Funny?

Underpants · 07-12-2016, 07:59 AM

Have you got any funny stories, jokes, incidents to share?

RiskyFlame · 07-12-2016, 12:31 PM

Knock, Knock...

bleonav06 · 07-12-2016, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RiskyFlame

Knock, Knock...

who's there?

PS this better be funny

RiskyFlame · 07-12-2016, 12:41 PM

Yoda Lady

Jaro · 07-12-2016, 12:42 PM

Without nipples, tits would be pointless!

RiskyFlame · 08-06-2016, 04:22 AM

Since nobody said "Yoda Lady who?", here the answer is.

Revive trainer card for this thread:

Runesmith · 08-06-2016, 07:43 AM

A woman runs a red traffic light and crashes into a man's car. Both of their cars are demolished, but amazingly, neither of them is hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says; "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man looks up and down the perfect sexy figure of the woman and replies, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." She then hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."

wolf82 · 08-06-2016, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Runesmith

A woman runs a red traffic light and crashes into a man's car. Both of their cars are demolished, but amazingly, neither of them is hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says; "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man looks up and down the perfect sexy figure of the woman and replies, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." She then hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."

lol this is a great one.

Runesmith · 11-19-2016, 05:00 AM

My psychiatrist just diagnosed me with sausageophobia.

I fear the wurst.

cooperjess · 11-19-2016, 05:25 AM

Jokes always remind me of my grandpa, bless him. I'll never forget the last words he ever said to me:

"Stop shaking the ladder, you bastard!"

Runesmith · 11-19-2016, 05:38 AM

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in an arrogant manner that he was a lawyer and threatened what would happen to her if she let them thaw out.

Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin; "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise his hand?"

Not one hand went up.......... So she took them home and ate them.

There are two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.

2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think.

little pet · 11-19-2016, 06:32 AM

A masochist is being punished by a sadist. "Please give me a beating to make up for my mistakes", the masochist says.

"Nope, I'm not going to..." says the sadist.

Runesmith · 11-19-2016, 06:46 AM

Today’s Short Reading From the Bible…

From Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth."

Then He made the earth round...and He laughed and laughed and laughed!

Runesmith · 11-19-2016, 09:56 AM

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
~Henry Cate, VII~

Jaro · 11-19-2016, 12:13 PM

What do the mafia and a vagina have in common?

Spoiler:

One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit!

07-12-2016, 07:59 AM	#1
Underpants getDare Sweetheart Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: UK Posts: 336 Blog Entries: 2	Funny? Have you got any funny stories, jokes, incidents to share?

07-12-2016, 12:31 PM	#2
RiskyFlame Longtime User Join Date: Mar 2014 Posts: 3,292 Blog Entries: 17	Knock, Knock... __________________ Still responsive to DMs here I've only really liked a handful of people in my life, and you've been two of them. —Hans Axgil—

07-12-2016, 12:41 PM	#4
RiskyFlame Longtime User Join Date: Mar 2014 Posts: 3,292 Blog Entries: 17	Yoda Lady __________________ Still responsive to DMs here I've only really liked a handful of people in my life, and you've been two of them. —Hans Axgil—

07-12-2016, 12:42 PM	#5
Jaro A filthy maggot anal whore Join Date: Jun 2016 Location: Netherlands Posts: 7,456 Blog Entries: 299	Without nipples, tits would be pointless! __________________ Worm owned by Princess Butterfly ♦ Likes & Limits ♦ Toys ♦ AMA ♦ Check out my truths and dares here

08-06-2016, 04:22 AM	#6
RiskyFlame Longtime User Join Date: Mar 2014 Posts: 3,292 Blog Entries: 17	Since nobody said "Yoda Lady who?", here the answer is. Revive trainer card for this thread: __________________ Still responsive to DMs here I've only really liked a handful of people in my life, and you've been two of them. —Hans Axgil—

08-06-2016, 07:43 AM	#7
Runesmith Stranger with candy Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Stuttgart, Germany Posts: 989 Blog Entries: 20	A woman runs a red traffic light and crashes into a man's car. Both of their cars are demolished, but amazingly, neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says; "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." The man looks up and down the perfect sexy figure of the woman and replies, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!" The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." She then hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police." __________________ Male, Straight, Dominant Likes: Anal (giving), rough play, CNC, bondage, humiliation, degradation, objectification, obedience training, online control Limits: scat, underage, playing with males; text speak To play with me, you must be able to prove your gender. Runesmith's Forgiveness thread - you're gonna need this My stories: Non-consensual Roleplay With a Stranger The Cabin in The Woods The Shanghai Girl Palace on The Beach My poems (yeah, poems): The Winter

11-19-2016, 05:00 AM	#9
Runesmith Stranger with candy Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Stuttgart, Germany Posts: 989 Blog Entries: 20	My psychiatrist just diagnosed me with sausageophobia. I fear the wurst. __________________ Male, Straight, Dominant Likes: Anal (giving), rough play, CNC, bondage, humiliation, degradation, objectification, obedience training, online control Limits: scat, underage, playing with males; text speak To play with me, you must be able to prove your gender. Runesmith's Forgiveness thread - you're gonna need this My stories: Non-consensual Roleplay With a Stranger The Cabin in The Woods The Shanghai Girl Palace on The Beach My poems (yeah, poems): The Winter

11-19-2016, 05:25 AM	#10
cooperjess Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2015 Location: UK Posts: 202 Blog Entries: 2	Jokes always remind me of my grandpa, bless him. I'll never forget the last words he ever said to me: "Stop shaking the ladder, you bastard!" __________________ Jess \| 22 \| Bi AMAB. back after a long hiatus, active occasionally(?) - msg me, if you like

11-19-2016, 05:38 AM	#11
Runesmith Stranger with candy Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Stuttgart, Germany Posts: 989 Blog Entries: 20	A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in an arrogant manner that he was a lawyer and threatened what would happen to her if she let them thaw out. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin; "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise his hand?" Not one hand went up.......... So she took them home and ate them. There are two lessons here: 1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are. 2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think. __________________ Male, Straight, Dominant Likes: Anal (giving), rough play, CNC, bondage, humiliation, degradation, objectification, obedience training, online control Limits: scat, underage, playing with males; text speak To play with me, you must be able to prove your gender. Runesmith's Forgiveness thread - you're gonna need this My stories: Non-consensual Roleplay With a Stranger The Cabin in The Woods The Shanghai Girl Palace on The Beach My poems (yeah, poems): The Winter

11-19-2016, 06:32 AM	#12
little pet getDare Succubus Join Date: May 2016 Location: Under Sir's thumb Posts: 1,572 Blog Entries: 85	A masochist is being punished by a sadist. "Please give me a beating to make up for my mistakes", the masochist says. "Nope, I'm not going to..." says the sadist. __________________ Female, 35, bi pet happily owned by Sir Sam My DIY thread My stories My Art My Blog Toys I own Likes: Humiliation, gags, anal, clamps, hidden public, spanking, cornertime, bondage, pet play, denial, messy. Dislikes: Pacifier, nettles, crotchropes, toothpaste, atm, pee control, line writing, tack bra and panties, ice cubes. Limits: scat, pictures/video, family, public

11-19-2016, 06:46 AM	#13
Runesmith Stranger with candy Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Stuttgart, Germany Posts: 989 Blog Entries: 20	Today’s Short Reading From the Bible… From Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth." Then He made the earth round...and He laughed and laughed and laughed! __________________ Male, Straight, Dominant Likes: Anal (giving), rough play, CNC, bondage, humiliation, degradation, objectification, obedience training, online control Limits: scat, underage, playing with males; text speak To play with me, you must be able to prove your gender. Runesmith's Forgiveness thread - you're gonna need this My stories: Non-consensual Roleplay With a Stranger The Cabin in The Woods The Shanghai Girl Palace on The Beach My poems (yeah, poems): The Winter

11-19-2016, 09:56 AM	#14
Runesmith Stranger with candy Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Stuttgart, Germany Posts: 989 Blog Entries: 20	The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~Henry Cate, VII~ __________________ Male, Straight, Dominant Likes: Anal (giving), rough play, CNC, bondage, humiliation, degradation, objectification, obedience training, online control Limits: scat, underage, playing with males; text speak To play with me, you must be able to prove your gender. Runesmith's Forgiveness thread - you're gonna need this My stories: Non-consensual Roleplay With a Stranger The Cabin in The Woods The Shanghai Girl Palace on The Beach My poems (yeah, poems): The Winter

11-19-2016, 12:13 PM	#15
Jaro A filthy maggot anal whore Join Date: Jun 2016 Location: Netherlands Posts: 7,456 Blog Entries: 299	What do the mafia and a vagina have in common? Spoiler: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit! __________________ Worm owned by Princess Butterfly ♦ Likes & Limits ♦ Toys ♦ AMA ♦ Check out my truths and dares here