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Old 10-20-2017, 09:40 PM   #1
Butterfly
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Default Subs, what is something you don't think Doms understand?

I will be getting the opportunity to Domme a Dom very soon.

He has agreed to submit to me for 30 days, in the hopes that being a sub will make him be a better Dom. Hopefully he will end his 30 days having learned to be a better, more sympathetic, understanding and realistic Dom.

I want him to experience things that Doms hand out regularly, things that are hard for subs to do, that maybe Doms don't understand.

For example, I want him to experience:
*Stuffing panties in his ass
*Wearing a plug for an extended period of time
*Not being allowed to use lube for his plug
*Drinking his own pee
*Trying to cum from anal only

Please help me by giving me your list of things that you wish you Doms could experience. And if you can't think of anything, then feel free to provide ideas for revenge instead :P
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Old 10-20-2017, 09:57 PM   #2
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Dont have anything right now (mostly due to kind blank) but I'm very interested to see what others have to say!
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Old 10-20-2017, 11:05 PM   #3
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That's great, I think every dom and sub should consider switching roles a bit, seems to be a good way for understanding better your main role.

You have great examples already, and the no lube thing, this is something I see demanded a lot, but, at least for me, crosses a important risk threshold.

Other examples I can think of my personal experience are:

1. Felling how you brain reacts to certain plays and the importance of being aware of the mental state of your sub. The big ones for me are tease-denial and a more intense spanking, I usually get a overall post-play depression if I don't get a proper psychological support.
2. Clamps and clothespin. How much they hurt in different parts of the body(tongue is a big one :P).
3. Wearing gags and kneeling for extended period of time.
4. Writing lines. I think some ppl underestimate how time consuming and painful writing the same thing a lot can be.
5. Getting hit in the balls. And how much worse hitting only one is compared with both sides at the same time.
6. Spanking in different parts of the body, the pain varies a lot.
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Old 10-21-2017, 11:55 AM   #4
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I can't stand spanking. I think it would be great to experience, I've had up to an hour of non stop spanks for being bratty, which leaves me in tears at the end. Absolutely perfect, I hope it's the sort of thing you're looking for.
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Old 10-21-2017, 12:31 PM   #5
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I will be honest I often look at the dares/punishments given out here and wonder if the person giving it would like to be on the receiving end. However some of the requests don't help, I see one of the destroy my ass threads is up to 2 or 3 hundred. Well what is the point? she is only going to put things in her ass until she gets bored or she does so much damage that a physician says what are you doing.

I have a butt plug (yeah bully for me) but having tried the once to put it up with out lube, I am telling you, never again, it gets lubed.

@scallywag. I have sympathy for the hour of spanking you endured and clearly its not a one off but you have a spanking number of 300/500 on your signature, why accept it if you aren't going to endure it.

@butterfly, well done for bringing this forward, I think more dom/dommes should experience being the sub but I wonder, how many of you dominate because you would hate to receive and how many dominate because it brings out the bully side of your nature.

Remember a sub is human too, whether you think it or not and if you think they are there to be your plaything to be harmed and destroyed, then you really are in the wrong place.
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Last edited by Joker50; 10-21-2017 at 12:32 PM. Reason: wording
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Old 10-22-2017, 08:22 AM   #6
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*Corner time. This is given so much as a punishment and I don't think many of those giving it realize just how difficult it is, especially longer periods.

*Body writing in mirror image. It's bloody hard to write neatly/clearly on yourself! (Unless that's just me...)

*Sleeping restrained and/or with a toy inside you. It sounds simple but it really isn't and wakes me at least constantly.

*Long sets of lines. I've found some people don't realize exactly how long this can take.

*Preparation and/or clean up of long/messy dares. So many people forget to factor that into their tasks.

*Edging/cumming in hidden public. This is just scary and yet so widely given!
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Old 10-22-2017, 08:43 AM   #7
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Denial, of course.

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Old 10-22-2017, 09:04 AM   #8
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A few of things I have learned from my switchy moments are:
  • How big a part of the process the whole suspense/teasing element is. The excitement sitting waiting for PMs etc can be at least as much of an emotional roller coaster as the tasks themselves. I think that 'edge of your seat' experience is something that's very hard to understand until you have been there.
  • Just how hard it is to 'properly' spank yourself. It's all quite awkward, and actually hitting yourself hard enough for it to sting is rather counter instinctive. Which isn't to say it isn't fun, just...not as easy/straightforward as I think many assume.
  • Unrealistic expectations. I suspect this is partly due to how blurred the line between fantasy and reality can get around here, but there seem to be a lot of requests in the 'not sure that's actually possible' category. Which isn't exactly a turn on.

I'm sure there are more. I think it's very hard to properly understand how being on the receiving end feels unless it's happened to you a few times.
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Old 10-22-2017, 09:33 AM   #9
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I've not got anything to add at this time, but I definitely think it is a good thing for a dom to experience being a sub. I think I've become a better domme since I've been subbing to Lucy, it just gives you a much better understanding of what being a sub entails.
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Old 10-22-2017, 09:39 AM   #10
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Accumulate 2 hours of deep throating before being allowed to touch again.

But seriously, I think this is great. I know not all Dom/Dommes agree, but I do think that they should experience at least some of the stuff subs experience. Typical punishments like corner time and writing lines at least.

I remember once giving someone 1 hour of corner time way way back. I don't know if she actually did it. I sure hope not. Because since I have had to do this myself one day I know that was pretty insane and I think it should never be given except in the case of a really serious offense!
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Old 10-30-2017, 02:07 AM   #11
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How much tease and denial bends your brain, it's that they're teasing, not your junk
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Old 10-30-2017, 03:19 AM   #12
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I don't have anything to add other than the obvious things, long-term spanking and oh god yes, stuffing panties up your ass! How do people even do that? And also, who has time to complete 20-something edges in a day when you are also working. Does nobody ever get too sore to continue?

Thank you for asking subs, little by little we help each other become better in what we do!
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Old 10-30-2017, 03:38 AM   #13
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Not being allowed to go to the toilet for long periods of time, and being made to drink lots of water when already needing the toilet.

Needing permission to do everything (washing, toilet, get dressed etc) - it can be very very frustrating when your dom isn’t available yet you need to do one of those things
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