[Non-Fiction] House Rules

[Gigapixel]

As far as reputations go, my younger brother is considered way crazier than me (though if anyone saw some of my posts on here I'm sure that'd change). We're on good terms but we don't hang out much as we run with different kinds of people. I was kind of surprised when he invited me to a party at his friend's house.

I went, though only because I had nothing to do that night and was in the mood to drink. The party was pretty tame. We played normal drinking games like ring of death, ride the bus, FU, F the dealer, etc. The alcohol did a lot towards making the experience bearable. I'm just not a party guy. Loud music and crowds are not my thing.

Around eleven a beer pong table was dragged out. I was goaded into playing the first game with my brother against another set of brothers. The other team won "eyes" and got to shoot first. The younger brother who was about 23 at the time made the first shot, right in the center cup aka bitch cup. Everyone started cheering and yelling "BITCH CUP!" The guy flipped everyone off and then unbuckled his jeans and took them off.

I was shocked. I had heard of the drop pants bitch cup before but had never played with those rules and had never expected to, though I always had wanted to. Even the frats at my college hadn't played with those rules. Needless to say I was looking forward to the rest of the night playing beer pong.

My turn and I sank front cup but my brother missed. The other team's next turn and the young brother made bitch cup again. I moved to remove the cup but my brother stopped me. "House rules are if you make bitch cup again you take off something else." I wanted to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. The guy's pants were already off. He now had to take off more!? This night was just getting better!

"Any other rules I should know about?" I asked as the guy removed a sock.

"Yeah," the guy in his underwear said, "If you lose with all ten cups still on the table you have to do a naked lap around the house."

Holy shit! This was a dream come true. I had fantasized about the naked lap rule, watched dozens of videos online about guys suffering that humiliation, but never thought I'd be playing a beer pong match with that at stake.

Next round the younger brother sank a different cup and got dressed. My brother and I won that match and faced off against two sisters for the next match. I shot first and you better believe it I was aiming for that center cup. I missed though and sank a different cup. One of the girls got bitch cup but as she was a bitch she didn't remove anything.

Next game was against a guy/girl team, unrelated for once. I shot first again and low and behold it bounced off a rim and landed in center cup.

"Bitch cup!" everyone shouted as I blushed and started fumbling with my belt. Thank goodness I had decided to wear a pair of long boxer briefs instead of shorter ones. It took a few rounds for me earn my pants back and between shots I mostly concentrated on not getting a hard on. I was pantsless in front of guys and girls! It was heaven.

We won again and our next opponents were two guys. One of them was really good looking and I was hoping he'd make bitch cup. Hell, I was hoping he'd have to do a naked lap.

Apparently this was that guy's first time playing with the bitch cup rule because when he made it, he got really angry. The host had to come over and tell him that house rules are house rules. He could always not play. The guy muttered something about faggots but took off his pants.

On their next turn the pantsless guy sank bitch cup again. Everyone started jeering at him. Even better he was barefoot. All he had to take off was his boxer briefs and shirt. He of course chose shirt. His partner must have been enjoying his discomfort because he made an awful shot that was no where close to the cups.

The guy ended up playing three more rounds in just his underwear. He missed a lot since he was aiming to not get bitch cup. Finally he made front cup and so went my hopes of seeing him do a naked lap (though I doubt he would have gone through with it). "Show's over, faggots," he said as he got dressed.

We won that game but next game we lost. All the people we had beaten cheered at that. My brother told me if a team wins ten games in a row they can assign a shot to everyone they had beaten. Apparently that wasn't a rule they thought I should know.

The rest of the night was a lot of watching and some playing. A few more guys dropped their pants but it was clear that warm ups were over and everyone was shooting fairly well. There had been one close call for a naked lap (7-3) but the guy and girl eventually were able make one. I had to drop my pants twice more but could never manage to make double bitch cup (though I tried really hard).

It was getting late when I decided to look for a really drunk partner. I found it in a scrawny loner guy who was obviously new to drinking. He'd played a few times before and wasn't that good, though that was a positive in my mind.

This guy agreed by slapping me on the back. Boy was he drunk. While we waited for our turn I took a few more shots of liquor to steel myself for throwing this game.

Our opponents were the host and his best friend. They started out strong sinking five cups before we even got to touch the balls. The scrawny guy shot first and made bitch cup. He blushed deeply but didn't protest as he dropped his shorts and kicked them away. I missed my shot.

Next round and the opponents made two more cups. We were now down seven cups to three. My teammate shot again and made bitch cup! Poor guy. His blush went even deeper. Everyone cheered and yelled "Bitch Cup"! As he was barefoot he ended up taking his shirt off. My shot missed.

Our opponents got a travel and sank two more cups on one shot. Our turn again and the guy told me to shoot first this time as he didn't want to risk getting bitch cup again. I shot... and missed. "Fuck," was all my teammate said. He didn't get bitch cup again but he did miss which was just as good.

The enemy now had one cup left. The first guy missed. The second guy took a few deep breaths. The room was silent. He threw, it sailed through the air, it his the rim of the cup, it span around and started to sink. Me and my teammate both dove to flick it out but were too drunk and uncoordinated to do it. The room exploded.

"Hold on!" I yelled quieting the chants for naked lap. "We've got redemps."

Redemption rules at this house were very generous. Just one of the two shots had to sink to keep one cup on the table. Of course that shot didn't remove a cup but it's a small price to pay to not lose.

I shot first again. "We can do this, man!" I encouraged my teammate. I lined up, I shot, I missed. I turned to my teammate, "YOU CAN DO THIS!" I screamed.

He couldn't do it.

To chants of naked lap we headed towards the back door and our humiliating naked run. Thankfully (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it) no one followed us outside.

"Man, I don't want to do this," my teammate groaned.

"It's late and at least no one followed to watch," I encouraged. It was late but the street was well lit and some asshole had decided to turn on all the outside lights (oh wait, that had been me slowly doing that all night).

"I don't want to see your balls," he complained.

I rolled my eyes. "Here's what we're gonna do," I said, "You'll go back inside. I'll strip and start running. You count to five then come outside and start your lap. I'll be back, dressed, and inside by the time you get here so we'll never see each other."

"Great idea," he said.

I quickly stripped once the door was closed and started my run. I have streaked before but it was weird doing it around a well lit house with the sounds of a party going on inside. My hands were tightly clasped over my groin as I ran slowing me down some. I split my time between watching the street for cars and the windows for anyone peeking (I think I saw someone in a bedroom but wasn't sure).

I rounded a corned of the house and slammed straight into something. I hit it so hard I was knocked to the ground. It took a few moments for my drunk self to register what had happened. Moments where I was basically spread eagle on the ground. I sat up and saw my idiot teammate also with his legs not very close together. It took a second for us both to realize that plan to not see balls resulted in both of us seeing a lot more than just balls.

"Dude!" I yelled as I moved to cover my crotch.

"I didn't know which way you went," he said.

"Always clockwise," I said.

"Didn't know, man."

We both tried to get up but in our drunk and dazed condition we had to use the house for support exposing our junk once again to each other. We then continued our run but of course met up again at the back door. We got dressed facing away from each other.

He went in first since all he had to do was slip on his underwear. We both were cheered as we entered. The host slapped me on the back and gave us shots. "You guys need it," he said. My teammate had to stay in just his underwear until he got to play again as he still had to earn his clothes back. He did it rather quickly and he sighed with relief when he got fully dressed.

On the way home with my brother early that morning he asked, "You have fun?"

"Yeah," I shrugged, "except for that one part."

My brother laughed. "No one's ever had to do a naked lap before," he told me.

"Fuck, I don't want to be known as the naked guy," I said.

"Don't worry," he said, "Everyone said you guys had real balls to do that."

I slept most of the rest of the day but when I woke up I smiled. Another thing checked off my bucket list.

[harddump]

I enjoyed reading this, well done. It's uncanny how every time one comes up with a brilliant plan, it's ruined by just one detail (which direction to run, in your case).