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View Full Version : College Break [FICTION]


Kyle Mathers
12-18-2008, 08:55 AM
I have decided to get some stories from my life and some stories from other people's stories of there lives and fictions and put it into one big story! I hope you like it. Feel free to comment, and give some suggestions to the story.
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It was 6:00 PM. I was at College, in my dorm when my friend Cameron emailed me. He was wondering if I wanted to hook up tonight with some of the guys (and maybe some of the girls). Cameron was a friend of mine that goes to the same college as me and after all, tonight was when our break starts! I emailed him back saying I would be happy to.

Now it was 7:00 PM. I was just finishing up, while I took my shower and I went back to my computer and saw "1 New Email". I looked at it and it said to arrive at 8:00. So I got dressed and went over there, a bit early, since Cameron was my best friend, I'd thought I could help him prepare. When I got over there everything was ready him and I just hung out until some people started to come. So at about 8:20 everyone was just about there. Now Cameron had his own house near campus and this is where we were at. He had a pool, hot tub, huge backyard, big house (after all, his parents are rich). So it was an awesome party and at around 11:00, we decided to play truth or dare since there was only a few people left. So the first girl started. She was really popular and really cute. So she dared Cameron to do a nude race with all the other guys that where there at 12:00. It was around 11:30 now so we all jumped into the hot tub. And this is when one of the guys dared all of the girls to take there bikini's off.

Then this is when it started, one of the girls turned on the jets, and then they took them off. Now one of the girls dared all of the guys to take there's off and throw them on the loan chair about 30 yards away, and if they missed, they would have to go get it and give it to her. So one of the guys took his off and made it. Then the other guys, then I threw it and luckily made it! Now Cameron threw it and missed! He quickly got out, covering his dick, and got his bathing suit and threw it to the girl. He than ran back to the hot tub and the girl threw it over the fence, across the road, and onto the side walk. We then decided to get out, so the girls got out first, and we all saw there ass but everything else was covered. Then us guys got out and I ran to get my bathing suit with all the other guys but Cameron. We all ran over to watch Cameron hop the fence and get his bathing suit. So he crossed the road, and jumped over the fence completely naked. A little kid was riding his bike outside and saw him completely. He then laughed as he rode on. We where surprised that someone that was about 13 riding his bike at 11:30 at night!

So after that was over we headed over to our college. There was a big green space, so at the starting of the green space, we took off all of our clothes and ran as fast as we could. When we got back we put on our clothes and road on Cameron's truck all the way to a beach. Now this beach is really nice. So we decided to go skinny dipping. I just took off my stuff and ran in. They where all to shy to actually run in, "after all they've done tonight, how could they be to shy" I said to myself. Then Cameron took it off and jumped in and the girls and other guys took our clothes and ran off. We where surprised and stunned. We started running as fast as we could, when we saw a couple families in the distance. All the girls and guys but me and Cameron (which where completely naked) ran through the beach, with our clothes!

Cameron and I snook back into our dorms completely naked. In the hall way, one of friends named joseph, walked out and saw us. He just laughed and we got back to our dorm rooms.

The next day everyone was walking around campus and we didn't talk to them until the first day of school again. After school, they apologized and we walked around to where a big area of people where. One of the guys had a video camera with them and was carrying it with him. Then one of the girls held me back while the other took my shirt of then my pant, then boxers, until nothing was on me! Then the guy with the video camera started recording me completely naked and the crowd was watching too!

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Suggestions & Comments Please!

rpUral
12-18-2008, 09:27 AM
I hope the school's football coach recruited the girl that threw the swimsuit... I'd like to see someone throw just about anything made of cloth that far. That and the 13 year old riding a bike around at midnight really stretches the realm of believeability.

Other than that, it's not a bad story...

x.Emma.x
12-18-2008, 10:00 AM
This is not believeable. I don't like it. Feel free to continue if you want :)

coolio5
12-18-2008, 02:13 PM
uhh
well, it just seems like the story is rushed. you could have made one post about the party, one post about the green, one post about the beach,etc.

try adding more detail, it would make it more entertaining to read

one plus is that the grammar and spelling are good, so its easy to read

Officelover
12-18-2008, 02:29 PM
It could have been better if it wasn't as rushed.

Kyle Mathers
12-18-2008, 03:04 PM
I actually don't have time to continue so, if someone could redo it, or even continue if liked it that much. (just make sure to my name)

Lizard
12-19-2008, 06:32 PM
one plus is that the grammar and spelling are good, so its easy to read

I beg to differ. No grammar teacher would give sentances like these a passing grade:

When I got over there everything was ready him and I just hung out until some people started to come.

I was just finishing up, while I took my shower and I went back to my computer and saw "1 New Email".

Unlike some stories, it is nice to see that this author knows where the shift key is and how to break the text into paragraphs.