Curious

[Slave Girl]

Well, finally. I spent hours searching for a forum to post some questions on and then I wandered into the "Slave/Master" ad section and I'm not interested in finding a Master right now. I'm interested in learning more about the Slave/Master relationship and finding out if it is the right lifestyle for me. Here, I'll give you guys some background. I'm currently a college student. I'm a straight A's gal, studying to become a doctor, a brain surgeon actually. I'm very involved in my community and on-campus activities. Anyone who saw me would think I am in control and dominant in all I do. And perhaps that's why in interested in finding a Master. It sucks being in control all the time. I'm always the one fixing things when my family or friends fuck up, so I'm always in control. And so I tend to attract non dominant, weak males who see me and say, "Oh, she's got it together. She's nice to me" (I'm nice to everyone) She can fix me and my problems." And then we date, and I make all the decisions and I pay for all the dates and my men are all shy and like, "Do you want to have sex now?" And in my head I'm like, "You're not supposed to ask! You're supposed to push me down on the bed whether I want to be there or not." And so we go along like this, me refusing to make decisions so that my men will, perhaps, be forced to take some initiative. Also, I have a very submissive nature behind all the control, so I feel weird telling my man to shape up and take control. I don't tell my men what to do. So if they don't take control on their own, I just stay as I am, controling everything, even the sex life. Id be nice to have some one tell me what to do. I once told my boyfriend that I'd love for him to give me orders and he looked at me like I was crazy! Then he laughed it off. He is trying to be more dominant though. But he isn't that hardcore, and I'm wondering if, perhaps, I am and if so, how will that fit into my aspirations? How would you Masters out there feel if your female slaves made $300,000 a year, because as a neurosurgeon, that would be my minimum salary? Would you feel less dominant? How can I combine my high aspirations with my desire to serve and be submissive? And then it hit me, perhaps what I'm looking for is a combination. Perhaps I want a Master who isn't looking for an ordinary slave, who can challenge me to my limits so that I am submissive, yet aspiring? A Master who doesn't just give out simple orders and expects me to sit around all day, as a pet. The other day this dude who had heard about my academic prestige started asking me a bunch of questions about my future plans and my GPA, sizing me up as a potential date, and despite my 4.0, he found me unsatisfactory. I was like"Awesome, some guy out there is more powerful, smarter, than I am and found me below his expectations." It felt good to have a need to improve myself and to be found unsatisfactory. I'm usually the best at everything I do. So a good Master for me would have high expectations I could barely reach. He would require me to be actively submissive, perhaps have me take pole dancing lessons (that shit is hard and requires lots of muscle) so that I would have to work hard to please him, and not just in bed either. You know? But of course, love and trust need to be ivolved. And guys out there with similar contradictions? Aspiring and in control, but also the desire to be submissive? Can my lifestyle of high achievemnet fit in with a slave role? Maybe I'm really into this, but I also wonder if I'm just in some hopeless fantasy and that this type of lifestyle is impractical? Could I handle it? I don't know. Perhaps I should, just for the experince, do something like a three month Slave/Master relationship and then ditch it from there. But a man who can handle a strong willed girl like me as his slave sure as hell must have something. I won't be submissive to a pussy. What if, like everyone else I know, I have a Master who does dumb shit and I have to fix his problems? That would defeat the purpose of my role. Any suggestions, comments, or hints would be appreciated. But please, do not hit on me. I have a boyfriend and am here for information from experienced people, not for a date.

Thanks!

[applebooty]

I'm in the same boat you are. I've flirted with the idea for years before I finally jumped into a few online relationships, but have yet to experience much of anything offline. Hope someone can help you out.

[nnicko3]

hmm.. u want to try but u are afraid to be disapointed by a weak master and don't want to be involved physically at first...i see...
i would say u should try master/slave online realtionship first, but i prefer to say stop to chicken out and sell ur soul and body to a master.
Have u really understood what it means to be a slave, if yes then PM me and let's have a talk else i don't think u will ever find ur happiness.

[dared to perfection]

what you need is someone that knows the Dom / sub world well ... someone that doesnt care for how smart you are and will therefore not rank you highly as a slave due to your academics (which are impressive but dont put you better than people) but instead rank you on obediance as their slave.
As a true obediant slave you will not find yourself taking control of a situation instead you shall know what is required of you.
if you want to try a little bit of obediance but nothing extreme get yourself into a routine with a boyfriend where he initiates sex and from then on you do it EVERY time he wants to (no exceptions) then that will put you in a more obediant mind set.

I'd also like to add, i am well educated, still going through the system but will aspire to high spec jobs. Sometimes obeying someone is one of the best ways to bring myself back down to earth... to escape the troubles that other people have created and i am left to troubleshoot.

[avpr]

Are you for real? A 'straight A' student yet you can't work out this pretty simple scenario?

You're a wuss. A bright wuss but a wuss no the less. You go around being nice to everyone. It's 'Cosmic Law': Like attracts like. The dominant but weak guys are frightened of your intelligence - their prey are those with lesser minds: easier to control, easy to put down to boost their own lack of self-worth. The strong, dominant guys aren't attracted to you because you have no fight in you, you’re not interesting. Sure, you might be in some debating society or a political movement but you act 'nice' and 'nice' girls are never much fun to be with. Such women’s problems are too easy to fix and they don’t throw us suitable challenges to deal with. Nice girls/guys are boring – like cheap milk chocolate: enjoyable for a while but boring if you see them too often. They can also have problems moving on which can cause a whole lot of problems. They soon teach strong guys to avoid them.

Add to that - you like wusses. You care for them, nurture them, protect them. You're their mum. I don’t need to explain why that situation doesn’t make your endorphins – or other more obvious secretions – flow like Niagara do I. Just as your boyfriend - lovely as I'm sure he is - doesn't quite do it for you, you won't do it for the sorted strong guys how know how to generate massive amounts of attraction in women.

Here’s a solution:

You’re bright – so study attraction. It’s not difficult. It’s basic psychology. If you were a nerdy, wussy guy, I’d tell you to study the material authored by the likes of David DeAngelo and Neil Strauss*. David D isn’t the most inspiring person to listen to for hours but you’d learn why women are attracted to ‘bad boys’ and how ‘nice’ guys can create similar attraction/chemistry without being a jerk. The stuff he teaches men isn’t that different to what you need to know.

Maybe you ought to get your guy to read some of the above mentioned literature. Maybe you should both read it. Help him learn how to seduce women. Build yourself a better boyfriend. Teach him how to be sexually attractive to others. The growth potential for you – in dealing with your boyfriend being hit upon by other women, the feelings you’d get while you see him expertly escalating the desire of very attractive woman, the jealousy, the sleepless nights – is tremendous. If he stays with you, you'll feel the attraction you so strongly desire and the threesomes could be cool. If he doesn’t, what you will have become will be very, very attractive to the kind of man you're looking for.

Your strong, appropriately dominant, guy will understand how to make you want him so much that it really hurts. If, after he’s doing that for you, you still want to be controlled he will be confident enough to indulge in your fantasies: although whether such a man would still find you attractive if you wanted this all of the time, and it not just be part of your varied sex life, I don’t know. It would put me off if I didn’t know that you were strong on the inside and that this was just a cool, time-limited, fantasy power game. Knowing you were strong on the inside would make it so much more enjoyable.

The good news is that you can be ‘nice’ and also be very attractive to dominant guys: but you have to change and grow. Even better is that there are guys out there who are ‘nice’ and also dominant. Guy who understand attraction. There are also guys who are dominant because they are weak on the inside. Best avoid those. You want the ‘sorted and strong’ type not the ‘messed up’ type. If you mix with the latter: expect bruises – and not necessarily the kind that are fun to receive.



*maybe a popular book on evolutionary biology might be a better place for you to start.

[New]

^ thats pretty deep there avpr...but agreed. stop being a smart dumbass