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Old 05-21-2010, 09:27 PM   #1
Torterra547
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Default A very sexy sleepover.(2 girls 2 guys)

Hi guys I'm new to this site but already love it and I'm thinking of writing a story myself, please post below this and tell me if you think I should. I am a great writer and love to write drama in class, I do so whenever I get the chance and I'm going to write a story about some of my fantasies with the girl I'm very much I. Love with
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Old 05-21-2010, 09:34 PM   #2
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If you like writting and you have an idea, then yes, you should write.
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Old 05-21-2010, 10:35 PM   #3
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I changed it to 2 girls 2 guys by the way,

I could not wait until the school bell rung as this weekend I was going over to my crushes house for a sleepover, I guess you could call me her secret admirer because she has no idea that I like her. Well I am going with my buddy and his girlfriend, his name is Jordan and his girlfriends name is Alisha, the only person that knows I like my crush, Ari, her name is, is Jordan, me and him have been best friends since grade four. All four of us are 12 years of age. And were all in the same class except for Jordan, he's across the hall from me. Now I'm almost 13 and will be in about a month and a half, and I have naturally light hair, like to talk alot and I have blue eyes. Alisha is black haired and has hazel eyes, she was an early developer and has fairly above normal size tits. She is also Swiss and one of Ari's bffs. Jordan is green eyed with a little bit of a build. He's only 5'3 though. And last but notxleast Ari, she has a gorgeous smile and very long legs, she has tits that don't need to be big, they just need to be hers, perfectly rounded, thoroughly,but
not completely developed. Now going back to reality. It was 3:25 and I was talkng to Jordan about what he thought was going to happen."I think things could get a little nasty. And I hope they do". Said Jordan as we walked out of the school. "do you think we should bring anything"? I asked as I eagerly nudged him to walk faster. " no I don't think so". He said,

I had just realized I forgot my books in the school washroom. When I went there they had dissapeared I guess. So I started looking In the stalls and just as I turned out to leave, I saw something fall out of a guys pocket as he walked out, I was going to tell him he dropped it but something told me not to. As I bent over to pick it up my heart skipped a beat,they were pictures of Ari! Nude in the changerooms the day we went on the swimming field trip, she looked like she was trying to cover up in the photo. I saw that they were original copies, there was 3 photos there two, all taken super fast before she could react. I wanted to catch up to that guy and ******* smash his ************* face into the wall for trying to blackmail my love. something stopped me though, I sat and thought, what can I do with these, I have 3 embarrasing photos, one of her just takig off her bra, one of her running toward a towel, and one that showed her desperately trying to cover up with the towel, All that fell out of a guys pocket.... I could easily get her to do anything I wanted! I could even get her to expose even more! I didn't know what to do, I couldent just leave them there, yet I didn't want her to do this out of blackmail. I couldent control it. My hormones and right from wrong, I was already starting to pre-cum after 1:30 of looking at those and trying to hold in an og, it was hard, I was letting out little squeaks every once in a while cuz I just couldent control the og(orgasm). I took them with me and i felt bad about it but I just couldent control it, I was disgusted in my self but sooooo horny at the same time, I couldent break the news to anyone so I decided to hide them in my backack and head over to ari's house
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Old 05-21-2010, 10:42 PM   #4
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How is that for first time guys, plz comment and rate out of 10
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Old 05-21-2010, 11:08 PM   #5
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The plot is promissing, but you could use some more editing. I would change few sentances at the begining. I won't rate it yet, I prefer to wait for some more.
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Old 05-22-2010, 07:56 AM   #6
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Default Yes I know but it's hard

Ya I know sorry about that man, I'm typing all of this out on an iPod so it dosent have spell check, I can't really edit unless I reread it all myself and find the mistakes and even then there's grammar, if my parents saw me doing this they'd probably ground me for life so I can't use the comp
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Old 05-22-2010, 10:29 PM   #7
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Right you guys m back with part 2 are you ready

As I walked to the sleepover I saw a girl just randomly walkig around, she looked clueless, or suspicious, one of the two. So out of curiousity I started following her and then she started runnig and bolted like a bear was chasing her or something! I tackled her to the ground in a back alley and patted her down quickly for a weapon. I asked her why she was acting to suspicious,she said it was me if anything that acted suspicious, and she thought I was going to hurt her, "I still think something wrong here" I said. "no, she said, I don't even know you, that's what scared me," " fin, I said, I was convinced that that was it and that maybe she was telling the truth, wierd, however though. When I got to Ari's house, Jordan was there but Alisha was no where to be found. I still had the blackmail photos in my bag, and I was still debatingxthe ultimate decision wether to use them o not. We had some salt and vinegar chips and waited, eventually alisha showed up. We wanted to go swimming in ari's pool so I got changed and so did everybody else, the girls got changed in the upstairs bathroom and me and Jordan got changed in the upstairs bathroom. When we went to the back though there was a note there, it was from ari's mom, " honey I'm sorry you can't swim today the pools being cleaned". It read. Awe everyones said, but we can still munch on cookies and play video games. Ya I guess, Alisha said. But I have a better idea,howzabout a game of truth or dare? Okay" Ari said. What about you guys? Ya I guess I will, I said know I hadTHE secret weapon. Okay, Alisha, yu go first. Ari said. Jordan said he really didn't want to play but still ended upjoining when the res of us agreed on playing , "okay , said Alisha, "Noah( thAt's my name if I forgot to mention that) truth or dare? My stomach gulped," ummm truth" I mumbled, "okay, said Alisha , doyou have intimate feelings about any1 in this room? My Heart stopped, "ummm , your both well looking, but actually no. My heart stopped at what Alisha said next!
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Old 05-22-2010, 10:33 PM   #8
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anybody read this story plz dot stop reading things get really good next chapter I just had to lay all that stuff out, is the last sentence an attention keeper? Plz comment and rate. Out of 10, more tomorrow be expecting guys!
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Old 05-23-2010, 07:01 AM   #9
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I like the story so far keep it up
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Old 05-23-2010, 11:16 AM   #10
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story is quite good, but your english and grammar is unbelievably bad
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Old 05-25-2010, 09:07 PM   #11
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I still like it alot despite its bad grammar, the story is catching and don't worry ppl are reading, great for being a newbie
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Old 05-25-2010, 09:49 PM   #12
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I still enjoy the story despite the bad grammer! Keep it up!!
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