Fake or Real? What Do You Think?

[viterz72]

So I posted in the slave/master area looking for a mistress. One potential mistress responded and here is part of the conversation we had. I want to know if you all think I was being unreasonable or if she wasn't real. Any feedback will be appreciated.

So the conversation started and she was at work. In my post I said that whoever responds must be able to prove they are a woman. She didn't want to send pictures because of how she looked in her uniform so I said that was fine and I would start doing tasks for her when she got home and was able to send photos. She wasn't to happy about this but eventually she got home and sent me one photo. Here is the conversation from that point on.....

"Photo of Mistress"
Mistress: Well that turned out horrible

Me: I still think it is beautiful. Can you send one more holding 3 fingers up?

Mistress: ?WTF

Me: Please?

Mistress: No I am not feeding into your paranoia, next you will be asking me to hold up a sign or stand on one foot. I'm a F*****g mistress not a slave and I will not degrade myself by giving into a sissy slave F***. I'm clearly not the mistress you are looking for.

Me: Ok it's disappointing but that's life. I hope you find what you are looking for

Mistress: I will. It's simple a f*****g slave who knows his place

Me: Not sure why you are mad. I clearly said prove you are a woman in my post and sending one photo doesn't do that. And chances are you are fake because real people don't get this angry.

Mistress: I'm not angry I just don't like being called fake or people wasting my time. I'm trying to become a better domme and practice my skills.

Me: Every mistress I had a good relationship with didn't mind sending multiple photos. The ones who i found out were fake kept making excuses and got angry. A mistress should make their slave feel safe and you aren't willing to do that for me.

Mistress: I reward my slave with photos when I feel like it. You're in no danger haha so what sense of security do you need? I'm open to talking aside from play, not many fakes would do that.

Me: I just want to be 100% positive I'm doing this stuff for a woman and not a man. I think that's reasonable.

Mistress: But if you think I am fake, again sorry not the mistress for you

Me: Sending 2 photos is such an effortless task to ask when I am willing to send any video you want doing humiliating things for your amusement.

Mistress: It's not effortless, it is demanding. I get it if you don't trust me that is fine, that's your business. But I am not going to be held to standards because fake people messaged you.

Me: It is effortless. It will take 5 seconds. Trust is earned. You don't trust random people you meet on the internet sorry. You're making this into a huge deal when it was a simple request.

Mistress: You are posting in a public forum to be degraded... do you know how ridiculous you sound hah. I'm not making it into a huge thing. I am explaining my point just as you are... It's called a conversation. So as I said I am not the mistress for you so no worries. Have fun bye bye.

Me: Bye

[BT001]

Yeesh, she sounds like...
Well, like someone who I wouldn't want as a Mistress.
You were being completely reasonable, don't worry about it.

[cooperjess]

Not to say that people who don't send photos are frauds - cause they're not - but yeah, sending one photo and flying off the handle at another one is pretty sus to me.

[Lacram]

Me: Ok it's disappointing but that's life. I hope you find what you are looking for

That's where the conversation should have ended.

[KittenLicks]

You could always try a reverse image search on the photo, that's what I tend to do when I'm suspicious.

But yeah, someone that thinks asking for proof of their identity is indicative that you don't "know your place" doesn't sound like someone you'd want as a mistress anyway. :P

[SwitchPhil]

There should be no problem at all to send one live picture via kik or whatever. Face is not even needed...We are talking about a slave/mistress relationship so TRUST SHOULD BE COMMON.

I once met somebody who always wanted pic/vids with face everytime. That was very uncomfortable. I never got a live pic from him/her so I cancelled it.

Mistresses are very rare sadly, or at least rare to have. Sometimes You just have to wait for a long time, just like me, I'm waiting for ages now x)

[IceMaiden]

I can understand not wanting to send pictures, even one like the one you asked for as when my Dom and I first started our relationship I refused to send any pictures at all, no matter how vanilla. I'm more confident now so send him lots as well as random ones I may share to friends or on KT etc, but that's not to say everyone is.

I can also understand (and agree) with the comment about not being held to standards because of others' lies. That really is infuriating for many genuine females. However, her not wanting to send this picture isn't what concerns me. What concerns me is this:

Mistress: No I am not feeding into your paranoia, next you will be asking me to hold up a sign or stand on one foot. I'm a F*****g mistress not a slave and I will not degrade myself by giving into a sissy slave F***. I'm clearly not the mistress you are looking for.

There is absolutely no need for that attitude towards you. She doesn't want to do it? Fine, her choice. But it's rude to react like that. What's wrong with being an adult and saying no I am not willing to do that?

Mistress: I will. It's simple a f*****g slave who knows his place

Anyone with half a brain is aware that just because someone identifes as a slave, it doesn't make them a puppet. Unless that's what you have agreed on, but as you mention you'd only just started talking and had done no tasks yet, I don't think this was agreed on by either of you. You have every right to question or raise concerns, regardless of what role you identify as. If you can't do it without this sort of reaction right at the start what's it going to be like further into the relationship?

Mistress: You are posting in a public forum to be degraded... do you know how ridiculous you sound hah. I'm not making it into a huge thing. I am explaining my point just as you are... It's called a conversation. So as I said I am not the mistress for you so no worries. Have fun bye bye.

She sounds ridiculous to assume she can talk to you like this and react the way she has when you haven't even entered a relationship yet and so have not agreed to GIVE her your submission.

I have no idea if the reaction was because she was real or fake. But if she is real, considering all of the other red flags you had a lucky escape anyway.

[Lacram]

Originally Posted by SwitchPhil

There should be no problem at all to send one live picture via kik or whatever. Face is not even needed...We are talking about a slave/mistress relationship so TRUST SHOULD BE COMMON.

I once met somebody who always wanted pic/vids with face everytime. That was very uncomfortable. I never got a live pic from him/her so I cancelled it.

Mistresses are very rare sadly, or at least rare to have. Sometimes You just have to wait for a long time, just like me, I'm waiting for ages now x)

Since "trust should be common", why do you not trust them to be female?

Also, trust is established over a long period of time - expect everyone to send you very intimate pictures right off the bat and you will have a hard time finding a domme. Don't judge others by your own standards and demand that they send photos since it "should be no problem at all".

Last but not least, barely anyone on here needs you to write in a huge font to understand your words.

[MeisterRebus]

Proof pictures can come in many ways, they don't have to be nudes. I think whoever this mistress is could need a lesson in behaviour. Unfortunately style, education and a minimum of good manners go down the drain and yes, I encounter this too. Slaves disappearing in the middle of a conversation for example. Would you do this in real life? Is it so hard to say "Thank you and good bye?" Or the famous one word messages - "Hi"... I am always tempted to answer "Yes? And?"

But looking at your conversation I would say - you did the right thing. If your innermost feeling tells you "move on!" you should listen. A d/s relationship is built on trust, communication, dedication and passion. I couldn't detect any of those in your 'mistress' messages.

[lotusdriver81]

Sounds like a fake. The reaction says it all. Complete over reaction to a very simple request. You can’t act like that with people you don’t even know. And shouldn’t react like that with people you do know. Unless that’s what has been agreed before hand.

If she is real (unlikely) then she’s a very bad dom.

[KittenLicks]

IceMaiden has a lot of great points.

Originally Posted by IceMaiden

I can understand not wanting to send pictures, even one like the one you asked for as when my Dom and I first started our relationship I refused to send any pictures at all, no matter how vanilla. I'm more confident now so send him lots as well as random ones I may share to friends or on KT etc, but that's not to say everyone is.

Not to derail the thread, but I'm curious as to why some people don't like sending vanilla pictures. Is it an irrational 'what if they somehow figure out my identity from the picture' worry, or just shyness or what?

Not that I'm saying people can't refuse to send 'normal' pictures (if something's a limit, I'm not going to press on it with a sub) but I'm just curious as to what is going on in the head of someone that refuses to.

[Jaro]

I agree with what IceMaiden said about the pictures. Nobody should be required to send pictures if that makes them uncomfortable. I wouldn't send my picture to a potential mistress when we only just started chatting. If you chat with each other long enough you should be able to get plenty of confidence that the person you are talking to is who they say they are.

But her attitude, the use of all these swear words right of the bat? No way José! I would have broken off that conversation much sooner. I would want someone who can properly communicate like a respectful adult, not like that.

[SwitchPhil]

Originally Posted by Lacram

Since "trust should be common", why do you not trust them to be female?

Also, trust is established over a long period of time - expect everyone to send you very intimate pictures right off the bat and you will have a hard time finding a domme. Don't judge others by your own standards and demand that they send photos since it "should be no problem at all".

Last but not least, barely anyone on here needs you to write in a huge font to understand your words.

Why should I trust a random person that sends me tasks and wants vid proof with face? The world is filled with alot of fakers and douchebags. Intimate pictures? I'm not talking about intimate pictures. I'm talking about a simply full clothed live picture without face. Why should I even demand a nude picture from my mistress? I should always have a reason to trust people. And I trust people as soon as I know they trust me too. And thats proofen by long term relationships as you said and live pictures.

Every mistress I met via kik, acted like it should be no problem for me to instantly send live vids and pictures while they barely do anything to let me think "this must be a female".

My standard is starting to know each other and have a normal conversation. As soon as both feel comfortable, swap live pictures without face and maybe soon enough more. Maybe You understood me wrong.

Yes I highlighted it, because its super important.

[Lacram]

Why should I trust a random person that sends me tasks and wants vid proof with face? The world is filled with alot of fakers and douchebags.

You shouldn't, it's that simple. Why should they trust you enough to send any pictures, though?
Even pictures of them fully clothed are intimate to some. I do agree that no one should demand lots of videos and pictures without sending some themselves.

[RiskyFlame]

Regardless of whether she is really a female or secretly a male, (s)he seems like a bad dom(me). People who get angry on Kik mostly have something to hide, especially when you stay polite and they still continue raging on.

Yes, you (viterz72) are probably right. (S)he is probably not a female. I mean, sending a PG picture and not willing to send a second PG picture because you are still unsure of her sex is suspicious. But by having experienced this problem that you created yourself actually, you learned something.

Whenever you ask for a picture to prove the sex of that person, be very specific what you want to see in that picture. Furthermore, don't give them time to search for such a specific picture on the internet by waiting hours but be sure they can send the picture right after you told which specific details must be in the picture.

Because it's the first picture, you don't have any reference material so they can just find a picture on the internet when you request "three fingers in the air" as specific details. Instead, you can ask her to send a picture in which she, for example; folds her hands with her left hand's pinky up and her right hand's middle finger and thumb up.

Originally Posted by viterz72

[...]
My main requirement is that you can prove you are a woman to me (No that doesn’t mean you have to send nudes).
[...]

Furthermore, excuses like "I am not comfortable with sending pictures" as the dom(me) is bullshit because you wrote "prove you are a woman" in your M/s advertisement. With practice, men can sound like women so an audio file isn't 100% proof. So the option left is visual proof: pictures. Although, there is a third option: references. But even then, some just want to see the proof for themselves rather than believe others. So this paragraph in short: don't reply to "must send proof of sex" M/s ads when you are not willing to prove your sex.

Also, I feel like this thread is headed towards the discussion about people not having the right to ask/demand a picture. Personally, I don't care about such rights and politically correct answers. People have the right to ask a picture of someone and if they don't want to send a picture then either they both continue talking after they both accepted this answer or you end the conversation.