Fiction: The new householders

Marken4 · 04-10-2011, 08:52 AM

Please give me C&C on my English. I want to be better! Update regularly.

---
PART 1
Not too much to read in this part, but I hate stories that jump right to the good parts, so here goes.

He looked over the empty apartment he had lived in for about five years now. The floor was cleaner than ever and the windows once again see-through. Nicholas had begged his ex to help him clean up, and since they still were very good friends she gladly came over.

By the entrance a dozen cardboard boxes waited, the bigger furniture had been picked up earlier in the day, everything except his big double-sized bed that the new householders had decided to buy, just to have something to sleep in the first night. Nick hadn't seen them yet, his real estate agent had handled it all by himself. Nicholas was more than happy with the bid they had offered.

The familiar creaking from the door startled him and made him turn around. In the doorway stood a fairly handsome man. His hair was dirty blond and fell straight down from the top of his head. The average sized eyes held a couple of brown irises and the thick manly eyebrows made them look dark and mysterious. He had a set of freckles under his right eye.

"Excuse me..?" Nicholas stumbled and looked at the handsome man. He had always considered himself as heterosexual, but that had never stopped him from admiring good-looking men. "Oh, you must be Nicholas" the guy said with a relaxed voice and a smile, showing of a set of whiteish teeth. "Uhm.. Yeah - And you are...?"

"I'm Charles," he shaked Nicholas hand and added, "the new householder."
"Oh!" Nicholas smiled back as he suddenly realized. "I was under the impression that you wasn't supposed to arrive until past noon."
"Oh I'm sorry, is it a problem?"
"No, not at all," Nicholas smiled, "I was just about to carry out the last boxes," he nodded at the cardboard boxes.

Charles turned around and saw the boxes, "Oh! I'd love to help you...?"
"That would be great!" Nicholas grinned at him. Charles walked over at took two boxes under each of his hands. Nicholas looked rather amazed at him, he was well aware how heavy the boxes was.

WedgieDareGirl · 04-10-2011, 10:36 AM

This looks good so far.

Silvercola · 04-10-2011, 07:22 PM

Looks very nice so far. Please continue with this story.

04-10-2011, 08:52 AM	#1
Marken4 Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 60	The new householders Please give me C&C on my English. I want to be better! Update regularly. --- PART 1 Not too much to read in this part, but I hate stories that jump right to the good parts, so here goes. He looked over the empty apartment he had lived in for about five years now. The floor was cleaner than ever and the windows once again see-through. Nicholas had begged his ex to help him clean up, and since they still were very good friends she gladly came over. By the entrance a dozen cardboard boxes waited, the bigger furniture had been picked up earlier in the day, everything except his big double-sized bed that the new householders had decided to buy, just to have something to sleep in the first night. Nick hadn't seen them yet, his real estate agent had handled it all by himself. Nicholas was more than happy with the bid they had offered. The familiar creaking from the door startled him and made him turn around. In the doorway stood a fairly handsome man. His hair was dirty blond and fell straight down from the top of his head. The average sized eyes held a couple of brown irises and the thick manly eyebrows made them look dark and mysterious. He had a set of freckles under his right eye. "Excuse me..?" Nicholas stumbled and looked at the handsome man. He had always considered himself as heterosexual, but that had never stopped him from admiring good-looking men. "Oh, you must be Nicholas" the guy said with a relaxed voice and a smile, showing of a set of whiteish teeth. "Uhm.. Yeah - And you are...?" "I'm Charles," he shaked Nicholas hand and added, "the new householder." "Oh!" Nicholas smiled back as he suddenly realized. "I was under the impression that you wasn't supposed to arrive until past noon." "Oh I'm sorry, is it a problem?" "No, not at all," Nicholas smiled, "I was just about to carry out the last boxes," he nodded at the cardboard boxes. Charles turned around and saw the boxes, "Oh! I'd love to help you...?" "That would be great!" Nicholas grinned at him. Charles walked over at took two boxes under each of his hands. Nicholas looked rather amazed at him, he was well aware how heavy the boxes was.

04-10-2011, 10:36 AM	#2
WedgieDareGirl Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: england Posts: 73	This looks good so far. __________________ Hey 14/F/UK Likes: Wedgies, Ice, Anal Dislikes: Messy, Public Limits: Poo, Pee, Family. I dont have msn ect.. so dont ask I dont give pics or videos so dont waste your time asking me.

04-10-2011, 07:22 PM	#3
Silvercola Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 169	Looks very nice so far. Please continue with this story.