Hello, Other Forums and Trying to Cope - Advice?

[golden lily]

Hi all,

im new to this forum, not really sure where to post this. Just thought i'd say hello.

i've been looking for a few M/s based chat forums that arent just personal ads, where people can introduce themselves and just generally talk. does any one have any personal favourites?

my issue (also the reason i started looking for sites) - i was recently in a M/s (as the slave) relationship with a Master. W/we were doing our thing for several months (friends for years prior) however recently He has met this other girl (vanilla) and decided He wanted a "normal" girlfriend. They just met a few weeks ago, started dating 2 days ago, and now they are getting an apartment togeather and He doesnt even want to talk to me now.

as Y/you can probably assume, im absolutley crushed. He was my life. i had given Him complete control - basically TPE except i wasnt living with Him due to His work and my studies. i know i should move on, and get over Him, but he was so important to me, and i just dont know what to do. Just the thought of Him with the other girl makes me sick to my stomach, and i havent been able to eat much this past week because i've been so physically upset.

i dont know what to do. Are there any slaves out there whos Masters rejected them for a vanilla relationship that can offer me advice? Or any Masters out there who would be willing to help me by offering advice? i really want to get involved with another Master, but im worried that this will just happen again, and i just dont know - i obviously dont want ot move on, but i think i'll have to, if only for my health. i don't know anyone in the BDSM or M/s community other then Him and i just feel so lost.:(

golden lily

[Fiendish]

Hi all,

im new to this forum, not really sure where to post this. Just thought i'd say hello.

i've been looking for a few M/s based chat forums that arent just personal ads, where people can introduce themselves and just generally talk. does any one have any personal favourites?

my issue (also the reason i started looking for sites) - i was recently in a M/s (as the slave) relationship with a Master. W/we were doing our thing for several months (friends for years prior) however recently He has met this other girl (vanilla) and decided He wanted a "normal" girlfriend. They just met a few weeks ago, started dating 2 days ago, and now they are getting an apartment togeather and He doesnt even want to talk to me now.

as Y/you can probably assume, im absolutley crushed. He was my life. i had given Him complete control - basically TPE except i wasnt living with Him due to His work and my studies. i know i should move on, and get over Him, but he was so important to me, and i just dont know what to do. Just the thought of Him with the other girl makes me sick to my stomach, and i havent been able to eat much this past week because i've been so physically upset.

i dont know what to do. Are there any slaves out there whos Masters rejected them for a vanilla relationship that can offer me advice? Or any Masters out there who would be willing to help me by offering advice? i really want to get involved with another Master, but im worried that this will just happen again, and i just dont know - i obviously dont want ot move on, but i think i'll have to, if only for my health. i don't know anyone in the BDSM or M/s community other then Him and i just feel so lost.:(

golden lily

Here's a hug for you *hug*

That sucks. I know this may not be what you want to hear, but I wouldn't consider him much of a Master if he just abandoned you like that. You thought things were going good, apparently they weren't from his POV.

You'd be surprised at who is involved in the BDSM and M/s community around you... it's hard to find, because alot of people aren't going to admit to it, but they are there. Keep looking, you'll find someone that will use you right.

Here's another *hug* for ya. Feel free to PM me if you need to vent a bit more or just need some hugs.

I'd recommend slavefarm, but make sure to fill in your profile, or you'll be insta-labelled as a fake and mostly ignored.

[SubMissChievous]

i've been looking for a few M/s based chat forums that arent just personal ads, where people can introduce themselves and just generally talk. does any one have any personal favourites?

http://www.kinktalk.com/talk/index.php

This is getDare's new "sibling" site :) It was launched about only 2 months ago so obviously it's still very new & in development but you may find some interesting D/s-related discussions there.

i dont know what to do. Are there any slaves out there whos Masters rejected them for a vanilla relationship that can offer me advice? i really want to get involved with another Master, but im worried that this will just happen again...

I know the feeling exactly... Something relatively similar happened to me once. It was a very different context as it was an online relationship & the reasons why this guy left are very different but being rejected is never fun no matter how it happens... By reading your post I have the impression that for you, a D/s relationship isn't strictly just some kink play & that your needs are wider than just the sexual aspect so when something like this happen you inevitably lose more than just a play partner. The sudden loss of control can create a huge void. Not to mention that, like Fiendish said, it's not something that most people talk with everybody in their surroundings so it's normal that you feel very "alone" right now...

I can't tell for sure about this guy (your ex-partner) since I don't know him but my impression is that he probably didn't take the relationship as seriously as you did unfortunately. This happens... Many people who seek such relationships "just for the thrill" may sometimes not realize how important it may be for others who crave that control beyond "the bedroom" & consequently don't think much of what consequences their actions may have on their subs...

i don't know anyone in the BDSM or M/s community other then Him and i just feel so lost.:(

Doing what you just did: registering here & posting this is already a good step. As said earlier it's not always simple to find people who you can talk about these things in RL so sites like here & Kink Talk come in handy in order to find other people involved in the lifestyle to share with. I myself found, aside from my Master, a few good friends with whom I can share my thoughts & feelings with & this has been a great help for me. In both good times & not-so-good ones.

I really don't know any magic words that could ease your feelings right now. None other than it's normal for you to feel this way right now. I think the best thing to do in such situations is to allow some time to heal your wounds & to be open to talk with people you'll find in the community about these things. You'll be surprised on how many others have also had either bad experiences or just have insecurities about having things like that happening. And you'll see that you're not alone after all...

Good luck to you :) *Hugs*

[golden lily]

Thanks alot chloe, thats is some great advice. i really appreciate it :)

[TheLittleStrawberry]

Hi all,

im new to this forum, not really sure where to post this. Just thought i'd say hello.

i've been looking for a few M/s based chat forums that arent just personal ads, where people can introduce themselves and just generally talk. does any one have any personal favourites?

my issue (also the reason i started looking for sites) - i was recently in a M/s (as the slave) relationship with a Master. W/we were doing our thing for several months (friends for years prior) however recently He has met this other girl (vanilla) and decided He wanted a "normal" girlfriend. They just met a few weeks ago, started dating 2 days ago, and now they are getting an apartment togeather and He doesnt even want to talk to me now.

as Y/you can probably assume, im absolutley crushed. He was my life. i had given Him complete control - basically TPE except i wasnt living with Him due to His work and my studies. i know i should move on, and get over Him, but he was so important to me, and i just dont know what to do. Just the thought of Him with the other girl makes me sick to my stomach, and i havent been able to eat much this past week because i've been so physically upset.

i dont know what to do. Are there any slaves out there whos Masters rejected them for a vanilla relationship that can offer me advice? Or any Masters out there who would be willing to help me by offering advice? i really want to get involved with another Master, but im worried that this will just happen again, and i just dont know - i obviously dont want ot move on, but i think i'll have to, if only for my health. i don't know anyone in the BDSM or M/s community other then Him and i just feel so lost.:(

golden lily

Hi welcome to this site, and hope you have a nice stay.

On your other part of the post, I just wanna say - my heart goes out for you.
I know the feeling you have. I was, like Chloe, In an online relationship too. Although I left him, because I found out he hadn't been completely honest about some things and also screwed things up with another girl, I've always had this feeling of not being able to move on. Incidentally, we roam around on the same game-forum, and he's a Moderator there. So of course everytime I see his name, I see red.
I keep having urges for revenge(and I think I'll have it soon). I just nee something that tells him, "You shouldn't have done it. I win in the end."
He pretended to care about me at first after we split, but I could clearly see that he didn't so I just deleted him from my message-list.
Yea it might be only online, but it's still not funny.
But now I can only imagine how bad you must feel, since you've lived so close to him and stuff :(
I bet that you, like me, need closure. Sure you liked him, but I'm sure you can always find someone new. But it's so hard when someone who meant alot to you, just disregards your feelings and does whatever.
Oh but please, don't let this stop you from meeting new guys and trying to find new love. Its never easy to find the One.
But, as I said, you probably need closure. Or you might need to hear him say sweet words again.
I suggest that you try and talk to him. Tell him that he an idiot for just letting you go like that. Or.. Seek revenge? I don't know. people would probably tell you it's a bad idea. But revenge would certainly help me move on. It would give me a slight upper hand, and whenever I see his name I would think "Worthless idiot", and not "He hurt me."
But if on the other hand, he chooses to talk to you, try and do that. But don't cry that you want him back. It's not gonna happen. Just think about what you wanna tell him.

Anyway, he might have meant alot to you, but I suggest that you just see it as that. A good experience. Take the good memories you had with him, take them in, and see it as just another happening. He wasn't the One. Your mate is out there somewhere, but you might have to go through 100 other guys to find him, or you might find him right away. It's never easy to say. But just keep trying. And remain strong.

And if you really get frustrated and sad, just go and slice your ex-masters car-wheels :P