To all slaves

[Deathstar22]

To Slaves

1. If a mistress or a master bitches at you for telling them your limits fucking drop them because they won't respect your limits

2. If a mistress or a master doesn't have a webcam, don't show them anything. They probably live in a 3rd world country somewhere looking to scam you so they can make a porno. If you strip for someone on cam and they are in another and make a dvd of you, you are fucked. Plus your offering up your body and if they can't get on cam then their really is no need to talk to them.

Any master or mistress who is going to treat you like shit right off the bat is most likely a fake.

I just wanted slaves to be aware of this because I have run across many people on this website who fail to provide valid proof of who they are and this is your body we are talking about and if they can't respect a few simple rules I advice you not to talk to them because they will screw you over. And most of these people from forgine countries use internet cafe's. So be careful out there

[jlstockton25]

It's not just people from foreign countries that abuse footage they receive online. Anytime you send someone an incriminating photo or video of yourself, your control over who gets to see it is gone.

If someone is asking for you to take your clothes off the first time you talk to them, it's not worth continuing the conversation. I suggest that you don't use your face in ANY pic or video until you trust the person you are sending them to 100%, and that trust can take months, if not years, to gain.

Whether it's a boyfriend/girlfriend or master/mistress, get to know their character before you send them photos or tell them personal info such as your phone number and address. Trustworthy people will understand why you have reservations getting personal quickly, so if you are feeling pushed, it's best to get out of the relationship.

[SubMissChievous]

I have moved this to the s/m lounge...

As far as the topic goes, well, jlstockton pretty much said the same I would have. As much as I respect the good intentions behind your post, it really has nothing to do at all with where people com from. I have chatted with many people who weren't all too serious about D/s and all they wanted were some nude pics. None of these people were from 3rd world countries they all were canadians, americans or from Western Europe.

And there are rude people everywhere as well. Stupidity has no nationality or race as far as I know.

[Manbearpig]

When on this site, everyone has to be smart. There have been reports of blackmail in the past. Even though you are a "slave," you have the power to say no on a online relationship. If someone asks you to take a picture you are not comfterable with, dont take it. It is your choice.

[monkeysrock]

As someone who has little experience as a slave this advice is perfect.

I was also given a gem of advice about sub/doms - think it was in CSI;

'Subs have the power. They have the safety word.'

[MasterPain]

the slave holds all the power in the relationship, because, without a slave a master is nothing!

if the masters do not put the same effort that the slaves put into the relationship its not worth the time of day even replying any more.

*note*
from a masters point of view, if a slave wants total domination right from the first message i will ignore.

[CheshireCat_13]

My master also has a safe word in case I want him to do something that he is utterly uncomfortable with or I am doing something that he doesn't feel safe with.

[masterddk]

I fully agree. it is not just masters who can be fakes. I prefer webcam or time and dated pictures for verification.

Safe words are an old favorite in master/slave relationships

Always be carefull, trust has to be gained on both parts

DDK

[Merlin]

i think being the master is more about having the control then having the power... :)

[kirrik]

I personally have leaned away from online relationships. I have still taken dares from people online, but most of the time I have just lost trust in them, which is sad, because some people are honest out there. But I have had too many bad experiences to waste my time. However, as for as D/s and M/s goes, almost every major city has some sort of group of people who are a community of like-minded people. I know that where I am, we have things called "munches" all the time, which usually consist of a bunch of us going to get coffee together and get to know everyone. It can become difficult to find these groups, but if you search hard enough, I'm sure you can. They are a lot safer and you get to meet real people, and there is always a group so you aren't meeting just a single person who may take advantage of you. I'm not an expert on this, but this is just my experience.

[Dominantjohn]

It's not just people from foreign countries that abuse footage they receive online. Anytime you send someone an incriminating photo or video of yourself, your control over who gets to see it is gone.

If someone is asking for you to take your clothes off the first time you talk to them, it's not worth continuing the conversation. I suggest that you don't use your face in ANY pic or video until you trust the person you are sending them to 100%, and that trust can take months, if not years, to gain.

Whether it's a boyfriend/girlfriend or master/mistress, get to know their character before you send them photos or tell them personal info such as your phone number and address. Trustworthy people will understand why you have reservations getting personal quickly, so if you are feeling pushed, it's best to get out of the relationship.

While this is true and a word of caution about it . . . I think that simple verification photos (non-identifiable) should be acceptible. I know that many girls think if you give them an inch they take the ruler but that's not true. In fact it's a great test of character to say you can ask for these within my limits but no more. If they pressure you you can know that they will pressure you in other areas as well.

I'm a big supporter of pics as there are WAY too many posers out there as stated in another debate. Caution is always advisable (not just online, in real life as well) . . . but considerations should be made for both sides.

[jlstockton25]

In many cases, it IS true that if you "give an inch they take the ruler," and that's very unfortunate.

I'm not saying don't send "non-identifiable verification pictures," because they may be a good way to know that both parties are who they say they are; I'm saying beware of those who ask for too much too soon.

Personally, the verification photos I've been asked to send include being naked with the screen name of the person I'm chatting with written on me, being naked with a specific item inserted that isn't typical ((in this case, a purple marker)) and being naked bent over and spread wide..are you getting the theme here?? Though all three of these gentlemen insisted my face wasn't necessary, that's still asking for too much too soon, in my opinion. Of course, I'm not saying that all verification photos have to be nudes; I'm just pointing out that realistically, that's the direction many people take it.

Overall, I'm still not a supporter of ANY pic being sent before a sense of trust has been gained, nude or not. That's also not to say that because you have been chatting online with someone for awhile that they are a good, trustworthy person. A good rule of thumb is an eye for an eye when starting with sending pictures; I show you mine, you show me yours. There is no foolproof way to protect yourself from predators, but in general if you use your brain, you will be fine.

If you feel comfortable sending pictures, then go for it, but you MUST be prepared for any consequences.

I apologize for the length.

[Newname!]

Hi, i am new to this sort of thing,

and reading this discourages me a little :(

But how am i going to know they are who they say they are? because he said before i get to see him i have to prove myself. by going on cam, pics etc

and also does having a male master make me gay? cos i aint gay, and dont wanna be.

[dareboy2]

Hi, i am new to this sort of thing,

and reading this discourages me a little :(

But how am i going to know they are who they say they are? because he said before i get to see him i have to prove myself. by going on cam, pics etc

and also does having a male master make me gay? cos i aint gay, and dont wanna be.



Dont be discourage, be lucky that you got this information before you had bad a mistake.
If he says you have to wait to see him he's not a keeper. you can always tell the goods from the bad if they would rather hold a normal conversation with you before they ever wanting to see you on naked that is always a good sign. if your talking more about non-slave stuff 50% or more of the time, its usually a good person, but especially when you are looking for a mistress make sure they go on cam, there are by far way to many fakes out there to take the risk

as for your last question, i feel that is more for something you to decide.

have fun

[jlstockton25]

Online M/s relationships are difficult, but if you just go on cam for a second, not nude, to prove you are who you say you are, that isn't too big of an issue.

Usually, at least from what I've gathered from reading around this and other sites, it's females who need to prove they are who they say they are, not males, but every relationship is unique.

Your potential Master may just want to verify you are old enough to consent to a sexual relationship, so simply showing your face on cam or in a picture should verify that.

As for being gay because you have a male master, as dareboy said, that is something for you to decide. Having a male master does not automatically make you gay, but you may feel more comfortable with a mistress. If that's the case, I wish you luck; good mistresses are in HIGH demand!! As dareboy also said, if you absolutely do not want a male Master, make sure it's really a female you're talking to. Usually the only way to do that is for the "mistress" to turn on her camera; it's very easy to send a fake picture.

Don't be too discouraged about Master/slave relationships. Once you find a good partner they can be very rewarding!! Good luck!!

[Dominantjohn]

In many cases, it IS true that if you "give an inch they take the ruler," and that's very unfortunate.

I'm not saying don't send "non-identifiable verification pictures," because they may be a good way to know that both parties are who they say they are; I'm saying beware of those who ask for too much too soon.

Personally, the verification photos I've been asked to send include being naked with the screen name of the person I'm chatting with written on me, being naked with a specific item inserted that isn't typical ((in this case, a purple marker)) and being naked bent over and spread wide..are you getting the theme here?? Though all three of these gentlemen insisted my face wasn't necessary, that's still asking for too much too soon, in my opinion. Of course, I'm not saying that all verification photos have to be nudes; I'm just pointing out that realistically, that's the direction many people take it.

Overall, I'm still not a supporter of ANY pic being sent before a sense of trust has been gained, nude or not. That's also not to say that because you have been chatting online with someone for awhile that they are a good, trustworthy person. A good rule of thumb is an eye for an eye when starting with sending pictures; I show you mine, you show me yours. There is no foolproof way to protect yourself from predators, but in general if you use your brain, you will be fine.

If you feel comfortable sending pictures, then go for it, but you MUST be prepared for any consequences.

I apologize for the length.

With technology being what it is now adays it's possible to setup a "loop" for video feeds and pics can be found anywhere. So while I understand the lengths some people go to I do usually do some kind of weird combination in a very specific outfit to prove it's live. Again, the thing here is communication, if you're uncomfortable, state your reasons with it. I've negotiated with slaves before in terms of what to send (eg: no nude, or nude but not showing anything) etc.

If they're looking to take the whole ruler then ditch them . . . they won't respect your limits unless it's something they're not into. It's a good test of control for the sub to state limits, even with pics, and see how good the master is at keeping within them.

It's always fun to circumnavigate the limits to a degree (not to mention the exercises in creativity). (Example, not showing anything, but is okay to edit out as little as possible). Still within the limits, but, just barely.

[Spitoon]

To verify somebody's pic ask them to send you one in a specific pose like a finger on their cheek and a thumb on their chin so you know it is them.

If you want to send your pic but do not want to be identified if they don't like you send pics of about 12 to 20 people and tell them to let you know who they like. If they don't like you then tell them you are one of the other ones they didn't like.

If you want to know whether they like what you like but don't want them to fake it to get you then put down your fetishes in a list with about 200% more fetishes and kinks which you are not into and don't like and tell them what you have done but that you are not going to tell them which are relevant to you and ask them which ones they like.

They way they will know that they cannot get you by saying they like the lot and will have to reply honestly.

The fakes won't bother.