Erectile Issues?

[CandiChris]

Hello all GetDare users. As of late I have been becoming sexually involved with a female, this female is vanilla as they come and as you can expect im not.. Now i have extremely strong feelings for her and I want to please her sexually but due to continued exposure to bdsm and torture I am unable to become hard in relation to softcore or vanilla stimulation.. Its extremely frustrating and causing both of us great distress.. If anyone has advice, some experience or even want to chime in just please reply or private message me. Thanks

[zmoody1]

whats more important? this site or her?

[CandiChris]

Ill be honest here and say her. Im only asking here because of the community and my
comfort in posting here. Im willing to give up bdsm for her.. I just want to be turned on by "nor.al" softcore and "vanilla stimulae..

[AmericanNightmare]

Alot of factors can be involved as well, most within a BDSM lifestyle are quite a bit more active then a "Normal/Vanilla" relationship, Do you ejaculate quite often? If so try going a week without any stimuli. Ignore seeing a therapist cause that just shames you for being you or finding something attractive also they honestly cant do too much but prescribe head meds that will effect it further more.

[CandiChris]

Yeah.. Thanks.. Ill give that a go

[DirtyDarez]

Actually had the same sort of thing happen to me, probably not what you want to hear but it came down to mind over matter.

I would get aroused when I was at home, on my own, even if that was watching vanilla porn (which doesn't happen often :rolleyes: )

But once it came to stuff with a partner, if it wasn't bdsm related, I would find it a lot harder (not literally, unfortunately)

I ended up giving up for a while and sort of relaxed with the whole bdsm side of things and then eventually I was cured :eek: Well, I could get hard, I'm still a bdsm addict :D

[CandiChris]

I dont want to give up my bdsm side.. Oh well.. Ill try

[DirtyDarez]

You don't have to, well, not for long anyway. I didn't give it up, I just took a break so I could regain my vanilla side, it didn't take long and now I can have a relationship involving BDSM or vanilla, or both ;)

[CandiChris]

Did you do anything to further envourage the change?