Seeking Advice about Proposing and Marriage

The Slutty Princess · 03-12-2017, 05:44 PM

I’m making this thread in regards to seeking marital advice...and yes, this is a very scary (but exciting) thread for me to make! I would like to hear advice from any getDare users on a few troubling thoughts and questions I have been having about marriage and proposing. Preferably, I’d like to hear advice from users that are currently married or have been through marriage, but of course, I am open to hearing the opinions of anybody willing to listen and reply!

If you don’t know me, I’ll start with a little background information and an introduction. Nineteen years ago, on October 6th, I crawled out of my mother’s womb as a little ball of energy. My parents have blessed me with the beautiful name Lia (pronounced Lee-ah). I’ve been messing around on getDare for some time now and I’ve had an absolute blast in the process! Currently, I attend college and I am seeking a major in Human Health & Mental Services and I live with the love of my life, Sam. Sam and I actually have been best friends since preschool and she became my high school sweetheart and the love of my life every since I started high school. It wasn’t until last year, on July 8th that I made the courageous step to express my feelings for her and to my parents, and though it was an extremely stressful and nerve-racking experience, I am forever grateful I did. Since July of 2016, I have been dating the love of my life and I have never been happier in my life.

Each day is a new adventure with her and each day that passes marks a lifetime of amazement with her. There is not a doubt in my mind that she isn’t the one for me. She is my idea of perfection. I wouldn’t trade the way I feel about her for anything in the world. She is my absolute everything. I want to spend the rest of my life loving her with everything I have to give. She is the only one I want and the only one I need. No matter how hard I try, I can’t express my love for her in words and I certainly can’t describe to you just how much she means to me.

Some my initial trouble isn’t whether she is the one or not (I knew that since high school), I just have a few other worries.

We are young...very young in society’s eyes. We are both nineteen years old, both working part-time jobs, and both pushing through college. In reality, most people won’t get married until they are in their mid-twenties or even late thirties, but here I am thinking about proposing as a teenager. In hindsight, if I were to propose, the wedding wouldn’t happen until sometime next year, so technically the both of us would be twenty years old at the time of marriage but nonetheless, we’d still be young. And I think there is generally a common misconception that young couples tend to fight often or are more often to split. That is not the case. I’ve promised her forever and she has promised me forever. We never fight. Never. We may have a few disagreements but we always talk them out. I love her way too much to ever fight with her. And even if we are still young and learning, I’d like to learn and grow together.

I also want to assure you that this was not just a spontaneous decision that I came up with tonight. I have spent countless hours and days thinking about this decision. I know the problems that may arise with marriage and the both of us have the maturity for our young age. Even though I am young, I still understand the serious matter of marriage and I appreciate every aspect of it. And let’s not forget, I understand that weddings are freaking expense! And with wedding costs on top of college expenses, I know what you must be thinking...she’s cray cray. But money is not that big of a problem. The both of us have been blessed with jobs and scholarships to help lower the cost of our education, and I’ve been incredibly fortunate that I have enough money in savings that I haven’t (nor will I need to) taken out a loan. I have many connections that will help lower the cost of marriage. I know a photographer that will gladly photograph the wedding for free, I’ll just need to pay for the printing of the photos. I have a few connections to help give me some discounts on the cake, invitations, and the decorations. I have a neighbor who is a DJ who would be more than happy to DJ the wedding for much cheaper than a professional DJ. And as far as dresses go, I am very positive that my family will help contribute towards the cost. And of course, even with these connections and discounts, the wedding will still cost an upwards of $15,000. And though that is a large chunk of change, it is a number that is very affordable between the two of us. I also don’t fear that college will get in the way. Yes, it is time-consuming, but it can’t be any more time consuming than working a full-time job after college. And the benefit that I see through all of this is that I will have my cheerleader right next to me and she’ll have her cheerleader next to her as we approach some of the critical decisions in our life, complete college, and start our careers.

One of the critical reasons I’d like to get married at an early age is due to the health of my relatives and Sam’s relatives. I’ve already lost my grandpa to Alzheimer's last year, my grandma’s health is slowly deteriorating, and my grandparents in Argentina are getting too old to fly. When I was a young girl dreaming of my wedding, I always dreamt that my whole family would be there. It already hurts to know that my grandpa won’t be at my wedding and I don’t want that to be the case for my grandma and my mother’s parents. Sam’s grandparents on her father’s side had already passed when she was young but her the grandparents on her mother’s side happen to be in the same boat as mine, as both of them are not in the best of health. But the biggest reason that I’d like to get engaged so early and hopefully get hitched by next her is for the health of Sam’s mother. She has never been healthy all of her life, but recently, she has been very ill and I’d like for her mother to see her daughter on one of her happiest days of her life.

I’ve only discussed this decision and asked for advice from two people, my sister and one of my friends. And both were chipper in their responses, but excited and supportive of the suggestion. But I’d like to hear some responses from people who may not be as bias as them!

So I guess what I’m asking for is your opinion on the situation.
Am I too young?
Am I rushing this?
Am I making a mistake?
Is there something I am missing?
Benefits of getting married young?
Disadvantages of getting married young?
And of course, I’d be happy to read any other advice about marriage you care to share!

I won’t be making any decision soon. This whole situation is still in the “construction” stage. I still need to talk it over with Sam’s parents, and better off, my parents! And who knows, Maybe it won’t work out, but seeing if it does will be the best adventure ever.

With all the love,
~Lia

DaringDeanna · 03-14-2017, 03:53 AM

I hope my vague words give you some clarity lia!

To me it seems like you are planning three steps ahead, more than you should be.

Right now will always be the oldest you've ever been...and the youngest you'll ever be.

At 19, you might feel like there's so much you have to do that you get so caught up in planning and doing things that you shouldn't be worrying about just yet and end up forgetting to do the things that you can only do right now.

You say that you want your families to see you and Sam on the 'happiest day of you lives.' But really, isn't every single day together the happiest of your lives at that moment? And don't you think your families see that too every single time the two of you visit and not just cause of a supposed wedding?

So really, what would it matter if your wedding took place a few years later, when both your lives have settled a bit, and things were easier to manage.

The Slutty Princess · 03-17-2017, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaringDeanna

I hope my vague words give you some clarity lia!

To me it seems like you are planning three steps ahead, more than you should be.

Right now will always be the oldest you've ever been...and the youngest you'll ever be.

At 19, you might feel like there's so much you have to do that you get so caught up in planning and doing things that you shouldn't be worrying about just yet and end up forgetting to do the things that you can only do right now.

You say that you want your families to see you and Sam on the 'happiest day of you lives.' But really, isn't every single day together the happiest of your lives at that moment? And don't you think your families see that too every single time the two of you visit and not just cause of a supposed wedding?

So really, what would it matter if your wedding took place a few years later, when both your lives have settled a bit, and things were easier to manage.

Thank you so much for responding and giving me your advice, Deanna!

I certainly agree with you in certain aspects.

Each day Sam and I spend together is another day filled with happiness and love and there is no doubt in my mind that both my family and friends and her family and friends can see the mutual love and happiness that we share and cherish together. We have been blessed with families and friends that are supportive of our relationship and take pride in our happiness we have together. There is not a doubt in my mind that Sam's mother and father are filled with joy to see their daughter happily in love each time we visit or they visit us, and it makes me happy to bring them that happiness. But, I guess what I am trying to get at is, I think every bride envisions their parents at their wedding. Every bride has the image of their mother and father overcome with emotion to see their daughter growing up and marrying the person that makes them the happiest in the world, and I want this for Sam. I don't want her to be overcome by emotion that her mother wasn't able to attend the wedding. I want her parents and grandparents at the wedding and I want my parents and grandparents at the wedding. I understand that if I were to wait a few years to get engaged and have a wedding, my grandparents and parents will most likely still be around to attend the wedding but my worries solely come from Sam's mother. The way her health is at the moment and the rate of decline, I'm not sure if she will be around in a few more years. One can only hope so but I just have my worries. I can't imagine my wedding without my mother and I want Sam to be able to go wedding dress shopping with her mother, discuss wedding plans, share a dance at the wedding, etc. And personally, I think proposing in the next few months for the sole purpose would be a strong declaration of my love for her, because I want her to experience the wedding with her mother in attendance and even better, I want her mother to experience her daughter's wedding.

Still, this decison is not an easy one to make and I am tore between what to do but I respect your opinion and I hear your advice!

Love,
~Lia

thewilds · 03-19-2017, 06:09 PM

Am I too young? Slip back a generation or two. Age is not an issue! (Google Romeo and Julliette!)
Am I rushing this? The only rush is if you don't know what you want. I know you already know the answer to that.
Am I making a mistake? Hind sight is 20/20. No one has the answer. If you are committed to each other, you will work through ro*******s, and find solutions together.
Is there something I am missing? If you believe you will succeed, you will succeed. If you believe you will fail, you will fail...
Benefits of getting married young? Growing up together builds unbreakable bonds of shared experiences.
Disadvantages of getting married young? Sex with other partners, but. There are work around for that!
And of course, I’d be happy to read any other advice about marriage you care to share!

03-12-2017, 05:44 PM	#1
The Slutty Princess Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: Lost in Love Somewhere Posts: 231 Blog Entries: 92	Seeking Advice about Proposing and Marriage I’m making this thread in regards to seeking marital advice...and yes, this is a very scary (but exciting) thread for me to make! I would like to hear advice from any getDare users on a few troubling thoughts and questions I have been having about marriage and proposing. Preferably, I’d like to hear advice from users that are currently married or have been through marriage, but of course, I am open to hearing the opinions of anybody willing to listen and reply! If you don’t know me, I’ll start with a little background information and an introduction. Nineteen years ago, on October 6th, I crawled out of my mother’s womb as a little ball of energy. My parents have blessed me with the beautiful name Lia (pronounced Lee-ah). I’ve been messing around on getDare for some time now and I’ve had an absolute blast in the process! Currently, I attend college and I am seeking a major in Human Health & Mental Services and I live with the love of my life, Sam. Sam and I actually have been best friends since preschool and she became my high school sweetheart and the love of my life every since I started high school. It wasn’t until last year, on July 8th that I made the courageous step to express my feelings for her and to my parents, and though it was an extremely stressful and nerve-racking experience, I am forever grateful I did. Since July of 2016, I have been dating the love of my life and I have never been happier in my life. Each day is a new adventure with her and each day that passes marks a lifetime of amazement with her. There is not a doubt in my mind that she isn’t the one for me. She is my idea of perfection. I wouldn’t trade the way I feel about her for anything in the world. She is my absolute everything. I want to spend the rest of my life loving her with everything I have to give. She is the only one I want and the only one I need. No matter how hard I try, I can’t express my love for her in words and I certainly can’t describe to you just how much she means to me. Some my initial trouble isn’t whether she is the one or not (I knew that since high school), I just have a few other worries. We are young...very young in society’s eyes. We are both nineteen years old, both working part-time jobs, and both pushing through college. In reality, most people won’t get married until they are in their mid-twenties or even late thirties, but here I am thinking about proposing as a teenager. In hindsight, if I were to propose, the wedding wouldn’t happen until sometime next year, so technically the both of us would be twenty years old at the time of marriage but nonetheless, we’d still be young. And I think there is generally a common misconception that young couples tend to fight often or are more often to split. That is not the case. I’ve promised her forever and she has promised me forever. We never fight. Never. We may have a few disagreements but we always talk them out. I love her way too much to ever fight with her. And even if we are still young and learning, I’d like to learn and grow together. I also want to assure you that this was not just a spontaneous decision that I came up with tonight. I have spent countless hours and days thinking about this decision. I know the problems that may arise with marriage and the both of us have the maturity for our young age. Even though I am young, I still understand the serious matter of marriage and I appreciate every aspect of it. And let’s not forget, I understand that weddings are freaking expense! And with wedding costs on top of college expenses, I know what you must be thinking...she’s cray cray. But money is not that big of a problem. The both of us have been blessed with jobs and scholarships to help lower the cost of our education, and I’ve been incredibly fortunate that I have enough money in savings that I haven’t (nor will I need to) taken out a loan. I have many connections that will help lower the cost of marriage. I know a photographer that will gladly photograph the wedding for free, I’ll just need to pay for the printing of the photos. I have a few connections to help give me some discounts on the cake, invitations, and the decorations. I have a neighbor who is a DJ who would be more than happy to DJ the wedding for much cheaper than a professional DJ. And as far as dresses go, I am very positive that my family will help contribute towards the cost. And of course, even with these connections and discounts, the wedding will still cost an upwards of $15,000. And though that is a large chunk of change, it is a number that is very affordable between the two of us. I also don’t fear that college will get in the way. Yes, it is time-consuming, but it can’t be any more time consuming than working a full-time job after college. And the benefit that I see through all of this is that I will have my cheerleader right next to me and she’ll have her cheerleader next to her as we approach some of the critical decisions in our life, complete college, and start our careers. One of the critical reasons I’d like to get married at an early age is due to the health of my relatives and Sam’s relatives. I’ve already lost my grandpa to Alzheimer's last year, my grandma’s health is slowly deteriorating, and my grandparents in Argentina are getting too old to fly. When I was a young girl dreaming of my wedding, I always dreamt that my whole family would be there. It already hurts to know that my grandpa won’t be at my wedding and I don’t want that to be the case for my grandma and my mother’s parents. Sam’s grandparents on her father’s side had already passed when she was young but her the grandparents on her mother’s side happen to be in the same boat as mine, as both of them are not in the best of health. But the biggest reason that I’d like to get engaged so early and hopefully get hitched by next her is for the health of Sam’s mother. She has never been healthy all of her life, but recently, she has been very ill and I’d like for her mother to see her daughter on one of her happiest days of her life. I’ve only discussed this decision and asked for advice from two people, my sister and one of my friends. And both were chipper in their responses, but excited and supportive of the suggestion. But I’d like to hear some responses from people who may not be as bias as them! So I guess what I’m asking for is your opinion on the situation. Am I too young? Am I rushing this? Am I making a mistake? Is there something I am missing? Benefits of getting married young? Disadvantages of getting married young? And of course, I’d be happy to read any other advice about marriage you care to share! I won’t be making any decision soon. This whole situation is still in the “construction” stage. I still need to talk it over with Sam’s parents, and better off, my parents! And who knows, Maybe it won’t work out, but seeing if it does will be the best adventure ever. With all the love, ~Lia __________________ Lia Female, 5'7", 118 lbs, Brunette, Bisexual I do not have a Master nor do I want one. I'm a blogger! Follow my life through my blog! I blog about sex, dares, advice, and life events! My Blog 7/8/16 <3 "Everyone comes with scars but you can love them away!"

03-19-2017, 06:09 PM	#4
thewilds Distinguished Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 736	Am I too young? Slip back a generation or two. Age is not an issue! (Google Romeo and Julliette!) Am I rushing this? The only rush is if you don't know what you want. I know you already know the answer to that. Am I making a mistake? Hind sight is 20/20. No one has the answer. If you are committed to each other, you will work through ro*****s, and find solutions together. Is there something I am missing? If you believe you will succeed, you will succeed. If you believe you will fail, you will fail... Benefits of getting married young? Growing up together builds unbreakable bonds of shared experiences. Disadvantages of getting married young? Sex with other partners, but. There are work around for that! And of course, I’d be happy to read any other advice about marriage you care to share! __________________ Interested in giving realistic dares and tasks**

03-14-2017, 03:53 AM	#2
DaringDeanna Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2016 Posts: 2	I hope my vague words give you some clarity lia! To me it seems like you are planning three steps ahead, more than you should be. Right now will always be the oldest you've ever been...and the youngest you'll ever be. At 19, you might feel like there's so much you have to do that you get so caught up in planning and doing things that you shouldn't be worrying about just yet and end up forgetting to do the things that you can only do right now. You say that you want your families to see you and Sam on the 'happiest day of you lives.' But really, isn't every single day together the happiest of your lives at that moment? And don't you think your families see that too every single time the two of you visit and not just cause of a supposed wedding? So really, what would it matter if your wedding took place a few years later, when both your lives have settled a bit, and things were easier to manage.