Simple but easy (MxM)

CIA · 03-22-2011, 08:06 PM

Well my first time writeing so go ahead and criticize all you want, bad or good. This is a little Fiction Non-Fiction its kinda how me and my boyfriend became together I guess is the word I'll use. So should I go on with the story?

Chapter One

Hey man wake up! Will yelled wakeing me up from a dream

I'm up. I said sitting upright in my bed rubbing my eye's

Well I'm ready to go. Will opened up the shade to my bedroom window

Was that necessary! the sun came beaming in right on me blinding me

To get you up yes, I'll be downstairs. Will opened my bedroom door and raced down the woodden stairs

kid must be crack I thought as I was pulling on a plain light gray tee shirt and some no show under armor socks I was already wearing my orange shorts from last night, and made my way downstairs.

Once downstairs I found Will sitting on the black leather couch his wavy golden blonde hair fallen to whisp on his forehead, his pale blue eyes shining from the open window next to him, his noticeble small build you could see through his bluish gray tee shirt, and farther down wait a second am I cheking him out?

Hey you ready now? Will said shaking me out of my daze that seemed like slow motion.

Yeah, just need my shoes do you remember where I put them? I started walking around the house looking for them.

I don't, all is I remember is comeing home with you after the party because I was to lazy to walk home. Will said now helping look for my shoes.

Found them. I grunted bending over to pick them up.

We did leave the party before it was over. I said sliping my shoes on

Hey I'm not going to stay if there going to drink, and I seen you eyeing a glass. Will said now back on the couch.

I wasent going to drink any you should know me better than that. I said standing up

Sure, I do. Will said heading for my front door.

Do we have to show up for you sisters birthday. I said crossing my arms.

Dude its right across the street, all we have to do is show say hi to my mom, I'll grab a bag for a night over here, then we can come back, simple. Will explained to me

Fineee lets go then. I shut my front door and out into the blinding sunlight

gotdared · 03-23-2011, 11:46 AM

First off, welcome to getDare!!!

Anyway, this is a nice start to what seems to be a promising story! You put in a lot of detail which is always good. I also liked that you didn't tell us everything about the characters at first, but are developing them through thoughts.

A few tips:
-Longer chapters
-Read it to yourself a few times before posting to check for grammar and spelling
-Use "quotation marks" for dialouge and italics for thoughts

I look forward to reading more!

NoraazXD · 03-23-2011, 11:54 AM

gotdared, you took the words right outa my mouth.
But i agree, especially about using quotes. Otherwise, EPIC START!!!
Can't wait to find out more!

CIA · 03-23-2011, 02:36 PM

alright then I'll see what I can do.

pymani96 · 03-23-2011, 04:02 PM

I like the idea of your story, but you could use some speech marks. It would make it easier to read
Pymani

Ryann · 03-23-2011, 07:19 PM

This looks like a great beginning to a great story.

CIA · 03-23-2011, 07:50 PM

I'm going to write a section tonight and check and post it tomorrow.

Dylan xX · 03-23-2011, 07:51 PM

Sweet. Another MxM story.

gotdared hit it spot on. I can't really add much to that since it's only the first chapter.

Best of luck,

-Dylsterr

CIA · 03-23-2011, 08:09 PM

oh yeah and sense I wont really be describing myself in my story here you go
I think this is how most people do it

Me
Eye color:Green
Hair Color: Brownish like my picture
weight: 115
Height: 5'8
Skin Color: a light tan
Build: Small a little bit bigger than Will's

CIA · 03-24-2011, 08:07 PM

Sorry guys short one for now springbreak is next week so expect some long chapters proably wont be writeing over the weekend though but I will get on to check my account

-CIA

Chapter Two

I don't know why he said across the street when actualy Will's house is about a block away, and there was just a awkward silence between us all the way to his house.

"So do you just want to stay here" Will asked me but he already knew the awnser was yes

"yeah" I said leaning up against one of many pillars on the house

"Alright I'll be back in a sec" Will opened a screen door and walked into the party inside

I still wonder what happened between us, best friends through all of elementry, then all of the sudden boom 7th grade not one word between us same with 8th grade. Now one party last night and he drags me out of it, takes me home and now were friends again. I always figured that we just grew apart but now I think its more than that, maybe he was mad at me or something, but I dont know and I'm going to find out one way or another, I just need a plan or maybe a game.

"I'm ready" Will pushed open the screen door breaking me out of my daze

"Lets go then" I started to walk off of the porch and Will followed

I figured instead of a awkward silence I thought of things we used to like back when we were friends.

"So..." Will cut in my thinking

"What" I said still trying to think what to say

"Well if were going to sit at your house and say nothing to eachother, this is not going to be any fun" Will said now walking evenly next to me

I kept going over rumors I heard awhile back about him, I rember hearing he hangs around Michael and started acting like a jerk to everyone around him. Some of his old friends even started saying that he and Michael are gay toghter but that was just for fun.

"So do you have a girlfriend, havent talked to you much" Will was now listing and waiting for an awnser

"Nah, olny free time is in the summer, how about you" I tried to avoid the question

"Few here and there, hanging around Mike helps" Will started messing with his black sports whatch on his right arm

"Well then awnser me this, why in the hell did we stop being friends" Will said louder than I think he was planing but it caught me off gaurd

"I was going to ask you the same thing" I said kinda confused

"Well then lets stop not being friends" I said better now that I got that out

"Thats sweet" Will said

"Screw you" I said being playful Will just threw his arm around my shoulder

But now that I got him talking theres just one problem, he wont shut up.

NoraazXD · 03-24-2011, 08:23 PM

SO much better, man. Really looking good! I can't wait to see how they "renew" their friendship XD. Keep up the good work!

Jason242 · 03-25-2011, 07:35 AM

Great start. Look forward to reading the next chapter!

J

pymani96 · 03-25-2011, 09:11 AM

Much better. Please continue
Pymani

CIA · 03-25-2011, 07:46 PM

So it's Friday and I won't be home I'm writing off of my ipod so sorry don't expect any stories dont worry I'm crying myself. Also my bf likes the idea to!

Memories for Life · 03-25-2011, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CIA

So it's Friday and I won't be home I'm writing off of my ipod so sorry don't expect any stories dont worry I'm crying myself. Also my bf likes the idea to!

I thought that idea of writing a story from off an iPOD was weird the first time I heard someone doing it. Hearing someone else is also doing it and both are getDare stories??? The odds must be astronomical!

03-22-2011, 08:06 PM	#1
CIA Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 43	Simple but easy (MxM) Well my first time writeing so go ahead and criticize all you want, bad or good. This is a little Fiction Non-Fiction its kinda how me and my boyfriend became together I guess is the word I'll use. So should I go on with the story? Chapter One Hey man wake up! Will yelled wakeing me up from a dream I'm up. I said sitting upright in my bed rubbing my eye's Well I'm ready to go. Will opened up the shade to my bedroom window Was that necessary! the sun came beaming in right on me blinding me To get you up yes, I'll be downstairs. Will opened my bedroom door and raced down the woodden stairs kid must be crack I thought as I was pulling on a plain light gray tee shirt and some no show under armor socks I was already wearing my orange shorts from last night, and made my way downstairs. Once downstairs I found Will sitting on the black leather couch his wavy golden blonde hair fallen to whisp on his forehead, his pale blue eyes shining from the open window next to him, his noticeble small build you could see through his bluish gray tee shirt, and farther down wait a second am I cheking him out? Hey you ready now? Will said shaking me out of my daze that seemed like slow motion. Yeah, just need my shoes do you remember where I put them? I started walking around the house looking for them. I don't, all is I remember is comeing home with you after the party because I was to lazy to walk home. Will said now helping look for my shoes. Found them. I grunted bending over to pick them up. We did leave the party before it was over. I said sliping my shoes on Hey I'm not going to stay if there going to drink, and I seen you eyeing a glass. Will said now back on the couch. I wasent going to drink any you should know me better than that. I said standing up Sure, I do. Will said heading for my front door. Do we have to show up for you sisters birthday. I said crossing my arms. Dude its right across the street, all we have to do is show say hi to my mom, I'll grab a bag for a night over here, then we can come back, simple. Will explained to me Fineee lets go then. I shut my front door and out into the blinding sunlight

03-23-2011, 11:46 AM	#2
gotdared Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: USA Posts: 204 Blog Entries: 2	First off, welcome to getDare!!! Anyway, this is a nice start to what seems to be a promising story! You put in a lot of detail which is always good. I also liked that you didn't tell us everything about the characters at first, but are developing them through thoughts. A few tips: -Longer chapters -Read it to yourself a few times before posting to check for grammar and spelling -Use "quotation marks" for dialouge and italics for thoughts I look forward to reading more! __________________ 13/Male/USA/Gay My stories: The Game of Bets (MxM Non-Fiction) [FINISHED] It's About Love (LGBT Fiction) [DISCONTINUED] If you are ages 13-16 and want to play truth or dare, ask me anything, or just talk send me a PM! So much more than a best friend. <3 tumblr

03-23-2011, 11:54 AM	#3
NoraazXD Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Massachusetts, USA Posts: 151 Blog Entries: 1	gotdared, you took the words right outa my mouth. But i agree, especially about using quotes. Otherwise, EPIC START!!! Can't wait to find out more! __________________ 22/M/Gay/MA,USA Likes, Limits, and Toys: http://www.getdare.com/bbs/blog.php?b=73346 Give me dares (especially bondage!) and I'll write you a report! [email protected]

03-23-2011, 04:02 PM	#5
pymani96 getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: - Posts: 354	Pymani96 says... I like the idea of your story, but you could use some speech marks. It would make it easier to read Pymani

03-23-2011, 07:19 PM	#6
Ryann Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: USA Posts: 70	This looks like a great beginning to a great story. __________________ 18 / Male / USA. If you wanna chat PM me!

03-23-2011, 02:36 PM	#4
CIA Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 43	alright then I'll see what I can do.

03-23-2011, 07:50 PM	#7
CIA Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 43	I'm going to write a section tonight and check and post it tomorrow.

03-23-2011, 07:51 PM	#8
Dylan xX Distinguished Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: U.S.A Posts: 934 Blog Entries: 7	Sweet. Another MxM story. gotdared hit it spot on. I can't really add much to that since it's only the first chapter. Best of luck, -Dylsterr __________________ Gone

03-23-2011, 08:09 PM	#9
CIA Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 43	oh yeah and sense I wont really be describing myself in my story here you go I think this is how most people do it Me Eye color:Green Hair Color: Brownish like my picture weight: 115 Height: 5'8 Skin Color: a light tan Build: Small a little bit bigger than Will's

03-24-2011, 08:07 PM	#10
CIA Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 43	Sorry guys short one for now springbreak is next week so expect some long chapters proably wont be writeing over the weekend though but I will get on to check my account -CIA Chapter Two I don't know why he said across the street when actualy Will's house is about a block away, and there was just a awkward silence between us all the way to his house. "So do you just want to stay here" Will asked me but he already knew the awnser was yes "yeah" I said leaning up against one of many pillars on the house "Alright I'll be back in a sec" Will opened a screen door and walked into the party inside I still wonder what happened between us, best friends through all of elementry, then all of the sudden boom 7th grade not one word between us same with 8th grade. Now one party last night and he drags me out of it, takes me home and now were friends again. I always figured that we just grew apart but now I think its more than that, maybe he was mad at me or something, but I dont know and I'm going to find out one way or another, I just need a plan or maybe a game. "I'm ready" Will pushed open the screen door breaking me out of my daze "Lets go then" I started to walk off of the porch and Will followed I figured instead of a awkward silence I thought of things we used to like back when we were friends. "So..." Will cut in my thinking "What" I said still trying to think what to say "Well if were going to sit at your house and say nothing to eachother, this is not going to be any fun" Will said now walking evenly next to me I kept going over rumors I heard awhile back about him, I rember hearing he hangs around Michael and started acting like a jerk to everyone around him. Some of his old friends even started saying that he and Michael are gay toghter but that was just for fun. "So do you have a girlfriend, havent talked to you much" Will was now listing and waiting for an awnser "Nah, olny free time is in the summer, how about you" I tried to avoid the question "Few here and there, hanging around Mike helps" Will started messing with his black sports whatch on his right arm "Well then awnser me this, why in the hell did we stop being friends" Will said louder than I think he was planing but it caught me off gaurd "I was going to ask you the same thing" I said kinda confused "Well then lets stop not being friends" I said better now that I got that out "Thats sweet" Will said "Screw you" I said being playful Will just threw his arm around my shoulder But now that I got him talking theres just one problem, he wont shut up.

03-24-2011, 08:23 PM	#11
NoraazXD Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Massachusetts, USA Posts: 151 Blog Entries: 1	SO much better, man. Really looking good! I can't wait to see how they "renew" their friendship XD. Keep up the good work! __________________ 22/M/Gay/MA,USA Likes, Limits, and Toys: http://www.getdare.com/bbs/blog.php?b=73346 Give me dares (especially bondage!) and I'll write you a report! [email protected]

03-25-2011, 07:35 AM	#12
Jason242 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Ireland Posts: 137	Great start. Look forward to reading the next chapter! J __________________ 18/m/Eire Check out my story! An Amazing Weekend For 4 Boys -------------------------------------------------------- Likes: Online TorD, Roleplay, Underwear play, Exposure, Masturbate Maybe:Mild pain, Anal play Dislike: Scat, pee, Loud, Messy, Out of room/Public, Showing face Spoiler: I'll play TorD online with most people(Skype ONLY, and with webcam!). PM me your ASL and Skype name. :D

03-25-2011, 09:11 AM	#13
pymani96 getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: - Posts: 354	Pymani96 says... Much better. Please continue Pymani

03-25-2011, 07:46 PM	#14
CIA Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 43	So it's Friday and I won't be home I'm writing off of my ipod so sorry don't expect any stories dont worry I'm crying myself. Also my bf likes the idea to!