SubDrops!!

[slutlikelilycarter]

I suffer Subdrops very frequently and am trying to come over it.
I don't know why but it overly depressed due to these.
I'm very new and curious this topic!

Hope everyone who could help me with this topic!!

For people who don't know a Subdrops is The temporary depression and/or helplessness experienced by submissives/masochists after intense BDSM play.

If you could answer some questions then it will be very useful for me.

1. How frequent do you feel Subdrops?
2. How do you feel when you suffering from subdrops? (for example you are not able to get up, feel depressed, feel guilty, etc.)
3. What do you do to overcome it?
4. Is there anyone to take aftercare? If yes, then how?
5. Any other information you want to provide.

Please tell me lots of things about it. I just want to overcome it. Can't bear these feelings for that short-time. It hurts like anything.

[kurious kat]

1. How frequent do you feel Subdrops?
   They usually come on for me when something disappointing happens (and it can be small, and unrelated, like being excited to get my favorite ice cream at the store and finding out they're out!) while I'm still a little giddy -- which can be 2-3 days afterwards -- and knocks me out of feeling warm and accomplished and safe. Sometimes I go for weeks or months without a drop. Sometimes, especially when play is more casual, I have little ones after the majority of my sessions. I have noticed that the more rare my drops are, the rougher they seem to be when they finally do happen.
2. How do you feel when you suffering from subdrops? (for example you are not able to get up, feel depressed, feel guilty, etc.)
   I feel discouraged, and often become self-accusatory (questioning why I would have done such apparently bizarre and/or unappealing things). I tell myself I don't deserve to feel better because of that (i.e.: I become depressed).
3. What do you do to overcome it?
   The best thing I can do for it is to give it time. I regularly remind myself that my body chemistry - that very same wonderful thing that made me feel so good earlier - is all scrambled, and that's why it's sending my brain these crazy signals now. It needs a day or two for my endorphins to reset. In the meantime, I try to find things to focus on that aren't about me at all so I can't wallow in it too long while I wait it out (detail work or physical labor that absorbs my concentration work well for this). I spend time with friends if I can arrange it - preferably friends who aren't so close I confess it all to in great depth. I pay attention to what I'm eating, and make a special effort to eat well (more fruits, fresh bread, healthy proteins, and a few quality sweets - but being careful not to binge on sugary stuff or eat much junk food!). If I can do yoga (or meditate), that also helps to quiet my mind and help me feel better about myself during these times. All of these are about trying to stabilize my internal chemistry and give my body and brain what they need to return to normal.
   I try to stay in touch with my dominant in a friendly (not necessarily kinky) way, and I find that trading notes once or twice during the day usually stabilizes me tremendously. I don't often tell them all about how I'm feeling (more on this below), but I like to chat in general to feel connected.
4. Is there anyone to take aftercare? If yes, then how?
   I find I mostly do my own aftercare - partly by necessity, since I don't have a live-in (or sometimes even local) partner for this. When my drop is particularly harsh, I long to be snuggled and comforted, but the truth is that I've done it enough to understand that even if my partner is willing, it won't always "fix" things, or could even make it worse -- because as soon as my partner leaves, I may feel alone and lost all over again, no matter how amazing they are. This is how my biochemistry works. I don't turn down snuggling, but I still also try to do all the things I listed above.
   In general, I remind myself gently that it feels bad, but experience tells me it should pass after 2 or 3 days at the most…and would I like to do something fun now, like see a classic movie, or walk in a favorite park, or bake cookies while I wait? These things don't make the bad feeling disappear, but they keep me from focusing too deeply on it - which DOES help me feel better.
5. Any other information you want to provide.
   Everyone has an individual experience, and may not find exactly the same things to be helpful. For me, reading about sub-drop, and the science behind it, helped me learn to intellectualize the experience, which allowed me to maintain a little emotional distance from what I was feeling at the time. You may find that other things help you to take care of yourself during the difficult drop period. It's definitely good to have friends to talk to about it (here or elsewhere), and also to remind yourself that you've felt this before - and that it will pass, if you can give it a tiny bit more time.
   Sub drop isn't just a mental or emotional phenomenon, but also a physical one, and it takes time for your body to re-settle after any intense experience. I wish you the best of luck with getting through your drops more smoothly as you continue.

[slutlikelilycarter]

It was super insightful and very impressive as well as interesting for me.
Thank you for such brilliant post.
It sure did help me alot.

Just a bump!
If anyone would like to comment or share anything about this!

[techiegirl]

How frequent do you feel Subdrops?
Depends entirely on how intense the scene was, my emotions throughout the day, and how I was treated once the scene ended. I've dropped out during the middle of scenes because something they said triggered me to snap out of subspace fast enough that I dropped.

How do you feel when you suffering from subdrops?
It varies as I'm already depressed, but I tend to become even more lethargic. I also blame myself for anything that has gone wrong recently. It's just not fun

What do you do to overcome it?
For me, I really just need a good cry. I've found that crying can help me calm down because I get all that anxiety and self loathing out of my system

Is there anyone to take aftercare? If yes, then how?
If you're a good Dominant, then you should provide aftercare. The problem is, sometimes I just want to be left alone. But once a scene is over, the dom needs to be reassuring, kind, and considerate. Do not bring up any kind of previous argument, don't tease me, don't embarrass me, and don't push me into doing something I'm not comfortable with.
Once a scene is over (for me at least) I need my dom to stop being a dom and be a friend

Any other information you want to provide.
If you're a dom trying to figure out why you're sub keeps dropping or what it all means, try talking to your sub. Ask them what they need directly after a scene. Advise them to drink some water. It's different for everyone, but you can never go wrong with some basic politeness.

If you're a sub and you're not sure why you keep dropping, it may have to do with the stress you feel from the day. Or maybe the scenes don't ease you in as much. Or maybe you don't get eased out as much.

Go with your gut and communicate with your play partner, but don't feel discouraged or at fault if you drop or someone you're with drops. It happens, just talk about it when emotions aren't as high and try to understand what is going on