! Meeting dissmissed.”

They slowly exited the room. I went to the pool deck, where I found April, tanning. I walked over to the shower area, undressed, took a short shower and proceeded to do 50 laps.

While swimming, I went over the schedule. Oh, God! This was going to be an interesting week.

[batman]

when i read the first chapter i thought this was going to be really bad but has gotten tones better! :D

[wicked]

This story is odd =/

the kids should be at least a little depressed because their parents don't pay any attention to them. it actually happens in the real world. people actually get depressed for life because of it.

[omega]

As a response to wicked: They are happy, there family is wealthy, there well provided for, they have friends, they have each other. And I am aware that it happens in the real world.

[Trissy]

This is good, keep writing.

[wicked]

As a response to wicked: They are happy, there family is wealthy, there well provided for, they have friends, they have each other. And I am aware that it happens in the real world.

alright. but just saying.

[omega]

And now chapter 4, for anyone still reading:

Chapter 4
Monday. 6:45am.

Beep... Beep... Beep… Beep. BEEP. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! The ‘beep’s where coming faster now…
Slam.
Cal Wilson turned off the alarm. He got out of bed, went to the bathroom, took off his boxers, and jumped into the shower. He shampooed his hair, conditioned it, and rinsed. He turned off the water, grabbed a towel and dryed off.

He selected a pair of Levi’s Jeans, a yellow Polo shirt, and a pair of plad, woven orange boxer shorts.

>--<

9:00am Monday.

We where assembled in the Board Room.

“Okay. Kate, Good.” She was wearing a pink tank-top, no bra, a skirt, no thong, and a green Areopostale hoodie.

“Uhhh. April, Fine.” April was wearing a blue tank-top, a bra, Levi’s Slim Jeans, a thong and a lime Hollister fleece.

“And Jake Uh. You need to were more that that.” Currently, Jake was dressed in navy blue Ambercrombie and Fitch boxers and a Gap grapgic tee.
“Uhhh… Shure?”
“Okay, do that now.”

“And I’m fine.” I was wearing an Areopostale light blue polo, deep green boxers, some loose Levi’s and my signature shell necklace.

9:30am Monday.

“Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride. Everything, everything will be just fine, Everything, everything will be alright” My ringtone started singing.
“Hello?”
“Die you effing bitch!” This was our way of saying ‘hello’
“Cal! It’s been forever!”
“Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. Just open the door.”
“Be down in a sec.” I hung up, press the intercom button on my desk and quickly anounced: “Cal is here, meet in the loft.”

I opened the door. Cal stared at me for what seemed like ages, eventually he said, “Are we going up?”
“Yep.”
“When?”
“Now.”
“Okay, let’s go.”
I led him down a hall and into and evevator. It would take 4 seconds to reach our floor.
The doors opened.

[V-man]

It's good so far...:)

[HSsportsstar 1]

yes please writing, i like this