Old 12-25-2012, 06:31 PM   #1
Beautifulsub
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Default What do I do?

I'm new to this lifestyle and I love it. I feel complete now. My master is amazing and way too good for me. I try to do anything and everything to please him and I usually succeed. Tonight he ordered a picture of me in the nude. I did as I was told. He got angry because he thought it was a gallery photo. It wasn't and I told him so. I accepted and carried out my punishment as I was told because I will do anything for my master. He said he was still disappointed with me.
I can't bare the thought of my master being unhappy. What do I do?

So confused
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Old 12-25-2012, 06:38 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beautifulsub View Post
He got angry because he thought it was a gallery photo.
You mean he thought it wasn't really you, that you downloaded it from somewhere? He can have you write something unique on paper, or even your own body, to prove it wasn't a downloaded photo of someone else.

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Originally Posted by Beautifulsub View Post
I will do anything for my master.
Just make sure to stay firm on your limits. Very important for safety, as even the most vigilant masters and slaves can get carried away from time to time.
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Old 12-25-2012, 06:45 PM   #3
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If trust is lost over such an act, you are too good for him and move on.
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Old 12-25-2012, 06:45 PM   #4
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Look, it's visible that you are new to the lifestyle. Get rid of the master, or at the very least have a very, very serious talk with him. Love and trust are important aspects of every 24/7 full control BDSM relationship, which it seems to me that you have. If he doesn't trust you, than all other parts are futile.
I understand the way you fell right now. He's probably the first master you've ever had. But I will ask you to remember the first boyfriend you had. You probably also thought that he's the best, and that only he can fulfill you. And than you found out he wasn't the only one, and probably wasn't the best one, either.
You must be your own priority. Never, ever, put anyone, including your master, in front of yourself. I understand that this is a minor situation, but in a relationship that involves so much power exchange, even a minor incident is serious. You must be able to trust your master with your life. And, what's more important, he must be able to trust you with his.
I can't give you specific advice on what to do. It's really... up to you. You could just send him a photo of yourself with something he required written on it, but that would be avoiding the real problem of the situation. There are many... much, much to many wannabe masters out there. Those that do not understand what BDSM is about. Make sure that your master isn't one of those.
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Old 12-25-2012, 06:55 PM   #5
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Old 12-25-2012, 07:06 PM   #6
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Thanks guys, I just want to show that I would never do anything to displease him. It just hurts that he punished me when I did nothing wrong
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Old 12-25-2012, 07:10 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Beautifulsub View Post
Thanks guys, I just want to show that I would never do anything to displease him. It just hurts that he punished me when I did nothing wrong
We all know that. We also know that mental pain hurts much more than physical. Let yourself be controlled, if you want, but never let yourself be bullied.
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Old 12-25-2012, 08:21 PM   #8
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It sucks and it hurts everyone when an asshole pulls this shit, it give others in this life stile a bad name and the trauma it deals to the sub can be lethal
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Old 12-25-2012, 09:44 PM   #9
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I'm not an expert by any means, but I'm going to give you the best advice I can as I've personally been in this situation myself. I didn't talk to my Dominant about it, but I was very confused and know where you are coming from.

I agree with others who have said that you could write something on a piece of paper or on yourself and take a picture that way. Another way to do this task, as long as its not a limit or as long as you have the equipment, is to appear briefly on cam. Not more than a few seconds, just so he can see your face.

You didn't do anything wrong at all, so don't think for a minute that you have. (as long as you didnt, in fact, download the image and send him a fake one.) If anything, your Master was in the wrong for punishing you when you did something that he asked. I know it can be very disappointing to see your Master unhappy. And at first, when your Master hasn't seen you much, the level of trust isn't there that comes from a longer-lasting relationship.

Being a new submissive, you probably believe that as long as its not stated in your limits, you HAVE to do whatever your Master asks of you. And while you shouldn't deny doing the tasks he gives you when you're simply in a bad mood, if you have serious doubts or problems with something he has asked, TALK TO HIM! Communication is KEY to any relationship, even more so in a D/s based one. This was the first mistake that I made myself when I first started out. Luckily, I didn't have a "wannabe" Dom or a Dumbinant. But now, if I have serious qualms about ANYTHING (even something as simple as just feeling embarrassed about doing something) I talk to him right away about it, even if we are in mid-session. And he usually reassures me and offers an alternative if I seriously don't want to do something for a legitimate reason.

If he is disappointed with you, then that is something that he needs to work through himself. Just go on doing what you are doing for him. If he can't see the wonderful submissive that he is responsible for "trying hard enough", then you're too good to be his submissive and should search elsewhere.

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to PM me. Or if you would prefer the point of view from a mod, don't hesitate to PM Star Shadows, Nellybell, Redhead18, or Rachie. They offer you the best advice they can. And the advice they have to give is valuable, as they have been on the site for a long time, and have literally seen it all on here. Good luck to you

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Old 12-26-2012, 12:36 AM   #10
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All the answers previously given in this thread are relevant to the situation you describe.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Beautifulsub View Post
Thanks guys, I just want to show that I would never do anything to displease him. It just hurts that he punished me when I did nothing wrong
I want to react on the quote above, out of its context:

It is the masters/mistresses prerogative to punish you whenever he/she desires to do so, for whatever reason.
The master/mistress is always right, even when he/she is wrong.


Back to subject:
There is always Monty Python: Look on the bright side of life. If he thinks your picture is to beautiful to be real, isn't that an enormous compliment?
Some slaves get punished for being fat; you get punished for being beautiful. What is the difference?
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Old 12-26-2012, 01:56 AM   #11
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as long as you know in your mind it real and no fake then that the main thing
i might be just the picture (maybe he was hoping for some else(depend what your doing in the photo) or was not what he was expecting) talk to him about it if doesnt want to then you got to coices ether forget about it and move on or tell him he not right for you and find someone else
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Old 12-26-2012, 02:23 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by b0ris View Post
It is the masters/mistresses prerogative to punish you whenever he/she desires to do so, for whatever reason.
The master/mistress is always right, even when he/she is wrong.
Bullshit, there are relationships that work like that, and that is fine. But to see that as general rule is wrong in so many regards.
If it was not clear and wanted from both sides that a punishment is given for undeserved things (making the punishment pointless after all) this punishment can be very disturbing for a submissive that has as main goal to please as good as she can.
A Master should be aware of the psychological effects these things have on a sub, and be very clear what was wrong and explain it, in detail. Especially with someone new to this.
And masters make failures! We are human ...

To Beautifulsub:
To answer your question fully i would need to know more about how your dynamic works, but i agree with some general ideas others have mentioned.

Talk with your master about it. Tell him that this punishment disturbed you and that you did not understand it.
Maybe he is not aware of the fact that you did not understand it.
Maybe he thinks like Boris and you two need to adjust your dynamic, in the way that you understand that he will punish you for no real reason beside of being a mean, and if that does not work for you that you have to maybe split.
As you are new there is also the option you never talked about exactly how the dynamic works for you, then you should do that. Make clear to him that you accept punishments if you did something wrong but that he has to be clear about what was wrong and that he makes sure you actually did something wrong. That does not mean he cant order you "funishments" but that he needs to be clear to separate these mentally from "you disappointed me".

If he is not ready to talk about it or get angry about it, leave... i know that is hard and i know you don't want that, but M/s is not about abusing a person, it is about fulfilling the needs of all parties involved. A master that is not able or willing to listen to you is not worth the title.
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Old 12-26-2012, 04:00 AM   #13
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I am basically going to sound like I'm repeating what everyone else said above.

We can't really tell you exactly what to do, because we don't exactly know how the relationship between you and your "Master" is.

From my personal experience however, I believe you need to sit him down and have a talk with him. Not only did he not trust you, but wantonly punished you. Now the thing is, he could've double checked, asked for you to write something on a piece of paper or your body, but he just decided to punish you.Physical punishment aside, he hurt you emotionally. Mental punishment is far more harsher and sever, and he dished it out like a pedophile handing candy out his van.

This implies a few things, and here is where I'll get judgmental and may be probably wrong, but still:

1) He isn't exactly aware of how much you care for him and how attached you are, so he thinks nothing of it when he says he is disappointed in you. Little does he know that this hurts you the most, as would any Master who knows their sub. Judgement: He is a shitty Dom.

2) He was trying to guilt trip you on purpose, for reasons unknown. Judgement: Shitty Dom.

3) He may have just slipped up, had a bad day and then just reacted inappropriately. In that case, you need to remind him that this relationship is important to you, and your feelings are riding on it. As a sub or slave, you are still granted some rights, and you should stand up for them. Like someone said earlier "You can be controlled, but you can't be bullied".

And that's the way I see things. You gotta talk to him about it, and see his reaction. Remember that he isn't the only one out there, and that he may not be the best one. People have their faults, granted, but you should stand up for yourself a bit more.
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Old 12-26-2012, 04:01 AM   #14
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It's just plain rubbish to think that a Master can do whatever they feel, it is their duty to consider what is best for their submissive as well as their own desires. As Merlin says there are relationship that exist like this but in my experience they are rarely healthy ones, to punish a submissive whether she deserves it or not would not only confound the poor sub but it also sets an unnerving precedent where a sub can pour her heart into pleasing and still be punished and left feeling like she wasn't good enough.

The long term psychological impacts of which can leave them with very little self worth and confidence -- personally I see this as abuse and a failing on what should be every dominants primary concern the health, safety and well being of their most precious possession.

Nobody is infallible and if you ever meet a dom who tells you they've never made a mistake then I urge you to run a mile, such arrogance will put you in harms way and that's not a lottery you should be playing.

Apologies - Rant over


To help beautiful sub I would agree with the advice Merlin has offered, none of us here know fully what was said between the two of you, there is no magic blueprint for how a dom/sub relationship should work as every one is truly unique. It might be he is fairly new to the lifestyle too and in over eagerness to punish he hasn't considered how you feel, it could be a million different things.

All you can do is talk with your master and explain to him how it's left you feeling as the pic really was of you - if he truly cares for you then he will want to listen and understand how you feel, if he doesn't then I'd ask you to consider how is he going to make the best decisions for you when he has no regard for your thoughts and feelings?

To offer any more advice than that I'd need to know a lot more about his level of experience, age, your relationship, etc and I'd still be guessing and making assumptions. So all I can say is trust in your judgement, be inquisitive and ask why when you aren't sure -- you're human at the end of the day and you want to learn too
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Old 12-26-2012, 12:06 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MysticalMadness View Post
I'm not an expert by any means, but I'm going to give you the best advice I can as I've personally been in this situation myself. I didn't talk to my Dominant about it, but I was very confused and know where you are coming from.

I agree with others who have said that you could write something on a piece of paper or on yourself and take a picture that way. Another way to do this task, as long as its not a limit or as long as you have the equipment, is to appear briefly on cam. Not more than a few seconds, just so he can see your face.

You didn't do anything wrong at all, so don't think for a minute that you have. (as long as you didnt, in fact, download the image and send him a fake one.) If anything, your Master was in the wrong for punishing you when you did something that he asked. I know it can be very disappointing to see your Master unhappy. And at first, when your Master hasn't seen you much, the level of trust isn't there that comes from a longer-lasting relationship.

Being a new submissive, you probably believe that as long as its not stated in your limits, you HAVE to do whatever your Master asks of you. And while you shouldn't deny doing the tasks he gives you when you're simply in a bad mood, if you have serious doubts or problems with something he has asked, TALK TO HIM! Communication is KEY to any relationship, even more so in a D/s based one. This was the first mistake that I made myself when I first started out. Luckily, I didn't have a "wannabe" Dom or a Dumbinant. But now, if I have serious qualms about ANYTHING (even something as simple as just feeling embarrassed about doing something) I talk to him right away about it, even if we are in mid-session. And he usually reassures me and offers an alternative if I seriously don't want to do something for a legitimate reason.

If he is disappointed with you, then that is something that he needs to work through himself. Just go on doing what you are doing for him. If he can't see the wonderful submissive that he is responsible for "trying hard enough", then you're too good to be his submissive and should search elsewhere.

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to PM me. Or if you would prefer the point of view from a mod, don't hesitate to PM Star Shadows, Nellybell, Redhead18, or Rachie. They offer you the best advice they can. And the advice they have to give is valuable, as they have been on the site for a long time, and have literally seen it all on here. Good luck to you

~MysticalMadness
Everything that Mm said, and most others in fact.

I know where his thought's are coming from thinking that it is a 'gallery shot' downloaded from online, I've had many fakers, my trust tested time and again to the point where I don't trust a new submissive is who they say they are.
He should of asked you to re-take it with you're user name written on you, or something like that, that would of taken care of it simply, there was no reason to punish you.
Perhapse he made a rash mistake, but, if he'll jump like this at something so small before thinking or a way to solve it so that he know's the truth, then you may be better looking else where for another dom/master.

You always need to be wary of that sign of aggression, it's something hard to pick out, but it could lead to a rather bad relation ship, or something that generally won't last that long, if he's not willing to think for a moment.

You need to have a long discussion with him, if he refuse's or tries to change the subject, then just tell him 'you've failed to show me the proper respect you should have' and maybe a bit more depending on what feels right, it'll be a bit harsh, but, it'll put him in his place, then just walk away from him and search again.

Just don't jump at the first flower in the garden, take you're time, and only pick the most fragrant.




And MM does not like to dance :P hehe
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