exploring dom/sub relationships

[gfish15]

i am interested in exploring a dom/sub relationship bieng an adult male i have found that no matter what you ask for a slave/switch/or mistress it is very difficult to find a woman, or if you do find a female it is very difficult to find one of age, or what you are looking for, i have not found the luxury of finding a female yet. i do not understand why it is so hard to find a female on this site, it seems like the few females on this site are very reluctant to even share a picture or prove they are a female, when i am more than willing to share pictures. it is frustrating some times and i am not sure why. even just finding women to chat with is difficult can i please get a woman's prospective, can some one please explain why?

[Merlin]

you need to be aware that the amount of females on the net and also on the site are a lot lower than the amount of males so finding a female is of course hard alone because of that.
But it also means that a lot of the "females" are males in reality (and often have a male account here too...)
And some females will also lying about themselves (making them over 18 although they are under age for example)

And the few ones left that are real and over 18 are are hard to find...

I know not what you wanted to hear...

(Beside that also doesn't mean that all males are "real")

[gfish15]

it is hard to believe out of all of the people in the world it is hard to find what you are looking for i joined this site because i stumbled across it over the net.... i had no idea that this site existed and have yet to find another solid site like it, but it always seems like it is the same thing majority males and majority of females are lying about being females.

[Merlin]

still they are there...

[SubMissChievous]

Okay, I will try to answer some of your questions although I’m not sure I can be of any real help… :( But I’ll try at least from my standpoint to clarify a few things.

The reason why it is harder for a male to find a female partner is really that simple: there’s about 90% males and 10% females more or less on a site like here. And all female members are not all here necessarily for M/s, some are just looking for dares, some are under 18, some just come to lurk and read the stories… so it narrows even more the amount of females who are here for M/s and who are also available. And of course, as Merlin already said there is a portion of our female contingent that are not really females. The same problem exists on every site like here. I hear stories like that on every site I’m a member of, unfortunately. I would not go as far as saying that the majority of females are males but, yes, this is true that there are and particularly among Mistresses. A few months ago this had became a bigger issue as the problem kept increasing with new Mistresses with a suspiciously high level of testosterone registering on here… The staff has been working hard to find solutions for this. Some PMs were sent to those who abused our rules and some accounts were banned. At the moment that is the best we can do though and it’s not 100% foolproof.

Without giving out too much details as this is still something that is being discussed within the staff we are working on a new system that should be introduced after the new updates that will hopefully help members to feel safer about who they are contacting concerning gender issues. But it will still rely on the people’s willingness to heed the warnings.

As for finding the right person: for anyone looking for something that is at least a bit serious it will be relatively hard. And of course especially for males looking for a female partner as we know how outrageously outnumbered females are here. And in the last 18 months I’ve been here I’ve noticed that the male users who are more active on the forums in general seem to have better chances as they are more “visible”. It just seems that just posting advertisements and replying to some only helps a bit but that stepping out of the box and using other ways as well to approach people increases people’s chance a lot more. Hampers has posted an excellent thread recently about it recently that you may want to read:

http://getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=19141

About the pictures… it really does depend on how you approach it. I know most females are not sharing them right away and are being cautious with reason. The reasons why most of us won’t share them without at least a bit of time to feel comfortable enough is because, as you know, there are much more males on a site like here. So ALL of us have received already TONS of PMs requesting them and stuff like “u got pics?” or “u do cam?”… I know a fair amount of guys who don’t mind sharing pics or going on cam after just one or a few chats but it seems that females prefer for some of amount of trust to be built before doing so. Personally, I never had a problem with a normal pic as I have had my own pic as my avatar at times and sometimes I put on profile pics but to show more than that took a lot longer. And it is also the case for most females I know.

Another thing: I can only speak for myself about this as I have no idea what other female members think of this but for me, when a male came to me and said they wanted pics for proof it just completely puts me off. I sure hope there is another reason than just that :)

All I can say for advice about this point is to talk with the person without pressuring them. It will only make them feel even more reluctant. Many females are uncomfortable with how they look, some others have had bad experiences before (I know a few who have) and some will naturally need a bit of time just to trust you enough. Because, yes, there are also some males who are not honest and who ask for pics and stuff and then disappear.

Hope that helps a bit… :) There has been also quite a few good threads posted on these subjects that have been compiled in a stickie called "Threads of Note" that you click on in my sig :)

[Pingu]

Aye, read Chloe's link to Hampers thread. That will definitely help you as will rplural's post. I'm not super active on the forums but I am on most nights on the GetDare chat program where people in the lounge generally get to know each a little better by just random conversations.

By doing this, people will get to know you a little more and more females maybe a bit more comfortable to showing you their pics. With that said, don't "force" anyone into showing their pics. If they don't want to then they don't want to!! Show them a little respect by adhering to their wishes than constantly pestering them.

[CleverGirl]

From a female's view, I can tell you why I wouldn't send picks right away. There are a lot of reasons. First off, I don't want to get blackmailed. Secoundly, I don't want an untrustworthy person sending my pictures out onto the internet to float around and ruin my reputation or even make me lose my scholarship. So, really, its mostly a trust issue. Why should I send nude pictures to someone I've just met? I'd have to be an idiot to do that, especially since, with such a short supply of females, I don't have to do so attract Masters. Another reason would be that I want to be a slut with dignity! Sounds contradictory, right? Wrong. There is a difference between whoring yourself out to everbody and whoring yourself out to a person you care about and trust, for the mutual betterment of both persons. Patience is key. It sucks. I know. I'm the last person you'll find who enjoys being patient.

[CheshireCat_13]

I don't have pics of me for most of the same reasons as clevergirl. I attend a good university on a scholarship, and I'm transferring to another good university, also on a scholarship and I don't want to lose those. I also don't want to mess up my internship or my relationships with other people. And really, if you pressure me for pics right after you meet me, I'm just going to assume that you're not interested in a long time relationship. Notice, I said pressure and not ask. If you ask me nicely, I'll say no, but I'll continue think of you in a good way, and you'll gain brownie points for respecting my wishes. And then, with time and effort on your part to get to know me better, I might send you pics. It's all about trust.

[gfish15]

first of all i was not saying anything about nude pictures just a picture to prove they are a girl.... and i understnad that it is a trust issue.