Ownership and Consideration

[Kylyesan]

This site really bothers me a little. I am a Lifestyle Mistress in Arkansas, I am 20 but I have owned and considered many slaves and subs. I see a lot of "Masters" here putting in their answers to "slaves" ads that they will not make them do anything that they do not wish to do. I also see a lot of people being "owned" after just a day or two. This is not how it works in the real world and I would like to see the younger generation pick up on how this is supposed to work and actually fulfill this so that when they come of age to actually own a slave they know what they are doing.

Stages:
1. Meeting - This is when you start talking to the person on here or AIM or YIM or whatever.
2. Greeting - When you see pictures (PG-13) and cam of the other person proving that they are who they are.
3. Getting to know - The time in which you get to know a person as a person not just a BDSM object or slave, this is the time to get to know the person's vanilla interests as well
4. Consideration - When the Master has decided that they would like to train the slave to become their own, this is the trial period in which both decide if the relationship will work out.
5. Ownership - This is when both parties have signed a contract into one owning the other for a set amount of time and the slave acknowledges that they are now bound to this one master.

For any Masters out there in training who would like to be taught the ways of a Lifestyle Dom or Domme, please send me a PM and I would be happy to have you as an apprentice. (NO I will not cyber with you or do any of that stuff.) Also, if you are capable of traveling I would be up to teaching you some in my household.

[SubMissChievous]

As much as I agree with you about how some Masters & slaves on this site don't show much knowledge or experience I can say from experience that I've encountered this on many other sites as well. Just put an ad on collarme & you will get a lot of those replies too... :(

But another thing to take into consideration is that a lot of younger users do not take D/s to the same level as you (or me) would & some of them prefer a more casual-TorD like approach which is perhaps better when you get started into the lifestyle rather than going into one of those "I'm a no-limits slave" jokes... :rolleyes:

[MasterPain]

I aggree with both of you, not many people do not take this to the level we do.

most are " i iz no-limit slave own me" " i ownz you now suck my cock"
"omg i am owned now"

i have been in contact with a few " im a slave own me" i blocked everyone of them, a few had webcamras and photos and were smoking hot, but they wanted things way to fast. but they didnt want anything more, or even to talk. they used fast almost rude comments to my questions.

[TensionRoom101]

I'm sorry, I just don't agree with you at all.

I do agree, wholeheartedly, that the young 'uns have little understanding of the massive differences between slave and submissive, Dominant and Master/Mistress, and the whole D/s lifestyle. It is for many a game to brag about with many of their mates, and nothing more.

Where I disagree is with your timeline and ordered structure. It might be the way you do it, and the way your friends do it, but it is not the only way (and I always have my doubts about Doms who are so restricted by a perceived etiquette). There is no SUPPOSED TO- just a way it generally tends to happen.

I too am a VERY active lifestyler, actively involved in the running of two fetish clubs and a BDSM club here in the UK. I've been a dom for over 20 years, and spend much of my time among other lifestylers, serious subs, and those who just like a bit of a monthly spanking.

Let's see. Meeting. Meeting is when I meet them. Face to face. If it's on here, collarme, informedconsent, kinktalk, cuckoldplace or wherever they make first contact, we haven't met until we've met. That simple. The number of subRebeccas I've 'met' in an online capacity that turn out to be a 37 year old man who still lives with his mother, or a 15 year old wannabe.

Greeting. I greet people who introduce themselves to me. I have no need to see photographs to say hello and welcome them to my world. I do require proof of age if talk gets to the point where actual or virtual activity is likely, but otherwise no.

Getting to know. Agree entirely, but not as a separate stage as it makes it a finate, compartmentalised part of the process. Getting to know starts from first contact and continues for the life of the relationship and beyond.

Consideration. This whole 'under consideration' thing is a device for wavering and undecided Doms to stop subbies talking to others. Not committed enough themselves, but terrified someone else beats them to the fresh meat. Subbies, don't buy into it. A Dom is either interested or he isn't. Just because you are submissive, for god's sake put a value on yourselves people. No true Dom wants a sub with no concept of self worth.

Mike

[Story_Teller]

You all have definitely brought up some good points. But what I think it comes down to is the age. This isn't necessarily a BDSM forum, it's a truth or dare forum. So naturally this site will attract a younger crowd. I think alot of kids around here are just discovering how they feel about S&M and are testing the waters so to speak. Which I think is totally fine. What I disagree with is the people on here who say they've been a "lifestyler" for years, when in reality they've never ventured outside of this site.

I think Kyly and Tansion are both right in going about finding a slave. It's my belief that there is no singular way in finding a good sub/dom. As long as you're honest and sincere about who you are and what you want you'll be fine.