freak
08-16-2008, 01:00 AM
Hello people, I hope some people can give me some constructive criticisms on how to better my story writing ability,
I can keep going with the story but don't see the point unless anyone finds it interesting so yea, reply with what you think.
Day 28
Tied down to the icy cold steal bed in some of the thickest chains I have ever felt around my wrists and ankles, Tighter than you could imagine.
Vibrator strapped rubbing my clit in the same spot over and over and over..
This was the 4th hour now, Or the 6th. To be honest I had lost count. every minute started to feel like a hour as I was painfully cuming stronger and harder than ever before..
My mind starts to wonder as I wounderd if I should have replied to the internet ad with the subject line "Be my bitch" from "MasterDave666" from a well known online BDSM Community.
I continued to think while the pain in my clit started to succeed to a worsting degree.
"Is he ever going to stop the vibrator?" "Why do I enjoy this pain so much?"
A realization starts to pop up in my mind, I'm a whore, a pain slut and a slave and I have never felt so good.
Thoughts about the drink that I split all over my master come rushing back to my head as I painfully cum again, The fact that he bumped me so I would spill it doesn't mean anything to me, It was my fault. I shouldn't of been such a stupid slave. I should of held it tighter and been ready for the bump.
"Stupid clumsy bitch I am" I say to myself whiling letting out a loud painful moan.
All of a sudden the vibrator stops and I feel it being unstrapped and removed. My newly found Master releases the tight thick chains around my wrists leaving the ankle chains in tack.
A deep voice starts to speak "Will you ever spill my drink again?"
"No.." I replied "I'm so sorry."
"WHAT!???" Shouts the deep voice
I hear the deep voice let out a sigh. "We will tech you yet, Don't worry."
I then realize my mistake. "No master" I reply without even needing to think.
"Thats much better, But because you screwed up again..... Well, Hold up your hands"
Still laying on the cold steal bed with my ankle chains I raise my hands timidly fearful of whats coming next.
All of a sudden I feel a massive weight in both hands and feel something being strapped around them.
"Keep your hands up in the air, If you drop these 30KG weights you will receive much worse punishment than your tiny 20 year old female muscles being sore. or you clit being sore."
"But..." I started to say but was cut off "BUT WHAT?"
"Uhh.. Nothing sir.. Nothing at all" I remember its never worth questioning my master, even if I think its impossible what he asks of me.
"Better" he mumbles as he locks the basement door behind him.
"Its so cold" I mumble to myself trying to keep the weights in position
Some how, I still don't know how. I managed to keep my hands in the air for over the hour and a half master was away, I realized now I had the biggest desire to please him and some how that overcame any bodily weakness my tiny female figure had.
*Click* I hear the lock being unlocked to the basement and the door starts opening, I look over and see my master standing in the door way holding a small paper bag I couldn't make out the writing on the bag due to the dimness of the basement, with only a 40watt globe lighting the entire area.
But I hoped, oh how I hoped it was my new collar
He quickly looks over to me with his beautiful brown eyes. "Did you lower your hands while I was away?"
"Nnnnnoo. SSsir" I said with pain running down my arms in to my ribs, I could hardly breath anymore let alone talk.
"Let me check that then" He says with a great amount of impression in his voice as he moves over to the video camera.
It takes him about 10 minutes to review the last hour and a half on fast forward.
"Good girl, I'm very impressed, You may lower your hands now."
The words from his mouth bring tears to my eyes and make me slightly more wet, Not the fact that I can lower my hands but the fact that I have impressed my master and made him happy.
I lower my hands and my master walks over slowly and undoes the wrist straps that where keeping the weights attached to my hands.
"I brought you something for being such a good girl"
My eyes light up as I see him slowly pull a pretty pink color from the paper bag with writing on the front of the collar reading " Slave of MasterDave"
"Oh thank you master, thank you." I say as the collar gets put around my neck and locked.
"You deserve it, you have been a very good girl, In fact. You can come up in to the house now. Your training has been successful."
"FINALLY" I think to myself.
"After 4 long weeks in the training room, I am ready to serve, I cant wait!"
Master starts to undo the ankle chains that have sent my feet purple and numb
"Get up"
I try to get up while the blood is rushing back in to my feet but the pins and needles make me quickly go down on all 4's
*Slap* "Ahh" I say as I rub my ass.
"get up, lets go"
I slowly get up and manage to ignore the pins a needles enough to hober to the door.
I look back at the dark and gloomy training room with a smile.
"Yes I did it!"
I can keep going with the story but don't see the point unless anyone finds it interesting so yea, reply with what you think.
Day 28
Tied down to the icy cold steal bed in some of the thickest chains I have ever felt around my wrists and ankles, Tighter than you could imagine.
Vibrator strapped rubbing my clit in the same spot over and over and over..
This was the 4th hour now, Or the 6th. To be honest I had lost count. every minute started to feel like a hour as I was painfully cuming stronger and harder than ever before..
My mind starts to wonder as I wounderd if I should have replied to the internet ad with the subject line "Be my bitch" from "MasterDave666" from a well known online BDSM Community.
I continued to think while the pain in my clit started to succeed to a worsting degree.
"Is he ever going to stop the vibrator?" "Why do I enjoy this pain so much?"
A realization starts to pop up in my mind, I'm a whore, a pain slut and a slave and I have never felt so good.
Thoughts about the drink that I split all over my master come rushing back to my head as I painfully cum again, The fact that he bumped me so I would spill it doesn't mean anything to me, It was my fault. I shouldn't of been such a stupid slave. I should of held it tighter and been ready for the bump.
"Stupid clumsy bitch I am" I say to myself whiling letting out a loud painful moan.
All of a sudden the vibrator stops and I feel it being unstrapped and removed. My newly found Master releases the tight thick chains around my wrists leaving the ankle chains in tack.
A deep voice starts to speak "Will you ever spill my drink again?"
"No.." I replied "I'm so sorry."
"WHAT!???" Shouts the deep voice
I hear the deep voice let out a sigh. "We will tech you yet, Don't worry."
I then realize my mistake. "No master" I reply without even needing to think.
"Thats much better, But because you screwed up again..... Well, Hold up your hands"
Still laying on the cold steal bed with my ankle chains I raise my hands timidly fearful of whats coming next.
All of a sudden I feel a massive weight in both hands and feel something being strapped around them.
"Keep your hands up in the air, If you drop these 30KG weights you will receive much worse punishment than your tiny 20 year old female muscles being sore. or you clit being sore."
"But..." I started to say but was cut off "BUT WHAT?"
"Uhh.. Nothing sir.. Nothing at all" I remember its never worth questioning my master, even if I think its impossible what he asks of me.
"Better" he mumbles as he locks the basement door behind him.
"Its so cold" I mumble to myself trying to keep the weights in position
Some how, I still don't know how. I managed to keep my hands in the air for over the hour and a half master was away, I realized now I had the biggest desire to please him and some how that overcame any bodily weakness my tiny female figure had.
*Click* I hear the lock being unlocked to the basement and the door starts opening, I look over and see my master standing in the door way holding a small paper bag I couldn't make out the writing on the bag due to the dimness of the basement, with only a 40watt globe lighting the entire area.
But I hoped, oh how I hoped it was my new collar
He quickly looks over to me with his beautiful brown eyes. "Did you lower your hands while I was away?"
"Nnnnnoo. SSsir" I said with pain running down my arms in to my ribs, I could hardly breath anymore let alone talk.
"Let me check that then" He says with a great amount of impression in his voice as he moves over to the video camera.
It takes him about 10 minutes to review the last hour and a half on fast forward.
"Good girl, I'm very impressed, You may lower your hands now."
The words from his mouth bring tears to my eyes and make me slightly more wet, Not the fact that I can lower my hands but the fact that I have impressed my master and made him happy.
I lower my hands and my master walks over slowly and undoes the wrist straps that where keeping the weights attached to my hands.
"I brought you something for being such a good girl"
My eyes light up as I see him slowly pull a pretty pink color from the paper bag with writing on the front of the collar reading " Slave of MasterDave"
"Oh thank you master, thank you." I say as the collar gets put around my neck and locked.
"You deserve it, you have been a very good girl, In fact. You can come up in to the house now. Your training has been successful."
"FINALLY" I think to myself.
"After 4 long weeks in the training room, I am ready to serve, I cant wait!"
Master starts to undo the ankle chains that have sent my feet purple and numb
"Get up"
I try to get up while the blood is rushing back in to my feet but the pins and needles make me quickly go down on all 4's
*Slap* "Ahh" I say as I rub my ass.
"get up, lets go"
I slowly get up and manage to ignore the pins a needles enough to hober to the door.
I look back at the dark and gloomy training room with a smile.
"Yes I did it!"