Ferjin
01-31-2009, 01:13 PM
(Before I start the story, I just wanna say that this is my first time posting a story here, or anywhere acutally, and I would appricate feedback.I'm not going to state where I live but it's in a city surronded by dessert and in the story I will be referring to myself as Ferjin. :p I hope thats funny and I'm not just being lame. Please forgive my spelling and grammer also.)
When I was fifteen I hadn't had too many relationships with girls, and had never really gotten very far(I had only made out) because I tended to get very attached to girls, I easily feel into what I thought at the time was love.
I just ended up being really good friends with a bunch of girls because I treated them so well, but we never became more than just friends. I was happy to be their friends, and I really did love them (it had been about one girl a year since I was twelve), but each time they said they only wanted to be friends I died a little on the inside and just sort of gave up on getting a relationship moving onto a somewhat silly I just want them to be happy even if I'm miserable.
We would usually hang out at Jessica's (she had been my first love, and still current best friend) because it was huge, she had a pull, a tennis court, it was just coolest there. (Even though it pointed out how poor the rest of us are sometimes) The other girls were, Elizebeth, Isabella, and Anna. (That is the order I met them.) They had all become very good friends through me, and we usually spent alot of time talking about their boyfriends, which was fine because like I sap, I just wanted to help (I drew the line at talking about fashion). Often, the guys they would talk about were humungous jerks, but the girls seemed to like being mistreated. I ended up being sort of content just being their friends, but I longed for a relationship (as well as, lets be honest, getting it on.)
One day, while we were hanging out as usual at Jess's place, she came over to us and told us that her old best friend, Marie, from her hometown had moved into the city recently, and would be coming over to hang with us. At the time I had my first car (second hand, but I worked my butt off to pay for it, and my brother helped me fix it) so Jess asked me to take us all over to her new place and pick her up. We went over to pick her up together and met her outside of the apartment building she was now living in, I didn't know who she was till she did a tackle jump on Jessica. They were clearly over-joyed to see each other again. As she and Jess untangled themselves I got a good look at Marie. She was absoultely beautiful, she was roughly 5'8 just a bit shorter than me, gorgeous star eyes with full juicy red lips, C cup size breasts and was clearly keeping in shape without under eating, she made me think of an Amazon who didn't hate men when I first saw her smile. We were all quickly introduced with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
I was immediately infatuated with her, but from my prior experience felt already defeated and did not persue her in any means, she quickly became one of our group and a good friend of mine, I couldn't remove her from my mind, but I felt too pessimistic to make a move.
Just after the summer holiday's started, we celebrated by going to Jess's place and storming the winery while her parents were off someone sking. We got rather drunk, and we ended up sitting down in the winery surronded by empty bottles with me talking about my poor heartache.
"God, how I loved you all so much once, and still do in many ways, but I was stupid, I didn't give you what you want!", I went on like that for quite a while probably sluring my words.
Eventually Jess stood up and said some very conforting words, I think, she slurred so much I had no idea what she said, but she cried a bit into my shoulder, and hugged me tight, at which point the rest of the girls followed suit into a group hug.
Slowly they fell asleep one by one, and only Marie and I were left talking. She had asked me wether or not I liked her, since we had met through mutal friends rather than me persuing her. In my drunken state I opened up, saying that I had fallen madly in love with her over the past few months, longing to be with her, feeling like I wasn't good enough, and half way thought my rather emo speech she pulls me towards her and our lips meet.
I remember not being able to think about anything at all, just feeling my heart beat faster than it ever had before, all sorts of feelings racing through me which I do not know how to name, but they were grand and I felt alive. We parted, and we looked into each others eyes without saying anything for a moment, for the first time I saw the same longing I had for someone in her eyes. We kissed again, more passionately, but without the same escasty of the first kiss, which can never be replaced.
Then, when I tried to speak she put her finger on my lips and said "This moment is magical, lets not ruin it", and we just lay down by our close friends and I held her in my arms while we slept.
(Okay, I'll finish this a bit later, I have to do some work, feedback would be great, and its in the mature section because well, later I will write about the more explicit things that end up happening.)
When I was fifteen I hadn't had too many relationships with girls, and had never really gotten very far(I had only made out) because I tended to get very attached to girls, I easily feel into what I thought at the time was love.
I just ended up being really good friends with a bunch of girls because I treated them so well, but we never became more than just friends. I was happy to be their friends, and I really did love them (it had been about one girl a year since I was twelve), but each time they said they only wanted to be friends I died a little on the inside and just sort of gave up on getting a relationship moving onto a somewhat silly I just want them to be happy even if I'm miserable.
We would usually hang out at Jessica's (she had been my first love, and still current best friend) because it was huge, she had a pull, a tennis court, it was just coolest there. (Even though it pointed out how poor the rest of us are sometimes) The other girls were, Elizebeth, Isabella, and Anna. (That is the order I met them.) They had all become very good friends through me, and we usually spent alot of time talking about their boyfriends, which was fine because like I sap, I just wanted to help (I drew the line at talking about fashion). Often, the guys they would talk about were humungous jerks, but the girls seemed to like being mistreated. I ended up being sort of content just being their friends, but I longed for a relationship (as well as, lets be honest, getting it on.)
One day, while we were hanging out as usual at Jess's place, she came over to us and told us that her old best friend, Marie, from her hometown had moved into the city recently, and would be coming over to hang with us. At the time I had my first car (second hand, but I worked my butt off to pay for it, and my brother helped me fix it) so Jess asked me to take us all over to her new place and pick her up. We went over to pick her up together and met her outside of the apartment building she was now living in, I didn't know who she was till she did a tackle jump on Jessica. They were clearly over-joyed to see each other again. As she and Jess untangled themselves I got a good look at Marie. She was absoultely beautiful, she was roughly 5'8 just a bit shorter than me, gorgeous star eyes with full juicy red lips, C cup size breasts and was clearly keeping in shape without under eating, she made me think of an Amazon who didn't hate men when I first saw her smile. We were all quickly introduced with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
I was immediately infatuated with her, but from my prior experience felt already defeated and did not persue her in any means, she quickly became one of our group and a good friend of mine, I couldn't remove her from my mind, but I felt too pessimistic to make a move.
Just after the summer holiday's started, we celebrated by going to Jess's place and storming the winery while her parents were off someone sking. We got rather drunk, and we ended up sitting down in the winery surronded by empty bottles with me talking about my poor heartache.
"God, how I loved you all so much once, and still do in many ways, but I was stupid, I didn't give you what you want!", I went on like that for quite a while probably sluring my words.
Eventually Jess stood up and said some very conforting words, I think, she slurred so much I had no idea what she said, but she cried a bit into my shoulder, and hugged me tight, at which point the rest of the girls followed suit into a group hug.
Slowly they fell asleep one by one, and only Marie and I were left talking. She had asked me wether or not I liked her, since we had met through mutal friends rather than me persuing her. In my drunken state I opened up, saying that I had fallen madly in love with her over the past few months, longing to be with her, feeling like I wasn't good enough, and half way thought my rather emo speech she pulls me towards her and our lips meet.
I remember not being able to think about anything at all, just feeling my heart beat faster than it ever had before, all sorts of feelings racing through me which I do not know how to name, but they were grand and I felt alive. We parted, and we looked into each others eyes without saying anything for a moment, for the first time I saw the same longing I had for someone in her eyes. We kissed again, more passionately, but without the same escasty of the first kiss, which can never be replaced.
Then, when I tried to speak she put her finger on my lips and said "This moment is magical, lets not ruin it", and we just lay down by our close friends and I held her in my arms while we slept.
(Okay, I'll finish this a bit later, I have to do some work, feedback would be great, and its in the mature section because well, later I will write about the more explicit things that end up happening.)