[Non-Fiction] balloon decorated with an EVIL GF

[kinkidare]

A GF of mine really enjoys putting me in embarrassing situations.

We are also quite kinky and have many different toys available to play with. One of our faves is balloons. In the course of experimenting, we/she discovered that she could take a standard small balloon, uninflated, and pinching the rolled end mouthpiece together and turning it sideways in her fingers, insert the mouthpiece end of the balloon into the end of my penis. Then, by giving the remaining pinched mouthpiece of the balloon (which is only just barely sticking out of my urethra) a little poke with a q tip the rolled mouthpiece of the balloon is pushed completely inside of my penis. Once inserted the balloon neck orients and seats itself into the end of my penis exactly like it would between a persons lips when it is being blown up.

Once in place, the balloon takes a good tug to pull out of my penis. If I try to pee with it in place like that, it actually fills/inflates the balloon. Well, we then learned that if I hold the end of a small diameter air hose which is attached to a small hand squeeze pump, right at the point where the neck of the balloon comes out of my penis and squeeze the pump, it will inflate both my urethra and the balloon at the same time and to the same pressure. It feels totally wild and looks quite cool. When the pump tube is removed, the rubber neck of the balloon seals to the skin and leaves the balloon inflated nicely at the end of my penis.

She was delighted when she saw how that looked, and learned how to inflate the balloon like that! I was and still am often asked to "wear" a balloon around in private, for her amusement. Usually, she only inflates the balloon to a moderate but size, but has inflated them nearly to the popping point. Her opinion is that having me wandering around naked is lots more fun if I am "decorated" with a colorful balloon at the end of my dick. Plus, she likes being able to bat it around, or threaten to pop it, to tease me. O.o

Anyway, for the most embarrassing moment:

I was naked and "wearing" a balloon around the house early one evening, and she decided to DARE me to go outside into my reasonably secluded back yard, and walk to the back fence then turn around and return. OK, I am usually up for a dare, so agreed. As I was going out, she said "wait, I want it bigger!" I stopped and let her apply the pump, and she pumped the bright blue balloon up as tightly as it could possibly go. The balloon was very full, probably close to 12 inches long and 6 inches across. Of course with the attention and stimulation, my dick was fully hard as well, and just walking to the back door caused the balloon to wiggle and bob up and down wildly.
She held the door open and I walked out, taking a quick look around to be sure nobody was watching.

I then walked deliberately to the far back fence and turned around and walked back. No problemo! Only to find...

She had CLOSED and LOCKED the door!!! And she was standing at the back door window laughing her ass off!

I stopped and made a pleading motion to her and asked her to PLEASE let me in! Through her laughter, she held up her arm and pointed at her wristwatch and held up five fingers. I was mortified!! I made a pleading motion to her again and she just shook her head NO!. OMG

All I could do was stand there waiting to be let back in! The longest five minutes of my life! The porch light was off, but the kitchen light shining out the back door window was lighting up the back porch pretty brightly as I stood there facing the door.

It got WORSE...

As she dropped her fingers one at a time and I mentally counted off the time standing on the back porch watching her laughing, about the time I had somewhere around a minute to go, I happened to take glance to the side, and there, standing right in front of her garage door was my neighbor lady, looking directly at me.. not saying a word!
I about died right there! It probably would have been easier...

I turned away, pretending not to see her, absolutely as embarrassed as I have ever been in my life!

After what seemed an eternity, the GF finally opened the door and me, naked and with a large blue balloon still bobbing right at the end of my dick, got inside the house to safety!

I carefully avoided the neighbor lady for nearly a month, and when I finally did see her, she never mentioned it. I was still so embarrassed that I could hardly talk though! The only hint that I ever got, was that a couple of weeks after I talked to her, she was having a garage sale. Along with the "garage sale" sign, taped to her sidewalk mail box, were three tightly inflated, blue balloons, about identical to the one I had been wearing..

My GF still laughs and teases me about that to this day...

[cfnm_lars]

I love this story. I wish that I had a GF like yours, you lucky guy

[slave_boy93]

Dude, may i say you are VERY lucky. Love this story. except the part of getting caught to be honest :P but i would love to have a girlfriend like that.
Amazing story!

[singa]

So I tried this the other day. I'm not sure if I was using the wrong balloons or what but I couldn't get it to work. The balloon would not inflate and even trying to pee with it in just let the pee go everywhere except in the balloon.

[Asteroth]

Could you post a photo of one such balloon? Just the way it looks before you do anything to it to show the exact type.

For extra anonymity you can put one on a white sheet of paper so there's nothing distinguishing like an old ornate table or something.