Born as Slave/Master?

[Oreo_here]

Ok,ok. I really don't know how to put this, but I will try my best.
You know how some people say sometimes how people are 'born Gay' and stuff, do you think that is the same for Masters and Slaves?
I know people whom would probably agree and say 'Yes, you're born Submissive' , or 'Yes I was born Dominant' etc etc. I was just wondering on your opinions.
Personally I submit to balance my own Paradox and such. I'm quite dominant by nature and personality, but like to submit and Serve etc etc.
What is your opinion on the issue?

[Dominantjohn]

For some I think it is part of their personality . . . you can't avoid it. For others however, I think it's a choice. For instance I knew one of my slaves who was dominant to most but when she met me was willing to give up control. It can be a conscience decision to submit to one, or to be accept a challenge. There is also betting sometimes (EG: I'll be your slave for a day if you beat me at this game) . . . so sometimes it's risk as well. Everyone has different reasons why they do or don't submit, and for each person the reason could very well be a different one.

[Oreo_here]

For some I think it is part of their personality . . . you can't avoid it. For others however, I think it's a choice. For instance I knew one of my slaves who was dominant to most but when she met me was willing to give up control. It can be a conscience decision to submit to one, or to be accept a challenge. There is also betting sometimes (EG: I'll be your slave for a day if you beat me at this game) . . . so sometimes it's risk as well. Everyone has different reasons why they do or don't submit, and for each person the reason could very well be a different one.

Aye, aye. I see your point there. I'm still not sure whether mine is by choice or personality yet though. It's strange. I have to be n the mood to Submit, or forced, other wise I'm just well. . . Hm, i'm not sure. Bitchy,Dominant, an a$$?
I don't know.

[TrekBoy008]

I think that the whole "nature vs. nurture" debate is a little too black and white. I feel that it's more a combination of both.

[TensionRoom101]

There's no simple answer. For some subs submission is the very core of who they are. They are incomplete without someone to guide their lives, and need that order to compensate for their own inner chaos. For many it's just a bit of kinkiness they can switch on and off, but who are ostensibly vanilla.

Even in the BDSM community there is a blinkeredness and failure to recognise the depth of it for many. On the Tension site at the moment we have a discussion from some students who want to get D/s recognised as a sexuality in their university- something which has strongly divided opinion.

A 'true gay' is probably born with that predisposition, but many others find themselves on that side of things as a result of previous negative experiences, or are just hedonistic fun seekers who'll try anything. Does that invalidate the other? Are they more or less gay than the genetic gays? Thing is, it doesn't really matter. People are people. There's well over 6 billion of us, and we all have our own answers.

I have had submissives who weren't born that way, but were bullied and neglected and had their self esteem beaten from them. Nothing genetic about that unless you adopt the Survival of the Fittest idiom. There are others who just want to be led around on a lead and flogged once a month at the club. Many others are depressives who use BDSM as self harm by proxy. The one thing they all have in common though is the spiritual sanctuary they find when they hit subspace.

I'll come back and post more later.

Mike

[SubMissChievous]

I have to go pretty much in the same direction as Dominantjohn & TensionRoom. I, too, believe that it really depends on each person because each have their own needs, desires & motives that lead them into D/s. Personally I think I'm most probably a "born" one as I clearly prefer when my submission steps out of a purely sexual context. It just wouldn't be complete without those rules & those rituals that were discussed in sum1(2)'s thread All Those Little Rituals.

Interestingly, all those who I've spoken to about this & tend in the same direction as me seem to have discovered their attraction for D/s quite young which leads me to believe that those who want it as a lifestyle are probably more "born" with it than those who keep it to the "bedroom" or on a more occasional way.

[Oreo_here]

[QUOTE TensionRoom101](There's no simple answer. For some subs submission is the very core of who they are. They are incomplete without someone to guide their lives, and need that order to compensate for their own inner chaos. For many it's just a bit of kinkiness they can switch on and off, but who are ostensibly vanilla.)


Aye, I know how that feels. I struggle when my Master is away, I mean really struggle, to the point I feel it as a suffocation. I think I would seriously fall or be broke with out him. But then again I have the aspect of me that if it did ever happen ad the worst came to the worst I guess I'd swollow it back and move on. The whole 'life' scenareo and what not, but I think I would always be a sub to the right person. And these days the 'right' person are in the minority catagory rater then the majority.

[Bandit|Queen]

I like to think of myself as being a strong person who doesn't need to rely on anyone else, which is true most of the time. I am normally the one people come to when they need help and support and I help pick up the pieces with them.

However when it comes to my submission it’s my release, my time to lean on someone else, have someone take the control and stress away for me. I enjoy that I give over the control to one person, trust them enough to look after me when I need it and I agree with xyoursxtrulyxleona when Master isn’t around I can feel a lost without his guiding hand and that one person to answer to and trust. There was a time when I had no contact with my Master and I craved the control I wasn’t getting at the time so went to seek it from elsewhere. So I guess I “need” the control.

So that is my very roundabout way of agreeing with that it is different for everyone and each person feels differently and thinks differently about their submission.

[johnny_c18]

If you read into BDSM, a lot of people have the theory that your "D/s personality" i.e. the role you take on when dominating or submitting is the equal and opposite of your real life social roles. It lies in the subconsciouses desire to do the forbidden, to take on the role of someone you would not normally have the chance to be. A lot of folks who are normally type "A" persons, with experience in being in charge, making decisions, etc. will find themselves preferring the submissive side. It stimulates whatever "pleasure centers" in their brain linked with their interpersonal relations to abandon their normal everyday life, and take on new responsibilities and actions.
Likewise with normally IRL submissives....they feel the urge to play out the things they are not "socially accepted" to do, as in giving orders, being in charge.

However, this is obviously not the only deciding factor. But I do believe that your personality forrealzies plays a pivotal role, and it could be mostly nuture as to which hat you wear.